3,281 - 3,300 of 3,602 Stories

Spoofing the Astronomy Tower. Harry falls in love with a beautiful Muggle, and decides to break it off with all others. And there are a lot of others.

Professor Blaise Zabini, the Care if the Magical Creatures teacher at Hogwarts, comes with his cat Macavity to a quiet inn in Orkneys. But then Macavity is stolen....

Neville acquires a pet ostrich named Nestor. Hilarity ensues. Neville/Lavender ship involved

What happens when a witch (with a capital B) is transported with her friends to Harry Potter's Hogwarts? If you don't already know, then you're about to find out!

Peter Pettigrew has a bad day.

Meet Huff le Puff and Rave'n'claw, two (fairly) normal witches out to protect Canon from invasion. When Hogwarts is invaded by an army more deadly than Voldemort's, they're hired to head off the attack.

One day while Harry's stomach growls, he tries to get food. The only thing to stand in his way are a couple of songs, Star Wars, Weiners, frozen bras, and eggs.

Is this another plot to kill Harry Potter? Appearances from world famous house-elves, Dobby, Winky, and Kreacher! And special guest appearances from Voldemort and Harry's own fairy godfather!

Being raised in a large family, had never really bothered George before; he was usually testing out something truly disgusting on Percy with Fred, before being chased into the garden by Mrs. Weasley, whom he decided looked like a rather large potato when she ran—Fred had agreed that it was alright to think such cruel and horrendous thoughts about One’s Mother if One’s Mother did run like a potato, ergo, One was entitled to imagine as such.

A mysterious man by the name of Lord Voldie has started an advice column, and the students (and staff!) of Hogwarts have opened their hearts and minds to him. Will chaos ensue? Or will they just get terrible advice? And who is the Lemon Drop man?!

Yes...I'm at it again.... It's time for another go-around at Interruptions! It's time to face the truths.... Does Ron really love Hermione... Will Virginia forgive Remus for being a werewolf... Will Sirius ever understand that talking stomachs are not very funny?! (Besides the fact that he's very dense, he has a brain problem.)

Sirius is bored and Snape's getting letters.

Just as Ron is about to tell Hermione how he feels, Voldemort shows up! Not to worry, Harry has a plan, and it is way better than Ron's plan of attacking Voldy with hummus! Will Harry prevail? Will Ron reveal his feelings? Will Hermione wear coloured socks? Find out in this exciting fic!

Crookshanks--half cat, half kneazle--is the most respected beast in the Magical Menagerie, blessed with insight and intelligence that has never been matched by any other creature. So when an Animagus in the form of a beaten-up old rat appears in his beloved stronghold and threatens the peace therein, he has no choice but to attack, even if it means jeopardizing the redheaded little boy who carries said Animagus. He allows himself to be adopted by a young witch who seems to have realized his intelligence and matches it with her own, only to keep an eye on this rat. He feels finally accepted and loved at Hogwarts, but will not let that deter him from his original goal. After all, things are not always what they seem…

Harry goes with his friend Mortie Wimsey and his family to the snail races... with some very unexpected results!

A series I'm doing about how everyone got petrified in Chamber of Secrets.

Is my OC a "Mary Sue"? Damn straight she is. You got a problem with that?``Rated R for vulgar language, ethnic stereotyping and New York attitude.

Find out what happens in the real Harry Potter world, what would happen if Harry had to teach someone to be a wizard, and why Dumbledore really likes cardboard so much! (Okay, that last one is a ``lie.)

Child!Draco. Lucius finds his son in the kitchen with the house-elf. Involves a lot of ice cream.

Harry hears a wonderful disco song on the radio and decides to discofy the school, with the help of Madam Peace Pince. What happens though, when Snape decides to put an end to the disco? Includes disco, funky clothing, cool names, and torture weapons!

The two who know Hogwarts and its students best discuss the 1000-year-old rivalry between red and green that plagues the halls of Hogwarts.

What happens when Harry finds out he has a sister, with whom both Draco and Ron fall in love, and who is better than Hermione in every subject (but still manages to become her best friend)? YES! A MARY SUE FIC!

The war is over. See who fell, and who fell for whom.

Crazy doctors, threats of shots and a drooling nurser.

Poor Ron! His wife's flirting with the vacuum salesman, he's got more kids than he knows what to do with, and he has to wash the dishes! Sounds like the perfect recipe for a midlife crisis. Featuring nosy neighbors, crazy stalkers, and lots of smacking.

Based on the movie Heaven Can Wait. Sirius may have fallen through that veil, but he wasn't supposed to die! The over-eager angel James just happened to make a mistake. Solution: Sirius goes back in the body of no one but Cornelius Fudge. Now he must contact Harry, find a way to get Tonks off of his back, and convince someone that he is indeed Sirius Black! Then, of course, there is the small problem that whoever killed Fudge still wants him dead....

An Umbridgebashing fic. Professor Trelawney is about to be sacked by the High Inquisitor, but refuses to leave. And a seer can be very tricky to nail down...

What would a day with Leprechauns be like? Seamus, Hermione, Cedric and a few other students help out at Expiated Leprechaun Convention. One-shot bit of St. Patrick's Day fun!

Sirius can't quite be impartial when commentating a Quidditch match and even less when one James Potter is playing.

A tale of the pure and untouchable love between Professor Lupin, Winky and Mrs. Norris... Or perhaps not. Let’s start again, the Gryffindors are holding a fête to pay for their now senile headmaster’s upkeep at his new home. Draco Malfoy takes a look and is exposed to the monstrous depravities lurking in the minds of Gryffindors, the above pairing and a hideously androgynous ‘bearded lady’ in the form or Rubeus Hagrid, though he’s probably more concerned about that tail of his.

Draco meets Ginny again, four years after Hogwarts. They seem to forget all of their hatred for each other as they enter into a shallow relationship... but what will happen when Draco gets tired of their relationship and Ginny won't let go? Based on the song, 'Creeps Me Out' by Ima Robot.

"So, Granger, how's the afterlife?" Malfoy said, deciding that he had nothing better to do than converse with his own annoying hallucinations. "Boring," she replied, studying her nails nonchalantly. "You'd hate it." "Want to bet?"

When Camille Bridges, a blonde-haired, blue-eyed American exchange student arrives at Hogwarts, it would seem that she had everything going for her. Classic Mary-Sue story? Not even close, when her new classmates' reactions aren't exactly what she had in mind. This 5th year AU fic takes the Mary-Sue cliche and adds a twist, along with some trouble, snogs, and fun. (H/Hr in later chapters).

Lisa Turpin never knew how complex writing new characters in her story could be.

Wherein Zacharias has some advice, the Hufflepuffs are sympathetic and Draco's reputation precedes him. [Draco/Zacharias]

Dean Thomas tries to make a point that football can be seen everywhere, more often than Quidditch, even off the pitch. But Ron Weasley doesn't agree. A heated but humorous argument of the games between both of them in one night.

Hermione comes to Harry during the summer and brings Peter Pan with her. They go to Neverland and have an adventure... Read to find out what happens to them!

Change we can believe in. Magic's another story.

In Malfoy Manor, Pansy decides she wants lemonade, and a Slytherin ALWAYS gets what they want. So Draco, Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy make lemonade... but it's a bigger problem than they thought. Resulting in humour, but ending with some serious thought of the future, and what it entails for these friends.

When George is confronted by Fred (the Second) about certain...Facts of Life...he immediately thinks of another talk with another Fred from a lifetime ago. Bolstered by his memories, he embarks on his treacherous quest to enlighten his son with the Talk. A story of memories, awkward conversation, mouldy magazines and rear ends set on fire, this, is From Fred to Fred

Draco attempts to save Harry from eternal hellfire and damnation. Featuring hymns, dirty billboards, Muggle religion, and a rather irritated Harry.

Beyond the Veil and What Sirius Found There. ``A Harry Potter/ Richard III crossover.

When Gilderoy Lockhart takes Hogwarts on a trip to Australia, bathers galore are seen, and Ron gets a nice shock. Harry finally begins to understand Snape's boardies as Dumbledore parades the beach in full nudity.

Still as lemony fresh as ever!!! Chapter Two of the long-awaited Oz parody... Harry may be out of Hufflepuff Land, but he's not out of the woods yet!

BEWARE the bar is all powerful and Hermione has disappeared.

Ever wonder what would happen if the Harry Potter characters stumbled across a copy of 'Downfall'? How would they react to the extraordinarily unlikely and cliched situations I've thrust them into?

This was originally written as a response to a challege here on FA. I don't remember the exact specifications, but I do remember it had to have Harry, Fred and George addicted to candycorn.

Whatever *did* happen to the bust of Paracelsus? Hermione Granger certainly had nothing whatsoever to do with it, thankyouverymuch.

Harry's back at Hogwarts for his sixth year, with a bulging beer-belly and some new friends. It's going to be a magnificent year with crazy things happening all the time....

In which a mysterious notice is posted, Hermione is perpetually horrified, Ernie explains Aberforth's love for goats, McGonagall suggests that she and Snape "get it on," Draco waxes poetic about Harry's beauty, and two Santa Clauses dance to the Eurythmics.

What happens when Dumbledore decides that a play (or not, maybe) is what the students at Hogwarts need?

This fic is inspired by Arcly's fanfic plot generator. Description: ``Today, we're going to write a story about Fred Weasley and Ron Weasley which begins up a tree and concerns some nude mud-wrestling.

How Voldemort wanted Goblet of Fire to end.

Ron gets a tip about Draco in a broom closet with *gasp* a Hufflepuff! Slash Draco/Marcus the Hufflepuff.

Professor Snape gives Harry a detention. He gets a little help from Malfoy during said detention.

Just before Valentine's Day, Hogwarts is filled with utter chaos. Not from Voldemort, but from Neville Longbottom's toad knocking over a potion that released a very deadly scent... of lust.

Albus Dumbledore agrees to interview an applicant for the divination job. A kiss and a prophecy prevail.

Mrs Upples of Chethamshire has got a new lawnmower! Unfortunately, it rather has its own ideas...

BWAHAHA!! A silly story with evil! fat! Queen Pansy, a hilarious cheeky(and kind of mean) mirror, stable girl! Hermione, and butcher! Crabbe!!! Only first chappie kids!! More to come. No ships thus far.

Sirius learns a lesson.

Neville is holding a grudge against Hermione--unfortunately, she has no idea what it's about. Sure, it turns out to be rather trivial, as grudges go, but it's the start of the adventure of a lifetime; well, a two-week adventure, anyway. Started before HBP, so sixth year has absolutely nothing in common with the book, 'cept they're sixteen. That's the same.

Hermione goes to a wonderland and talks to Crookshanks about her illness.

It was the fight of the century. A battle of epic proportions. And afterwards, it was vowed to never happen again. Never again would they battle for their kids' affections. Originally written for the 2008 Fall D/G Fic Exchange.

Rose Weasley has decided to keep her word. Yesterday, she promised to try not to hate her family so much - even though this is currently proving to be incredibly difficult. Today, she is going to prove that she is not a wet blanket. She just doesn't know how...

"Ah, Moony, you are denying the deep and aching lake of lust my newly sparkly appearance caused to rise in your soul," said Sirius, but he clambered off the floor and brushed himself down. "Besides, it's pretty. Wanna touch it?" Remus, who seemed unaccountably disturbed, shook his head. "I have better things to do with my hands." Then he went bright red. "Not that I mean. Or um. I have a lot of. Assignments. Didn't do much over the break. That's all I meant." "You are a strange and twisted child, my Remus." Sirius touched his ear gingerly. "But we love you for it. I, being the spectacular, brilliant, amazing student that I am, have done all my essays already."

How vindictive can a teenage witch be? Well, if it happens to be a Weasley, then watch out. Here's how Ginny Weasley reacts.

Random, madcap and yet so cute! Sounds like R/Hr? A piece of advice for 'em--Just Do It.

Draco is obsessively stalking Harry's taxi. Draco gets run over. Draco and Harry contemplate eternal salvation.``Evanescence H/D songfic parody complete with pointless angst, random backstory, inexplainable POV shifts, Muggle trappings, and abuse of the English language.

Ginevra Weasley returns home after several years of self-seclusion from the Magical world. Former Headmaster Dumledore is dealing with death issues and Luna Lovegood is being… herself.

In an AU from the Devil Series by Webba, the author herself gets dragged into her own fic and wackiness ensues. She has some fun with the lovely Peter Pettigrew, confuses Harry and explores her fictional world. Mainly Peter/Webba, with some Harry avoidance. :D Enjoy!

In the spring of her sixth year, Hermione realizes she has something in common with the youngest Weasley - a plan that requires the perfect execution. Part of a Fandom Cliché Challenge.

A loving mother thinks it's time to finally tell her daughter the legend of the girl with neverending tears... Cho Chang, a.k.a. Leaky Lue. What was Cho really like during school? After school? And was this really a legend?

After Voldemort's defeat, Harry and Hedwig have a run-in with an over-zealous Muggle official for animal rights at King's Cross on the way to back to Hogwarts for their 7th year. An alternate ending showing how things could have been if everything had stayed as simple as it was in the first 3 books.

In baseball you need to keep your eye on the ball. In quidditch you have to keep your eye on the bludger. When trying to watch the snitch this proves almost impossible. Thats why a good beater knows when to tell you to Watch It!

One day in the common room, Ron makes friends with a former enemy who helps him out a lot. But is Weepot Maeri Wanna all he is cracked up to be, or his he too good to be true? Muahaha. (Note: a slight hint at a D/SS ship)

It's a fairly amusing account of what happened to Slytherin when Hogwarts was founded.

James Sirius Potter has a plan for the first Quidditch match of the season. One that's sure to grab everyone's attention.

The final battle... with a little of both Harry and Voldemort's 'touch' and some help from the forces of nature and the forces of the impossible.

Lucius in black fur, yummy. Goyle in a Cupboard, not so scrummy. A basilisk with an upset tummy!

What happens when a crazed author captures Harry Potter and tries to force him to write his own fanfiction? Only one thing. Insanity! Featuring blond!Ron!

Someone is playing pranks on the teachers and students of Hogwarts.

There's never a dull moment in the Old Farts Retirement Home. If they've lived this long, one can assume they'll live longer, happier lives. That is, unless they can survive each other. Featuring ForgetfulButStillEvil!Draco, SuckyChessPlayingHero!Harry, Hermione as herself except (much) older, Insane!Peter, and Ron!

Trelawney attempts to impress her class, only to find that her lack of Latin skills has backfired.

Draco has a bad day. Absinthe, ghosts, and snogging follow.

I took Eminem's lyrics and tune and tweaked it a bit; HP style.

The Creevey brothers are babysitting Kevin, the You bust slug kid from the Quidditch world cup. Surely, nothing can go wrong there...

Harry goes crazy when a Slytherin tells him that her house is going to``win the Hogwarts Cup this year. The real height of the story is when the world meets Spider-Bat, but it's mainly about Harry (not).

One thing that no one ever notices about an Animagus is that they retain some sort of the animal they transform into within themselves.

Thanks to his tomcatting ways, Crookshanks is stuck entering the worst rodent in Hogwarts into SMART's Grand Rodent Race: Scabbers. ````Ever wonder what the various animals of Hogwards do when their humans are busy? How these often smarter-than-average creatures keep themselves busy? This story is about one event the Hogwarts cats hold, told from Crookshank's point of view!

Voldemort is known as the terror of the wizarding world, and a terrorist in the Muggle world. Well everyone has their off days... Right? What happens to poor Voldie when he's forced to go out and deal with the Muggles that he despises so much, in order to get the food that makes his evil brain tick?

This author is in for the ride of her life and transferring into Hogwarts as a sixth year is only a blip on the radar! She must cram for exams, avoid Malfoy, get Ron & Hermione together, avoid Malfoy, get Harry & Ginny togther, avoid Malfoy, survive in Hufflepuff and... MAKE OUT WITH MALFOY?! SAY WHAT?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!

In the fifth of my parody series, Harry tries to kill himself several times in rapid succession, stopped by government coverups, several very cool yet grossly screentime-deprived people, and Dumbledore's ACTING!

This is a parody. What if Harry Potter was an American red neck cowboy? This is an exercise in learning how to write dialogue different from the normal English language. The British readers may have problems with it. I was also trying to develop dialogue which suggests sensual themes, but does not define them. What is really going on is in the minds of the reader. Overall, intense romance, strong sexual content, and a lot of humor, I hope. The story got the best of me. It was only supposed to be about six pages. I feel bad about writing it and I don't suggest you read it.

Mrs. Figg had a thing for cats.

Set in the _Slytherin Rising_ AU. Draco Malfoy's in love with Ravenclaw's hardest hard-girl. Can a Slytherin and a Ravenclaw find happiness together---particularly if she tends to think he's rubbish? And what's up with the fencing master and Luna?

Have you ever tried to get things done but came away empty handed, due to unfortunate disturbances? Well, so has Hermione. In this fic, she deals with life's little annoyances, misfortunes, and creative differences, all while trying to hide a little-known passion.

Whatever happened to Lee Jordan's pet spider?

PoA era. Severus Snape takes a thoughtful stroll down Diagon Alley at the start of the Christmas holidays, but it soon turns into a quite a harrowing ordeal for our favourite Potions Master. Contains some rather dark humour. You have been warned!

Is the Giant Squid merely a docile mollusk, or is there something more to this tentacled mystery of the depths? The fate of the world rests in Dobby's hands, and Dumbledore is at his cleverest.

Mortie Wimsey and his best friend Blaise Zabini go for a stroll around the school grounds. They see a bright blue light emerging from a cave and decide to have a look inside the cave. They see there something totally unexpected...