Mud

Fred and Ron Weasley were up a tree. The two boys were perched high enough that they couldn't easily be seen from the ground, yet low enough they had a nice view of the clearing and the lovely, gooey mud pit that had newly been added to the area, and which was currently

covered by a clever layer of leaves that blended with the forest floor. Ron had overheard Fred and George discussing their latest prank inspiration and had begged to be allowed to participate. He had volunteered Draco Malfoy as the victim, and he was dying to see him plunge headfirst into the quagmire, and hopefully go the way of the dinosaurs if he got really lucky. That was probably asking too much though. It would be quite enough to see that smug, self-important look on Malfoy's aristocratic face replaced with a nice coating of muck and an expression to match. Ron giggled and mentally rubbed his hands together, as his physical hands were currently clutching the branch in front of him for dear life. Fred jabbed him in the ribs.

"Shut up, you prat!" Fred hissed, "Do you want him to hear us? If he got the note George left for him he should be here anytime now."

"Do you really think he'll show up?" whispered Ron, "I mean, won't he be suspicious?"

"Do you really think he can resist a challenge from Harry? The git practically lives for a chance to go head to head with him." Fred whispered back.

They heard a rustling far off in the underbrush, and they both held their breath. Draco walked into the clearing. He stopped and looked around. Ron quivered in anticipation.

"Just a little closer..." he thought with barely suppressed glee.

Draco took another step forward. Two steps.

"Oh yeeesss..." thought Ron, "Come to Daddy."

Fred and Ron exchanged grins.

Fred mouthed silently to Ron, "I love it when a plan comes together."

They turned their eyes back to Draco. He started to walk forward when a noise behind him caused him to whirl around.

"Is that you, Potter?" he called, "I thought you'd chickened out."

Harry walked into the clearing. He was carrying his broom and looking as if he had just come from Quidditch practice.

Uh oh. Fred and Ron looked at each in alarm. Their faces saying, "What's he doing here? What should we do?" They shrugged at each other and looked down at the two boys.

"What are you on about, Malfoy?" Harry said angrily. "Hermione told me you accosted her in the library and babbled something about coming out here to teach me a lesson and something obscene she wouldn't repeat. I've told you before to leave my friends alone. I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but..."

Draco snarled, "Idiot Potter, you're the one who set this little "meeting" up. You were just dying to get me out here in the woods to try out one of your pathetic, little Gryffindor plots. I needed a good laugh, so I came out to see what your oh so dastardly plan is."

Harry advanced to stand nose to nose with Draco. He jabbed his finger into Draco's chest to emphasize his words.

"I did not do anything of the sort. I do not know what in the bloody hell you are talking about. I do know that you are an annoying bastard who is *this close* to a fat lip." Harry held up his thumb and forefinger before giving Malfoy his dirtiest look.

"Keep your plebian hands off me, Potter!" Draco spit out furiously. "And I'd like to see you try, you speccy git. I can wipe the floor with you with one hand tied behind my back!"

Harry spat derisively, "Make that with your mouth taped shut and I'd be happy to take you on, you arrogant bastard! I've been wanting to give you what you deserve for a long time!"

Ron wiggled a bit in the branch to get more comfortable. This was shaping up to be very interesting. "This is brilliant! Pound him into the ground, Harry!" Ron fervently sent mental encouragement to Harry. Fred was grinning like a loon.

"I deserve to see you eating dirt in about thirty seconds, Scarhead!" Draco sneered and gave Harry a little shove with his index finger.

Harry dropped his broom and shoved Draco back with both hands. Draco stumbled back a step, unknowingly close to the edge of the pit. Fred and Ron gasped. The two boys below didn't notice. Glaring into Harry's eyes, Draco advanced on the other boy. He grabbed the front of Harry's cloak and pulled him close.

"Now you die, Potter." Draco shoved Harry away hard and he sprawled backwards. Draco smirked.

"Ready to beg for mercy yet?"

Harry launched himself at Draco and the two struggled, grappling with each other silently, neither gaining the upper hand, until one of Draco's heels slipped over the edge of the pit. His face contorting into a look of comic surprise, he started to fall backward, his hands tightening around Harry's robes. They plunged together into the goo.

"What the bloody hell!" Draco swore.

"Argggh!" Harry tried to yell, but quickly stopped to avoid more mud getting in his mouth.

"Is this your bloody idea of a joke, Potter?" Draco was incensed. "My robes are ruined, and I just washed my hair, you bloody twit! I'll kill you!"

Draco attacked Harry in earnest. They rolled together in the muck. Harry attempted to hold Draco off.

"I didn't do this! I'm not any happier about it than you are, Malfoy! And I hear mud is good for your skin, so you should be happy, you poncy git!" He shoved and Draco fell back, still glaring up at Harry.

Harry struggled to stand in the clinging mud. His cloak was a heavy, disgusting mass of grime. He managed to shrug it off and heave it away. Draco followed suit, and the two boys resumed their death glares.

"I meant what I said, Potter. Today is your funeral."

Draco tried to lunge at Harry, but due to the thick mud it was more of a slow crawl. Fortunately for him, Harry's attempt to elude him was just as clumsy. Draco's hand ended up clutching Harry's shirt, and as he moved away the fabric ripped leaving Harry with half his shirt hanging in a shred at his waist. Harry's eyes widened in astonishment that quickly turned to fury.

"This is my good shirt - the only one that isn't a Dudley hand-me-down!"

Harry lunge/crawled towards Draco.

"Who or what is Dudley?" Draco asked, overcome with momentary curiosity before Harry reciprocated his prior action and ripped the shirt from Draco's body. Draco looked down at his bare chest, stunned.

"How very childish, Potter. This shirt was no hand-me-down, and you're going to pay for it!" Draco managed to get close enough to throw his arms around Harry and push him back into the mud. They rolled over and over, each trying to gain the upper hand. Fred and Ron were looking on, vague expressions of unease starting to invade their features.

The two now very dirty boys sat up and paused to catch their breath, their mud-slick chests heaving with exertion. Draco's once pale blond hair was coated in a thick layer of the brown goo. He flicked a glob at Harry, eyeing him with irritation.

"I look like a brunette." Draco said distastefully, "Perhaps your Gryffindor plot was more dastardly than I gave you credit for."

Draco smirked evilly as Harry tried to clean mud out of his ears.

"But don't think that's going to stop me from..."

Harry snarled and attacked Draco.

"Ooomph!" Draco gasped as his breath was knocked out of him.

"Do you ever shut up?" Harry yelled furiously. He tried to grab Draco to smother him in the mud, so he'd finally get a little peace and quiet, but Draco was too slippery. The only thing he could get a good grip on was Draco's trousers.

Riiiiiip.

"Oh. Um. Oops." Harry thought as Draco looked over his shoulder at him in disbelief.

"Oh well." Harry ripped again and again until the trousers were tatters.

"Oh," Harry thought again. "He goes commando."

Harry blushed.

Draco stood and arrogantly ripped away the remains of his pants. He smiled slowly at Harry. Harry panicked and tried to scramble out of the pit. Draco let out a wild yell and tackled Harry. Harry's trousers didn't last long. Up in the tree Fred and Ron were starting to look a little green.

The wrestling boys once again collapsed. Side by side they lay in the mud breathing heavily.

"Do...do you give up, Potter?" Draco wheezed out, trying to sound superior.

"In your dreams, Malfoy." Harry croaked tiredly.

"You flatter yourself, Potter," Draco sneered although it didn't show much through the coating of mud. "Do you really think I'd sully my dreams with the likes of you?"

"You're lying naked in a mud pit, Malfoy. Somehow it doesn't seem such a stretch."

Harry rolled on his side and looked at Draco.

"What? What are you looking at?" Draco asked, irritation lacing his voice.

Harry reached over and drew something on Draco's arm. Overhead, Ron thunked his head against the tree. Fred looked at him with great sympathy. The two boys below didn't notice.

"What are you doing?"

Draco glared at Harry. Harry smiled.

"Branding you."

"What are you on about, Potter? I think this mud has addled your already questionable senses."

Harry laughed. "Oh, my senses are definitely questionable".

He put a finger on Draco's stomach. Draco looked at him like he'd grown two heads. Harry traced the same thing - HP + DM, and he put a little heart around it this time. Draco raised his head to see. He put his head back down and closed his eyes. Harry waited.

Draco opened his mouth, closed it. Harry waited. Draco opened his mouth again.

"Potter."

"Yes, Malfoy?"

"Is this part of your dastardly Gryffindor plan?"

"It is now."

Draco could hear the smile in Harry's voice.

"Oh. Okay."

Harry waited, but Draco remained silent.

"Malfoy?

"Yes, Potter?"

"Is it working?"

Harry waited.

Fred and Ron waited.

Draco almost imperceptibly nodded his head.

Harry smiled. He placed his finger on Draco's mouth and gently wiped the mud from his lips. He put his mouth there instead.

Fred and Ron started as George appeared suddenly in a branch just below them.

"Do you reckon we could trick Angelina and Katie into coming here tomorrow?" George whispered, a wicked glint in his eye.