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Desperate to avoid an arranged marriage, Draco convinces Harry to pretend to be his boyfriend. What follows is an epic romantic comedy involving scheming, snogging, silliness, shagging, snarky boys, superstars, singing, shagging, snuggling, secrets, sex gods, shagging, and a bunny named Draco Lucius Malfoy the Third. HD SLASH (and how!).
A mess-up in Potions sends Draco and Hermione to the past where they meet a couple much like them. Hermione & Draco, James & Lily.
For some reason unfathomable to Remus, Sirius always likes to tell him in excruciating detail about his various romantic problems. Not fluffy.
From the "Movies in Fifteen Minutes" series, as seen on Livejournal. Be warned: the entire movie will be thoroughly spoiled.
Ever noticed how some stories have remarkably similar plotlines? Or simply no plot at all? Then this is the story for you my friends. A humorous collection of commonly found stories from each genre, in which I point out the bleeding obvious and CAPITALISE completely RANDOM words! Mmmm... full of parody goodness! Now with 40% more sarcasm!
Lucius Malfoy is a clumsy git. A pregnancy potion made by Snape for Malfoy's wife ends up spilt on our seventeen year old hero. Harry Potter ends up knocked up. He's really not best pleased. After all, how is he meant to save the world if he has to go on maternity leave?
Hermione is in her seventh year at Hogwarts, and a few things have already gone wrong with her life: her friends won't talk to her, she's tutoring her worst enemy, and she has started to think that Draco Malfoy is attractive....
Prof. Emmy Vector is sick of Snape's favoritism and the other faculty are grumbling about it. She challenges Snape to be fair to all the students for one month. If he can manage it, she promises to do a belly/Egyptian dance in the Great Hall on Halloween. If he loses, she washes his hair for him.
How can the Marauders cope with romance, Slytherins, blenders, wearing dresses, pick-up lines, holidays, N.E.W.T.'s, and more? Read and see!
In the years after Hogwarts, Ron and Hermione are both living in London (separately!) and working for the Ministry of Magic. Harry stayed behind at Hogwarts to recuperate after defeating Voldemort but is now ready to leave so Professor Dumbledore arranges accommodation for him with one of his best friends.``Ron, after sampling the wares of many wonderful witches is now happily going out with Luna Lovegood. Ginny is in love with Dean Thomas who is very supportive of her budding career at Witch Weekly. There is fluff, romance and later on, a little touch of drama and angst.
[COMPLETE] At the start of his 7th year, a stranger from his mother’s past arrives to help Harry find the remaining Horcruxes – and teach him to attain the power the Dark Lord knows not. Harry learns surprising things about his mother. The Ministry of Magic, increasingly under Voldemort’s thumb, attempts to infiltrate Hogwarts, but the feisty Headmistress McGonagall is equal to the challenge. The race against time to destroy the cunningly concealed Horcruxes takes the reader to dark realities where Voldemort reigns supreme. A story to make you think … with a little mystery, romance, adventure, philosophy, and humour along the way.
Draco discovers a cute, cuddly visitor left to him by a Mysterious Person. How will this new kitty bring Harry and Draco closer together? Only the madness of the author's creation, followed by you reading it, will reveal the crazy antics and adventures! Readers have called it: "Cracktastic!" "Rib busting!" "Effing hilarious!"
Part One: Denial (The Unbecoming of Ronald Weasley) Denial and fear aren’t such horrible things, especially when you’ve got alcohol and loneliness to hide behind. Ron is perfectly happy in the empty life he’s made for himself, until Draco Malfoy takes one look at him and understands the things Ron fears even better than he himself does. Draco/Ron, R, AU, Post-Hogwarts
The Marauders MST a copy of PS/SS which fell through a time hole in Remus' bedroom. Intended in fun, please don't kill me...
Harry needs to learn how to kiss. Who do you think might be kind enough to instruct him?
Hermione and Malfoy come across a mysterious Time Turner while patrolling the dungeon one night. When its accidentally turned over, they find themselves in a situation they never could have imagined with people they have never met . . . their kids. D/Hr.
A collection of humorous and sweet moments from the months when Ron and Hermione are expecting baby Rose.
When Lily confronts Remus and Sirius with certain questions about the nature of their relationship, they try to write it off. Unfortunately, James and Peter start agreeing with her and pretty soon Sirius and Remus have to fend off everyone's teasing. In this darkened cloud they find a silver lining and a golden opportunity to play a prank on their friends... But they get a lot more out of it than a good laugh. A lot more.
This is the story of a broom closet at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. What inhabitants has it seen?
It's the autumn of Harry's sixth year. The kids are back at school, the Death Eaters are back on the loose, and Lord Voldemort is plotting to abduct Professor Trelawney. Can a werewolf, a Metamorphagus, a crusading journalist, a Muggle lawyer, and an ex-Death Eater turned singing sensation thwart the Dark Lord's plans? Well, there wouldn't be much of a story if they did, would there?
Harry Potter arrives at Hogwarts to find its students nude, in their birthday suits, devoid of clothing. . . Why are they nude? And why are the Houses getting along? What does this have to do with defeating Voldemort and House Elf rights?
Draco is the bitchy gay wizard version of Bridget Jones. And he has a huge crush on a certain Boy Wonder...
What happens when eleven-year-old Harry Potter, still in his first year at Hogwarts, is thrust into a surprising future? Why are Ron and Hermione
Hogwarts is in need of more drama (!?), so Professor Trelawney decides to put on a play: Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing. The idea seems benign enough, casting obvious and the process straightforward until comedy, jealousy and hijinks ensue as well as everyone being cast against type… or are they?
Lily Evans is Head Girl and she's looking forward to having a quiet final year, as the Marauders have finally graduated. But her hopes are shattered as she learns who the new DADA-teacher is...
It's the summer before their sixth year, and James, Sirius, Remus and Peter are sitting around James' room, quite bored, until a mysterious object hits Peter in the head. It's a book called 'Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban'. As they read it, they learn some interesting things...
"Want to give it a go, Granger?" he challenged. "Finally your chance for a little tÃªte ï¿½ tÃªte with me, wand to wand, no bloody bodyguards to save your day, what do you say?" Hermione comes of age, learning about loyalty, love and lust...just not all from the same person!
Some people live and die in a brilliant flash of light. Lily and James were such people, as were Marissa Fletcher and Sirius Black. Others, seeing them, live their lives almost too afraid to light their own candle, for fear that it will burn and die as quickly. Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and Mundungus Fletcher were such people. They saw some of the brightest lights of the wizarding world shine fearlessly at Hogwarts during the Reign of Terror, but they also lived to see how quickly brilliant fireworks fade away into darkness. But fireworks can light the entire nightsky while they do burn.
SEQUEL TO "DRAGON AND ANGEL". Draco and Ginny return from their honeymoon ready to live happily ever after, but their vast differences in background and family values make for an interesting start to their married life. Add Draco's inexperience with pregnant women and the stage is set for hilarity, confusion and embarrassment.
Basically just Lily, James, and their Romance That Wasn't... (but ``that's just basic, mind you.)
He smiled a very small smile, thinking that the sleepy-eyed, mussed Malfoy he'd stumbled upon that morning had been the most appealing thing he'd seen in years. Which was, when he came right down to it, a truly horrifying thought. Ron really needed to get out more.
Shortly before the events of 'The Chamber of Secrets' start up, Lucius Malfoy starts keeping a diary. In the style of Bridget Jones. Be afraid. Be very afraid. And don't try eating or drinking while reading. Its not recommended (for your own safety). It's rather... silly.
Draco Malfoy, tired of waiting for Harry Potter to notice his feelings, hires Colin Creevey to take pictures of Harry for his private collection.
Three months have past since the end of the Triwizard Tournament, and the Wizarding World has undergone many changes as a result of Voldemort's Resurrection. Within the last three months, random Muggles have evolved an immense magic potential. Dumbledore is quick to help the Ministry try to understand by opening Hogwarts' doors to these confused preteens, teens and even older Muggles? What could be causing these strange mutations? All of our favorite characters are back, including but not limited to Harry, Ron, Hermione and Draco (He's as ``mean as ever, "Muggle scum"). Hogwarts gets a new house added. There will be much snogging to be had, both with familiar faces... and new ones.
“You humiliated me. I admit, you played me very well. However, don’t expect this to be the end.” Graduation Dance practice. Draco and Hermione got paired... oh, the horror!
A dazzling satire of modern human relations among young magic people? An ironic insight into life with the impending danger of Lord Voldemort? Or the self-centred moaning of a neurotic, single sixteen-year-old? Meet Keira Matthews: Ravenclaw sixth year. Lord Voldemort? Nothing! Keira has bigger problems; problems like all the other Ravenclaw girls being smarter and/or prettier than she is, Elodie "Smellodie" Rivers still going out with Justin Finch-Fletchley (claw claw) and Terry Boot being the most irritating bloke on the planet. Add on failing subjects, undone essays and many, many dodgy charms and...well, you get the idea. Rated PG-13 for language.
Ron and Hermione are beginning to have confused feelings about each other. They are being increasingly awkward around each other and having more arguments than ever. Will they ever admit their feelings to each other...let alone to themselves? Maybe, but it won't be right away...and it won't be easy...unless something happens to make them see just how perfect they are for each other.
On the Trio's last day at Hogwarts the whole school is in for a shock. Severus's proposal to Harry is most certainly not the last surprise that is to come. Slash & mpreg SS/HP RL/SB.
Before there was Hogwarts for Harry, there was the Dursley family with two children, one of whom had no friends, hobbies, or even much of a life. Thanks to the generosity of the British Public Health system, the family was bound to be referred for therapy.... Beware of broken or falling glass! And yes, the author is actually a psychologist.
Draco's a male Veela. And Harry's incredibly attracted to him. What follows is a hilarious mess with Harry determined to seduce Draco, and Draco convinced that Harry is nuts. And what will Draco's boyfriend have to say about all this? *SLASH* DM/BZ DM/HP
Draco is That Way and Harry is Crazy; The Hufflepuffs have Steak-knives and Morag Is A Boy. Find out why everyone wants to be Kissing Harry Potter.
Jesse McCade's in trouble. He's been bounced through two wizarding schools and is hoping to get kicked out of the wizarding world to embark on career as an illusionist in Vegas (or Monte Carlo)...too bad Dumbledore's got other plans.
Winky was left in a state of limbo at the end of GoF. This story picks up at the point and is about her, Dobby, and the other Hogwarts house elves. Dobby and Winky have several adventures, make a number of discoveries, and eventually make house elf history.
Draco unwittingly discovers a way to get everything he wants.
Welcome to How to Snog a Pillow. When one desires to snog a person, one must first be practiced in the prestigious art of Pillow Snogging. If one should fail in said activity, then one must avoid human snoggage at all costs. In this book, our very adept pillow-snogging author shall explain the techniques and skills required for the snogging of pillows. Now, should you desire to learn this unprecedented skill and art of which few have mastered in the recent centuries, please turn to Lesson One. WARNING: Humor, nonsense, and Ron up ahead! Prepare to laugh!
When the prefects hold a one-of-its-kind beauty pageant, the students are all up for it. But will the reluctant Gryffindor contestant pull HIS act off perfectly?
Harry Potter's sixth year at Hogwarts is. . . boring! Just where the heck is Lord Voldemort, anyway? Doesn't he know there's supposed to be a war on? When Harry's life in the limelight looks threatened, he takes matters into his own hands.
Dumbledore is putting on a play about the four Hogwarts Founders. Does anyone get the parts they want? Of course not! Mayhem ensues, complete with comedy, romance, insanity, tragedy, Slut!Draco, Harry/Ginny spats, Macho!Ron with a twist, Smart!Goyle, and some very irate parents. Oh, and some nude wrestling, too. Cue the curtain! Slightly AU
A new system of Wizard Internet is now at Hogwarts! But when Ginny mysteriously receives an email to find out who she would be best paired up, she is teamed up with the most unlikely person to be with, Draco Malfoy. Dates, Parties, Snogging and a pair of boxers with hearts, this is one year they won't forget!
Lily Evans is like any other sixth year Hogwarts sudent. She's worried about upcoming exams, the end of year ball, and staying away from that pesky James Potter and his legions. But what if that could change, without warning?
While waiting to travel by floo to #12 Grimmauld Place for Christmas, Hermione Granger is tempted to explore the Headmaster's Office. What she finds there sends her twenty years back in time. The device can work in reverse...with a catch. She must spend nearly four months in the Marauders' time before she can be sent home! During this time her sense of duty and her heart are sorely tested as she seeks to keep her future intact in the face of a deep love that develops between herself and Sirius Black. Once she is brought home, Hermione has a whole new set of challenges as she must adjust to life in her own time as well as help prepare Harry and their friends for the final confrontation with Voldemort.
What if Harry's difficulty with Occlumency stemmed from the fact that Voldemort had put a spell on all of Great Britain, forcing everyone to sing about his or her feelings, rather than being able to keep them a secret? [Parody of "Once More with Feeling" AKA Buffy the Musical; slightly but not completely AU version of OotP.]
The Marauders discover a plot that involves their new friend, Veronica Croft. James and Sirius also discover that Remus is falling in love with Veronica. Does she love him back? Will they ever be happy?
The comedy of how Remus and Sirius got together in their fourth year.
For everyone who isn't quite ready for the story to be over. For everyone who wonders exactly who Draco Malfoy's mystery wife is, and how she got there. For everyone who thinks Severus Snape took a swan dive and played on the credulity of both sides. Draco finds himself bound to an unexpected Potions Mistress, for an improbable apprenticeship. Chock full of Deathly Hallows spoilers, flirtation, seduction, horrible accents, meddling parents, Truth or Dare, naked Potter, naked Snape, chases, escapes, true love...read on. (We don't own them. We just like playing with them.)
Everyone has always wanted to know what's REALLY going on inside the Boy Who Lived's head. Guaranteed Giggles.
We all know that Lily had a lot to do with James' change in behavior, so what about Sirius? SBOC, Marauder era. Mainly fluff, with some subtle humor. Better than it sounds. (According to my reviewers at ff.net, I make fluff cool/interesting/intriguing)
She's been waiting for this moment since she could remember. The moment that she would be able to play Quidditch without playing alongside the person she hates most. However there is a little something that her friends forgot to tell her.
Our Favourite Blonde Slytherin is having issues with his father and his sexuality... and just because he's attracted to The Weasel doesn't mean that he's a real homosexual or anything...
Ginny has her eye set on Harry, but in order to get there, she must get past Hermione, who is set to marry him in May. Will Ginny be able to pull it off with the help of a certain once blond-haired Slytherin?
The Potions Master is about to meet a bitch of unexpected dimensions.
Ginny starts a new club, Midnight Madness. All of the Gryffindors join. Interesting secrets are revealed and new relationships are made.
Stalked through the dungeons by a wild beanbag chair, Draco and Harry have no choice but to come to terms with their differences and work together to survive. Featuring sharp, pointy rocks of doom, rabid furniture, drunken mops, and kisses in broom closets. Harry/Draco.
Eighteen years have passed since Veronica was at Hogwarts. The Memory Charm is failing and Veronica is beginning to remember the times of fun and horror at the school. As a teacher she knows how to make class fun. She learned a lot while away including how to fight. Will she be able to teach Harry all she has learned or will she have to bring others in to help
Hogwarts 1995/6: Snape's past is coming back to haunt him (as if a substance called 'Potion Spoiler' and an undesired change in his physical appearance wasn't enough!). The new DADA teacher, a rock musician with a dubious past, becomes the eccentric mentor of Ginny and Neville. Framed for a few more unsolved murders, Sirius is asked to find an urgently needed counter curse. (Will he have more success than in 1981?) Dumbledore is troubled by a group called League and a leak in his secret 'order,' while several other characters are troubled by love and such...
What if Harry Potter was really REALLY flamboyantly gay?````A/U first year fic, featuring flaming Harry.
A tale from Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts. Professor McGonagall has been poisoned by a vengeful Lucius Malfoy. Harry and his friends are in a race against time to save her. The antidote for the poison may lie in a chateau on the French Riviera. Harry journeys to a city in southern France, and lands in one of the world's biggest parties--the Carnival! There, he gets help in his quest from some unexpected allies. The climax of this tale features Draco Malfoy, Gabrielle Delacour, and--I promise you!--the ULTIMATE knock-down, drag-out, no-holds-barred, James Bond/Indiana Jones-style air chase on Quidditch brooms. Oh, and Hedwig becomes a Mom. (No spoof, no slash, just good solid "Harry Potter" adventure of the kind Lady Rowling gives us.)
Four years after Dumbledore's death, Draco Malfoy shows up on the doorstep of number twelve, Grimmauld Place looking for Harry Potter. Torn between his selfish cowardice and family's pride, Draco finds himself alone on a battlefield and has nowhere else to turn; and Harry has to learn that sometimes you don't put up walls to keep other people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down. (H/D - slash)
Imagine a world where everyone in the Potterverse grew up as Muggles...only they didn't, because without a wizarding world there's no such thing as Muggles anyway. Imagine they all attend a run-down comp where our favourite faces teach, and where numerous other familiar faces crop up in various unlikely guises. Add in Vending-Machine-Repairman!Sirius, and you have this fic...contains slash (should it offend) and het (should it offend) pairings. Lots of.
James Potter has just started his sixth year at Hogwarts. He and his three best friends are looking forward to exploring Hogwarts, playing Quidditch, and causing trouble whenever possible. James is confident he's up to any challenge the year can throw at him... until he meets Lily Evans.
Ginny receives her first assignment as an official Order of the Phoenix member... marry Draco Malfoy? Hermione and Snape develop a new love potion that results in a few unexpected surprises.
During their years at Hogwarts, Hermione finds herself in a secret romance with Draco. That summer she broke it off, telling him it was just a fling. Since then, Harry got married to Ginny and Ron is engaged to the worst person Hermione has ever met, and Hermione is very alone. Meanwhile, Draco moved into his new flat and he decided to take a stroll around the city and bumps into Hermione. They brood on the past and...could possibly something come of it?
There comes a time in a person’s life where he or she has to make a huge decision. Sometimes that decision is poor, based on something he or she is going through at that time. Other times, it turns out to be their best decision. But, ultimately, that one``decision is what decides their future.``This is a story of four friends, four friends whose bonds of friendship``are incredible, a story in which a single decision could ulitmately be``their downfall, or their success. A Tale of the Marauders, from the``Beginning.
The year after Harry Potter defeats Lord Voldemort brings about a sedate mood and an anticipation towards boredom... However, the current seventh years decide to try and lighten the mood. Ginny and Luna set a task for a Ravenclaw, Nadia Page, to feign undying love towards Professor Snape... Then Colin gets involved in the joke. Followed by all hell breaking loose.
L/J Love/Hate Lily Evans doesn't think much of James Potter. Actually, she wants to strew his body around the Quidditch field. But is there more to James Potter then she realizes?
Ladies and gentlemen, by the order of George Weasley, it is Pass the Snog Day! Sheer insanity ensues as a cursed snog is passed around Hogwarts. Who will snog Who?
SLASH. A neat little love rectangle with a colourful choice of pairings between the four stars: Ron, Harry, Draco and Seamus.
By losing a chess game to Harry, Ron now has to answer to a bet made. The thing is... he has to take Snape out on a date!
Love is messy. Draco Malfoy and Ginny Weasley know this. So what could be a better idea than a loveless relationship? After all, they're young, hormonal, and have amazing chemistry between the sheets. Nobody needs to know. Or course, enemies-with-benefits is a situation easily complicated. Sex is the easy part, but what happens when feelings get involved? Fate is waiting on the sidelines to throw their secret world together into turmoil to prove that love isn't the only thing that can keep you up at night. A darkly humorous un-romance of two teens from different sides of the wizarding world who only wanted to make love...not fall into it.
Ever wondered why Book 5 is so late? Or why certain slash pairings seem so right but will never make it into the books? Curious as to what is lurking beneath J.K.R’s perfect fairy tale of struggle and success? Then read on!
It’s the beginning of February and a Slytherin has gotten their hands on Cupid’s bow and set of arrows. The plan goes awry and the arrows are being found all around school. Love is running amok and no one is safe. NO ONE! This fic will contain numerous ships.
19 years after Harry and his friends left Hogwarts and it's finally their children's turn. But with a split in the Weasley family and a shadow passing over Hogwarts things aren't going to be as easy as they thought. Plus there's the eternal problem of how exactly to get hold of Snape's underwear...
Seventeen-year-old Remus Lupin and Sirius Black get summer jobs as instructors for the Kwikspell Correspondence School.
Harry and Hermione obviously like each other, but are either of them brave enough to make the first move? Or will Ron and company have to help them along? Romance...Comedy...it's all here!
Despite the gathering threat of Lord Voldemort and his followers, Remus Lupin hasn't been this happy in years. Together, he and Sirius feel that they and their young new friends Bill Weasley and Nymphadora Tonks are almost living their Marauder days all over again. But things begin to change when Remus finds himself thinking of Nymphadora as something other than just a friend. How will his changing feelings impact the dynamics of the new "Marauders"? And just how much mischief is Remus willing to put up with, when Bill and Nymphadora offer Sirius an unusual birthday present that could put all of them in danger? Set during OOtP.
Based on "Sex in the City," we find out what happens in the sex lives of some of Hogwarts’ most notable students and faculty in a humorous way.
Ever wondered how patrician Andromeda Black ended up with a Muggleborn like Ted Tonks? Step back in time to the swinging 60s, when skirts were short and love was free!
Percy and Hermione get drunk and have to deal with the consequences of their actions!
While meadering in the Forbidden Forest in his Animagus form one evening, James comes across Lily, who mistakenly thinks that he's a harmful deer; she begins to talk about that 'arrogant toe-rag,' thus giving James an idea of how she percieves him and how he can change that perception.
All that Tonks does is write one innocent letter, and all Remus does is reply. But one thing inevitably leads to another, and the letters don't stay innocent for very long. [Fluffy R/T romance, set in the spring of 1996.]
Harry goes to a Britney Spears concert. Britney comes to Hogwarts. Hermione likes Ron. Ron likes Hermione. Ginny is pissed off at Harry. Harry gets jealous when she dates Draco. Britney acts like a slut. What else is new?
Do you need advice? Are there problems you really need help on? Well, too bad! Read the column written by the most unqualified person in the world to give advice.
Ron was sick and tired of them dancing around. He was going to end it by any means necessary. Poor Harry and Hermione.
Hermione and Sirius have both returned to Hogwarts, a few years after Hermione finishes school. Now an acclaimed arithmancer, Hermione is the head of Gryffindor House. Sirius Black, finally cleared of murder, has become the Defense Agains the Dark Arts teacher. As they face the challenges and rewards of teaching, they find the nature of their relationship beginning to change.
The story of an older Draco Malfoy, at the beginnings of a new life that Harry Potter somehow manages to fall into... Light hearted, eventually slashy. (H/D)
A photo captured by Colin Creevey's camera leads to a series of unexpected events.
Neville visits Harry for a few days over the summer and Dudley falls head over heels in love with him. So when Harry goes back to Hogwarts, Dudley finds a way to come along and spend alot more time with his new object of infatuation. But will Neville respond positively to Dudley? And how will the other students react to a Muggle in Hogwarts?
Ginny Weasley’s Diary - intrigue, mystery, danger? Heck NO! More like missed curfews, catty comments and disastrous parties. This ‘just for fun’ writing exercise is plotless, lighthearted and amusing. Join Ginny ‘Ginger Spice’ Weasley as she gives in to teen revelry, the occasional whinge fest, a jot of angst and a rubber chicken’s worth of silliness. Her 3rd year Hogwarts diary has no end; each chapter is a stand-alone. So need a quick laugh? Come check up Ginny’s latest entry. Features Ginny’s best mates, Blaise ‘Imaguy’ Zabini, Terry Boot and Neville Longbottom. Occasional drop-in visitors include Harry, Ron, Fred (boo!) and George (huzzah!), Hermione and everyone’s favorite rotten bloke, Malfoy.