Harry Potter and the Year of Living Stupidly

Harry Potter's sixth year at Hogwarts is. . . boring! Just where the heck is Lord Voldemort, anyway? Doesn't he know there's supposed to be a war on? When Harry's life in the limelight looks threatened, he takes matters into his own hands.

All Harry wants is to be the most special and adored student at Hogwarts again. That isn't too much to ask for, is it? But when his schemes go awry, who will be next victim on his list?

Harry has great plans for after the Quidditch game. But first he has to win it -- and Draco's unwilling to play! Will this match ever get off the ground?

Dumbledore's a fruitcake and Harry's finally snapped. To make things even (unnecessarily) worse, Peter Pettigrew has come to Hogwarts -- and he's stupider than you can imagine. Is this the end of the school as we know it?

Dumbledore learns the hard way that it's not wise to get on Harry's bad side. But how is Harry going to avoid the drunken werewolf in the corridor? Will his evil schemes be foiled once again?

Lupin has the power now -- but can he control Harry's destructive impulses before The Boy Who Lived makes him The Werewolf Who Died?

Lupin's managed to fool Harry -- now can he come to an understanding with Snape? And if he does, is Hogwarts safe from further insanity? Not if Fred and George have any say in the matter, and, unfortunately, it seems they might! Just how stupid can you get, anyway?

Being Headmaster apparently means you get to suffer the worst week of your entire life. Can Lupin survive Friday? Perhaps the gift Professor Flitwick is about to present him with will cheer him up. . . but probably not. (Free Chocolate Frogs to those who guess what it is!)

Lupin is just trying to get through the Day From Hell. But he doesn't know that trouble's brewing in the dungeon. Will he survive his interview? Will Dumbledore ever stop interrupting him? And what exactly does Harry have up his sleeve this time?

Hem, hem! The unfortunate return of a toad -- but will she receive her just deserts? And how is Snape going to deal with two new-fledged gods in the basement, as well as an unwanted flock of admirers? C'mon! You know you want to find out!

There are so many things Harry Potter deserves. . . pork, adulation, house points, godhood. . . But how is he going to get them all? Fred and George think they can help. Meanwhile, the Order schemes with the Death Eaters. Or at least they'd try to, if they weren't so scared of Bellatrix Lestrange!

Yikes! It's Bellatrix Lestrange! Can the Death Eaters and the Order get through a meeting without her eating anyone? And what's Harry up to in the meantime? Nothing good, that's for certain. If you guessed it had something to do with pigs, you'd probably be right.

Ah, the day of the great showdown arrives! At last, Harry Potter versus the Dark Lord Voldemort! Who will win? Who knows! Harry's decided he'd rather go larking off instead! Will Lupin and Sirius be able to track down The-Boy-Who-Lived in time for his own funeral?

Ah, the wonders of Knockturn Alley! Be sure your vaccinations are up to date before entering -- unless you're Fred or George Weasley, in which case don't bother. Meanwhile, old family tensions surface as Aberforth comes to Albus's funeral. Can Lupin keep this mess under control? Is he even going to bother trying?

Voldemort has arrived, and the tension is thicker than pea soup! Err, or perhaps thicker than a really meaty pork stew. . . Anyway, the final showdown is set to begin -- if Harry ever returns from his shopping trip, that is.

The fateful hour has arrived at last. Harry Potter versus the Dark Lord Voldemort. At stake, the fate of the entire wizarding world. Who will live and who will die? Who will eat pork and who will go hungry? And who will believe the depths of stupidity to which this story can plummet!

The end of an era -- and none too soon! How do Harry and friends fare after the fallout from the Great Pig Fridge escapade? Has Harry's ego finally been satisfied? (Hint: Do pigs fly?)