1 - 20 of 670 Stories
From the "Movies in Fifteen Minutes" series, as seen on Livejournal. Be warned: the entire movie will be thoroughly spoiled.
Ever noticed how some stories have remarkably similar plotlines? Or simply no plot at all? Then this is the story for you my friends. A humorous collection of commonly found stories from each genre, in which I point out the bleeding obvious and CAPITALISE completely RANDOM words! Mmmm... full of parody goodness! Now with 40% more sarcasm!
Lucius Malfoy is a clumsy git. A pregnancy potion made by Snape for Malfoy's wife ends up spilt on our seventeen year old hero. Harry Potter ends up knocked up. He's really not best pleased. After all, how is he meant to save the world if he has to go on maternity leave?
A tour guide to the fanfiction based on Harry Potter and the Tough Guide to Fantasy.
Shortly before the events of 'The Chamber of Secrets' start up, Lucius Malfoy starts keeping a diary. In the style of Bridget Jones. Be afraid. Be very afraid. And don't try eating or drinking while reading. Its not recommended (for your own safety). It's rather... silly.
Harry Potter's sixth year at Hogwarts is. . . boring! Just where the heck is Lord Voldemort, anyway? Doesn't he know there's supposed to be a war on? When Harry's life in the limelight looks threatened, he takes matters into his own hands.
"Don't hate yourself for being attracted to me," Harry tells Draco in a dim corridor one Hogwarts morning. Things go downhill from there. A slightly different Harry/Draco romance. (parody/dark humour: if you have a problem with the concept of black humour, avoid this like the plague)
Do you need advice? Are there problems you really need help on? Well, too bad! Read the column written by the most unqualified person in the world to give advice.
Lucius Malfoy is found dead at his home during a hunting week-end. The Trio, Ginny, Draco, Narcissa, Snape, Dumbledore and Voldemort each have their reasons for wanting Malfoy dead. Stranded together during a magical storm, suspicions will build and tempers will fly. But will they solve the mystery in time?
Draco and Ginny have been seeing each other on the sly for months when something unexpected happens. Now they have to tell their families. Beat downs, an evil grandmother, muscle cars, Scooby boxer shorts and rednecks figure predominately in this amusing parody/AU fic.
A Draco and Hermione romance that takes 10 years to find its way! A parody of "When Harry Met Sally."
Voldemort has assembled an unstoppable army--an army of Mary Sues. Will Harry and the Order be able to defeat them?
Its America Idol time, with a Hogwarts twist. We go back to the MWPP era for the very first Hogwarts Idol with Hermione, Harry, and Ron as the judges. You have to vote to see who will become the next Hogwarts Idol!
Who is the mysterious Half Blood Prince? Is it the third-year, Po, who seems to have appeared out of nowhere? Is it Crookshanks, who might not be who he pretends to be? Or is it the one that everyone at Hogwarts most suspects - Harry Potter himself!
Join Hermione, Ginny, Luna, Cho, and six other witches as they compete to be Hogwarts' Next Top Witch. Parody of "America's Next Top Model." Harry Potter and Ron Weasley also star.
Harry, Ginny, Draco, Ron, Hermione, the ancient Septien's Charm, an heirloom from Voldemort, and a healthy ratio of angst : snogging. ``"Ah, but it’s getting better. Sure, you were nearly violated – twice – and your poncy brother is rotting in Azkaban. And it’s likely``that your fantasies of Potter are shot since he’s too noble to gallivant around with someone else’s wife. And you owe me money. And we’re in substandard lodging where someone was most likely murdered in the last twelve hours, although the killing curse wasn’t tossed by you which is a refreshing change. What was my point again?" smirked Draco.
Because it had to happen. Five children are to be taken on a trip inside the world's largest chocolate factory. Which lucky people will find the coveted Golden Tickets? Could one of them possibly be. . . Harry Potter? Nah! Certainly not! Mayhem, madness, and munchies all rolled up in one.
It's time for the students of Hogwarts to set aside house differences in favor of fighting the true battle - Boys VS Girls!
The story begins when Dumpty loses his pair of sandals. What does Voldie has to do with it, and how is he going to take over the world? Insane plot and lots of slash pairings. This is a parody, of course.
Fog, mist, Narcissa Malfoy, and something truly horrible. The beginning of a Gothic romance.
Draco's Diary is full of secrets. Dare you read it?
Pity poor Draco Malfoy. His stunning looks, charm, and wealth have snagged boys, girls, house elves, garden gnomes, grindylows, and inanimate ``objects alike, but little Ginny Weasley may turn out to be the biggest challenge of all...and opposition comes from a most unexpected source.
The characters of Harry Potter have decided to take part in a special season of MTV Diary. Watch as the chosen few reveal secrets, goof off, and make fools out of themselves.
SLASH! PARODY! These raunchy journal entries expose the burning, secret``thoughts and desires of Hogwarts’ sex-crazed students and staff! Warning:``contains excessive references to Harry’s eyes, Draco’s cherry, cold showers,``kinky leather goodies, and a virgin sacrifice for Uncle Voldie!
Harry Potter "was not a normal boy. Not that he was abnormal or anything, like some kind of loony, if you get my point." This begins a rollicking journey of intrigue, romance, suspense, and gratuitous violence. Actually, this is a parody of Harry and his pals that I hope somebody enjoys. In this story, you'll find: Clueless:Harry, Bumpkin:Ron, Annoyed:Hermione, and more. There's a shakeup at Hogwarts in Year 6, with Lupin back on board teaching a brand new class, a new DADA professor named "Canis White," and even a new History of Magic professor! On top of that, there's a competition between the Houses to see who can replace Fred and George as Hogwarts resident pranksters. And as usual, Voldemort's got a plan to get rid of Harry!
Tired of all the Makeover!Hermione stories and looking for something new? This isn't it.
It’s almost approaching the end of Harry’s time at Hogwarts as he enters his seventh year and Dumbledore feels that no Hogwarts student’s education is complete without the requisite Sex Education course. Naturally, Dumbledore’s choice for teaching the class is one (very) unwilling Severus Snape, though it is obviously not for any meaningful reason, save for Dumbledore’s own supreme amusement. Voldemort has been defeated in one dismissing and vague reference. Harry has repressed his issues, but now they are coming to a very convenient breaking point. Hermione has an existential dilemma between choosing to be a modern feminist and wanting to marry a supposed chauvinist, Ron Weasley. Will Neville ever get laid? ...
Delve into my mind, the mind of a Harry Potter-obsessed young woman, and read the conversations which I have had with Harry Potter characters. Find out why the chicken had to go to the bathroom and all those weird things that Jo forgot to mention.
To protect them from Voldemort, Dumbledore sends the sixth-year Gryffindors and Slytherins to America and… Oh, heck, it’s the Marx Brothers meets Monty Python, a Hitchhiker’s Guide to Harry Potter, where no one is safe from lampooning, not the characters, not the authors [JKR and Aerie22], not fanfiction and fanfic authors, not fans and fandom, not even Draco [“You wouldn’t.” Draco said with a sneer. A/N: “Heh, heh, heh,” said the author with a PC and a ‘net connection], and no, dear reader, not even you. So if you’ve been waiting for the War And Peace of silliness, here it is.
An MS fic on its head: Mary Sue as a side character in a Hufflepuff’s life instead of the other way around. As Mary Sue saves the world and shags her way through fanon, the Hufflepuff house goes about its daily business. Justin Finch-Fletchley, this is your life.
An utterly ridiculous Draco/Hermione story wherein I shamelessly lambaste the entire romance genre. Features much snogging, a blatant lack of believable characterization, a godawful plot - oh, and did I mention the Irritatingly Sappy and Improbable Love That Dares Not Speak Its Name?
Born of a challenge by the Sphinx, this is my version of Quidditch in Bed, the innuendo-fest that is a Gryffindor's guide to putting the *ahem* Quaffle through the hoop. The first chapter gives a list of the titles of subsequent chapters. There were certain required elements, which are also duly noted.
It's a boring day at James' house. That is, of course, until Remus finds a book titled Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.
A parody of the famous "How the Grinch Stole Christmas," by Dr. Seuss.
Ron has become VERY openly gay and is in love with Harry. Draco & Ginny are dating, Ron is completely flaming, and a surprise visit from Voldemort!!!
Harry gets the paper and Ron gets confused. Takes place at the Weasleys’ after Draco Malfoy has let a few (dubious!) things slip to the press.
When Lily is dared to kiss Lucius Malfoy, she thinks it's the worst thing in the world. But, what happens after?
Jenna has never read the Harry Potter books, despite the recommendations of both her friends and sister. Then she goes on holiday and someone crashes into her at King's Cross station - and she's no longer where she was.
An accident with a potion upends the comfortable relationship Remus and Severus have had in the three years following the end of the war. How well do two middle-aged men react to change? This is meant as a humorous look at the MPREG clichÃ© and has a very low squick factor.
Twelve members of the Harry Potter universe are picked to live together in one house, complete challenges and try not to drive each other crazy. They are monitored by an invisible "Big Brother" and each week one member will be evicted, barring special circumstances. It's a bit of the show Big Brother, tweaked and twisted to include the Harry Potter characters, humor and romance. Who will be left standing as the housemates are evicted?
A parody of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone that takes place during the Riddle era. Starring the infamous Flower Potter who survived Grindelwalds ye old grande de wrath filling in for Harry, the poor but humorous Haruko Weasley filling for Ron, and the incredibly attractive nagging bookworm Tom Riddle filling in for Hermione. Together, with plot devices, lucky, and insanity, they're going to protect the Stone of Hot Ice from Grindelwald!
Nobody knows why they all love Mary Sue. They just do. Includes a SoundofMusicsinging!Snape, childlike!Dumbledore, and as always perfectineverywayexceptherbrain!Mary Sue.
This is couple of little scenes, drawn together under the assumptions that evil villains do sit together for a nightcap like everyone else, too. These scenes feature Voldemort, the Malfoys, the Lestranges, Wormtail as a waiter, Greyback, Snape obviously... And later on, you'll meet even more notorious scoundrels that you know from outside of the Potterverse.
What happens when Draco, Harry, and Ron appear on a Dating Game? Do you really want to know? Do they want to know? Chaos once again ensues between the three, along with one other....
Insanity ensues when, in her seventh year, Hermione accepts a challenge! Armed with friends, a new found deviousness, and a list of 99 ways to piss snape off, Hermione must make the most of her seventh year. HG/SS, but not romantically...yet
It\'s the sixth year at Hogwarts and He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named has used That-Which-Will-Not-Be-Named... for reasons that are better left unspoken! Join Harry and Draco as they valiantly try to save the day, and just end up digging themselves in deeper. Trophies, bratwurst, and mud, oh my!
Something strange must be in the water at Hogwarts because now the students are beginning to fall in love with people they hadn't suspected.
Have you ever seen that completely silly and hilarious show hosted by Drew Carrey? If you have then you can imagine what craziness and complete silliness ensues when the HP crew get's involved. With Remus as host, and Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Snape as the panel, what would happen? Read to find out.
Kia Potter starts at Hogwarts to be with her brother and great-great-grandfather Albus. But when the people she cares most are drifted off to fight the war against Voldemort, she takes things into her own hands to stop the dark lord. Prologue: Kia comes to Hogwarts, and Harry opens his gifts early.
A great many implausible ships. Poorly written. Really a shame. Yes, here it is: A new girl comes to Hogwarts called Mary-Sue and Harry falls in love with her. The situation is further complicated by the dark machinations of the new DADA teacher. Chaos. Plenty.
It's their seventh year and Harry and Hermione have just broken up. But then an interesting relationship with Hermione and Draco unfolds in detention... They begin a secret relationship, but at the end of the year, it all ends and Harry wants her back. Seven years later. Hermione is engaged to Harry when Draco crosses her path once more. Will old feelings be rekindled? H/Hr D/Hr
A short fic with a twist I guarantee you've NEVER seen...what if Harry Potter..."the Boy Who Lived"...simply...DIED?*evil grin
A story in six-chapters about a horrible curse being perpetrated on a particularly deserving populace. Harry, who is out of shape, in trouble and stuck in the throes of a mid-life crisis, is presumably meant either to stop it or have it happen to him. Perhaps both.
Hermione Granger gets a letter for Hogwarts school, but will her mother and father let her go?
A short parody based on Harry Potter meeting the typical transfer Mary Sue.
A parody of parodies of badfics. Also slash, Mary Sue, MSTs, the prefect's bathroom and more! Actually that's about it.
A group of characters is gathered together to discuss trends in fanfiction and views examples in a MST style. A great sense of humor is a must when reading this fic!
Okay, it's the Hogwarts Players, and they're starting their sixth year season! It isn't all Quidditch, you know; Hogwarts has some very talented thespians. Enjoy the backstage antics as well as the brilliant musical Les Miserables, starring Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy!
Everyone loves Harry Potter. Everyone wants to kiss Harry Potter. Everyone wants to do Harry Potter. But what's Harry's opinion of all this. Who does Harry Potter love? Who does Harry Potter want to kiss? Who does Harry Potter want to do? Features the brilliant parings of; Harry/?????, Harry/Cho, Harry/Pansy, Harry/Ginny and Harry/Hermione.``*Warning* Features Harry Singing (shock Horror)
Harry and Ginny decide to 'help' Ron do something he should have done a long time ago...
Complete. Sirius Black is back from the dead and out to win the attentions of the man he loves – in any way possible! The result? A twisted tale of sex, goats and virgin’s blood. (And a healthy dose of drugs and rock’n’roll, too.) Featuring such fandom gems as Gay!Sirius, Clueless!Harry, Slut!Ginny and Don’t-Even-Ask!Snape.
My favourite boys having a discussion of matters sexual with a bit of help in the form of graphic visual aid from the top shelf of the local news agent. Featuring : JuvenileDelinquent!Harry and Pliant!Draco. Written for Harry's 22nd birthday !
For centuries, this book has been handed down to the eldest male Malfoy on his eighth birthday. It is The Malfoy Code of Conduct.
Based on the well known fairy tale "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs", here's the twisted version of Princess Harry, Queen Voldemort, and the Seven Weasleys (or dwarfs?).
In which Remus cries, Sirius forgets his shirt, and O! there is angst.
Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Draco get the chance to read some fanfiction.
Albus Dumbledore loves karaoke. So, he stages a contest at Hogwarts for it. The winner gets 100 Galleons. Who will win?
What's it like, being Viktor Krum? You're the youngest Seeker ever to compete in the World Cup, you're entering your last year of school, and you're likely to be chosen as Durmstrang Champion. Idolized and adored by fanboys and fangirls everywhere, you've got it all, right? Wrong. All poor Viktor wants is to keep his head down, do his job, be left alone, and maybe, just maybe, to suck up the courage to talk to that bookish, bushy-haired girl that he keeps seeing in the library. But you see, there's the problem of these giggling girls and the fan mail they keep sending him... Taking a wonderful plot bunny from the L.O.F.F Guild and inspiration from The Trouble With Tribbles. One shot by the author of Past Present on Astronomy Tower.
Four mini-fics! Each a parody of the proposed "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix."
This is H/D crack!fic at its worst. Can we say cliché? Yes, yes we can. I tried to get them all.
A story in the Marauders Era based on ``The Wizard of Oz. Lily Evans finds herself in a most beautiful land, and upon meeting three new friends, they all go to Ebony City to get their deepest desire from The Wizard of Black.
Salazar and Severus, through an accident, open their own advice column for the public-at-large. But first, they have to correct a few misconceptions about their personalities. Hilarity ensues.
What could be so sick and disgusting that it would make Ron throw up five times in one story? What could make Hermione faint, Snape scream, and everyone else go nuts? Well, it's as simple as this corny, disturbing scenario! It's Severitus with a twist! A sick, sad, strange little twist...
Formerly known as 'Any Ship'll Do'.``This story starts out with R/Hr and travels on to much more quirkier ships.``It makes no sense, hence it's in Ridikulus. Enter at your own risk.
Harry and Ron are introduced to the wonderful world of fan-fiction. A parody of Harry/Draco fics. If you like Harry/Draco, do NOT read this fic!!!
The Author is hired to write a romance starring Fred and George, but when the 'ships get out of control, the boys demand some creative input. “We’ll make you a deal,” Fred started. “You write what you think she’d like... and we’ll only stop you if we get uncomfortable.” -- Famous last words...
Harry and friends are enjoying a relaxing evening in Gryffindor Tower when all is interrupted by the arrival of a most unexpected visitor.
Lupin gets married and settles down at 12 Grimmauld Place; Filch has a crush on someone; Harry meets his godmother; Ron is still feeling the side-effects of - er, well, Sirius is - oh, I've said too much already! Anyway, there will be loads of hilarious happenings at Hogwarts in Harry's sixth year!
Harry Potter is being beaten by the Dursleys; Hermione gets beeee-oootiful; Hogwarts gets a French transfer student from Beauxbatons AND a transfer from Durmstrang AND a transfer from America AND a transfer from Australia AND...; Draco turns over a new leaf; dances galore; and no one can figure out whether Blaise Zabini is a boy or a girl.
Out of sheer boredom, I began reading HP theories from various sites, and I was amazed at what people were coming up with. Anyway, the next thing I noticed were a bunch of plot bunnies tap dancing on my desk. This is not meant to be read anyone who is sensitive about characters, theories or 'ship. Read, enjoy and review!
The next chapter to the Jerry Springer show: Is Harry really gay? Did he and Draco break up after all? Will Hermione give Harry up that easily?
SLASH! PARODY! Virginal Draco Malfoy watches a mysterious raunchy homemade video, and then receives an owl indicating that he will be “deflowered in seven days,” unless he can first uncover the video’s sordid secrets.
The real story behind how Gyrffindor joined the other Founders to create Hogwarts.
An evangelical preacher in Hogsmeade befriends Draco Malfoy: cue smiting, jokes and ever-so-slightly-gratuitous slash parody. You won't read another fic like this :-)
Lily and Sirius are the most popular couple in school, James is a geek no-one's heard of. What happens when Lily and James meet? *later:* James has a makeover, Sirius appears in a pink bikini, Snape snogs McGonagall, and more!
Join the gang in their Seventh Year in a collection of episodes taken at various points of the year, filled with Teen comedy and starring Hopeless!Neville, Loose!Harry, FallDownDrunk!Ron, Nympho!Hermione, Pimp!Dean, Horny!Seamus, DrugDealer!Draco, Slash!Terry Boot, DirtyOldMan!Dumbledore, Dancing!Malcolm Baddock and Sexaholic!Voldermort. The collection of Episodes is inspired by the movies American Pie 1 and 2, as well as hopeless bouts of insomnia. Each time I cannot sleep, I shall add another one… unless people beg me to stop. Rated R due to language, adult content and because no one would read a Teen Comedy rated PG-13, let’s be honest. Enjoy!
Hermione decides to stop saving the world and start studying for her exams-- yet in the process of avoiding Harry she finds herself first in one man's arms and then in another's.
This is a parody of the more outrageous hurt/comfort Harry/Severus slash fics.
The sequel to Stuck in a Room with You! Sirius gets a wee bit out of hand with his obsession, and Lily gets a wee bit out of hand with Peter... and someone else gets stuck in the room!
Poor, misunderstood Voldemort. Who knew that Bellatrix freaked him out, too? Who knew that he had a sense of humor? Who knew that he was a tenor? Finally, the true life story of the Dark Lord... with music!
Harry stopped believing in good and evil the week his parents, Sirius and Regulus all came back from the dead.
A blatant parody of all the Snape-is-Harry's-father stories that are out there. Enjoy.
Every single one of us has taken the time to respond one of those e-mail surveys. Draco did too - a bit against his will, mind you - and this is what turned out.
Hermione has been acting a little weird lately... Running around school, shagging ALL the Quidditch players! But what happens when she gets a...disease? How does Malfoy factor in to all of this? What's a boy (who lived) to do?
The inhabitants of Hogwarts are having trouble sleeping. Why? Because of nightmares, of course. But not just any nightmares; they\'re dreaming about the Fandom, and that\'s enough to scare anyone. No one\'s going to be sleeping tonight...
A humorous parody of the clichéd fanfics you've read and grown to despise. A Fanfiction author gets sucked into the Lands of Harry Potter Clichés. There is a plot of sorts, despite heavy doses of silliness. Some Mary Sue bashing.
Do you enjoy Snape's makeovers? If so, don't read. He's supposed to be a greasy-haired, yellow-teethed and sallow-skinned Potions Master and I'm depriving him of those attributes. Why? Because he's in love, obviously.
This is another of my 'Magic Quill dictation' fics. We all read about Harry's careers advice session, but the other students must have had them. Here's Crabbe's.