The Dork Lord
Half Blood Prince The Musical by The Dork Lord08/22/2007
These are the parts of HBP that you didn't get to read, mostly because they involve people bursting into song at the drop of a hat.
The Banshee's Hand by The Dork Lord08/30/2006
A young Tom Riddle encounters the only son of Grindelwald. In the course of their short acquaintance, Tom learns several lessons about pain, torment and death.
It's Called a Hangover by The Dork Lord08/25/2006
It's Bill's stag night, but it's Harry and Ron that seem to be having the most fun. Features hungover Harry and plenty of flashbacks.
Nigel? Nigel? Who The Heck Is Nigel? by The Dork Lord08/18/2006
Ron comes across his old dress robes while rummaging around in his trunk. A debate ensues as to how he actually got them and just who is this Nigel kid?
Harry Potter and the Order of Nudism by The Dork Lord07/22/2006
A one shot building on the end of 'Harry's True Love'. It's Ron's first time attending one of the Hogwarts Naturism Society's meetings and it's not one he's likely to forget.
Harry's True Love by The Dork Lord04/29/2006
Harry has been acting very strangely, staying up in the dormitory without a word to anyone. Hermione, of course, is compelled to investigate, though not even she could have guessed what Harry has been doing up there. Warning: slash, very weird slash.
Memories of Michael by The Dork Lord02/08/2006
For those who have read 'The Seriousness of Sirius Potter' or 'The Intentional Accident', then this provides a bit of backstory for Michael Wood. If you haven't read them, then it's a rather nice Oliver/Katie story.
Careers Advice - Slytherin by The Dork Lord01/02/2006
This is another of my 'Magic Quill dictation' fics. We all read about Harry's careers advice session, but the other students must have had them. Here's Crabbe's.
I Don't Want to Tap-Dance! by The Dork Lord09/20/2005
Ron is having a very weird experience, involving spiders. This is what they didn't have time to show you in the film version of POA.
The Trouble with Baby Bill by The Dork Lord08/08/2005
Arthur and Molly are blessed with their first little bundle of joy, but is parenthood as easy as they expected it to be? Of course it isn't, that much is obvious.
Pure Love by The Dork Lord08/03/2005
Michael Wood spends some time pondering how he feels about his son and his husband. Set before the events of The Intentional Accident: Chapter 18.
The Intentional Accident by The Dork Lord07/05/2005
Sirius Potter and Michael Wood have moved into a small London flat together. When Michael comes home from Quidditch practise one day, Sirius has something important to talk about. Slash SP/MW
Birds of a Feather ... by The Dork Lord06/21/2005
Harry and Ron walk into their dormitory to find someone making use of Harry's bed. General randomness. H/P.
A Bit of Potter and Weasley by The Dork Lord06/10/2005
This is for all you Fry and Laurie fans out there. I know you exist because I am one myself. Some of their best sketches will be seen here, adapted for the Harry Potter universe.
Starlight Seamus by The Dork Lord05/16/2005
Seamus and Neville have been living together for a while and Seamus can't seem to hang on to a job. One day, Neville finds him the perfect career that makes use of his hidden singing talent but it leads to division between them. Mild S/N slash.
Self Defence by The Dork Lord04/16/2005
Harry teaches a rather unusual DA lesson. This is very much based on (OK, ripped off from) Monty Python's 'Self Defence Against Fruit' sketch.
A Lady Friend by The Dork Lord03/08/2005
Remember how Hagrid suggested he might find a lady friend for Grawp? Well, what if he did? Warning: if you are not amused by smutty innuendoes then do not, I repeat, do not read this fic.
Making No Sense Whatsoever by The Dork Lord03/04/2005
They say the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher position is cursed. This series explores just how low into the barrel Dumbledore will scrape to find new teachers.
The Drunken Diary by The Dork Lord01/12/2005
Remus is using a Magic Dictation Quill to make an entry in his diary. As he remembers the good old days, he resorts to the bottle to help him feel better. Every word he says is recorded.
Christmas With The Potters by The Dork Lord01/09/2005
Harry is being dragged along by his wife to do some urgent Christmas shopping. Not only that but they're also looking after their two year old grandson as well. A fluffy fic full of cute toddler moments, and a bit of annoyance on Harry's part. Some reference to SP/MW slash.
Right Up Yer Kilt! by The Dork Lord01/06/2005
Hermione dictates a confession that tells all about Harry's secret kilt obsession. Warning, pants jokes ahead. (That's jokes about pants, not jokes that are pants.)
Backrub by The Dork Lord12/14/2004
During duelling practise in the Room of Requirement, Harry takes a hex in the back and is knocked out. Ron lays him down on the bed to recover. When he wakes up, Harry and Ron do something neither of them expected. The morning after, however, one of them has deep regrets. Back story from chapter 11 of The Seriousness of Sirius Potter'. Heavy HP/RW slash.
The Seriousness of Sirius Potter by The Dork Lord12/09/2004
Young Sirius Potter is in his sixth year at Hogwarts. During a Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson, he discovers the love of his life in Michael Wood, Oliver Wood's son. Heavy slash SP/MW
Dobby Is Fine, You Is Nuts! by The Dork Lord11/30/2004
Harry makes Dobby attend a support group for characters who can't help speaking in the third person. After all, the ones who do are usually the crazy ones, right? One-shot.
Time for a Change by The Dork Lord11/18/2004
Harry is looking after his young grandson when an old friend arrives with an interesting proposition. Set several months after 'A Tale of Two Twins'. Short, fluffy.
Sirius' Shrieks in the Shack by The Dork Lord11/15/2004
Set nine years before 'A Tale of Two Twins'. Four year old Sirius Potter is on a family visit to his Uncle Ron and Auntie Hermione's house. Boredom sets in until his cousins, Henry and Jonathan, offer to take him somewhere really 'cool'.
The Powers That Be by The Dork Lord11/15/2004
The sequel to 'Padfoot in the Park' and 'Beach Blast'. Harry has spent a whole year trying to find out how his godfather might have come back from the dead. He thinks he may be getting close but how does it affect the ones he loves?
Like Mother Like Son by The Dork Lord11/13/2004
The sequel to 'Like Grandfather Like Father Like Son'. Donald is about to confront Snape concerning his treatment of his young cousin Sirius.
A Tale of Two Twins by The Dork Lord11/12/2004
Henry and Jonathan Weasley are at Hogwarts for Christmas and have been landed with the job of looking after their cousin Sirius. Jonathan, however, has other plans. Set two years after 'Like Mother Like Son'
Too Good to be True by The Dork Lord11/08/2004
Neville is the happiest he has ever been. He has a loving wife, three wonderful children. Things are so good for him right now, it can hardly be true.
Like Grandfather Like Father Like Son by The Dork Lord11/08/2004
Young Sirius Potter, son of the Boy Who Lived is off for his first year at Hogwarts. The teachers are happy to see him, all except one.
Passing the Torch by The Dork Lord10/23/2004
Fred and George are asked to look after Ron's youngest sons. Can they handle it? Hey, it's Fred and George here, of course they can ...or are they getting slow in their old age? Set at the same time as 'Beach Blast'.
Beach Blast by The Dork Lord10/23/2004
Harry is trying to relax with his family, but things take a dangerous turn when three old aquaintances show up. Set after 'Padfoot in the Park' and at the same time as 'Passing the Torch'
Anyone Fancy a Pint? by The Dork Lord10/19/2004
The long-awaited sequel to 'Suit You Mr. Potter!' Still good for a giggle even if you've never seen the Fast Show.
Padfoot in the Park by The Dork Lord10/18/2004
Harry and Ginny decide to meet up with Ron and Hermione in the park along with their children, including the latest addition to the Potter clan. It's a wonderful day out until Harry sees an old friend.
Not Welcome at Christmas by The Dork Lord10/18/2004
Harry and Ginny are to play host to their family and friends on Christmas day. Everything's going fine until an unexpected and unwanted guest arrives. Sequel to 'Gambling With Granddad.'
Suit You Mr. Potter! by The Dork Lord10/03/2004
This is basically Harry Potter meets the Fast Show. To those who have never seen the Fast Show it will make no sense, but it's good for a cheap laugh whether you're a fan or not.
Peeves' Pestering Problem by The Dork Lord09/27/2004
Hermione is concerned by Peeves' recent odd behaviour but she has something else on her mind and parts beyond. HG/RW
Potter's Premonition by The Dork Lord09/27/2004
It's little Harry's christening and he's being passed around like a parcel, but he seems to really dislike one of the guests.
Gambling with Granddad by The Dork Lord09/21/2004
Ron and Hermione are expecting another baby, so Donald goes to stay with his grandparents while Hermione is in the hospital. A seriously fluffy fic set after 'Ronald and Donald'.
Worming a Way Out by The Dork Lord09/16/2004
The tale of Peter Pettigrew's betrayal and escape from certain death.
Ignorance is Bliss, Knowledge is Death by The Dork Lord09/14/2004
An investigation into the death of Regulus Black. Who``did it and how?
Ronald and Donald by The Dork Lord09/11/2004
Ron spends some time with his baby son. Set during 'The Long Time Love of Longbottom'
The Long Time Love of Longbottom by The Dork Lord09/10/2004
The story of Neville's secret love. How long can he keep his true feelings buried away?
Bad Dobby by The Dork Lord08/20/2004
Dobby once told Harry Potter that he used the Room of Requirement when Winky was very drunk. He said it with a guilty look. Just what was he so guilty about?
A Pain in the Vein by The Dork Lord07/19/2004
Lord Voldemort is in agonising pain. Will his 'faithful' Death Eaters stay faithful?