The Dork Lord

These are the parts of HBP that you didn't get to read, mostly because they involve people bursting into song at the drop of a hat.

Words: 16,461
Chapters: 15
Hits: 10,224

A young Tom Riddle encounters the only son of Grindelwald. In the course of their short acquaintance, Tom learns several lessons about pain, torment and death.

Words: 4,032
Chapters: 3
Hits: 463

It's Bill's stag night, but it's Harry and Ron that seem to be having the most fun. Features hungover Harry and plenty of flashbacks.

Words: 2,082
Chapters: 1
Hits: 1,484

Ron comes across his old dress robes while rummaging around in his trunk. A debate ensues as to how he actually got them and just who is this Nigel kid?

Words: 1,315
Chapters: 1
Hits: 437

A one shot building on the end of 'Harry's True Love'. It's Ron's first time attending one of the Hogwarts Naturism Society's meetings and it's not one he's likely to forget.

Words: 1,675
Chapters: 1
Hits: 707

Harry has been acting very strangely, staying up in the dormitory without a word to anyone. Hermione, of course, is compelled to investigate, though not even she could have guessed what Harry has been doing up there. Warning: slash, very weird slash.

Words: 8,502
Chapters: 5
Hits: 13,141

For those who have read 'The Seriousness of Sirius Potter' or 'The Intentional Accident', then this provides a bit of backstory for Michael Wood. If you haven't read them, then it's a rather nice Oliver/Katie story.

Words: 3,233
Chapters: 1
Hits: 530

This is another of my 'Magic Quill dictation' fics. We all read about Harry's careers advice session, but the other students must have had them. Here's Crabbe's.

Words: 1,778
Chapters: 3
Hits: 2,184

Ron is having a very weird experience, involving spiders. This is what they didn't have time to show you in the film version of POA.

Words: 1,098
Chapters: 1
Hits: 1,131

Arthur and Molly are blessed with their first little bundle of joy, but is parenthood as easy as they expected it to be? Of course it isn't, that much is obvious.

Words: 885
Chapters: 1
Hits: 374
Pure Love by The Dork Lord

Michael Wood spends some time pondering how he feels about his son and his husband. Set before the events of The Intentional Accident: Chapter 18.

Words: 1,073
Chapters: 1
Hits: 301

Sirius Potter and Michael Wood have moved into a small London flat together. When Michael comes home from Quidditch practise one day, Sirius has something important to talk about. Slash SP/MW

Words: 31,176
Chapters: 20
Hits: 6,857

Harry and Ron walk into their dormitory to find someone making use of Harry's bed. General randomness. H/P.

Words: 1,306
Chapters: 1
Hits: 689

This is for all you Fry and Laurie fans out there. I know you exist because I am one myself. Some of their best sketches will be seen here, adapted for the Harry Potter universe.

Words: 6,152
Chapters: 6
Hits: 1,923

Seamus and Neville have been living together for a while and Seamus can't seem to hang on to a job. One day, Neville finds him the perfect career that makes use of his hidden singing talent but it leads to division between them. Mild S/N slash.

Words: 4,131
Chapters: 1
Hits: 373
Self Defence by The Dork Lord

Harry teaches a rather unusual DA lesson. This is very much based on (OK, ripped off from) Monty Python's 'Self Defence Against Fruit' sketch.

Words: 1,277
Chapters: 1
Hits: 707

Remember how Hagrid suggested he might find a lady friend for Grawp? Well, what if he did? Warning: if you are not amused by smutty innuendoes then do not, I repeat, do not read this fic.

Words: 761
Chapters: 1
Hits: 395

They say the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher position is cursed. This series explores just how low into the barrel Dumbledore will scrape to find new teachers.

Words: 11,532
Chapters: 10
Hits: 6,174

Remus is using a Magic Dictation Quill to make an entry in his diary. As he remembers the good old days, he resorts to the bottle to help him feel better. Every word he says is recorded.

Words: 724
Chapters: 1
Hits: 825

Harry is being dragged along by his wife to do some urgent Christmas shopping. Not only that but they're also looking after their two year old grandson as well. A fluffy fic full of cute toddler moments, and a bit of annoyance on Harry's part. Some reference to SP/MW slash.

Words: 9,217
Chapters: 3
Hits: 1,360

Hermione dictates a confession that tells all about Harry's secret kilt obsession. Warning, pants jokes ahead. (That's jokes about pants, not jokes that are pants.)

Words: 1,161
Chapters: 1
Hits: 1,231
Backrub by The Dork Lord

During duelling practise in the Room of Requirement, Harry takes a hex in the back and is knocked out. Ron lays him down on the bed to recover. When he wakes up, Harry and Ron do something neither of them expected. The morning after, however, one of them has deep regrets. Back story from chapter 11 of The Seriousness of Sirius Potter'. Heavy HP/RW slash.

Words: 2,855
Chapters: 1
Hits: 1,505

Young Sirius Potter is in his sixth year at Hogwarts. During a Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson, he discovers the love of his life in Michael Wood, Oliver Wood's son. Heavy slash SP/MW

Words: 10,559
Chapters: 12
Hits: 4,677

Harry makes Dobby attend a support group for characters who can't help speaking in the third person. After all, the ones who do are usually the crazy ones, right? One-shot.

Words: 1,282
Chapters: 1
Hits: 693

Harry is looking after his young grandson when an old friend arrives with an interesting proposition. Set several months after 'A Tale of Two Twins'. Short, fluffy.

Words: 1,202
Chapters: 1
Hits: 589

Set nine years before 'A Tale of Two Twins'. Four year old Sirius Potter is on a family visit to his Uncle Ron and Auntie Hermione's house. Boredom sets in until his cousins, Henry and Jonathan, offer to take him somewhere really 'cool'.

Words: 2,663
Chapters: 1
Hits: 314

The sequel to 'Padfoot in the Park' and 'Beach Blast'. Harry has spent a whole year trying to find out how his godfather might have come back from the dead. He thinks he may be getting close but how does it affect the ones he loves?

Words: 1,925
Chapters: 1
Hits: 472

The sequel to 'Like Grandfather Like Father Like Son'. Donald is about to confront Snape concerning his treatment of his young cousin Sirius.

Words: 1,422
Chapters: 1
Hits: 468

Henry and Jonathan Weasley are at Hogwarts for Christmas and have been landed with the job of looking after their cousin Sirius. Jonathan, however, has other plans. Set two years after 'Like Mother Like Son'

Words: 1,964
Chapters: 1
Hits: 481

Neville is the happiest he has ever been. He has a loving wife, three wonderful children. Things are so good for him right now, it can hardly be true.

Words: 1,249
Chapters: 1
Hits: 992

Young Sirius Potter, son of the Boy Who Lived is off for his first year at Hogwarts. The teachers are happy to see him, all except one.

Words: 1,502
Chapters: 1
Hits: 652

Fred and George are asked to look after Ron's youngest sons. Can they handle it? Hey, it's Fred and George here, of course they can ...or are they getting slow in their old age? Set at the same time as 'Beach Blast'.

Words: 1,657
Chapters: 2
Hits: 1,020
Beach Blast by The Dork Lord

Harry is trying to relax with his family, but things take a dangerous turn when three old aquaintances show up. Set after 'Padfoot in the Park' and at the same time as 'Passing the Torch'

Words: 1,174
Chapters: 1
Hits: 469

The long-awaited sequel to 'Suit You Mr. Potter!' Still good for a giggle even if you've never seen the Fast Show.

Words: 1,105
Chapters: 1
Hits: 394

Harry and Ginny decide to meet up with Ron and Hermione in the park along with their children, including the latest addition to the Potter clan. It's a wonderful day out until Harry sees an old friend.

Words: 795
Chapters: 1
Hits: 772

Harry and Ginny are to play host to their family and friends on Christmas day. Everything's going fine until an unexpected and unwanted guest arrives. Sequel to 'Gambling With Granddad.'

Words: 1,514
Chapters: 1
Hits: 538

This is basically Harry Potter meets the Fast Show. To those who have never seen the Fast Show it will make no sense, but it's good for a cheap laugh whether you're a fan or not.

Words: 775
Chapters: 1
Hits: 498

Hermione is concerned by Peeves' recent odd behaviour but she has something else on her mind and parts beyond. HG/RW

Words: 2,187
Chapters: 2
Hits: 1,005

It's little Harry's christening and he's being passed around like a parcel, but he seems to really dislike one of the guests.

Words: 653
Chapters: 1
Hits: 626

Ron and Hermione are expecting another baby, so Donald goes to stay with his grandparents while Hermione is in the hospital. A seriously fluffy fic set after 'Ronald and Donald'.

Words: 1,127
Chapters: 1
Hits: 758

The tale of Peter Pettigrew's betrayal and escape from certain death.

Words: 2,095
Chapters: 1
Hits: 250

An investigation into the death of Regulus Black. Who``did it and how?

Words: 511
Chapters: 1
Hits: 347

Ron spends some time with his baby son. Set during 'The Long Time Love of Longbottom'

Words: 1,140
Chapters: 1
Hits: 781

The story of Neville's secret love. How long can he keep his true feelings buried away?

Words: 1,343
Chapters: 1
Hits: 914
Bad Dobby by The Dork Lord

Dobby once told Harry Potter that he used the Room of Requirement when Winky was very drunk. He said it with a guilty look. Just what was he so guilty about?

Words: 586
Chapters: 1
Hits: 1,053

Lord Voldemort is in agonising pain. Will his 'faithful' Death Eaters stay faithful?

Words: 553
Chapters: 1
Hits: 322