Birds of a Feather ...

"Push, Hermione! Come on, push!" said Ron encouragingly.

"I am pushing, damn you!" exclaimed Hermione irritably.

"Just one more push! Almost there!" said Ron as he and Hermione gave the broom cupboard door one final shove. It finally shut with a click. Dusting off his hands, Ron stepped back. "Filch should really think about clearing out that broom cupboard. It's overflowing with crap."

"Indeed," stated Hermione. "Well, that's our patrol over. We can go back to the tower now. I don't know about you but I'm ready for bed."

"Oh Hermione," said Ron in a mock suggestive tone. "If you insist." Hermione threw him a look that could kill at fifty paces, something she was perfectly prepared to do. With all their extra Prefect duties, Ron and Hermione were finding their sixth year to be harder than expected. It wasn't made any easier by everyone claiming that they made a cute couple. After the incident Hermione had experienced with Viktor Krum that summer she was very close to going off men forever, but that's another story.

Upon arriving in the Gryffindor common room, they found Harry asleep in one of the armchairs. Taking Potions at N.E.W.T level was taking it's toll on the Boy Who Lived. He had his notebook in his lap, except the potion notes stopped halfway down the open page. After that it consisted of 'Death to the Greasy Bastard' over and over again. Hermione gave Harry a gentle tap on the shoulder. When that didn't work she clobbered him over the head with his notebook. She was in a really bad mood. With Harry partially awake, they said their goodnights and made their way up to the dormitories. As soon as Harry and Ron entered the sixth year dormitory, Ron could tell something was wrong. Pigwidgeon's cage next to his bed was empty.

"Where's Pig?"

"I don't know. Maybe he's in the Owlery?" offered Harry.

"No, he can't be. He doesn't go to the Owlery anymore, not since the bigger owls started trying to eat him. He's got to be around here somewhere." Pigwidgeon's location was soon made clear when a loud, shrill hooting came from behind the curtains of Harry's bed. Harry was the one unfortunate enough to pull the curtains back to find Pigwidgeon ...and Hedwig.

If you've never seen two birds going at it, then you'll just have to imagine it. Go on, I dare you. If you have seen two birds loving each other very much, then you'll know what an amazingly comical sight it is. Harry and Ron, however, were not in the mood for laughter.

"Hedwig!" exclaimed Harry.

"Pig!" yelled Ron.

"Harry!" shouted Seamus, who had just been woken up.

"Ron!" cried Dean, who had also been woken up.

"Snape!" screamed Neville, who was still half asleep.

"Hoot!" said Pig, which for the sake of the reader, meant 'Guys, a little privacy please?' Ron and Harry both turned to each other, both equally red in the face.

"What is your owl doing with Hedwig?" demanded Harry.

"What is your owl doing with Pigwidgeon?" enquired Ron.

"Oh no, you're not pinning this on Hedwig! This is all Pig's fault!" Harry turned to his three roommates. "And you three! Pig was sexually assaulting my owl and you didn't do anything about it? Weren't you a little suspicious about the loud hooting coming from my bed?"

"We're selectively heavy sleepers," explained Dean before going back to sleep. While her owner bickered with the ginger boy, Hedwig turned her head to look at the feather strewn bed, then turned to Pigwidgeon.

"Hoot hoot?" she asked, which meant 'Was that as good for you as it was for me?'

~|~

It was some time before Ron and Harry would even look at each other again. As usual it was Hermione who was the voice of reason. Sandwiched between them at the Gryffindor table one morning, she dodged a spoonful of porridge Ron had shot at Harry.

"Look, I know Hedwig's a sophisticated, dignified bird and Pigwidgeon's an eccentric little weirdo, but you've got to remember that they're just animals. They have natural urges and occasionally they give in to them. I'm sure you two could relate." Ignoring Hermione's dig at them, Harry and Ron's anger melted away like a big melting thing.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Sorry, Ron."

"I'm sorry too, Harry."

"There, that wasn't too hard, now was it?"

"Besides," said Ron as he returned to actually eating his porridge, "Crookshanks has been getting busy with Mrs. Norris for months and you've never let it bother you."

"What?" exclaimed Hermione, jumping off her seat. "When did this start? My little Crookshanks and that mangy, foul creature! Oh just you wait until I see Filch!" With that, Hermione stormed out of the Great Hall. Harry helped himself to some bacon.

"Good thing we didn't tell her about what Crookshanks has been doing with Professor McGonagall."

After the day's lessons, Harry and Ron made their way up to their dormitory to drop off their bags. It had been great spending the day talking to each other again. This didn't last much longer, due to what they saw upon entering their dormitory. Hedwig was pulling Harry's socks out of his drawer and placing them around something inside her cage. Something that looked very much like an egg. Hedwig spotted her owner and the ginger kid at the door.

"To wit to woo!" she said, which pretty much meant 'Surprise!' Sparks flew.

"That stupid little flying tennis ball! I'll kill him!"

"Now hang on a sec, Harry. We don't even know if Pig is the father."

"What are you implying? You're saying that Hedwig is some kind of owl hussy, aren't you?"

"Well now that you mention it, I saw her giving Errol a funny sideways glance over the summer!"

"She's an owl, you dolt! They always look at each other that way!" Their shouts carried down to the common room, the Slytherin common room that is. Luckily it was Hermione that came running to shut them both up ...one way or another. When Hermione saw the egg nestled cosily in Hedwig's cage, she was overcome with warm fuzzy feelings and the like.

"Guys, why are you arguing? This is a good thing. Hedwig's going to be a mother and she doesn't need you getting all heated up over it, Harry."

"I just want to know if Pig will do the honourable thing and look after the chick with Hedwig," stated Harry.

"Harry, will you please stop talking out of your ass! He's a bloody owl! He has a very tiny brain!" exclaimed Ron.

"Yes, and we know where he keeps it!" retorted Harry. Hedwig took advantage of the human's distraction and proceeded to take some of Harry's underpants to add to her little nest. They were considerably warmer than his socks.

~|~

Harry and Ron were soon back on speaking terms when the students of Hogwart's had to unite to defend the school from an onslaught of Voldemort's most formidable forces. There was a great deal of dramatic battles, hand-to-hand struggles, near death experiences and a catchy musical number. However, that is not the focus of this story. Once the battle was won, a frantically twittering Pigwidgeon summoned Harry, Ron and Hermione to the dormitory. It was time.

Standing around Hedwig's cage, they all eagerly awaited the arrival of Hedwig and Pig's little bundle of fluffy joy. The shell began to crack, slowly at first, then more rapidly. Finally, a tiny chick poked its way out. It had very fine feathers, which were snowy white like Hedwig's. However, instead of a slight hint of Pig's grey feathers, there was a definite tinge of dark brown. Putting two and two together, Pig turned to Hedwig.

"Hoot!" he cried, which basically meant 'You slut!'