The loooong Muggle survey by Draco Malfoy

The loooong Mugglesurvey by Draco Malfoy

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Draco sighed and ran a hand for his platinum blond hair. He so hated Muggle Studies.

Why on earth was Draco Lucifer Malfoyin a Muggle Studies class?

Bloody runes teacher got sick, that's why.

Thank you for clarifying, Draco. Hey, don't scowl like that. It's not my fault!

You're the blasted author; I suppose pretty much everything that happens will be your fault now won't it?

Erm... it's a way to see things. But cool down, I won't do anything too terrible. I'm a fan of yours! *grins*

And everyone isn't?

Well, they should. But let me quit this, the reader is looking annoyed.

Why should SHE be annoyed?! *I'm* the one stuck with MuggleStudies!

Draco ran his beautiful, icy greyishey- ahem, he looked around the room. There were several Ravenclaws there, a few Hufflepuffsand two or three Gryffindors.

Why ain't I surprised to see Mudblood Granger here?

I don't know. Perhaps it has to do with Hermione having signed up to practically ALL extra subjects on Hogwarts.

Bingo.

There weren't any Slytherins in the room, though. When informed that they were to attend a MuggleStudies class, they had simply walked out of the classroom. All of them except for Draco.

Not like I didn't want to do that, but my Father would have my ass on a silver plate if he heard I was skipping classes.

Yes, we all know that. Everybody know of all the pressure you have at home, to live up to the Malfoyname. It must be so difficult and...

Don't pity me because I'm a Malfoy. It's the reason I can make your life miserable if you dare making me angry, and to social knowledge I do not like people that pity me.

Ok, ok, sorry... *murmuring* Git....

"Class, your attention please!"

Ah, that's Professor Heyes. Her voice is piercing, not in the leas bit pleasant. Maybe it's because she opens her mouth too much to talk. Or maybe she does that because her mouth is too big... She always has her brownish hair hanging loose, and she loves to wear neutral colours like beige.

"As it's Friday and our last class of the week, it's time for a game!"

Draco rolled his eyes.

Typical Muggle.Snape would have given us double homework, because it'd be two days until the next class.

"Remember last class, when we talked about Mugglecomputers and their electronic mail?"

Hermione Granger nodded vigorously and Draco felt an urge to use some nasty, painful curse on her.
Heyes took some paper sheets from an envelope and started distributing them to the class.

Draco looked at his with disguised interest; he wasn't used to that thin, white kind of parchment.

"This is an e-mail chain. People fill it with information about themselves and pass forward to their mailing lists, just so that their friends can get to know them better. Have fun!"

Draco looked more closely at the paper, and then at his wristwatch. Thirty long minutes until the class was to end.

Don't you try to induce me to fill in this Mudbloodthing because I won't do it.

Yes you will. I'm the author and I say you have to do it!

Make me.

Fine.

"Mr. Malfoy, do you have any problems with the survey?"

Professor Heyes' voice hurt Draco'sears.

You play dirty.

'Any means to achieve the ends' rings a bell for you?

Damn you.

C'mon, it won't be so bad. It's just a bunch of innocent questions.

Draco looked down at his paper. He grabbed his eagle feather.

1.What's your name? Draco Lucifer Malfoy
2. Nickname? I don't have one and, if I did, I wouldn't be telling YOU
3. Middle name? Are you stupid of what? Silly question. Lucifer
4. Any siblings? No, the Malfoy blood is all contained in precious me
5. How old are you? 16
6. When is your birthday? August 12th
7. What's your starsign? Didn't you take Astronomy? I'm a Leo
8. Skin colour? Flawless white
9. Hair colour? Platinum silver blond
10. Eye colour? Icy greyish blue. Fancy? Get a number
11. What's your favourite colour? Black. Green and Silver are nice, too. Talk about being a Slytherin
12. Food? Mustard.Why are you looking at me like that?
13. Room in the house? Library.
14. Any special talents? All of them
15. What do you want to be when you grow up? Same thing I am now, in command of many
16. Your biggest dream is? World domination.The Malfoy name makes it a little more achievable
17. Preferred music style? Melodic heavy metal, classic music, anything by the Weird Sisters
18. What do you do in your spare time? Conceive plans to screw Potter. Figuratively! Wipe that stupid grin outtayour face now! *pulls out wand menacingly*
19. What would you rather do in your spare time? Right now I'd live very much to kill you in a slow and painful way *still scowling*
20. What's your best treat? Perfection, obviously
21. And your worst one? A strange tendency to want to curse people that ask stupid questions.Of course I don't have bad treats! I'm Draco Lucifer Malfoy for Merlin's sake!
22. Any strange habits?
Hexing people that irritate me. Ok, ok... I collect dragon sculptures. Hey it's not THAT strange, and I heard the narcissistic thing!
23. Would you say you're shy? Definitely no
24. Do you follow all the rules, or are you a rule breaker? I make my own rules. If you don't like it, you can just kiss my...
25. What was your first word? Daddy. Yeah right snicker. Did YOU start with homophobia or something?
26. How do you act when you're around someone you have a crush on? Snap my fingers; then they'll come to me
27. Do you have a crush on someone at the moment? No, and if I did it'd be none of your business
28. Describe yourself using one word: Malfoy. Perfection. Ah, they're the same anyway
29. Make up a story with yourself: There was this perfect, platinum blond-haired wizard named Draco. He at age 17 could rule the fate of many, and that only tended to grow as he got older until he was the ruler of the word. Just for the record, that is about to become a veridical tale
30. If you got a tattoo, where would you get it, and what would it be? A Dragon, probably on my back
31. If we had proof God didn't exist, what would happen? People would start worshipping me. A few smart girls have already started to do so *grins*
32. Can you do a cartwheel? What kind of stupid question is THAT?!
33. What are your thoughts on homosexuality? Anything's game
34. Virginity? If you haven't had sex yet it's just because you couldn't find anyone who wanted to fuck you. That, believe me, it's not my case.

Quick, what would you do if...?

35. I punched you? Owl Father and Cruciatus you to keep me entertained until he arrives and skins you alive
36. There was a naked man in your living room? Depends.If it's morning, then I've just shagged him and I shove him out. If it's evening and he's attractive then I get naked too
37. You were on a nude beach? I would never set foot on a nude beach. Firstly, if you want to get me naked than you'll have to make an effort. Secondly, I have *fair* skin remember?
38. You were on a desert island? Disapparateback home, obviously. What? I am 16 and I can Apparate, big deal.

Do you...

39. Believe in God? Well... I'm here and I'm perfect. If someone is to blame...
40. Smoke? Sometimes, cinnamon cigarettes.
41. Snore? Spare me.
42. Drool in your sleep? Hell no the Malfoyelegance works 24/7
43. Sleep with socks on? I sleep naked
44. Talk to yourself? If I'm in desperate need of intelligent conversation
45. Enjoy being naked? Everyone enjoys it when I'm naked
46. Keep a journal? Hogwarts girls keep a detailed enough record of my life
47. Play any musical instruments? Piano.Father taught me
48. Like to dance? I am a natural, graceful dancer. STOP that muffled laugh, I can hear it!
49. Talk on the phone a lot? What is a phone?
50. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Suppose I'd have to choose between having one or the other, so no I don't.
51. A best friend? Myself. My Father. Pretty much the same.
52. Kiss on your first date? Yes
53. Have a crush on someone? Not at the moment
54. Eat with your mouth open? Please. I'm a Malfoy. Ill manners are not even a part of my vocabulary

Are you...

55. A virgin? No
56. Left or right handed? Left
57. A morning person? No. I like the night... specially the moonless ones
58. Organised? Sure. Father and Snape united can do that to you
59. Superstitious? No
60. Tired? Never
61. Lonely? Sometimes...
62. Happy? Whenever I look at the mirror
63. Talking to someone online? Mugglestuff again. What is 'online' supposed to mean?

Have you ever...

64. Been kissed? Of course
65. Done drugs? Yeah... don't particularly fancy that, though. There are much better ways to get your kicks, if you know the Dark Arts.
66.Eaten an entire box of Oreos? What are Oreos?
67. Been on stage? The audiences love me
68. Dumped someone else? Would you like an alphabetic list or a chronological one?
69. Been dumped by someone? Not your business
70. Been in a car accident? Potter did once. I don't mess with Muggle stuff, don't want to get my hands dirty
71. Been in love? Yes. Don't you dare ask.

Within the last 24 hours, have you...

72. Helped someone? Do you know who are you talking to?
73. Bought something? A pair of leather pants. I'm one of the few blessed that actually look good on them
74. Gotten sick? I seldom get sick
75. Gone to the movies? As if this thing wasn't boring enough, there are Muggle questions. I really hate you
76. Gone out for dinner? I'm at school
77. Said "I love you"? No, but I've heard it a few times though
78. Written a real letter? I write Father every week. And what do you mean by 'real'?
79. Cried? I'm a Slytherin AND a Malfoy. Do I really need to answer that?
80. Talked to an ex? Yes. Pansy won't leave me alone
81. Missed an ex? I'm way beyond that
82. Talked to an old friend? Yes. Professor Snapeand I spent last night in a lovely continuation of a chess match. I'm winning
83. Had a fight with someone? Potter. He's in the hospital wing right now, with little orange balls all over his ears
84. Had a serious talk? No.
85. Missed someone? Father
86. Hugged someone? No

87. What time is it? High time this awful thing ended!

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End. Ok, that was meaningless and damn long... but I just felt like it!

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