Spider-Bat's Story

"Watch it, Potter," he said. "You'd better be off to Potions, now, go on!"

Harry wouldn't move. I had to shove him a little, and his motor went full power. He screamed, and ran the opposite way, yelling, "The Prefect knows my schedule! The Prefect knows my schedule!"

"Harry!" Ron yelled. "Potions is the only class down here!"

Harry didn't hear him over his own screams. He collided with a third year, who spat at him, "I don't care what anyone says about the Gryffindors, we Slytherins are going to win the house cup, and the Quidditch cup!"

"They... will?" Harry started crying and ran right up the stairs, yelling, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"We are so late for class," Hermione said.

***

They hurried up the stairs and found Harry yelling at the prefect who watches the hourglasses. He's actually a Muggle that Dumbledore cursed to only say what the hourglasses do and who's in the lead.

"I'm telling you, Slytherin's going to win!"

"Gryffindor is in the lead,"

"And they're stalking us, so they know our schedules!"

"The hourglasses show the current house point totals,"

Harry ran off and told everyone what was happening, and they laughed. They tried to catch him, but he ran up the steps of the hall and right into Malfoy.

Malfoy wasn't in their N.E.W.T. classes. He took the classes that the flunkeys take, which was the usual schedule that they followed for the last few years. He had this hour free.

Harry screamed and ran the other direction, right through us. Out the front door he went, still screaming.

***

We followed him through the courtyard, down the bridge, and into the stone circle. He climbed up a pillar and sort of shivered.

"Harry!" Ron screamed. "Get down! We've already missed half of Potions! Snape's gonna flunk us for sure!"

Harry started flinching, saying, "Sn...Snape... king of Slytherin land... Mal...foy... Queen Malfoy,"

"We're never getting him down from there," Hermione sighed.

"HOLY CHICKEN!" Harry yelled, looking at the Whomping Willow. "That thing looks tasty!"

"Crap!" Hermione said. "Harry's going to eat the Willow!"

Harry jumped down from his pillar and went right for the pounding plant, licking his lips on the way. Grabbing onto a branch, he bit down, and the tree swayed him this way and that.

"Yuck!" Harry exclaimed, and he let go of the tree. He was whipped right through a window on the second floor.

"Crap," Ron said. "This day is really starting to suck."

"At least our next class is Charms," Hermione sighed.

***

"SEAMUS! SEAMUS!" Harry yelled, tearing through the crowd.

"Harry, man, what's up?"

"Guys, the Slytherins, they..."

"Harry, you need to calm down. You want a pizza?"

"Sure," Harry said, gasping for breath as Seamus took a pizza out of his pocket.

"I think it's time to go in," Dean said. Everyone went in the class.

Down the hall, Ron and Hermione saw the guys do what they couldn't, and took a nice breath of air.

"Why did Harry spaz out like that?" Hermione asked.

"Because I said so," a voice said. A handsome, costumed guy came crashing through the window via spider web. His costume was black, with a red spider with bat ears on it. He had four red lines on his face and triangular, white eyepieces. Everything looked wonderful on him, and his large muscles were greatly shown.

"Who are you?" Ron asked. The hero took out a laptop and typed something, and all of a sudden, Hermione started making out with him.

"I'm Spider-Bat," Spider-Bat said. "I wrote this story, and it will soon be on the internet. MUA-HA-HA!"

He had another kissing fest with Hermione, and the two carried on through a strange chapel that appeared out of nowhere, got married, and left the school via web.

Ron sat there, all alone, and wondered who was under that mask. That man was a genius, Ron thought. Ron took out his own laptop and started writing a story about him and Britney Spears, and that's where this story ends.