801 - 820 of 3,602 Stories

Ever wonder why Mrs. Norris shows up on the map, but other animals do not? What is the real Reason Filch calls her my sweet? Well Curiosity overwhelmes the Marauders shortly after they have finished writing the map and many years later curiosity overwhelms Harry, Ron, Fred, George, and Lee.

Come on. Someone had to write this, and I've thrown myself to the task so we can all enjoy a little overly predictable Christmas Cheer featuring Draco 'tightwad' Malfoy. I just love the Dickens out of 'A Christmas Carol', so I have endeavored to bring to the light of day this ghostly little Hogwarts story guaranteed to make dear Charles Dickens to roll over in his grave and someone whose name rhymes with 'J.K. Bowling' get back to work on her novel so we'll stop writing this fan fic stuff and make her richer. So pour yourself a little Ogden's Old Firewhiskey in your eggnog, sit by the fireplace, or an exceedingly large candle, with your favorite house-elf or loved one and enjoy 'A Hogwarts Christmas Carol'.

Remmy on a Stick?! Sirius wants to know why a certain girl thinks that Remmy on a Stick would be yummy? Perhaps he'll find out why as well as some other things...

It's a dark and stormy night. Harry, Ron, and Hermione are playing a nice game of poker. Suddenly, Ron starts saying extremely stupid things. Oh, the things they could lead to!

What happens when Ron has to fill in at Gred and Forge's Qwick-Stop Wizard Convenience Store? Mob scenes, a funeral, a Quidditch match, a dead guy in the bathroom, Draco the drug dealer, and more. A complete rip off of Kevin Smith's movie "Clerks". Featuring Dante!Ron, Randall!Harry, Veronica!Hermione, William!Neville, Caitlyn!Fleur, Jay!Draco and... Silent Bob as himself. Everyone's totally and completely OOC. (Except Silent Bob. He doesn't talk much here either.)

James and Sirius discover the joys of Chinese take-away and those pesky fortune cookies. Set during MWPP era between sixth and seventh year. R/S implied, unrequited J/L.

One of the students of Hogwarts has been murdered, and now everyone is sorting out their alibis.

Gandalf the White writes to Dumbledore about "copyright infringement," Dumbledore talks about his Dancing Trophy, and Gandalf becomes obsessed with Professor Flitwick.

What Ron, Hermione, and Harry would say if they read some of the fanfiction out there. Set at Hermione's house, where the three have spent the last two months of their summer holidays.

Fred and George Weasley, owners of Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes and master purveyors are proud to present to you their best and well-told bizarre Weasley food tales for the humor pleasure of everyone from kids to adults. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls - the food tales fresh from The Burrow in Ottery St. Catchpole! Need to say more? Nuff said!

Colin Creevey\\\'s end–of–year report at the end of his first year. He did have a good excuse, of course.

When Lily goes into labour, James is unceremoniously kicked out of the bedroom. To help pass the time, he owls his friends Sirius, Peter and Remus.

SNAPE KILLS HARRY AND ****S HERMIONE!!! Well, I think that's eye-catching and exciting enough...

After an accident Draco finds himself in an interesting predicament and must find a way to save himself. Features veela!Draco, Harry/ Draco.

Severus and Hermione find a perfect way to end a bad day.

We all know Snape hates Christmas, but what if some unknown force tried to convert him? A Dickens parody featuring Snape and three rather unusual Christmas Spirits.

Sherlock!Sirius solves his first mystery.

During the summer after Harry's fourth year, Sirius's name is cleared after Peter Pettigrew is caught. He has now taken up the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts....

A Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes instructional publication by Fred and George Weasley.

Severus learns that small children can remember quite a lot.

The DADA Teachers go back for their second session with Dr. Kincaid. This time the session is full of surprises.

Mix a bowl of Gred and Forge with a block of muggle computer, and add a pinch of Ron. Taste the results!

What happens when Snape is unable to come to school for a week? He hires a substitute! Guess who it is! It's Voldemort!

"Easily the most boring class was History of Magic, which was the only one taught by a ghost. Professor Binns had been very old indeed when he had fallen asleep in front of the staff room fire and got up the next morning to teach, leaving his body behind him..." (PS/SS). What happens in his first class?

Well meaning, if somewhat shallow and inept, Lavender Brown pairs up with her best friend Parvati Patil to defeat the mysterious Anti-Gryffindor, but things, alas, are not as they seem...

Harry and Hermione must learn the subtle art of forgiveness as they hilariously face every parent’s worst nightmare… their headstrong young daughter is determined to marry the last person they ever expected. Father of the Bride meets Romeo & Juliet…HP Style!! Starts out in Harry’s point of view and alternates every other chapter. Funny and sweet!

The brave men and women of the Ministry of Magic work tirelessly each day to ensure the safety of the Wizarding world. Unfortunately, they never expected to encounter the likes of a dumpster-diving Remus Lupin.

Here for the first time ever is the collection of correspondence between Neville and Luna during the summer before their 7th/6th year at Hogwarts. Trevor is acting odd, Neville is confused, and Luna smells a conspiracy.

A little story starring the Sorting Hat. It's a bit diffrent, not something you see everyday. I've never seen it before anyway. Makes you smile! Please R&R! :-) Thanks

Ginny and Draco, a tentatively engaged couple, risk the notoriously couple-breaking task of... grocery shopping. Will their love survive? Will Ginny get all the groceries on her list? Will Draco stop torturing the checkout girl? Will their engagement survive? (Co-written with Danelle)

This fic is from the point of view of a book...which Hermione has been reading all the time! Needless to say, it gets a little ticked.

The beginning of 5th Year - the Weasley twins, aided by a cute transfer from the Salem Institute, wreak havoc on Hogwarts. What has gotten into Malfoy? Rated PG-13 for mild swearing.

What is this fascination I have with Draco? It’s not love, I can tell you that. I have no illusions of candlelight dinners or gentle caresses. I want him. I lust for him. He makes me incredibly horny. ``Will Harry get what he wants? Featuring Lusting!Harry and ConfusedButHandsy!Draco. Mention of leather pants :)

Spoof. An unfortunate Potions experiment makes Snape live through his many fanfiction incarnations. Dumbledore and Hermione watch.

Hogwarts students need money too. And Hogsmeade *is* the cool place to work.

One week throught the eyes of everyone. Books, clothing, shoes, and more objests go flying through the air!

Four unlikely people trapped in the dungeon? A perfect recipe for Truth or Dare! Much whining, snogging, and Snape acting like a teenage girl.

We know that events in the magical world can influence us Muggles. However, when there's something as big as the Football World Cup 2006, it also works the other way round...

Of all the possible reasons Harry could have to want Voldemort out of the way....

Even a Malfoy has to go there time and again. A place where both ``creativity and suffering reside. Some are struck with their greatest ideas there, ``while others have to endure the worst pain. But what applies to the Master of ``Malfoy Manor? Join Lucius in his possibly most private moments...

Summary: A SS/HG story of food, passion and surly house-elves. In which we take an immediate hard right turn off the beaten canon to Silly Alternative Universe Land. A pinch of parody. A dash of cliché. Toss in a few OC’s and stir well. Serve hot.

Delve into the life of the little-known matron of Malfoy Manor. It's a lot of work grooming Draco to be a Death Eater, you know.

A short, sweet, and derange ickle fic for laughs. Malfoy has a *WONDERFUL* idea... and Harry and Voldemort are (for once) in the same boat...

Missing scene from OotP. Professor McGonagall heads to the Gryffindor common room for a 2:00 a.m. scolding on the night of the Quidditch Cup win, but unwittingly winds up showing her true colors.

Ron did not enjoy Bill and Fleur's wedding. It made him feel sicker than that time when he accidentally mistook those aspirin for Acid Pops. So when a combination of animal lust and too much vodka leads him to find Harry and one of his siblings in his bed, his reaction isn't exactly understanding. Sexual humour and weird, slashy pairings afoot! Written before DH.

Draco Malfoy considers himself the ruling monarch of Slytherin. When a bizarre accident causes him to spend time with a Hufflepuff, will the Slytherin Prince decide to end his lonely reign?

The love child of me and a 2:30 a.m. sugar rush. Yes, I know this has been done to death, but I couldn't resist. Very short and to the point... Come see the softer side of Draco... that's right, the softer side.

Friends and loved ones are remembered both sides of the ethereal plane. This piece is set immediately after the end of Deathly Hallows so it contains a certain degree of spoiler information. This fic was written a decade ago. As such, the grammar and punctuation may not be up to my current standard. However, there are no current plans to rework my older fics.

Sirius Black starts to grow up, dyes his hair, and falls in love with a rock star. Unrequited Sirius Black/Stubby Boardman.

"Dear Harry," the letter had read, "I have exciting news! I’ve won a contest, and now we (Ron, Ginny, you and me) are going to America! I’ll explain more later, but now I’ve got to go and pack. You should, too. Our flight leaves tomorrow morning. Tell Ron all of this, and meet Ginny and me at Heathrow Airport (outside the International Terminal) at seven o’clock tomorrow!"...wow...Harry in America? What's gonna happen?

Harry Potter and Company take over the starring roles in Star Wars, Episode I.  And you thought Anakin couldn't act?  Prepare yourselves, Star Wars fans - The Phantom Menace will never be the same...

Percy Weasley has been demoted to being Fudge's Inspector in the Auror Headquarters. Which means that he must file daily reports on the Aurors. If that wasn't bad enough, Nymphadora Tonks spilled coffee on him on his first day and has seemed to taken to annoying him on a daily basis.

Professor McGonagall, Professor Sprout, and Madame Hooch decide that for certain damaging prejudices, a full frontal assault is in order.

It's Bill's stag night, but it's Harry and Ron that seem to be having the most fun. Features hungover Harry and plenty of flashbacks.

We know how the good guys are doing, but what is Voldemort and gang up to now that the war has been started and their cover's blown? An insider's look at the lives of the Death Eaters and Voldemort as they rage war!

Ron’s in love with Harry, Harry’s in love with Hermione, and nobody knows who Hermione’s in love with. Ron gets knocked out, Harry gets mad and probably kills Voldemort, and Hermione gets kissed and hurts Malfoy. Severely. Mild slash. It’s actually sort of a comedy about nothing in particular. Mild cursing.

Ginny takes after the twins and tends to pull the pranks now that they are gone. Who is singing in the shower? A very short one-shot!

Draco isn't just a Veela out to find his soul mate, he's a singer following his path to stardom. Pansy plays the perfect fag-hag, but she's getting distracted by a certain red haired Gryffindor... and Millicent needs to lighten up if she can ever woo the girl of her dreams. Harry/Draco slash, with Pansy/Ron and Millicent/Luna.

Unless you're a Slytherin, you probably despise Professor Snape, right? Well, ever wonder what it might be like to interview everyone's least favorite Hogwarts teacher? Drusilla Quigley for the National Inquirer is about to find out...

Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, a red-haired young man lived in a great castle where boys and girls learned magic. If only he could go to the Ball.... Think you know Cinderella? Think again. (Written pre-HBP and decidedly AU.)

Hermione's being blackmailed, Draco fancies Ron, Zabini's a smarmy pirate, and all’s fair in the dawn of a new civilization. It only ever came down to two things: sex and war.

Severus Snape needs a little advice. He finds out that sometimes it's just better not to ask the questions in the first place. SS/RL.

Join Lily, James, Sirius, Katz, and all our friends as they rid Hogwarts of evil purple stuffed bunnies, get in a food fight, and wake up the whole castle at 5 am. Trix is included, no charge.

Meg is just an ordinary girl visiting her ordinary relatives. Only she just happens to be staying in Number 3 Privet Drive. One unfortunate muggle's adventure as Harry Potter's neighbor during the summer between Harry's first and second year.

Harry is polishing his Firebolt.  Rated ‘R’ for sexual innuendo and references.

Voldemort has died of old age while waiting for book five to finally be published, and happiness abounds. Isn\\\'t that nice? Oh, and Harry has to give a speech at his funeral.

You shan't meddle with things you don't know!!! But tell that ``Fred and George... Today they'll form their very personal opinion towards Muggles ``and of course, it's someone else who suffers. :)

Harry did this spell, right? And it had unexpected results, right? And he woke up gay, right? Right.

It's Fear Factor... Hogwarts style. Four lucky sixth-year students have been chosen to participate in Dumbledore's adaptation of the Muggle reality show. What slimy, terrifying, disgusting, acts will they have to face? And don't think they don't get a reward. The prize: 50,000 Galleons. Who will it be?

Ron sings 'The Twelve Days of Christmas'... his own way! Plus: interjections from Hermione, Harry, and you can't forget Malfoy. Absolutely no plot, and very random, but who cares? Small reference to R/Hr.

A long-suffering Millicent gets to explain a few facts about life ``at Hogwarts to a disbelieving Pansy in their sixth year.

Wonderboy Harry devised a plot to pay Uncle Vernon back after Uncle Vernon insulted him and Draco. Crazy plotting and planning galore. Featuring Grownup Delinquent!Harry and SupportivePartner!Draco. And oh, the wonders of British Telecom (BT).

"Much Ado About Nothing" set at Hogwarts in 1979. Subterfuge, slash, and silliness.

Hermione's asked Harry and Ron to study with her in the library - on a Hogsmeade weekend! While in the library, Harry overhears Draco telling Crabbe and Goyle that he's going to knock Hermione, Harry, and Ron unconscious. Harry, Ron and Hermione end up fighting Malfoy and winning, and they decide to do a pretty embarrassing thing to now unconscious Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle. Malfoy gets asked out by Dean Thomas, Luna dances on Hermione's head, Malfoy insults Ron, and Ron eats waffles, all in this crazy story.

Draco learns the worth of Potions when one of his "extra-credit assignments" goes wrong. Slash; D/D.

Harry and Draco accidentally cast the Curse Performed by Mortal Enemies at the Same Time. Breaking it could be a challenge.

"Potter, watch where you're going!" ``"Me? I'm not the one who just ran into somebody!" ``"Yes you are, you oaf, you ran into me!" ``How did the two lovebirds get together when they hate each other? Good question....

Why is it whenever someone hears the name 'Seamus Finnigan', the first thing they come up with is, "Oh, he's gay, isn't he?" Has anyone EVER considered the idea that I might be heterosexual? (*Seamus is fed up with everyone. He's out to prove to fanfic authors and classmates alike that he is NOT gay! One-shot, humor, and slashyness have been used in the making of this fic.

A new MiB agent? With a snake-cane? And long hair? And a British accent? What devilry is this? Agent J has a sneaking suspicion about the fellow. Could he be bad? Can we say "DUH???"

It’s not easy to become a Beater. But Fred and George tried it! If they were successful on the first try or not, is the big question...

It's a rainy day at Hogwarts, and the Marauders have nothing to do, so they decide to do something about it. Will they get caught, or will they make it out alive?

It's Harry, Ron, and Hermione's final and seventh year of Hogwarts. The trio's hopes for a peaceful year are dashed when the new headmaster is announced: Gilderoy Lockhart! When Lockhart's mission to bring love to the wizarding world at Hogwarts with the help of his enthusiastic if not eye-pleasing partner gnome-turned-Cupid Wubi spectacularly backfires, it's up to Hermione and Sirius (returned from the Veil) to save the day. The problem: Under the influence of magically tainted arrows and a few drinks, Ron discovers he is madly in love with Lockhart, while Draco discovers his deep infatuation with Hermione. Meanwhile, Harry has the disturbing sensation that he is being stalked...

Er...this is a mostly pointless and semi-funny story. Harry is discovered to have the five o'clock shadow but, being an immature boy of seventeen, has no idea what that is. With a little help from Hermione, he learns to control and fix this problem.

Fred and George Weasley wanted to create havoc at Hogwarts, even though they already left. Four innocent students want cash, thrills, and vengeance. What do you get when you add them together? This fic.

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a SEVERUS! In order to obtain top performance from your Potions master, please follow the procedures detailed in this manual.

"Blink but a little and you will be transported to an alternate of this time and place." Harry accidentally inhales the fumes of a premature potion that causes him to be transported into numerous alternate worlds at the blink of his eyes. Brought to light are the issues of his "bigger picture".

Harry meets Salazar, Draco meets Godric, major irony (think Pet Shop Boys/Peeved!Patrician) ensues.

Harry is woken up by the voice of Draco Malfoy screaming from the washroom of the head boy dorm. Being the perfect boyfriend, he rolls over and goes back to sleep. Something, however, is obviously wrong with Draco, and Harry will be getting no more sleep.

Harry has a penfriend: three guesses who. A fun, funny, nonsensical fic. Read at your own risk.

Ginny Weasley has to learn how to put up with a couple of boobs, and we aren’t talking about Harry and Ron.

Cliche fic, in response to Bonibaru's prompt: 'Trapped with a werewolf on the eve of the full moon and must have sex because a werewolf will not attack its mate.'

Everybody has this special place where they aren’t disturbed and ``where they can let their thoughts make somersaults, even our favourite Potions ``Master. But it’s not his laboratory. It’s the restroom. Join Sevi in his possibly ``most private moments…

Have you ever wondered how Mary Sues are created? It is a horrible process, involving a mystical book. A book called "The Glamoire".

Harry Potter and Siruis Black have played a prank on Harry's girlfriend, Alex, and her best friend, Li. Not only that, but Harry has been playing pranks on Li all week. To get revenge, the girls have come up with the ultimate prank that even a Marauder can't beat. But will it work?

Recognizing a growing problem with his homicidal tendancies, Lord Voldemort attends his first Evil Overlords Anonymous meeting.

Voldemort finally has the weapon he needs. Now he's certain to win the war. So what's going to go wrong???

Due to an accident in Potions class, Neville Longbottom creates a dangerously powerful love potion, and Professor Snape is forced to rid the school of the potion. Unfortunately, he can't do anything about the effects. WARNING: Has been known to cause extreme cases of nasal carbonation, so don't drink anything while reading it. (Pairings: Snape/Pomfrey, Snape/McGonagall, Malfoy/Longbottom, and pretty much the rest of the school at one time or another...)

When sinister Grandmama Livia, the matriarch of the Snape family, decides to hold a Family Gathering at Hogwarts, Severus is understandably perturbed...especially when he discovers she's invited the mysterious, undead Sackville-Snapes. Things go from bad to worse when the trio, plus Neville, put in an appearance. 'Snapes...dozens of them...'

There's trouble at the Ministry, McGonagall's office, and at court. There's one thing  that nobody expects: the Spanish Inquisition! HP characters take the roles of the Monty Python classic, rewritten with rubber chickens and Draco and sure to make you laugh (even if it is just at the Monty Python stuff.)

When Hermione's parents go away for a week in the middle of summer, she has Ron and Harry (who was staying at the Weasleys') come over to keep her company. What she doesn't expect is to be bombarded with telephone calls from telemarketers who want her to become broke.