1,601 - 1,620 of 3,594 Stories
I was very bored & so were a bunch of my friends (the happy bunnys) so we wrote this story! Very funny yet a bit stupid so brace yourself 'cause this is what really happened over Christmas Break!!!
Doing it Right by ljp
01/12/2003Hermione decides she needs a new 'do. Or, what does Snape do on his summers off?
Open Flame by Winged Dragon
09/15/2002James asks Lily to the Ball. It was supposed to be an Astronomy Tower story but I just couldn't make it fluffy, hard as I tried. It's not really sweet and, no, the title has nothing to do with emotions.
Harry Potter, Broadway Style! Guys and Dolls by azriona
04/26/2003Hogwarts, 50 years ago. Tom Riddle and Rubeus Hagrid are on missions to find pets, and Olive Hornby and Myrtle Biney are on a mission to find boyfriends. A parody of the musical Guys and Dolls. Link to music included!
The Epitome of Evil by Adept Starsong
03/20/2004Harry Potter is in his seventh-year, and in a fit of drunkeness, he starts wondering if Voldemort really is the embodiment of all Wizarding evil...
Unrequited Love by Nokomis
10/10/2003Harry Potter suddenly falls madly in love with sex god Draco Malfoy.
The Red Room of Insanity by Katz Potter
08/04/2002A fic written for a challenge created by myself and Lily Vance. Found inside are peanut butter Bertie Bott's Every Flavore Beans, maroon leather pants, and fun for all, including Pepsi and popcorn!
Last Names by StealthySlytherin
07/25/2003The seventh years have a little too much fun a their graduation party... H/D SLASH
The Adventures of Larry Porter by Oldoverholt
03/14/2007Unknown to many, Harry Potter had another cousin. His name is Larry Porter. He's not too sure he wants to go to Hogwarts, but then the law closes in and it may be his only way to avoid jail.
So Your Worst Enemy Wants To Date a Hufflepuff by reila
11/02/2003Harry is in love, Snape is fanonically abused, Zacharias is being followed by Justin Finch-Fletchley, Hermione is compiling a ten-step program and Draco is making voodoo dolls. It's Harry/Draco/Zacharias... only not really.
Ever wonder where Lupin heard about the 'Waddiwasi' spell he used on Peeves in PoA? Wonder no more, here's the story behind it.
Don't Write Your Will Yet by Carfiniel
04/23/2007Remus and Severus at the last battle.
In the Staff Room On Another Day by Kt.M.M.
01/12/2004The Tri-Wizard Tournament is on, the new DADA teacher is crazier than ever, and McGonagall is getting sick of Snape in what rates as one of the most badly behaved years in his teaching career. How can all of this madness be present in one staff room without someone getting KILLED? CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!!! is what the DADA teacher would say, but to the rest of us, that doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Anyway, read to find out for yourself.
Smirking with the Secret by L. K. Weasley
07/03/2003Mrs. Weasley has a secret that she can never let anyone learn about. It would be the death of her and her dreams. Plus with crazy Lockhart cook book names, you can't go wrong reading this!
A Cat Called Wesley by Trillian Black
06/05/2003For reasons to be disclosed here Crookshanks is now to be called Wesley, Ron is no longer allowed in the girl's dormitories EVER and the inccident with Harry and the Underwear dance will never be discussed again.
Truth or Snog by TheSucreQuill
06/15/2004Harry needs to kiss a girl. Ron needs to tell Hermione how he feels. Hermione needs to be with Ron. Lavender enjoys snogging random people. Thus, Harry invented a rather fun game for them to play.
The Remains of the Nimbus2000 Talk Back by METMA Mandy
09/28/2001From the POV of the Nimbus2000...after being destroyed by the Whomping Willow, he has a few quarrels with Harry!
The Marauders Go Golfing by Gred Weasley
08/08/2004The Marauders are having a pretty boring day during the summer when James announces his parents have recently acquired something called a "television." They watch some, discover golf, and chaos ensues.
Bringing Up Tommy Riddle by Auror_Lib
06/01/2003Soon after GoF, Voldemort returns to the Orphanage where he grew up, only to rediscover a powerful force even greater than himself.``Probably not what you think, but plenty of laughs! :)
Dude, Where's My Halloween Rubber Stamp? by AmethystPhoenix
01/30/2004What everyone told Harry about the Death Eaters is not completely true. In fact, it's completely incorrect. What do the Death Eaters do at Headquarters, anyway? Plot? Torture? Kill? Nah, well, maybe torture. But not in the way everyone thinks. Join Lucius Malfoy for a typical Death Eater evening. Includes singing!Draco, Voldemort with an afro, and more! Be very afraid...
Dark Lord of the Dance by ReelLifer and Severa Sey
02/28/2003Wry!Harry, Mix-Master DJ Snape (yo), and Disco King!Voldemort all meet in the Forbidden Forest and get down with their bad selves. Also features gratuitous bird snogging and Lucius Malfoy's "Schnooglekins".
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by K.A. Flower
10/28/2002Neville Longbottom, school teacher for Hogsmeade and Sleepy Hollow, comes into very close contact with a legend late one Halloween night.
Sick by Fairytale5000
11/02/2003Harry Potter is sick in bed! Who better to cheer him up than his once-arch-nemesis-now-lover, Draco Malfoy?! Huge fluffies alert! H/D--Slash!
The Diary of Blaise Zabini (Girl Wonder) by Miceala Rose
08/04/2004Meet Blaise Zabini. A first-year Slytherin with anger management issues and an obssesion with cartoons and toaster ovens who curses more than a sailor.
Eudice Eusyram: The Multi-Chapter Fic by I Smell Rates
10/22/2006Professor Eudice Eusyram returns, after over a year in limbo, to combat a new and greater threat then ever before!
Cars, Strange People And Dead Ends by JohnnyBrown
07/02/2003It's the summer holiday and Hermione's got a brilliant idea. Ron and Harry are completely against it but in the end, seem to be forced to go along with it.
Acceptance by Pink Sugar Demon
01/29/2003Draco ponders how his point of view on love, girls, and cupcakes has changed since personally admitting his feelings for Harry.
Draco's Diary by Slytherin_Siaka
07/31/2003What are Draco's deepest and darkest secrets? His agony over missing hairspray, and being liked by every girl in Hogwarts are just a few examples of what he rambles about in this one entry in his diary.
Interview With Rubeus Hagrid by Willow von Weasel
12/20/2002Drusilla Quigley returns, taking Snape's advice, to interview Hagrid. But he's not really a loose-lipped twit... Er... is he?
The Question Game by Crikkita
11/14/2004Boredom drives Harry and Ron to playing games. But when they start asking questions, will they be ready for the answers?
Harry Potter and Bellatrix Lestrange's Housewarming Party for LV Gone Wrong by faerielily
06/17/2004Sequel to 'Bellatrix Lestrange and the Housewarming Party Gone Wrong'. Same story, same madness. Harry's PoV. Read 'Bellatrix Lestrange and the Housewarming Party Gone Wrong' first. Only then will this story (almost) make sense (a little).
Deliberate Insanity by LadyCulebra
01/09/2004When Draco Malfoy is bored, it is a very dangerous thing...
Gone With the Wand by Winged Dragon
07/10/2002Look at the title and take a wild guess. Though...it's not exactly what you think.
Detention: The Story by Diamond
12/21/2003Many people get detention at Hogwarts, in fact more then you might think. This story is based off of detention lines from FA students who have had to spend time with Snape, or Umbridge. If you've ever been to Scribbles in History of Magic, you've seen them around causing mayham and mischief.
Code Red... Or Something by 001Polgara
04/25/2005The one thing every generation of Weasleys thought impossible, the one thing none had ever achieved, the one thing that will change one boy's life forever, has happened, and Ron will never be the same again....
Physical Education by Adrian Tullberg
12/14/2005Hogwarts gets a Physical Education teacher. Crossover.
She's With Me by Luciana
08/08/2004Snape is called to a Death Eater meeting only to find that he must, once again, play the hero.
Green's the Color of Spring by Dana A
05/11/2006It had been going like that for quite a while, when Remus sighed. "It's because you're a dog, isn't it?" ...Sirius gets excited by frogspawn.
Harry and Ron, alone in their train compartment on the way to Hogwarts, get to discussing their relationships with their girlfriends and with one another. Touching divulgences, regrettable impulses, and awkward silences ensue. Pity one of them doesn't fancy guys.
Not Your Average Girl . . . by Kit Turner
11/15/2005A series of one-shots featuring pre-Hogwarts Hermione, showing how the most clever witch of her year first knew she wasn't exactly your average girl.
A New Specimen for Hagrid by Essayel
04/03/2003Hagrid's lessons are awful! He needs help to make them more exciting. Sirius was the last person he should have approached for a bright idea.
The Bludgers Of life by El Squiddo
04/06/2002We promise you thrills, chills, Voldemort in a dress, and a totally Unexpected Plot Twist, now just read the fic, and review please. Thank you!
Hairy Pooper and the Kidney Stone by Jonathan P. Arlington
11/04/2003First chapter of the parody book, Hairy Pooper and the Kidney Stone, based on the first Harry Potter installment.
A Noble Quest for an Ornery Doorstop by Macabre Sinclair
07/25/2004Blaise Zabini is on a Quest. Never mind that he isn't exactly aware of what this Quest may consist of (although it's suspected that it involves at least one rather conspicuous rhinoceros), but - nonetheless - he must Persevere until he gives evil a good thwack in the shoulder blades and rescues his Damsel in Distress.
Together Again by Obi-Zahn Kenobi
06/18/2003Harry gets a big shock at the end of the Tri-Wizard Tournament. He discovers new information about Hogwarts and its Founders...
Harry's Dream by Petra Arkanian
08/20/2002Harry has a strange dream in which eight American girls disrupt ``the quiet of the Gryffindor boy's room.
A Christmas Party by Water Goddess
12/19/2006It is the first Christmas since the War, and Draco is determined to not enjoy it, but one obstacle continues to stand in the way of his unhappiness: Hermione Granger.
Reefer Madness by Xochiquetzl
07/31/2004Marauders and marijuana. Innuendo. Wacky verbal hijinx (and a weensy bit of angst). Even members of other houses are oddly friendly under the influence! (Sirius/Remus preslash, Sirius/James flirting.)
Mr. Happy Pig Loves You, Harry by Rainhawke
08/04/2005Who'd have ever thought that the night Voldemort came to murder Harry, Lily and James could have been so. . . . amusing? Find out what really happened on that tragic and very silly night, and what spell Lily actually used to save her infant son.
The Telltale Parchment by Mojdeh
07/18/2004Reading the notes that the Marauders pass during History of Magic class may tell you a thing or two about their mysterious ways.... (Please proceed with caution.)
Sharpening the Savage Quill by Malecrit
02/08/2003Rita Skeeter once mentioned in an article that Love Potions are banned at Hogwarts. So how exactly did that rule come into existence? Join Rita and her best friend, Gilderoy Lockhart, as students in the spring of 1967, and you'll find out.
An Annoyingly Childish Spider-Bat Fic by Spider-Bat
03/29/2005After Harry read his MAD mag, he gives Ron a Lunchable. Superheroes around America hear of the Lunchables and come to get one. What none of them knows is that Emma Watson has been kidnapped by Voldemort.
The Story Behind Advice by Xsenia
02/02/2006Mad Eye once told Harry, don't put your wand in your back pocket, greater wizards have lost their buttocks because of it. Advice such as this always has a story to back it up. This is that story.
An Exclusive Interview by Miranda Shadowind
06/14/2005Post-OoP. Up to her old tricks again, Rita Skeeter attempts to interview Fred and George about their famous escape from school. Instead, she gets a scandal that will rock the ministry while the twins get revenge.
Harry/Draco ficlet. Draco takes Harry's glasses, and Harry will do anything to get them back... Slash.
Oh That Lovely Creature That Is Destiny by Nikalee
04/03/2003A ridiculous parody of a Harry/Hermione romance.
Denial by Pink Sugar Demon
01/23/2003Draco Malfoy expounds on life, and about how much his is certainly, absolutely, DEFINITELY not centered around his arch-nemesis.
Never Enough Chocolate by deenas
01/16/2007It's Arthur's birthday and Molly runs out of sugar. Small children and an eight-year-old in charge leads to a not-so-clean kitchen.
Ghouls and Bollywoggles by michelle_31a
09/09/2004Hermione finds herself having to share Ginny's room with none other than Luna Lovegood. An encounter with one of the Burrow's more frightening residents ensures that forty winks will be hard to come by.
Always Carry Earmuffs by Lily Granger
04/11/2005(Addition to the "Stuck in a Room with You" series.) Although everyone is on the verge of a nervous breakdown, the one with the earmuffs will prevail! Also featuring a house made of chocolate.
Harry drinks a potion that sends him to an alternate universe where Seamus has a crush on a Ravenclaw, and Harry has a crush on Seamus. Also prominently featured in the alternate universe is Draco vs. Voldemort. Harry wakes up in his universe brimming with ideas about how to kill Voldemort… and an insane crush.````Very random. Also, will probably be very AU.
Professor's Notes--The Fidelius Charm by Chibi_Squirt
08/04/2002A bit of Professor Flitwick's lecture to his Seventh Year Ravenclaw class on Fidelius Charms. I love working out how magic works, and though it's not easy in this case, it's still fun; this is just a bit of magical theory.
Smoke Three Joints by Peeler
02/20/2003Yes, your drug-addled eyes saw right - it's a sequel to that most ubiquitous of franchises, "Smoke Two Joints". In this extended sequel- wait, make that threequel, you'll see Draco and Hermione hot-box the Leaky Cauldron's restroom, Fred and George go on a road trip, and Harry practically destroy Number 4 Privet Drive with a party involving copious amounts of weed and alcohol. Guest appearences by The Bitchy Policewoman, Lord V. & His New Monikers, Lucius M., Lucius' cane, and its new partner, the Slytherin Pimp Car. Thrill to the covert yet noisy guest bedroom liasons! Try to find Draco's pants! Question the unruly spellings! Wonder how the hell Michael Jackson got involved in it all! Light it up, smoke it up, inhale, exhale, and read on!
"POOR NEVILLE!" by bapforlife
08/14/2003What has Neville done? Where is Snape? Why is everybody color-coded? Let's all say it together, "POOR NEVILLE!"
A Summer Wasting by Spectacles
07/29/2006They are sleeping outside. Even though Remus protested quite fervently earlier, he does admit that it is awful nice to sleep out here now, under the stars and the under a canopy of leafy branches that trick him into thinking he is in a rainforest. A bird in the distance sounds like a toucan and Remus pretends that this place is a tropical paradise, complete with a wild river (the still pond) and wild animals (James, Sirius, and Peter).
Even wizards get hay fever. Some get it really bad. And some have to pick the night before the Quidditch final to come completely apart with it. A sixth-year Gryffindor Chaser is not amused. Pure plotless sick puppy fluff. Mild hints of slash (SB/RL).
Sleeping Beauty by Phoenix Draconis
07/03/2006"Know this, when the princess finally turns sixteen, she will die. And I'm not giving you any more details just so you won't be able to find a counter for it!" Great. Now what do we do?
Harry Potter and the Awful Parody by Guenevere Andromeda
09/27/2002If fan fiction authors could rule the Harry Potter world, there'd be a lot of odd stuff going on. Welcome to the pilot episode of: ::start main theme:: The Harry Potter Parody Zone.
The Drunken Diary by The Dork Lord
01/12/2005Remus is using a Magic Dictation Quill to make an entry in his diary. As he remembers the good old days, he resorts to the bottle to help him feel better. Every word he says is recorded.
Professor, I Think He's Possessed by Padfoot's Girl
05/14/2003They all saw Sirius on the floor. He was writhing, twisting, and convoluting on the ground. "Professor!" James yelled. "I think Sirius is the one possessed by Satan!" A short little one-shot about Sirius pretending to be possessed. There are some opportunities in life that you just can't pass up.
Christmas on the Closed Ward Continued by Lady Caeris
04/24/2004We know that in "Christmas on the Closed Ward" in Order of the Phoenix, everybody goes to visit Mr. Weasley on Christmas Day, but what happens when they get back to Grimmauld Place? I'll tell you what. Mayhem happens.
Revenge is So Sweet by DaniheartsRupert
07/30/2007Fred and George are on a mission: To get their sister Ginny to stop dating the Slytherin Draco Malfoy. From hair cutting to lip gloss, the two redheads will stop at nothing to get them apart. All the while, Harry has a not-so-secret secret, Hermione and Ron argue(surprise surprise!), and it's all around madness in the castle! Will the twins succeed or will Ginny retaliate? AU, one-shot, and BEFORE Deathly Hallows. Also, there's a little slash, but it's not graphic and it's only mentioned.
When Harry Left Dursley... by Spamseller Fenderson
12/22/2005Harry Potter awakes to leave the Dursleys on his 17th Birthday. The humor is a little dry and dark, but he leaves, presenting them with a gift. Slightly off canon at the end, but it is my first ever fanfic and I am proud! Rated PG-13 by author for insults and cruelty.
Some excerpts: Nelly (the Loch Ness Monster) shook her head at the man with the fluffy pink bathrobe, sitting across from her at the table, she still in a daze. Just two weeks ago this man had come to her lake, disturbing her peace, trying to enlist her help in his plans for world domination, and now they were at a tea party, talking about pink lace and weddings. By this time Harry, along with his girlfriend Ginny, and their friends, Ron and Hermione, left; supposedly back to their home in Fluffville where they owned an (again, pink) house made of fluff. They did not plan on attending the wedding, but then again, who could resist the charms and wiles (feminine or otherwise) of ‘Uncle Voldie’?
The Infinite Theatre by Nymphadora Hope
04/29/2004Lily and the Marauders are out of Hogwarts, living on their own. James and Lily are engaged, but not married, and they live in Godric's Hollow. ``When a legitimate theatre opens in town, presenting the play Les Miserables, Lily is ecstatic and encourages the boys to``audition with her. However, there turn out to be more than wholesome muggle-borns who are interested in this project. Rated R for some bad words our darling ickle Sirius couldn't keep to himself! (Bad dog!)
Interruptions by Emmablk1
05/25/2004Have you ever wondered what exactly the Marauders did while in class? Why, they wrote notes, of course! Here and now you can read the REAL notes from all four marauders with a special quest appearance from Lily Evans (soon to be Potter)! JP/LE, SB/OC, RL/OC, PP/please; you really think I'd give HIM someone to love?
Sequel to "Seamus Finnigan and the Search for a Soulmate." Harry's been dumped. But luckily his Gryffindor friends have a few ideas to get his girl back. Wait, did I say "luckily"?
The Magical Maiden by Halebop Borielas
07/17/2002All those times they thought Hermione was at the library, she was actually donning a pink leotard and mask as a crime-fighting diva! Justice is served to Cho Chang and Mary Sue (read if you hate both of them).
Appassionata by Dommichan
12/04/2002Seamus is having problems with his love-life. Ginny takes pity on him. When he tries an unconventional route to fix things... well... we'll just say that no good can come of this.
Harry Potter and the Leprechauns of Terror by Allison Dansbroom
12/27/2002The wizarding world is no longer safe... The Dark Lord has convinced the Leprechauns to join his side. Harry finds out that they are raping and murdering innocent girls. What can he do to save the world once again? Or will it be someone other than Harry that will save the day? You'll be horrified, you'll be sad, and then--at long last--you'll laugh hysterically.
Quid Quid Latine by Elucreh
01/26/2004Rowena and Helga discuss the school's motto and have some laughs. WARNING: Contains male-bashing.
Insert Witty Title Here by ThePhantomRoarer
11/09/2005What happens when Voldemort rediscovers love? This fic tells the story as Voldemort struggles with various things such as apologies, sighing, making bacon, and most importantly, what to put inside his goody bags.
Best in Show by Ariana Rookwood
09/12/2004Sirius has an amusing idea.
McGonagall's Secret by Jenny_Black and Casey
08/23/2002McGonagall finds a new kind of music to get into. She is rapping going down the corridor when Harry, Ron and Hermione are in the same corridor. Oh no!
Macavity, the Mystery Cat by GryffindorTower
09/30/2002Mortie Wimsey, a descendant of famous Lord Peter Wimsey, a second-year Gryffindor, once, strolling along the Lake on Sunday, hears a hideous yell...
The Day Petunia Went Mad by Luna Howl
11/21/2002Did you ever wonder what made Petunia hate Lily so much? Could``it be because of... The Marauders?! A tale of what happened when Petunia``finally had enough. Takes place during their first year, at Thanksgiving break.``And yes, I know Europeans don't celebrate Thanksgiving, but I really don't care.
Bachelorette by itarilde
05/16/2004Harry and some boys are going to live twenty days in a castle, competing in a bachelorette-competition, with Hermione as the prize! She'll ditch one a day until there's only one left. But that's not all what happens: butterbeer parties, stupid tasks, betting, body transparation and ugly sofas comes up all the time. As if that’s not enough, Harry has to share a bed with Percy!
Odor Away by METMA Mandy
09/28/2001Subtitled "The Poor Sneakoscope That Died." Anyway, it's from the point of view of the Sneakascope that was imprisoned in Uncle Vernon's sock!
Ron's Birthday Wish by Vanyaria Darkshadow
12/20/2003It's Ron's 21st birthday - will he get what he really wants? The answer is no. But what happens when someone gives Harry firewhiskey? And what happens when Fred and George find a blender? ``Starring Kleptomaniac!Ron, Drunk!Harry, Desperate!Ginny, and lots of firewhiskey...
SuperSeme!Delinquent!Harry and UltraUke!Draco in an innuendo laden piece. Can't tell you what's going on or it will give away the story.
Freaky Friday by Megz
01/02/2004On Friday 27th of December, Ron and Hermione find themselves in a very strange situation - they are each other!
The Repercussions of Having Bad Hygiene by Rynne
11/11/2003Sirius and Severus first meet at the tender age of eight... and the results aren't pretty. Now it's up to Regulus, an excitable seven-year-old, to convince a suspicious Severus that not everyone in his family is like Sirius. The Black brothers and Snape as children... aww, aren't they cute?
Transportation by Carmen Black
01/27/2008“Isn’t it fabulous, Molly?†Arthur chatted, pulling several more leaflets from his inside pocket. “Look, we can fly to Cairo on an airplane!â€
Come Again? by fbline
09/12/2004Part three of the series started in "Maybe a Couple Times, to Be Sure." Last we visited the boys, Harry was off to...do his duty. It's now a year later, and Hermione and Ron have welcomed a baby boy into their family. Harry thinks that things will now go back to normal, but will he get his wish?
The Finest Musicians Hogsmeade Never Heard by Agatha S
06/09/2005Padfoot suggests to Moony, Wormtail and Prongs that they should form a band and perform at The Three Broomsticks. Based on the Grimm brothers' fairy tale "The Bremen Town Musicians."
A Christmas Gift by l xFaTaLx l
07/18/2004Ginny needs a job, and she finds a good one too, but what happens when her boss turns out to be Draco Malfoy? Read through Ginny's journal entries and see how her life unfolds. One-shot!
Love Potion #? by T.R. Potter
10/18/2003This is a Harry Potter/Degrassi crossover. I thought it might be kinda fun (shrug). There's really no plot. I'm just making it up as I go along.
This One's For You by Soul of Draco
09/12/2004Harry has gone a bit mad after Draco's disappearance. But when he goes to talk to Bill about his obsession, he finds he's not the only insane one around.
Gregory Goyle and the Perils of Pedantry by Fabio P. Barbieri
12/23/2003What happens when the miserable little rat of pedantry starts to interfere with real work? Read, and reflect...