Remmy on a Stick!

"Remmy on a Stick!"

That sounds yummy, does it not? Pfft! Remmy is not yummy, but he might think you are yummy. Oh yes, Remmy gets hungry a lot. A lot, a lot!

Anyhow, I know this girl; she told me that Remmy was so yummy he should be called Remmy on a Stick! Little does she know that Moony--who is Remmy--would not fit on a stick. Nope!

I am sure he could try; I bet he would, too! Well, if I gave him enough Galleons. Perhaps a Knut and several Sickles. Or perhaps the other way around.

Oh, look! There's that girl!

"Hey, Savannah?"

Hmm... She looks irked that I bothered her. I learned that word today, 'irked'. It means perturbed--whatever that means. Anyway...

"Yes, Siri?"

"Sirius," I corrected her. For some reason, people keep forgetting the 'us' at the end of my name.

"Savannah, do you still think Moony is yummy enough to be on a stick?"

Why is she laughing? Did I say something funny? I really did not mean it!

"Remmy is yummy enough to be on dirt for all I care."

Dirt? You know, I think Remmy and I both have eaten dirt. It is not so yummy when you are not Padfoot, but when you are him, that dirt tasted right good, it did!

"Maybe not so much on dirt," I say. "Mayhap something that isn't so tasty. Would you still think Remmy was yummy if he was a Cockroach Cluster?"

"Absolutely!"

"A bogie flavoured Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Bean?"

"Even a vomit flavoured one."

Now, I had to think about this. This was drastic! Even a vomit flavoured one.

"Are you sure?" I inquired of her. I had to confirm it, you know!

"Positively and absolutely."

I nodded my head once at her and then thumped my chin. "Right then. So--ah--are you quite sure a bogie flavoured one? They really are not so yummy."

I really don't understand why she would be laughing again. I personally don't see this as a laughing matter.

"Alright now, I would like for you to listen. Because I think Remmy is so yummy, I'll always think he'll be yummy. Especially Remmy on a Stick!"

Ponder, ponder. I'm pondering this situation. Hmm... Does Remmy think he's yummy on a stick? Oh lookie! It's Lilykins! Lily will know what to say, and do, and think!

"Lily!"

I think that she's ~fuzzy~. Not *fuzzy* but ~fuzzy~! I know that she gives people that fuzzy feeling. That's how she became ~fuzzy~!

"Padfoot," she said to me. She didn't sound very happy, but she knows our secret! It might be because she has Super Fuzzy Powers! Or because she snogs really well and Jamesie told her. Or perhaps I told her?

"Sirius!"

"Hmm?" I wondered dreamily. Fuzzy...

"You called me over here! Remember?" she asked pointedly while waving her arms in a windmill above her head. I wonder why she's doing that. Is she exercising? What a really weird Muggle way to exercise.

Savannah was laughing again. Why must this girl laugh so much? Is she a bit wonky in the head? I have no idea. She just laughs, like a hyena. Laughing, laughing, and laughing some more.

"Yes, I suppose I did. Lily, do you think Remmy on a stick is yummy?" I asked her calmly. At least some people can refrain from laughing for three seconds at a time.

Lily looked a bit confused, most likely because I asked her that question about Remus. I mean, I would be confused if someone asked me if I like Remus on a stick. I mean, personally, I don't think Remmy would really fit, but that's just me. Moony doesn't really, I mean... I don't know! I can't honestly see him sitting on top of a stick. Besides, that would hurt! BUT! Lily and Savannah have shared a look, but Savannah doesn't have Super Fuzzy Powers!

"Honestly, I think Jamesie on a Stick is much yummier. Though, I have to admit, I wouldn't object to a bit of some Remmy on a stick."

Really? Jamesie on a stick? Now, that's plain disgusting! Remmy is full of Honeyduke's Chocolate. He just may be part chocolate!

"Are you sure? I mean, do you know what Jamesie does? He probably eats his own bogies!" I protested to her. I noticed she wouldn't object to some Remus on a stick, though. I wonder what she would think about me on a stick.

"Just the way I like it!" Lily told me, successfully snapping me out of sitting on a stick. How could such a sensible girl want someone else's bogies?

"That's just plain disgusting, that is!"

Now she and Savannah were laughing! It's a conspiracy. I really don't think this Savannah girl should be laughing. She sounds like one of those Muggle animals. The one on the kart-toons that Lily lets me watch.

"Fine! Chuckle as you will, I don't care. I'm going to get to the bottom of this!"

I turned around to go up the stairs and I tripped. It really doesn't help that I'm naturally clumsy, but it also doesn't help that someone put the couch right here. I mean, honestly, why would anyone want a couch right here? Now everyone in the common room's laughing at me! From the tips of my ears down was red. Or from the tips of my toes on up was red, it's really a personal view.

"Sirius, are you all right?" Lily asked me, genuine concern in her voice. I'll show her! She put that damn couch there, the fiendish woman!

I rolled over onto my back and stared up at her. "A kiss'll make it better," I told her in my best come-hither voice.

Savannah was still laughing; she sounds like a floo-clogged chimney. Lily rolled her eyes and blew me a kiss.

"Ah, thy fair lady holds the key to my heart!" I said as I clutched my chest and fluttered my eyes. I also saw how to do this on the same box where I watched the kart-toons. It was this Muggle who had long hair like mine and he spoke like how Lancelot did in that book. I don't know, it was supposed to make girls fall or something.

"Your 'fair lady' better not be my girl," Prongs said to me as he walked down the stairs. He always ruins the fun!

"Jamesie! Did you know that Lilykins wanted you on a stick?" I proclaimed as I got up from the floor.

I watched James raise his eyebrows behind his wire-framed glasses. Those glasses looked like they were made out of pewter. I wonder if they're heavy, but pewter isn't wire! Maybe they're painted pewter!

"Siri--"

"US!" I corrected automatically.

"Are you even listening to me?" James asked.

"Well--no, not really. Were you saying something?"

I watched Jamesie groan, and then he took off his glasses and cleaned them. I don't know why, I didn't sneeze on them. Perhaps that's a fetish he has.

"Siri--" "US!" "I was telling you to stop meddling. If you didn't know already, Lily and I are dating; Savannah has a crush on Remmy--"

"HEY!" Savannah protested.

"And you need a girlfriend!"

You know, I didn't realize James could be so philosophical!

"Jamesie, no wonder you do so well in Divination!"

I watched again as Jamesie groaned and wiped his glasses. That must be a very bad habit. Maybe Lily wipes his glasses for him.

"Sirius, we'll be seeing you," Savannah said between laughs. She laughs a lot and it's annoying. YOU ARE ANNOYING, YOU FLOO-CLOGGED CHIMNEY!

"Hey! You like Remmy!" I said in revelation after I yelled at her in my head. Huh, go figure. So! That's why she said that there should be Remmy on a Stick! No wonder!

She groaned and took Jamesie's glasses and cleaned them. HA! Jamesie just yanked them away from her!

"Yes, Padfoot, we're leaving."

I wave to them absently. Jamesie was right; I needed a good woman--er--a girl who is a friend.

"Oops, 'scuse me!" This girl just apologized to me because she bumped into me. She looks a bit familiar, like a cat. Get it? A familiar? No? Oh well. Anyway, I am standing in the middle of the common room next to this awkwardly placed couch.

"It's all right, Lucia!" I told her. She chuckled, and before I could go upstairs, she handed me a note.

"Here, Sirius. Sorry about bumping into you."

Hmm? Oh! "Oh, no problem." I glanced down at the note, and then I waved a farewell. I walked to the dormitory. Yeesh! Our room is a mess! Well, Jamesie's, Petey's, and my side. Remmy is fairly clean. Maybe that's why Savannah liked him on a stick.

What a loon! Moony's on the bed, catching up on homework!

"Moony?"

"Padfoot."

"What're you doing?"

"Homework."

"No! Which class?"

"You don't have this class."

"Moony!" I said as I drug out his nickname.

"Ancient Runes."

"Oh." I lost interest now. No point in talking--oh wait!

"Remmy on a Stick!"

I looked at Remmy, and he's staring at me from his position on the bed.

"Care to repeat that?"

"Remmy on a Stick!"

"One question: Why?"

"Because Savannah said that you were yummy, and should be called Remmy on a Stick."

I almost chuckled as the usually calm Remmy dropped his book. Even though he was disgruntled for that bit, he simmered down.

"Pray tell, how do you know this, albeit, it's very good information," he said, his voice cheerful.

"I already told you! Savannah told me!"

"No--never mind. No point in arguing." He picked up his book. Then, a cherubic looking boy walked in. Cherubic because that's why James' Mum says about him, but I'm not all that sure what cherubic means. Like a cube?

"Hey, lads! What'd I miss?"

"Remmy on a Stick!" I told Peter happily. He raised his eyebrows and looked at Remmy for an answer.

"What's this nutter talking about?"

"No clue. Eh, well, I'll be going. Got to do a bit of, uh, reading!" Remmy said hurriedly. He closed his book and briskly walked out of the dormitory.

Peter arched a brow. "What's that all about?"

"Savannah likes Remmy," I informed him.

"Really?" Peter asked, curiously. Petey walked over to Remmy's bed. He surveyed the made bed, then he reached under Remus' pillow. I gasped! Wormtail just pulled out a picture of Savannah!

"How'd you know?" I asked in awe.

"The corner was sticking out. You know that whole 'on a stick' thing? It must be going around with the girls, because at the library, Lily was telling James that. Then Marcy, from Hufflepuff, called me Petey on a stick. I was just knocking you guys earlier when I asked what was going on. Lily and James asked me to come here and bug you and Remmy."

I laughed as Petey laughed, but my laugh seemed hollow. You know, like a hollow log or something. Anyway, Petey walked over to my bed, and he picked up my note from Lucia. He read it out loud; I'm not sure to my enjoyment, surprise, or embarrassment.

"Dear Siri(us),

There's been an epidemic lately. We girls have been saying guys look good, even on a stick. So, we've been spreading the word around. Anywhoo...

I think you're yummier than Jamesie on a Stick, Petey on a Stick, or even Remmy on a Stick. No, you're so yummy; you're Siri on a Stick!

XOXO,

Lucia"

Petey started laughing and then he winked at me. I could only grin. Lucia said I was yummy enough to be on a stick! And I don't even mind that she called me Siri!