Sirius Plays a Prank

"Now," said Sirius Black, Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, "our next unit will be on inanimate magical objects. To begin this unit I'd like to have each of you do a mini-presentation on a magical object. It can be an object good or evil. It can be one you've heard of, one you've had personal experience with, or one you just select randomly from The Dictionary of Magical Objects in the library. I want you to include as much information as you feel necessary to educate your peers on the subject. The name of the object, person who made it, year it was made, what it does, how it was made et cetera. I also want a list of your sources, what books you used, personal interviews, if any, so I can make sure it actually exists, because some of you will certainly find an object that I have never heard of. It is due next class."

There was a general groan from the seventh years.

"Oh, don't give me that. I'm not expecting anything big. You have plenty of time. Dismissed," Sirius said as the bell rang.

The Gryffindors and Ravenclaws gathered their things together to leave. Sirius could just overhear the end of a conversation between the Weasley Twins.

"I dare you, go ahead, use it! I'm not going to. I dare you."

"You're on!"

The next Defense Against the Dark Arts class opened with Lee Jordan's presentation on Mad-Eye Moody's magical eye. There were various other magical objects presented including everything from a Remembrall, to the Sorting Hat, to Grindelwald's Oracle Stone. The Weasley twins were last.

George got up. "The object I chose is the most vile, evil one I have ever heard of. The Diary of Tom Riddle. Most of you have probably never heard of it. But I guarantee that it has affected you. In 1942 a young dark wizard from Slytherin house decided that he would store his memories and some of his discoveries he had made about Hogwarts in his unused diary. What he did was feed his knowledge into it and enough magic to make it 'live.' All it needed was a soul to take over. The knowledge it contained was how to open the Chamber of Secrets. Tom Riddle was responsible for the attacks that year and for the death of one student, Myrtle Tumble, now known as Moaning Myrtle. The diary contained the knowledge of how to open the Chamber of Secrets, where the entrance was, what lay inside, how to control the monster and so on. He decided to stop attacking the students so the school could stay open and framed another student for what happened. But he didn't want his work to be lost so he created the diary. That diary was used to re-open the Chamber in 1992, our fourth year, and continue the work he had started. The diary took over the soul of a student here at Hogwarts. The diary was also destroyed that year because, as most of you know, Harry Potter discovered the perpetrator, he also destroyed the diary. Any questions?"

Some kids raised their hands.

"How did Riddle make the diary?" asked a Ravenclaw girl.

"I don't know. Neither did Professor Dumbledore, whom I interviewed. He said he knew the basic idea but that he wasn't sure of exactly how Riddle did it."

"Was Riddle ever punished?" Lee Jordan asked.

"Not that I'm aware of. Only Dumbledore ever suspected him. He was Transfiguration teacher at the time, but he never had any evidence to support his suspicions."

"Is Riddle still alive?" Angelina asked.

"I don't know," shrugged George.

"Well, if he is I think he should be caught now and made to pay for what he has done!" said a Ravenclaw boy.

"I agree," spoke up Sirius, "so does most of the wizarding world except they are probably thinking of his more recent crimes."

"You mean he's committed more murders?" George asked.

"You mean you don't know?" Sirius asked in amazement, how could Dumbledore have missed telling him that fact? George shook his head no.

"Tom Riddle murdered his father and grandparents the same year he murdered Myrtle Tumble."

Sirius stood and wrote on the board.

TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE

"Tom Marvolo Riddle was the given name for," he waved his wand at the board so the letters rearranged themselves to say:

I AM LORD VOLDEMORT

George's eyes bulged out of his head and every student in the class gasped.

"Yes, Lord Voldemort's given name was Tom Marvolo Riddle. As I said, most of the world would love to catch him for his crimes and many murders he has performed."

A moment of silence passed.

"Very good, George," Sirius said.

"I wanted to bring in the remains of the diary, but Dumbledore said that he had destroyed them, but Colin Creevey took this picture of it during his first year."

George passed around a photograph of a hand drenched in red ink grabbing the book from a puddle of red ink and a mess of papers.

"Fred, you're last. I hope you chose a lighter subject, we can all certainly use it," Sirius said.

George sat down and Fred jumped up, nodding his head.

"I chose the Marauder's Map. Four young wizards who once attended Hogwarts, known to us as only Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, created a map of Hogwarts. However, this map was special. It traces the movement of everyone in the castle and on its grounds and shows seven secret passages from the grounds. Unfortunately, Filch knows most of them and the one located behind the fourth floor mirror caved in four years ago and the entrance to another one is located under the Whomping Willow. George and I found the map our first year. To activate it you tap it with your wand and say 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good' and to erase it you say 'mischief managed.' The map is very useful for finding passageways, and evading teachers. George and I also know the location of the other three common rooms. Any questions?"

Lee Jordan spoke up, "You never told me?"

Everyone laughed.

"I have a question Mr. Weasley," Sirius said.

"Yes?" Fred asked expectantly.

"Why do you only have your own head listed as a source? Are you telling me that you have no authoritative references on the matter?"

"No, not really," stammered Fred.

"Well, do you have the map?"

"Of course not! You know that!"

Sirius raised one eyebrow, "How would I know any such thing?"

"Because George and I gave it to Harry three years ago."

"Mr. Weasley, I have never seen such a possession in his things nor has he ever brought it up in conversation. How can I be sure this magical object is real?" Sirius asked severely.

"Well...I mean...um...." Fred trailed off.

"I see, please stay after class Fred. Have a seat."

Fred sat down looking confused. A few minutes later the bell rang and the students filed out, except for the Weasley twins.

"George, I don't believe I told you to stay. Please leave."

"Yes, sir."

George left and walked back to Gryffindor Tower to get ready for lunch, all the while wondering how much trouble Fred was going to be in.

"You look glum. What's wrong? Where's Fred?" Harry asked as George came in through the portrait hole.

"Your godfather, that's what's wrong. Do you have the Marauder's Map?" George asked with sudden inspiration.

"Er...well, no actually. Professor Moody confiscated it last year and I don't know where it is now. Why?"

"Well, could you tell Professor Black that it is real!"

"He knows it is," Harry said, confused.

"You mean you have discussed it with him?"

"Well...no."

"But he's seen it in your stuff?"

"No."

"Great," George threw his arms up in disgust, "so Fred'll get in trouble because nobody can prove it actually exists and all you can say is that you thought he knew about it."

Harry burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" asked Ron coming over. Harry leaned over and whispered in his ear for a moment. Ron grinned, glanced at George and then started laughing also.

"Why are you two laughing!" demanded George.

Before either of them could answer the portrait hole opened.

"How'd it go Fred?" George asked anxiously.

"He wants us both to report to him for detention at 7 o'clock tonight."

"Me too! Why?"

"He heard you dare me to use the map as my object."

"Great."

Meanwhile Hermione had come up and was listening to Harry and Ron. The three of them started laughing all over again.

"What's wrong with them," asked Fred.

"They think it amusing that we got in trouble. And Harry no longer has the map," George said in disgust.

"Do you have a suggestion?" asked Fred, annoyed now.

"Well," Harry shrugged, "you could ask Professor Snape. He once got his hands on the map and it started insulting him."

"The map started to insult him?" George asked incredulously.

"Yeah," Harry replied, thoroughly enjoying this, "He kind of demanded as 'master of this school' for it to reveal itself. Lemme see if I remember, Moony said something about his large nose, Prongs said he was an ugly git,..um..., Padfoot called him an idiot of a professor, or something like that, and Wormtail told him to wash his hair."

Fred and George laughed, momentarily forgetting their dilemma.

"You never told me that part!" exclaimed Ron and Hermione had to sit down and hold her sides, which were aching from laughing so hard.

"Now," George asked, serious again, "what are we supposed to do? We are not going to go to Snape and ask him a favor, especially one that involves Professor Black."

Harry shrugged, a grin threatening to come out.

"Oh, wow, look at the time, it's lunch time!" Hermione said, and practically dragged Ron and Harry from the common room.

"Think they're hiding something?" Fred asked suspiciously.

"Nah, they're just enjoying seeing us stumped!" said George angrily.

That night at 7 o'clock exactly Fred and George showed up at Sirius' office.

"Ah, boys, please come in. Now, since neither of you has any definitive evidence of this alleged Marauder's Map, I say make one. That way I can see such an object can exist. I'll be back in one hour."

He left the twins sitting dumbfounded.

"Now what do we do?" George whined.

"Well, it doesn't really matter for your grade," spat Fred, "You already did well on your project. The only reason you're here is because you dared me," he sighed, "I guess we should get started."

An hour later they had managed to put a tracing spell on the parchment, the only problem was, they couldn't figure out how to make it track people. It was currently tracking brooms. And there were a bunch of squiggly lines that refused to stay in one place and create the outline of the school.

Sirius re-entered the room and picked up the parchment, "Is this the best you can do?"

"Yes, sir," said Fred meekly.

"Very well, leave."

"Well, how did it go?" Ron asked as his brothers climbed through the portrait hole.

"He told us to make one. How are we supposed to make one? It was probably made by a team of full Aurors!" George said in exasperation.

"Actually," Hermione looked up from her book for a moment, "it was made by four fifth year wizards."

"How do you know that?" Fred narrowed his eyes, "Don't you dare tell me that its in Hogwarts: A History."

Harry came in looking doleful.

"What's up Harry?" George asked.

Harry flopped down in an arm chair beside the fire, "Nothing, really. I was just thinking about my dad," he stared into the fire for a moment then he looked at George again, "You know, Sirius and my Dad were best friends. They used to pull such pranks! Especially on Snape. They were probably worse pranksters than you two."

"I doubt that they could have pulled a prank on us though," Fred said proudly.

Harry shrugged and started fiddling with his wand as he talked, "You know, my Dad used to call Sirius by a nickname. Sirius told me that when I was a baby and had just started to talk, I called him 'Pafoo' after my Dad's nickname for him."

"Pafoo? What kind of a nickname is that?" George asked.

"I'm going to bed," Ron stood suddenly and announced. Hermione closed her book and said that it was a good idea.

"Yeah, I'm tired too," said Harry staring back into the fire for a moment. Then he stood and stretched. He slowly walked across the common room and up the stairs. Sticking his head back into the common room he looked at Fred and George and said, "By the way, Sirius had a nickname for my dad also. It was Prongs."