941 - 960 of 3,602 Stories

COMPLETE. Have you ever wondered who jinxed the DADA position? Contains a challenge. Please, please review!!

You thought that you had seen the last of Draco Malfoya, aka Malfoya the Tree, but no. He's back, and he's holding auditions for his musical, Ten Sickle Hooker! And of course, as usual, our favorite trio gets mixed up in all the madness! Musical mania is finally sweeping Hogwarts. Sequel to Harry Potter and Hermione's Insatiable Appetite

Hermione wants to go in costume to the Halloween Feast, but she wants the costumes to be spectacular. She hits upon an idea--seven students go as the seven deadly sins. It seems to go well, until a spell goes wrong and mayhem ensues. Can Ron contain any more anger? Can Parvati contain her own love for herself? And what about Draco's new lustful urges for just about everyone?

In a script-like fic, Alex Trebec hosts Harry, Ron, and Malfoy in a difficult journey.

Harry's become the Chocolate Zombie. Ron's writing bad love poetry. ``So's Hermione, but hers is marginally better. Malfoy the Hot, Sexy Slytherin is ``running around rampant. Authors are arguing in the air. The evil Nazi children ``are scheming to take over the world. Ah, sweet normalcy. ^_^

Ron Weasley has been looking forward to his fishing trip with Harry for months. For reasons unknown, Harry has asked Luna to tag along with them, and Ron gets more than he could have possibly bargained for....

According to tradition, there are always fairy godmothers to make sure that living nightmares become dreams and to see that the princess gets her prince - soft-hearted old women with a fondness for pumpkins - so Severus says: why him?

Tired of all those 5th year fan fics that seem to be cut from the same robe? All those worn out, over used plot lines for Harry's Fifth Year getting you down? Are you ready for something new, something original, something that has never been written before in all of Harry Potter Fandom?! WELL THEN, don't read this fic. However, if you're the kind of person that can laugh at yourself, than have I got a Fic for you. Enter here, and you'll find...well, just enter and you'll find out. A parody of Harry Potter's Fifth Year and the ever omniscient and unseen Order of the Phoenix (well, at least until June 21st) which I probably enjoyed writing more than you'll enjoy reading. Go on, just try and prove me wrong!

George offers Ron some advice.

“Dear Mr. Potter, ``It has come to our attention that recently your reputation has taken a slight fall. We have had an idea that could reverse this unfortunate problem. We would like to sponsor a contest where a lucky, young witch wins a chance to go on a date with you! This would greatly improve your approval rating with the public. Please send an owl back with your response. ``Thank you very much, ``Mervalyn Skower, spokeswitch for Mrs. Skower’s Magical Mess Remover.”

Well, this is a funny story about a 6th year named Alexandra who moves all the way from the USA to England. She's a witch attending Hogwarts, where she makes friends with Roger and "the gang". It's got things that could happen to us, teenagers, but don't expect it to be a teenage movie, 'cuz it's really different from that. It's an AU, no Voldemort, no normal characters. Read and you'll find out!

Harry buys a Play-Wizard magazine, but when he tries to enjoy it, he keeps getting interrupted! Will he ever get to read his magazine?

Albus thinks that Severus is having trouble adjusting after the end of the war. He suggests the Potions Master sees a therapist. Too bad she's a complete nutjob.

After returning from a term of service in the British Royal Navy, Peter Pettigrew reunites with his old friends Sirius, Remus, James and Lily. James and Lily are worn ragged by their new child, Harry Potter, and Sirius makes an attempt to amuse them that brings serious consequences upon them all. Mostly a parody with lots of humor, but it also partially adresses why Peter turned to Voldemort. Rated R for language and some adult humor.

It's Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts, and he needs to take an extra class to improve his average. The Muggle studies professor thinks that muggle pen friends will be just the thing to help the students learn about the muggle world!

A hilariously convoluted and contrived series of events leads to meticulously described goings on in broom closets and other uncomfortable and/or exposed areas of the school. No one’s worried about Professor Flitwick disturbing the oral sex, and its ok, cause that never happens! (All brains to be left at the door, please)

While meeting before work, Ron, Harry, and Hermione discover that their least favourite reporter has posted a new article.

Set on the eve of the Trio's sixth year. Stuck at 12 Grimmauld Place for what seems to be an eternity, the adults of the Order find themselves disputing Hermione Granger's seemingly fickle love life and the respective places of Ron Weasley and Harry Potter within it.

What happens when Dumbledore gets sick of Harry taking too long to kill Voldie? He turns hippie. Not only that. DARK hippie. Yes, you heard it right. He's going to use Harry to kill Voldie and become the new baddie himself. And he's transformed all of the staff into peace-loving fools. Oh, the horror!

Viktor's on "furlough" from the Order; he and Hermione engage in a bit of the old nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Or at least, they try to. Problem is, Harry and Ron are particularly dense about reading between the lines and figuring out what all the nudging and winking mean. Viktor and Hermione are simply trying to catch some time alone, and frankly, subtlety is getting them nowhere. But the two of them are nothing if not clever and resourceful! Featuring a very knowing Neville, a slightly strangled Ginny, an extremely naive Harry and Ron, and a very randy (but still very levelheaded) Viktor and Hermione. Rated R for severe comic naughtiness and wicked innuendo. We all knew there was something missing from the Hogwarts curriculum.

In honor of Episode II, an author has forced the characters of the HP universe into performing  the original trilogy. The problems: who to cast, who to date, and what the Death Eaters want to drink.

Just how did Viktor Krum ask Hermione to the Yule Ball? This fic explains everything, and find out exactly why it was a huge mistake.

Obviously, plot bunnies exist. But how much do you know about them? This ficlet attempts to explore the natural history of plot bunnies and how they have affected literature.

What really happened in HBP. Lots of DracoObsessed!Harry, MarySue!Ginny and Dumbledore's bling bling.

Written in response to the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in 10 Pages or Less challenge!

Suddenly notice that you have a werewolf in the house? Who ya gonna call?

It's Bill and Fleur's wedding day, and the Burrow is in a state of chaos. The groom is unconscious, Ron's wearing a du-rag, Harry and Ginny are in a dark room with the door closed, and Fred and George are doing a bit of ill-timed market research. Also, we finally get the answer to that age-old question: is Professor Lupin in the closet? Who's catatonic? Who's bald? And what possesses Molly Weasley to do something socially unacceptable (the same infraction for which she's forever scolding her children)? Written for "A Very Random Comedy Challenge" on FAP, posted by Write Away the Pain.

War is coming to Hogwarts, and Harry dreads facing his recent ex in battle. Terror of Voldemort’s new right-hand man is everywhere, but Harry’s coping skills in particular could use some work. Featuring evil!Draco, snarky!Ron, clueless!Harry, drunk!Sirius, and Hermione standing around looking knowledgeable. Draco wears leather, but possibly not the garment you suspect. H/D slash, Firenze/Trelawney ;)

Give two teenage boys some broomsticks and a jar of oil and you have a ficlet on your hands. Beware a silliness epidemic. H/D slash.

Harry's a drunkard whose once-popular wizard television series, "The Potter Hour," is being cancelled due to poor ratings. What's a messed-up guy to do?

Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are getting married. Yes, married. Unfortunately, last minute cancellations land them in the hands of Father Zacharias Smith, jaded and cynical with a dose of priesthood. Enter Blaise Zabini, an angry and vengeful ex-boyfriend, Matrimony Mueller, a shallow flower girl, Hermione Granger, overworked and underpaid Ministry secretary, Justin Finch-Fletchley, rabid Witch Weekly Fashion Guru and reporter and Severus Snape, oily godfather. ````Wedding, what wedding?

Confused Muggles at Hogwarts, young wizards waiting to get their ``letters…the magical world as we know it is in jeopardy when Hogwarts’ magical ``quill goes defective and takes note of all the wrong children born in Great Britain. ``Meanwhile, 11-year old Harry Potter's dull and depressing life continues at Stonewall ``High, where he encounters an oozing, undistinguishable mass of gray-uniformed ``students, trigonometry, and the snobbish girls of the neighboring Maris Academy ``for Girls, not to mention 11-year-old Hermione Granger.....Will they receive their ``letters and discover their magical destinies before Lord Voldemort snatches the ``Philosopher’s Stone ? Dunno, I haven’t written that much yet.

One day the Dream Team are at Ron's house bored out of their minds. When Hermione comes up with an idea to read a book called The Hobbit, the three of them discover how a book written by a Muggle author can entertain them and do more...much more.

Molly Weasley takes Ron and Ginny to St. Mungo’s to be inoculated, and all hell breaks loose.

This is the story of James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter's first week of Hogwarts. How did they meet? How did they become friends? Who was the first one to get detention? Why wasn't Frank a Marauder? All these questions and more answered in this tale of arrogant but nervous, funny and witty eleven-year-olds. Also includes throwing candy, detention in the trophy room, a Sorting Hat song, and a bet about McGonagall.

What happens when a fed-up house elf decides to teach Draco a lesson? Draco and Ron find out what it's like to be each other, that's what! A ferocious lawn gnome and much more.

Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy and Seamus Finnegan are taken captive by Darth Vader. Meet Darth Vader, Stormtroopers, lightsabers and Luke Skywalker.

When Remus Lupin bets Sirius Black that he can have fun with girls without snogging them, Sirius is sceptical. Who'll win the bet?

What happens when a Boggart turns into your deepest desire, instead of your deepest fear? Snape is about to find out.

A completely pointless sequel to the Hospital Wing and the Astronomy Tower and its sequel. This here sequel is about underpants and house elves. Oh, and Blaise and Ron and Lord Lucius and Terry Boot and Sirius and Ginny and Draco and Harry(?) and Hermione and her stupid campains and I think we'll throw in Neville's granny too and... well, it's a sequel! It's full of all that sequelly goodness, so if you read the first two, you might want to read this one... (and it makes less sense than the sequel prior to this!)

It's been seventy years since our favorite trio were students at Hogwarts! Come and look in on them now, at HAPPY WIZARDS! Featuring Harry, Hermione, Ron and Ginny as well as two of the strangest (and disturbing) SHIPs I've ever thought of!

Voldemort manages to get into Hogwarts one evening, and finds Harry alone. But just because they want to kill each other, that's no reason to be uncivilised... Mild spoiler for HBP.

A cross between 'Merry Christmas (I Don't Wanna Fight Tonight)' by The Ramones, and 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus'. A married Draco and Ginny have a little argument on Christmas Eve over Draco dressing up as Santa to surprise their daughter.

Hermione’s year is off to a rough start. Her two best friends have hormonal overload, harassment from Draco has reached a new level, and then there are those recurring nightmares featuring a black-haired boy named Potter... and it’s NOT Harry.

Halloween, Christmas, New Year's, Easter, and, especially, April Fool's Day, MWPP always have something planned...

A new danger threatens Harry. Is it Voldemort? Dementors? Dragons? Death Eaters? No! It is the horror that is Mary-sue! Will Harry survive this new threat?

Hey! I did it in just 10 minutes, I hope you like it! Its about Harry pissed off because his friends forgot something... read it!!! I need a fanart artist... there's more information at the end of the page. It's in honour for 2002's day!!!

This is the diary of Severus Snape. Proceed with extreme caution. By the way, I got the idea from Cassandra Claire's Very Secret Diaries of The Lord of The Rings.

Harry and Ron get stoned... and naked.

A personal interpretation of what would happen if Hermione and Draco walked down the aisle and off the plank. Swearing, a fed-up psychiatrist, ``and the love-child of this union ensue!! Based off of a scene from "The Ref."

In an unfortunate bout of Hogwarts school teachers suddenly smoking Wizarding Weed, pupils have now been forced to wear... woolly knickers and lacy black see-through halter tops? Hermione has a mad fetish for abs and Ron has a crush on Josh Hartnett and Orlando Bloom. Weird enough for you already? Slightly OOC, H/Hr, Hr/R, and Hr/every guy in the school.

Written for Headgirl's Truth or Dare Challenge. On a lazy Boxing Day afternoon at Grimmauld Place, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Sirius and Remus engage in a rather chaotic game of Truth or Dare.

"Tell me, my Lord, have you some ridiculously elaborate plan to slowly capture the boy, while leaving enough clues around for someone to become suspicious?" A parody of Harry Potter fics.

Tom's diary appears in Ginny's trunk yet again. Finally he's back! Ginny missed him a 'really lot,' and is eager to prove to everybody how smart and brave she is by finally freeing poor Tom from that awful diary... (Warning: Stupid!Ginny)

Harry's failing all of his classes! In order to be allowed to play Quidditch again, he needs to have a passing grade, and there's only one class where he may be able to pull it off--BAND! Find out all about Hogwart's best-kept secret (and for good reason).

It's been five years now since Harry and his friends have graduated, which means it's been four for Luna and Ginny. Hermione, Ginny, and Luna get together once a month for lunch. All three are married now, but only two of them have children. Why doesn't Hermione? And what is the big favor she has to ask Luna? Who is going to pay the check will be the least of their concerns after this one. Oh, and I didn't put Hermione and Harry together in this one. Yes, I was as surprised as you are.

They say love is blind, but what they don't mention is that it's crazy, too. Cho Chang's love life isn't exactly perfect. In fact, it's insane! So many break-ups have landed her in the nut house!

D/H. Short but, well, I don't know about sweet - Harry's having fights with the little people in his head and Draco's hanging upside down! For enjoyment purposes only!

Dr. Seuss meets Harry Potter. ``Talking of hate – there’s the Potter boy, Harry: Obstinate, full of himself, and contrary. “Harry, our hero,” they whimper and boast – the kid’s as appealing as toe jam on toast.

The first in a coming series...``What do the wizards talk about in their breaks?``Sit with Arthur Weasley and read the truth... ``Starring: Coffee, Coffee, and more Coffee!

Snape likes Lily, Lily likes James, James likes Sirius, no wait! That's not what this fic is about, greasiness and randomness....

Godric Gryffindor loves Helga Hufflepuff. Helga Hufflepuff loves Salazar Slytherin. Salazar Slytherin loves … well, Rowena Ravenclaw knows, and she’s just waiting for the fun to start! A parody of the classic musical comedy “Annie.”

All witches and wizards display pre-training talent in the magical field. Harry made strange things happen all the time - finding himself on the school roof, setting the snake loose.... Even wizards who have grown up in the wizarding world experience such happenstances. Grab your helmets, ladies and gentlemen, because here come the Weasley twins!

Author loves wolves. Author disapproves of the way 'Little red riding hood' goes. Author rewrites the story. Author can't think of a good summary. Author hopes people like the story. Author should stop referring to herself as 'author'.````Starring (in order of appearance): Ginny Weasley, Molly Weasley, innocent flowers, Remus Lupin, defenseless bugs, a tall, dark stranger, Minerva McGonagall, another tall, dark stranger, Tom Riddle.

Hermione has 6 people dying to go out with her. What's a girl to do?

The most dreadfully horrendous tragedy that could have ever happen, ``can Harry survive it? Worse yet, can he keep himself from going sane? It all starts ``one morning with a twist of fate. It's even worse then if he met Pikachu or Barney!

A Harry Potter alternate universe moment. Why the Sorting Hat doesn't - and shouldn't - have a sense of humor.

A horrible suspicion has been growing in Narcissa Malfoy's mind. The solution: stalk her husband Lucius.

Harry and Ron get bored one afternoon. They decide to make something up about the beginning of the world and how things were invented with Fred and George. Together they tell Hermione. Find out what happens next!

Ron is trying to sleep when he hears a little noise...

Crabbe and Goyle stumble into Snape's office, dragging Draco. The git has tried to Obliviate himself, in an attempt to forget something unspeakably horrible. But the charm hasn't worked as he intended. And Crabbe and Goyle are acting odd...

Voldemort is dead. But there's one person left on whom Harry wants revenge. And he gets it... in hearts.

Follow James Potter through his years at Hogwarts, the friends, the girls, the laughter and the heartache. But as a first year, mostly just the laughter. Remus Lupin in a dress? It just doesn't get any better.

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter are looking for some one to become their fifth marauder. Most unexpectedly, Severus Snape, shows up and decided to ask for a place in their Marauder group. All Severus wanted to do was to find out what the Marauders were up to; always sneaking out of beds when there is a full moon... but most unfortunately for him, there had to be a test. The obstacles that the Marauders were setting for him is ridiculous. They gave him points that were either three or lower. He really can't survive this nightmare!

Sirius Black offers to watch his young cousin, Nymphadora Tonks, one afternoon, not realizing that he's bit off more than he can chew.

A House, M.D. crossover. Dr. Greg House's latest patient has some interesting symptoms – one being that he thinks he's a wizard.

Recovering from the events of Goblet of Fire, Ron and Harry are at Hermione's house. In a last-ditch effort to cheer everybody up, Hermione logs on to none other than FICTION ALLEY ITSELF!!! In a few minutes, the whole lot is laughing over a humourous romance! (note: implied H/Hr)

It all begins one beautiful morning when Harry and Ron, feeling merry, decide to go for a splash in the lake. They get more adventure than they bargained for, including a rather unpleasant meeting with the giant squid, and a rescue plan involving Dumbledore and their fellow Gryffindors...

Lupin is having a terribly awful time getting his work done while Sirius keeps staring at him.

An add-on to the Translation Series. Ron never read "Translating Mad things Girls Do so Guys can Understand Them" by Hermione Granger, but that doesn't mean you can't. Read Hermione's full guide: complete with input from Ginny Weasley and an afterword by Molly Weasley. A bit of a missing moment from OotP.

When Snape makes the students of Hogwarts test one of their potions, the results prove interesting... and, according to Harry, frightening.

A little peek into what the youngest Weasley is thinking of (and trying to work up the nerve to do) in the last few weeks before her fourth year at Hogwarts. A funny, cute and fluffy prologue to a H/G (and R/H!) fifth-year fic from Ginny's point of view.

So, the Author loses control of the story. Not a good thing to happen. You'll find out.

Arthur Weasley may like Muggle artifacts, but he's never had to shop like one before! A silly one-shot featuring Shopping!Arthur and Super Absorbent!Tampons.

Severus Snape confesses he is a Death Eater to Dumbledore. A parody :)

The Lupins, parents of six kids with wildly different skills and personalities, are in for the hardest night of their life when their kids go on a rampage and nearly claim their lives a hundred times!

Ask the DADA Teachers is an advice column. But it's a special advice column. They answer advice from people in Hogwarts! In this very out-of-character fic, you the reader can send in your own made-up stupid, goofy and wrong problems. The sky is the limit.

Oh my goodness! Hermione's a poor Cinderella! Lord Voldemort as a fairy? Hagrid's pumpkins? Harry's a prince?! And what is wrong with Harry's hair?! Find out in this exciting production at Hogwarts! What happens when wizards try to put on a Muggle play?

There is a little incident in potions class one day...involving our favorite potions teacher, poor Neville Longbottom, a nap and a -er- fly...

A hilarious story in which Harry Potter tries to hire a private detective, Spade Marlowe, to find his missing author, J.K. Rowling. The detective sits Harry down and gives him the facts of life about authors and the work they ``do, and about being a famous literary character. Written in the best traditions of Raymond Chandler and Dashiell Hammett, this fanfic is intended for those bellyaching fans who keep complaining that Ms. Rowling hasn't yet finished book five.

In 1959, teenagers Arthur and Molly catch the train to Hogwarts and discuss the permission slips they got at the end of last term. Not exactly a prequel to The Permission Slip, just part of a loose series of connected fanfics.

Severus proves his love for Hermione by going to meet her father. What happens when Severus gets his first check up?

After leading myself into a trap, I was thrown back into the 1940s. Perhaps it was a twist of fate? Yeah, more like 'twisted fate.' (As told by Hermione Granger.)

What's this 'MySpace' Dudley keeps blabbering on about? Harry, being his usual too-curious-for-his-own-good self investigates one day while the Dursleys are out.

Harry Potter meets Buffy the Vampire Slayer to fill up an otherwise plotless story. It has everything any fan of either storyline would want (according to me anyway).

The House-Elf Liberation Front strikes back...

When a mysterious magical accident turns Harry's mind back``to that of a three year old — and an awfully thick three year old at that``— it's up to Ron and Hermione to turn him back to normal. But the infamous``defence against the Dark Arts jinx is against them. Contains some harsh language.``H/Hr.

Draco has gone insane. Tricks have been unleashed all week. Ron thinks it's hilarious, Harry wonders whats gotten into him, and Hermione is appalled. What's gotten into Draco?

"There are some strange things going on at the moment - I don’t know if you’ve noticed. There seems to be a total Parental Chat epidemic going around. Really, there must be something particular in this year’s summer heat." - Harry, Luna, Hermione, Ginny and Draco are all subjected to a dreaded Parental Chat.

Missing scenes from OotP: Why did Ron go all funny, really? Was it something we missed...Or was something, in fact, missing? And did anyone else suffer a similar fate? ``This tale takes place just after the Department of Mysteries battle, and is rated PG-13 for mild language and a healthy breeze 'round a couple of pairs of privates.