Letters to Send and Parents to Deal With

Letters to Send and Parents to Deal With.

Hermione sat at her desk, brow furrowed, bushy hair falling over her shoulders. She brushed aside the frizz falling into her eyes impatiently and leaned closer to her parchment.

"Aha!" she declared, to no one in particular, and finished her essay with a flourishing gesture.

Smiling in a very self-satisfied sort of way, Hermione stretched her legs and pushed her chair away from her desk. She was just debating whether to go straight to bed or to read a bit beforehand when a tentative knock sounded at her door.

"Come in," Hermione called, yawning.

Helen Granger poked her head in through her daughter's room, the same bushy brown hair framing her face.

"'Lo, mum," Hermione mumbled, standing up. "What is it?"

"Oh, nothing, darling," Helen said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Right..." She pulled on her dressing gown and sat on her bed, opening a heavy, leather-bound book in her lap.

Helen Granger looked at her daughter critically, then sat down on the end of the mattress.

Hermione sighed. "Mum, really, what is it?"

Helen joined her hands and took a deep breath. "Honey... now, don't take this the wrong way... it's just..."

"Just what?" Hermione asked, completely confused.

"Well, your father and I have been talking, and we thought it best if we asked you up front..."

"Asked me what?" said Hermione suspiciously. She couldn't think of anything her parents would possibly have been saying about her that would put her mother into such a state.

"Darling," Helen said, laying a placating hand on her daughter's shoulder. "You're right in the middle of your adolescent years, it's quite normal that you should feel confused..."

"Yes..." said Hermione slowly. "I'm definitely confused." She looked at her mother. "Seriously mum, what are you trying to say?"

Helen took a deep breath. "Are you a lesbian?"

"HUH?"

"Are you, honey? It's all right if you are, there's nothing to worry about, I myself had a friend back at school who was going out with a lovely girl..."

"MOTHER!" Hermione interrupted. "I am NOT a lesbian!"

Helen stopped talking abruptly. "Oh."

Hermione looked at her mother incredulously. "Why on earth would you think that?"

"Oh, darling, see it from my point of view. You work so hard on your school work, you seem to have time for nothing else - not that I mind of course, I'm very proud of you, but it does look a little bit suspicious... And you always complain about those girls at your school. What are they called? Patricia and Lauren..."

"Parvati and Lavender."

"Yes, that's right. You always complain about how stupid and shallow and boy-obsessed they are, and it really sounds like you can't stand boys..."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Look, mum, I appreciate your concern, but I'll have you know that my lack of obsession over guys and my interest in school work does not automatically make me a lesbian, thank you very much. And also, at the end of this school year I actually began a relationship with Ron."

"Ron?" Helen asked hopefully. "A... boy, Ron?"

"Yes mother, a boy. Ronald Weasley? My best friend who's fancied me since God knows when? We finally told each other how we felt and started dating just before the end of the school year."

Helen Granger beamed. "Oh, wonderful darling! I always did like that Ronald boy. What a fine young man, I'm very happy for you."

"Thanks," said Hermione, trying to stop herself from rolling her eyes. She turned back to her book.

"You're not... annoyed at me, are you honey?" Helen asked tentatively. "I just want to be a good mother, and you can't blame me for asking..."

"Of course not," Hermione said, putting her book down. She kissed her mother on the cheek. "I understand, and I'm not annoyed. I was just a bit surprised."

Helen Granger nodded and left the room silently. "Love you," she called, as she closed the door.

"Love you too," Hermione called back, shaking her head and smiling. Parents, she thought. They really were some trouble to deal with. Putting down her book, Hermione reached under her bed and pulled out a shoebox. She removed the lid and took out a piece of parchment.

Dear Ginny, she began.

***

"Ginny, darling?"

"Yeah?"

"Yes, dear, not yeah."

"Sorry. Yes?"

"I was wondering if we could have a little chat."

Ginny looked up. "Okay..." she said slowly.

Molly settled herself in her chair and looked at Ginny kindly. "Now, darling, I need you to tell me the honest truth here."

"Okay," said Ginny again, feeling a little worried, wondering what she could possibly have done.

"You've been very secretive lately," Molly continued, "shutting yourself up in your room, and Fred and George keep teasing you about all the owls you receive..."

"Mum," said Ginny, shifting uncomfortably, "they're just from friends."

"Ginny," said Molly firmly, "don't lie to me."

"What's the big deal?" Ginny asked, feeling vaguely panicky. Damn the twins for mentioning those owls! She had tried her hardest to keep them safe and secret.

"I simply want to know what they're all about," said Molly, looking sharply at her daughter. "There's to be no secrecy or lies in this family."

"I know!" said Ginny and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "It's just... I don't have to tell you everything, mum!"

"I don't mean to pry into your private life, dear," said Molly gently, "but I don't want you to feel like you can't talk to me either."

Ginny sat in silence for a moment. "Okay," she said, taking a deep breath. "I'm... sort of seeing someone."

"Oh!" exclaimed Molly smiling. "I thought so! Who is he, darling? He must be important to you - you've been wearing a love-struck look for weeks."

Ginny blushed. "Well, yes... the person is very important to me... we've been seeing each other for a few months now... and it's important that you like this person too."

"Why, Ginny, of course I trust your judgement. You can't imagine that I would forbid you from seeing a boy you care so much about!"

"Well, that's the thing, mum..." Ginny took a deep breath. "He's not a he." She closed her eyes. "I'm dating a girl."

"Oh..." said Mrs. Weasley.

***

Harry looked up from his letter, grinning. Ron had a funny way of dealing with his emotions. He almost had a heart attack every time Ginny dated someone new, yet he was able to tell his friend very matter-of-factly that his little sister was seeing another girl.

"Harry?" called a voice.

"Yeah?" Harry shouted down the stairs.

"Are you busy?"

"No, why?"

"Could you come down here, we need to talk."

Harry almost dropped his letter in shock. Remus wanted to talk to him? Could it be The Talk? Harry glanced down at the letter in his hand. It seemed that Ron, Ginny and Hermione had all recently been subjected to The Talk; maybe it was his turn now. He shook his head. There must be some great parental conspiracy going on here.

When Harry got to the kitchen, Remus was sitting at the table with a very professor-like air about him.

"Please sit down Harry," he said, gesturing to a chair.

Harry sat down. "Look, Remus..." Harry started.

Remus shook his head. "No, Harry, let me start." He cleared his throat nervously. "There comes a point in life, Harry, when... er... when you will begin to notice certain things happening... to your body."

Harry fought to hide a smile. "Uh-huh."

"And after this time, you will begin to have certain... feelings in you... when you are around certain people."

"Mmh," said Harry, straight-faced.

"Well..." continued Remus, shifting uncomfortably. "Sometimes, the people you have feelings for aren't the people you expected... and... you can get confused, and... you know..." he trailed off.

"Remus," interrupted Harry, "just let me know... which Talk are you trying to have with me right now? The Birds-And-The-Bees Talk, or the Are-You-Gay? Talk?"

A slight smile crept onto Remus' face. "The Are-You-Gay? Talk," he said.

"Right," answered Harry. "Then in that case, the answer has to be, yes, I probably am."

"Oh. Right. Okay. No problem."

"Anything else?" Harry asked. "Only, I've got a letter to send."

"No, go on," said Remus, waving Harry away. "Although I'd just like you to know that I'll be supportive, and I can give you help if you need it..."

"Yeah, I know you'd be supportive," said Harry suppressing a laugh.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Remus asked indignantly.

Harry grinned. "It means I know about you and Sirius."

"What? How... when did you...?"

"Oh come on, Remus," said Harry airily. "Two blokes living together for years, running rampant under a full moon every night, bickering like an old married couple..." He grinned and ran up the stairs, leaving a very flustered Remus behind.

When he got to his room, an elegant and very snobby-looking eagle owl was sitting on his desk; the Malfoy family crest hung around its neck, and a letter tied to its foot.

***

"Son!"

"Yes father?"

"Get down here right now!"

Draco rolled his eyes at his father's imperious tone. "Coming," he called lazily.

"And don't you take that tone with me young man," snapped Lucius Malfoy when his son came down the stairs.

"Sorry, father," Draco said automatically. "What did you want?"

"We need to talk."

"About what?" Draco asked.

"Don't answer back!" said Lucius, glaring at his son. "Remember your manners."

"Yes father," said Draco dully.

"Now, boy," said Lucius. "There comes a time in life when a man and woman will love each other very much..."

"Hang on, dad," interrupted Draco. "Don't tell me you're having the Sex Talk with me! Mother and I already had The Talk when I was eleven!"

Lucius glared at his son again. "Well if you know everything, why haven't you got yourself a girl yet? You need to carry on the Malfoy family line!"

"That might be a bit of a problem, father..."

"Why? No woman anywhere can resist a Malfoy! Why, when I was your age..."

"You see, the problem is I'm sort of gay."

"... hundreds of girls, flocking after me. We Malfoys have irresistible charm..."

"And I also have a crush on a boy at school."

"... wonderful blonde hair, perfect complexion - your mother couldn't resist me..."

"I have a crush on Harry Potter, actually. Isn't that the strangest thing?"

"... I used to have to fight them off, all the ladies... they were queuing up to get a piece of me..."

"I think I'll go write to him now, actually."

"... that's right, son, off you go..."

Draco made his way through the manor quickly and grinned slightly when he heard the outraged scream of "WHAT?!" echo through the halls. He scampered down a corridor and knocked on a large oak door.

"Come in!" came a sweet voice.

"Mother," said Draco plaintively. "I just told father that I was gay and had a crush on Harry Potter and I think he's a little upset, so could you possibly talk to him later when he's calmed down a bit?"

"Of course, sweetie," said Narcissa, smiling. "Now come here - there's a new hair-care potion I'm submitting to the Witch Weekly Cosmetic Contest, I'd like to know what you think of it."

***

Dear Luna,

There are some strange things going on at the moment - I don't know if you've noticed. There seems to be a total Parental Chat epidemic going around. First, Hermione's mum has a Talk with her daughter and thinks she's a lesbian, then Ginny's mum finds out her daughter actually is a lesbian, then Remus has a Talk with me - I tell him that I'm gay, and that I know him and Sirius were also gay - then I get a letter from Draco Malfoy telling me he also had a Talk with his parents, he told them he was gay, and that he has a crush on me.

Really, there must be something particular in this year's summer heat.

Anyway, I hope your summer's going okay and that your search for Crumple-Horned Snorkacks has been successful.

I'll be going down to the Burrow for a few weeks with Hermione, then coming back up to see Remus. Ron, Hermione and Ginny will be coming too. Maybe you can join us then?

See you soon, Harry.

***

"Daddy?"

"Yes, Luna?"

"Can I go to Harry Potter's house at the end of the summer holidays?"

"Of course, love. Now pass me that mallet. Thank you."

"Oh, and Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"I'm going out with Ginny Weasley."

"Lovely, darling."