Maybe a Couple Times, to Be Sure

Maybe A Couple Times, Just To Be Sure.

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"Could you pass me that currant scone, please?"

"I think I could eat anything if you put enough clotted cream on it."

"Well, enough about your weekend."

The three young females laughed. They got together like this about once a month, ever since the final battle had occurred. It was five years since their graduation from Hogwarts, and the same amount of time from that final standoff. They had celebrated the date every month since. The date had become something of a holiday for them, but also a day of remembrance. Many lives had been lost that day on both sides, and not a day went by that they were not thought of. On this day, however, the mood was jovial, and the three friends were all enjoying their time together.

Ginny Weasley was always the last to arrive. The once outspoken proponent for women's rights was now most often seen with Cheerio's in her hair, and a look of utter exhaustion on her face. Having married Neville three years ago and now the mother of twin boys, her life's priorities had been altered greatly since her school days. Although still quick to rise to a slight, she most often reserved her emotions for her family, who she loved more than she could have ever felt possible. Being the first female owner of a professional Quidditch team, she was often putting in long hours during the season, but fortunately Neville seemed to have a huge capacity for caring for their children. Being an Auror, his job also often called him away, but with the Weasley family and Neville's grandmother's help, things seemed to work out perfectly well. Ginny was very content with her life...except for one small thing...literally.

The fact was Neville did not size up very well in romantic terms. Once, as a joke, Ginny had told him that she considered him to be "Christ-like" in bed. He took this as a great compliment, but she had actually meant it to mean that he could "come at any time." Often, when they were watching her team play in her private box, they would have sex during timeouts. Even though the timeouts would only last three minutes, there was plenty of time to complete the deal. She was disappointed by this, but she loved him for other reasons than his sexual prowess, so it didn't bother her...much. Besides, at least she would never likely have to worry about him cheating on her. And he was great with the twins. Things could have been much worse for her. At least she didn't end up with Mr. "Prison Rapist" Malfoy.

Luna always arrived exactly on time. Ginny never understood how she did it. She would be running in late, quite sure that nobody was around her, and then snap, there Luna was. She couldn't have apparated, because there was no tell tale cracking sound, she just appeared. It was very strange, but that pretty much summed up Luna.

Luna had married Harry two years after the final battle with Voldemort. After their experience together in Harry's fifth year, the two of them had become closer, and in his seventh year, the two of them had become an official couple. They had fought side by side in that final battle, and continued to do so as Special Agent Aurors. Luna's father had been slightly disappointed that she wouldn't be taking over the paper, but he cheered up immediately when he found out that she was marrying the Harry Potter. He then changed The Quibbler into a fanzine, which in turn made him more money than his paper ever had. Exactly nine months after their marriage, the couple welcomed a baby boy into their family and then, a year later, a baby girl. Most recently, they had welcomed another baby boy, and Luna was already hoping for another girl, in order to "even things up again." Harry often joked that he needed to live up to Trelawney's prediction for him to become Minister of Magic and have a dozen children. Luna seemed to be perpetually pregnant and, stranger still, happy about it. Unlike Ginny, Luna was content in every sense of the word.

Harry was, to be blunt, a sexual god. Whether it was due to his years playing Quidditch, his years of physical and mental training for the final battle, or simply because he seemed to be able to tap into nearly endless amounts of energy from his emotions, Luna had exactly the opposite situation of Ginny. In fact, as the girls sat around enjoying their tea, she was in the familiar amount of pain attributed to a night long session. Compared to Harry, that Muggle Sting was a cold fish.

Hermione, not surprisingly, had married Ron. The relationship they had in school continued on to present day. They argued almost constantly, and he learned to keep his mouth shut when he didn't want to start one up. A psychiatrist might have pointed out that the similarities between the way Hermione treated Ron and the way his mother treated him, would likely point out something very profound, but all of that was beside the point. They were both happy, and that's what mattered. Yes, they were happy in every way. They made great money as Aurors, they had great friends, and everyone always said what a perfect pair they were. Everything was absolutely perfect...except one thing.

There was one secret that only the two of them knew. While Ginny had produced the first set of twins since Fred and George, and Luna seemed to pop them out like coins from a fruit machine, Ron and Hermione remained a perfect pair. The only time there had been an awkward moment was when Ginny had asked her if she used magical or Muggle birth control. Hermione had panicked and said Muggle without thinking about it. She had then had to race down to the corner store and buy the fist pack of condoms she could lay her hands on. In her haste, she had picked up a box of smalls, much to the chagrin of Ron. The idea was that Ginny might stop over with Neville some night and need to borrow one. Hermione had gone on to use them as water balloons for Crookshanks to play with.

The problem was, ever since their final battle with Voldemort, Ron had been impotent. The healers at St. Mungo's had told him that one of the curses that had been used on him had affected all of his systems. They had been able to rectify all his essential ones, but they had not been able to save his reproductive system. With his dreams of having a big Weasleyesque family with Hermione dashed, they had both gone into counseling and realized that they could still have a very healthy and happy marriage. That had been two years ago, and the memory still crept around in the back of their minds. After months of discussion, the two had decided that they had to do something. After considering all the options, they had come up with the plan that Hermione had in the front of her mind as she looked at her two friends next to her. The time to act was now.

"Luna, I have a favor I want to ask of you. It's not like a 'can I borrow a cup of sugar' type of favor, either."

Luna's bulging eyes landed on Hermione. She remembered back in her fourth year when Hermione had asked her to come along to the Three Broomsticks on Valentine's Day. At the time, she thought that Hermione might have been making a move on her. Then, when she told her Harry would be joining them, she got even more excited. The favor at that time was for her dad to do a piece in his paper for them. This favor sounded like it would be bigger. Did she want him to do a special issue?

"Sure, Hermione. I'll do anything I can for you."

Hermione felt nervous. Maybe this wasn't the type of thing to discuss in front of Ginny. She'd find out eventually, though. Besides, she had started now, there was no turning back.

"Well, it's not so much what you can do for me. Luna, Ron can't...he can't..."

Ginny frowned.

"Spit it out, Hermione. What can't my brother do?"

Hermione's face reddened. Wow, could this be any more awkward?

"Ron can't...perform, if you know what I mean."

Ginny's face went as red as her hair, while Luna continued to look questioningly at Hermione.

"Why, was he going to be in a play, or something?" Luna asked.

Hermione shook her head.

"No, Luna, Ron can't do what men do with women."

Luna still had no idea what Hermione was getting at.

"Do you mean that he doesn't stare at your chest when you're talking to him?"

"Luna," Ginny interrupted, "what Hermione is trying to say is that Ron is impotent."

Luna smiled, finally thinking that she understood.

"Oh, well, of course he is. He's an Auror, and he was one of the wizards that finally defeated Voldemort. He's very important."

Hermione had heard enough.

"Luna! Ron can't get me pregnant!"

There was a dead silence for several minutes after Hermione's yell. Luna finally understood.

"Oh Hermione, I'm so sorry. Have you thought about adoption?"

"Yes, we have," Hermione said wearily. "The waiting list is three years, and that's if you pass inspection. With both of us being Aurors, we would almost certainly be rejected, since it's considered too dangerous a job."

"Isn't there some kind of spell or charm that could help?" Ginny asked.

"No, there isn't. I've looked through every book there is. I've asked Dumbledore and every other expert there is, but the fact remains that, just as there is no magical way to bring back the dead, there is also no way to create life. There are a great many things that can increase female fertility, but nothing really that helps males. So, there's literally nothing that can be done."

Luna felt a lump rise in her throat. She had just today complained to Harry about being sick and tired of being pregnant, and now this. She would have to remember to count her blessings more often.

"Hermione, I feel terrible. But, if Ron is the one with the problem, how can I be of any help?"

Ginny was fairly sure she didn't want to know what this plan was and excused herself to use the restroom. Hermione wasn't sure she wanted to see her go. She could have used someone to help her with the part that came next.

"Luna, it's not really you I need help from, but it is you I needed to talk to first. I know that what I'm asking is highly unusual, and that it could upset you, but I wouldn't ask if there was any other way. You don't have to answer me today, but please think about it, ok?"

Luna was lost again. How could she have been a Ravenclaw and yet have so little concept about some things?

"Hermione, I don't understand what you're asking me."

"Luna, I'm asking you to let me sleep with your husband."

As wide as Luna's eyes usually were, the size of them now was astounding. The lemon curd that she had been piloting towards her mouth flopped back down on her plate, and her cream tea was halted mid-sip. Even a Hufflepuff would have understood what Hermione meant by what she said.

"You want to have sex with Harry? My husband, Harry?" Luna asked as calmly as she could.

"Yes."

"You are asking me to have a one night stand with my husband, Harry."

"Well, no, not a one night stand. I was thinking we should do it a couple of times, just to be sure."

Luna pinched her arm, thinking that she had to be dreaming. Nope, she was awake. At this time, Ginny returned from the loo, flashing her eyes between Luna and Hermione.

"Hey, I'm back. What did I miss?"

Luna slowly turned to face her.

"Oh, nothing much. Hermione wants to have a legs up with Harry, that's all."

Ginny's eyes were now the ones that could be considered astounding. She had thought that Hermione might suggest this, but she had hoped that she had been wrong. The problem was that the idea was not that ridiculous. Harry had proven to be amazingly fertile, and he had always been reliable to help out his friends when they needed it. All the same, this was far different than helping someone move, or lending a few quid until the end of the month.

"Well, it's an idea. It would be like the famous trio all rolled into one. On the other hand, my brother has shown that he's been jealous of Harry in the past, how do you know he won't eventually grow to resent the child Harry helped Hermione to produce? I don't know, Hermione. This seems like an awfully big favor to ask of anyone. And what about you, Luna? Don't you think the idea of Harry having sex with another woman you be, I don't know, awkward? Besides, Harry would never go along with this."

Luna twirled a few strands of her long blonde hair around her fingers while her mind raced over everything that had occurred. She had thought that this would be a very sedate and relaxing lunch, but it had turned out to be anything else but. She liked the quiet times better. After careful consideration, she made up her mind.

"Hermione, I have decided that you may approach Harry with your idea. I give it my blessing, and will let him know that I am in agreement with you."

It was hard to say who looked the more surprised. Both Ginny and Hermione could not have looked more amazed if Snape came in and pulled a dozen ferrets out of his trousers. That would have been weird, though. Hermione recovered and took a steadying breath before speaking.

"Really? Are you sure, Luna?"

Luna smiled and regained her usual airy persona.

"Yes, I'm sure. On one condition, on the nights that you have Harry, I get Ronald."

Hermione yet again looked at Luna in disbelief.

"Uh, Luna, you did hear what I said about him being impotent, right? I mean, if he could perform, we wouldn't need Harry's help."

Luna smiled.

"Oh, I know that. What I have in mind with Ronald has nothing to do with anything sexual; I have plenty of opportunity for that with Harry. No, what I have in mind is much more...cerebral."

Ginny glanced between Luna and Hermione.

"Well, that narrows things down a bit. What do you mean, Luna?"

"I mean chess, of course. Harry is an absolutely appalling player, and I know that Ronald helped save the Sorcerers Stone playing it. So, you get to utilize the physical aspect of my husband, while I get to utilize the mental aspect of yours. So, do we have a deal?"

Hermione couldn't help but smile. Utilize the physical aspect? She'd heard a few names for it in her travels, but that was a new one. And Ron did miss playing chess. She couldn't play very well either, and it had been given up since it most often sparked off an argument between them. It wasn't much of a concession on her part, and Ron would likely enjoy himself.

"Yes, we have a deal. You will ask Harry, and I'll tell Ron that you are in favor of it. I'll also be sure to tell him to dig out his old chess set. I threatened to transfigure him into one of the pieces and set Crookshanks loose on him if he didn't put it away. Do you really think you could talk Harry into this, Luna?"

Luna nodded.

"I have no doubt that I will. Harry cares a great deal about you, Hermione. I believe that, at one time, he would have been happy to be the one who married you in the first place. Don't worry, I trust you both. Harry made a promise to me when we got married, and he's never broken a promise yet. So, I will talk to him this evening, and then we will both come visit you and Ronald to perform the swap. Since our house if larger, I would suggest the two of you use it. I can't imagine Ron would appreciate the thought of the two of you doing it in your own bed. We have several bedrooms, so you could use any of them you wish."

Hermione nodded. She had succeeded in getting what she wanted, but still couldn't help feeling rather strange about it all. She couldn't escape the thought that she had essentially talked Luna into pimping out Harry.

"Yes, well, that will be fine, Luna. I'd better go and talk to Ron. See you both later."

There was a small pop, and Hermione was gone, leaving ten galleons for the bill behind.

"Well, I guess that's our cue to go," Ginny said brightly, trying to keep the mood light despite the extreme amount of heaviness that hung over them now.

Luna smiled.

"Yes, I suppose it is. I need to run home and tell Harry that he'll be having sex with Hermione tonight. He may want to shave."

Ginny didn't know if she should laugh or not. She compromised by choking and coughing. As she recovered, a thought struck her as they made their way out of the restaurant.

"Hey, Luna, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, what is it?"

"Do you know how to play Hearts?"

"Ooh, I love to play Hearts! I haven't played in forever, though. Why?"

"Well, I was just thinking. Neville can play really well."