Does it feel a little...greasy in here?

"Just one kiss Lily?"

"No way!"

"Please?"

"NO! Get away from me you greasy pervert!"

Yet another lame attempt from Severus Snape to get that kiss from Lily Evans. Severus's bottom lip trembled and he stalked away, his black cloak thrown behind him. He thought it was cool having billowing black robes flying behind him, but this 'fashion' had already tripped up about ten students and teachers. Will he ever learn?

James, Remus, Sirius and Peter smirked; there was only one thing that hurt Snape more than points being deducted and people commenting on his hygiene (well, lack of it), and that was rejection from Lily Evans. It had always been clear that Snape had fancied Lily, ever since she defended him when Sirius threw numerous dung bombs at him one Christmas. But Snape unfortunately had taken this the wrong way; he now thought that Lily had some kind of crush on him, which she definitely did not!

"Aww, Lily, you've broken his heart!" Sirius said, jokingly.

Lily ignored this remark and continued her conversation with James. "So, you can only shoot with the Quaffle from inside the area?" Lily asked, whilst buttering some toast.

"Yeah, but you got to be really quick, or their Keeper'll have you off your broom like that," James said, snapping his fingers.

It was clear to everyone except James that Lily didn't have a clue about Quidditch, or that she even cared about it. She had been to every Gryffindor match since James had made the team; he thought she had taken a real liking for the sport. Everyone else could tell that she really liked him; he was just too brainless to see it. The only person Lily had told about liking James was Remus. She and Remus got on really well, she felt that she could tell him anything and he'd never say anything to anybody.

The five continued with breakfast, Lily occasionally looking over at Snape who seemed to be brushing his hair with very little success, unless success is when the hairbrush sticks to your head.

When breakfast had ended they headed for their lessons. Well, Lily, Remus and Peter did. Sirius and James conveniently took the wrong route and ran into an unused classroom, (now I know what it looks like, but it's not honest!).

"James, are you completely dumb?!" Sirius shouted.

James looked a little offended. "Well, I wouldn't say completely,"

"Can't you see it?!"

James immediately checked that his fly was closed, and sighed with relief. Sirius rolled his eyes and continued, "Lily!" he shouted, his eyes wide, like he was trying to tell James something.

"Yeah..." James said, confused, not seeing what Sirius was getting at.

"She likes you!" Sirius said, triumphantly, James put on his sarcastic voice.

"Oh ha ha ha, look, she's a friend. She's interested in Quidditch and I'm giving her a few pointers on it, that's all," James said, trying to end the conversation.

"Friend my arse!" Sirius snorted, just at that second some boxes shuffled suspiciously in the corner.

"Well, what have we here?" James said curiously, walking over to the boxes and kicking them away. Severus Snape sat with a plotting grin on his face.

"Oh, I can't wait to tell people about this one!" Snape shouted, the other two looked confused.

"Tell people what?" Sirius asked, Snape got up from the floor and dusted himself down.

"That you were going to show James your arse!" Snape shouted, laughing maniacally he ran from the classroom, accidentally tripping over a box and knocking himself out on the wall.

"What the hell? That guy has got serious problems," James said, laughing.

Sirius nodded and they left the classroom and headed for History of Magic. They approached the classroom carefully, they had done this plenty of times, usually they had been for food in the kitchens. They saw Professor Binns floating around, numerous sleeping students and two spare seats. They waited for Professor Binns to turn to the blackboard then...

"Now!" James hissed.

They both scrambled into the classroom and into their seats, only noticed by Lily, James and Peter. James sat next to Lily and she smiled at him. At the other side of James was Sirius who nudged him and winked. Professor Binns continued to drone on. After his double lesson had ended and many students had caught up with lost sleep everyone headed to the Great Hall for lunch. Lily sat opposite James and Sirius continued winking, Lily now thinking that Sirius had some sort of eye problem.

"So James, Gryffindor in with a chance for the Quidditch cup?" she asked, while gazing at him.

"Yeah, I think so, I mean we play Slytherin next week. Why don't you come and watch?" he said. Lily's emerald eyes suddenly lit up.

"Yeah, sure," she smiled.

Everyone's faces however suddenly changed to a look of disgust.

"What the hell? Someone open a damn window in here please!" Remus said, whilst looking around. Severus Snape had stalked over to the Gryffindor table towards Lily. The greasiness filled the air (literally) and was noticed by everyone.

"Hi, Lily, I was just thinking, me and you, how about some time we go out for a drink?" he said, sounding really full of himself.

"Severus, I'm not interested in you that way, and er, you're not old enough to drink, unless you think that downing several pints of milk is cool," she said.

Snape looked defeated and embarrassed. He stalked off, giving James a look of hate. The air suddenly felt much cleaner and the Gryffindors were able to breathe again.

Snape had returned to his table. He was sick of James always talking to Lily. He had also noticed that she'd taken a sudden liking for Quidditch...

"Hmm, I have a cunning plan," he said to himself, the other Slytherins edging away from Snape who was talking to himself.

Saturday soon approached and the Slytherin - Gryffindor match was ready to be played. Students headed for the Quidditch stands and James was just about to head for the changing rooms when Lily ran up to him. "Hey, wait up!"

"Hey Lily, what's up?" James asked, Lily reached into her bag and pulled out a small piece of paper.

"Don't open it until you're in the changing rooms," she said. Lily turned around and was about to walk to the Quidditch stands, but she turned around again and kissed him on the cheek. "Good luck," she said, running to catch up Remus and Peter.

Sirius came from no where and patted James on the back. "I told you James...didn't I tell you?! Am I a genius or am I a genius!" Sirius shouted.

James clutched the note tightly and smiled, but looking slightly embarrassed at one of his best friends dancing around in the Great Hall singing, "I feel it in my fingers...I feel it in my robes."

"Sirius!" James shouted, staring at him, but he couldn't help laughing.

The stands were full and the teams were undergoing their prep talk.

"Right, sod fair play...we want to win! I don't care what the hell you do to them...we must win!" Matthew Wood shouted the team looking a little surprised.

"You always tell us to play fair though Matthew," Ellie Spinnet said, with a confused face.

"Well, forget what I said...I want a nice dirty match from ALL of you!"

The others shrugged and began to discuss their match tactics.

Talk in the other changing room was very different though. For the first time in history the windows of the Slytherin changing room had been opened, all due to the newcomer of the team. Yes, Severus Snape had managed to bribe the whole team onto letting him play Quidditch for Slytherin, despite the fact that he could only just stay on broom for five seconds. In order not to suffocate the rest of the team with greasy air the windows were opened. Five minutes to go and the crowds were getting noisy, the teams lined up ready...

"And welcome to the semi finals of the Quidditch cup!" a voice boomed from outside.

Cheers were heard from all over the stands.

The doors opened and the players flew onto the pitch, James was circling the goal posts when he suddenly remembered Lily's letter, he quickly opened it before the match started.

James, Check your left pocket, Lily xxx

James looked a bit confused; he put his hand into his left pocket and pulled out a photo of himself, Lily, Remus and Sirius, with the Eiffel Tower behind them.

They had all accidentally (and illegally) Apparated to Paris the previous year. They couldn't Apparate back and were stuck in Paris for a day before the Ministry came to collect them. James said it had been one of the best days of his life. He had completely forgotten that they had taken that picture. All of them were smiling and Sirius was making faces at the camera.

James laughed, but soon stopped when he felt a certain greasy aura around him.

"It's not greasy! It's shiny!" Snape shouted, both teams wondering whom he was talking to.

"So, Potter! Worried are you?" Snape shouted across to James.

"Worried about you? No way!" James laughed.

Snape smirked, losing control of his broom for a second.

"And Slytherin has a new team player today: Severus Snape!" shouted the commentator. Surprisingly, both teams' supporters booed at this announcement. "He will be playing as a Chaser today in the place of Bradley Flint!"

Even more disappointed noises from the crowds.

"And they're off! Potter in possession of the Quaffle, Potter to Bell...back to Potter...HE SCORES!"

Cheers erupted from the Gryffindor stands. James caught Lily's eye and smiled, but the smile was short-lived when a greasy haired pervert knocked into him and forced James to fall off his broom.

Snape smirked, and threw a god-I'm-gorgeous smile at Lily; she looked disgusted and quite scared.

James managed to regain control of his broom. The match continued and soon the score was 15-2 to Gryffindor, 2 goals scored by James and 13 own goals by Snape, who had just realised that the goal he was shooting into was the wrong one.

Gryffindor's seeker was still searching for the Snitch; Snape was taunting James from his end of the pitch. About five minutes later, (and three more own goals from Snape) Gryffindor's Seeker shot off after the Snitch

"He's going for it, going, going, GOT IT! Gryffindor win with 168-2 points!"

Gryffindors cheered from all over the stands and James went to congratulate his team's seeker, on his way though he 'accidentally' knocked a disgruntled Slytherin by the name of Severus off his broom into the sand. Snape looked menacing but James gave him a grin and carried on. All of the Gryffindors were partying in the common room later that evening, James and Lily were officially an item after Sirius announced it without them knowing. Remus climbed through the portrait of the Fat Lady at around ten o'clock.

"Remus! Where you been?" Sirius asked, looking a little on the drunken side.

"How many Butterbeers have you had?" Remus asked, supporting his swaying friend,

"Oh y'know, *hic*, about thirty, not much though,' Sirius replied.

"Er, ok, anyway, I have been doing my research and I have the whole story of Severus Snape's rise to Quidditch fame right here!"

The whole of the Gryffindor common room fell silent and everyone listened intently.

"Well, turns out Lily, that he had more that a crush on you. He bribed the whole team with free Potions essays so he could make the team. Then, he wanted to knock out James in the game and he figured you and him would ride off into the sunset together. 'Unfortunately', he now has a broken leg and his hate for James is ten times worse since Sirius ran into the hospital wing shouting, and I quote, ' Ha ha ha Snape, Lily's marrying James!' several times before leaving,"

James threw a furtive glance at Sirius. "You said that?"

"What? I..er..well...can I be your best man?" Sirius said, hoping he would live to see his fourteenth birthday.

James grinned and Remus coughed,"Er...one more thing, Lily...Snape might have put one of his dodgy love potions into your drink over the weekend so if you suddenly feel attracted to him at any time, don't worry. It's not real! No one could feel attracted to that ugly git!" Remus said, grabbing a Butterbeer off the table and joining the others.

James and Lily engaged in a conversation about Quidditch tactics and how Snape's hair was beyond a joke now.

Lurking in the corners of Hogwarts, a young Gryffindor student was making his way to the hospital wing. Creeping silently through the doors Peter Pettigrew tiptoed to Severus Snape's bedside and whispered, "I put that potion in his drink for you, Severus."

"Thanks, Peter. I knew I could trust you," Snape said, grinning evilly. "Let's see if Lily likes a guy who belches up slugs every five seconds."