LB Beck

Throughout OotP and HBP, Remus and Tonks eat far too much takeaway food from the Chang Family's Mo Shu Magical Kitchen. Fortune cookies are a bit different in the Wizarding world, but are the tiny slips of paper capable of reading minds? Find out.

It's sound advice: Never accept food from Fred and/or George Weasley. But when it's a pan of warm, chocolatey, gooey brownies, how could any sane person possibly resist? (Easily, if they know what's good for 'em.) Warning: Not your Mom's brownies; this fic is rated PG-13 for a reason.

Remus has been sent to infiltrate Greyback's camp, and it isn't long before he realizes: Something's missing. Something important. What could it be? Who can help him in his hour of need...Or, rather, who WILL help him?

When Harry showed up at nearly one in the morning, Tonks was at the Weasleys', apparently there for "tea and sympathy" from Molly. What, exactly, had transpired, just before Harry and Dumbledore arrived? A missing scene from HBP, in which Tonks discusses life, love, loss, and the really horrid month she and her mousy-brown hair have experienced.

Remus Lupin gets sacked, heads for the Hog's Head, and reminisces about Order history and procedure, including the infamous Patronus-communications.

On the eve of a fateful battle, two Order of the Phoenix members are in an upstairs suite at number twelve, Grimmauld Place. Just before the call from Snape comes in, Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks are engaged in struggles of their own, fighting both a Boggart and their own emotions.

Stuck inside a gloomy house, on the run from the law.... What's a man to do? If the man in question is Sirius Black, the only option is to spend a little time with two good friends, a bottle of Ogden's Old, a quill and parchment, and ten very clever ideas for fun. (Fun at others' expense, that is.) Molly's angry, Snape's storming out of the house... and what in Merlin's name is on Arthur's head? Also features the genesis of a rather infamous defective dose of Contraceptive Potion.

Ever wonder how the Order of the Phoenix does its recruiting? Do all Order members enjoy their duties? Of course! There's nothing more thrilling than hanging out in a house full of Dark artifacts, or staring at a door, right? (...Yeah.) This is the previously untold story of the less exciting aspects of Order life, as recorded by three drunkards, and discovered by a serious-minded young woman who was in need of a reality check.

A very loosely connected companion piece to "A Veritable Font of Underpants," in which we learn whence came the permanent ink pen. This story spans from Christmastime, OotP, through the end of HBP. Beware of abundant silliness, and a bit of romance thrown into the mix for kicks and giggles.

Guess who's having a Wandpoint Wedding? Due to faulty Contraceptive Potion, someone finds herself knocked up, and her significant other wants to "make an honest woman out of her." Unfortunately, there are several major obstacles between them and the altar. Two-days-earlier prequel to "Wardens of Wizardkind."

Short, sweet, and to the point. Taking place post-HBP, a look into a long day in the lives of Remus and Tonks, as they work on Order business. Contains terrible poetry and haiku of equally dubious quality.

Padfoot -- er, sorry, Sirius -- writes a Practice NEWT essay for McGonagall's Transfiguration class. Of course, it's all just hypothetical: He's not an Animagus, he's not the one who's been doing all sorts of naughty things, and, of course, he doesn't have to resort to blackmail in order to pass the course. (Yeah. Right.) *Winner of FA's Back to School/Witching Hour Challenge!*

It's Bill and Fleur's wedding day, and the Burrow is in a state of chaos. The groom is unconscious, Ron's wearing a du-rag, Harry and Ginny are in a dark room with the door closed, and Fred and George are doing a bit of ill-timed market research. Also, we finally get the answer to that age-old question: is Professor Lupin in the closet? Who's catatonic? Who's bald? And what possesses Molly Weasley to do something socially unacceptable (the same infraction for which she's forever scolding her children)? Written for "A Very Random Comedy Challenge" on FAP, posted by Write Away the Pain.

Oh, dear. It seems as though Dolores Umbridge has made public her prejudices against part-humans and half-breeds. A newly-married couple has been given a nasty shock thanks to a front-page Daily Prophet headline, there's backlash at the Ministry, and -- hmm -- some of this sounds like Real Life.

Sirius politely requests that Remus accompany him for a day of babysitting. (Actually, Moony gets blackmailed into the job, but who's keeping track?) Unfortunately, Sirius' four-year-old cousin, ickle Nymphadora, is not the sort of little girl who likes tea parties and fairy tales. How hard can it possibly be for two Marauders to entertain one small child for a day...?

Missing scenes from OotP: Why did Ron go all funny, really? Was it something we missed...Or was something, in fact, missing? And did anyone else suffer a similar fate? ``This tale takes place just after the Department of Mysteries battle, and is rated PG-13 for mild language and a healthy breeze 'round a couple of pairs of privates.

Sirius and Remus while away the hours at Grimmauld Place. Sirius drinks and broods; Remus reads and eats chocolate. Tonks arrives every evening and breaks up the monotony.... Until one night, between the tea cart and the door, she manages to send the routine entirely out the window. This is the touching and heart-warming story of one musty old parlor's adventures in stolen underpants, truly horrendous werewolf pickup lines, and firewhiskey for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and everything in between.

The Marauders' younger days come back to Remus as he dreams. Happy memories combine with a chilling message for the future, and Remus wonders how the story will end.