3,361 - 3,380 of 3,602 Stories

Someone is playing pranks on the teachers and students of Hogwarts.

There's never a dull moment in the Old Farts Retirement Home. If they've lived this long, one can assume they'll live longer, happier lives. That is, unless they can survive each other. Featuring ForgetfulButStillEvil!Draco, SuckyChessPlayingHero!Harry, Hermione as herself except (much) older, Insane!Peter, and Ron!

Trelawney attempts to impress her class, only to find that her lack of Latin skills has backfired.

Draco has a bad day. Absinthe, ghosts, and snogging follow.

I took Eminem's lyrics and tune and tweaked it a bit; HP style.

The Creevey brothers are babysitting Kevin, the You bust slug kid from the Quidditch world cup. Surely, nothing can go wrong there...

Harry goes crazy when a Slytherin tells him that her house is going to``win the Hogwarts Cup this year. The real height of the story is when the world meets Spider-Bat, but it's mainly about Harry (not).

One thing that no one ever notices about an Animagus is that they retain some sort of the animal they transform into within themselves.

Thanks to his tomcatting ways, Crookshanks is stuck entering the worst rodent in Hogwarts into SMART's Grand Rodent Race: Scabbers. ````Ever wonder what the various animals of Hogwards do when their humans are busy? How these often smarter-than-average creatures keep themselves busy? This story is about one event the Hogwarts cats hold, told from Crookshank's point of view!

Voldemort is known as the terror of the wizarding world, and a terrorist in the Muggle world. Well everyone has their off days... Right? What happens to poor Voldie when he's forced to go out and deal with the Muggles that he despises so much, in order to get the food that makes his evil brain tick?

This author is in for the ride of her life and transferring into Hogwarts as a sixth year is only a blip on the radar! She must cram for exams, avoid Malfoy, get Ron & Hermione together, avoid Malfoy, get Harry & Ginny togther, avoid Malfoy, survive in Hufflepuff and... MAKE OUT WITH MALFOY?! SAY WHAT?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!

In the fifth of my parody series, Harry tries to kill himself several times in rapid succession, stopped by government coverups, several very cool yet grossly screentime-deprived people, and Dumbledore's ACTING!

This is a parody. What if Harry Potter was an American red neck cowboy? This is an exercise in learning how to write dialogue different from the normal English language. The British readers may have problems with it. I was also trying to develop dialogue which suggests sensual themes, but does not define them. What is really going on is in the minds of the reader. Overall, intense romance, strong sexual content, and a lot of humor, I hope. The story got the best of me. It was only supposed to be about six pages. I feel bad about writing it and I don't suggest you read it.

Mrs. Figg had a thing for cats.

Set in the _Slytherin Rising_ AU. Draco Malfoy's in love with Ravenclaw's hardest hard-girl. Can a Slytherin and a Ravenclaw find happiness together---particularly if she tends to think he's rubbish? And what's up with the fencing master and Luna?

Have you ever tried to get things done but came away empty handed, due to unfortunate disturbances? Well, so has Hermione. In this fic, she deals with life's little annoyances, misfortunes, and creative differences, all while trying to hide a little-known passion.

Whatever happened to Lee Jordan's pet spider?

PoA era. Severus Snape takes a thoughtful stroll down Diagon Alley at the start of the Christmas holidays, but it soon turns into a quite a harrowing ordeal for our favourite Potions Master. Contains some rather dark humour. You have been warned!

Is the Giant Squid merely a docile mollusk, or is there something more to this tentacled mystery of the depths? The fate of the world rests in Dobby's hands, and Dumbledore is at his cleverest.

Mortie Wimsey and his best friend Blaise Zabini go for a stroll around the school grounds. They see a bright blue light emerging from a cave and decide to have a look inside the cave. They see there something totally unexpected...

Dragons' Heartstrings is a fan fic in soap opera form, based on Harry's life after Hogwarts. Packed with Gred and Forge style humor, random jokes, and satire, Dragons' Heartstrings pokes fun at the dramatic quality of soap operas as well as the far-fetched ideas of some other Harry Potter fan fictions.

It is 1976 and the Marauders are in the last few days of their sixth year. An invitation is issued for a Muggle-style disco by the Gryffindor seventh-years to celebrate the end of the term. What crazy and wild hijinks will happen at the disco?

What happens when the four biggest baddies in fiction and fantasy get together for a little tea?

The sequel to "A Look in the Mind of Voldemort," based on Nonoka's artwork, the new FictionAlley Park picture. A spy tries to find out what happens to the Dark Lord. He find himself watching Ships in Fiction Alley Park pass by.

Harry’s in deep trouble. He’s also in Hull. Factor in an evil, fuming faction, a nemesis, and some Ancient Greek Thugs and you’ve got yourself a fic. A completely irreverent jokelette about villains, creeping around, and sexual tension that could (loosely) be called a ‘thriller’ but really, you’d have to be mad. [H/D]

Everyones favourite fanfiction authors Siofra the Elf and Gwendolyn James, along with their friends, have been dragged into the past to relive one of their favourite scenes from the Harry Potter movies. Hilarity and craziness ensues as the time draws ever closer...

A schedule of a day in the life of Voldemort. We all know he's evil, but here's the insight you've been waiting for!

In which the Defender of Stuffed Friends and Bestest Treasures does battle with a Raven. This story is set in my AU Prophecy, and occurs about three years before the Eight start at Hogwarts.

The biggest child of the James Thickey Ward at St. Mungo’s is about to learn something astonishing and possibly dangerous. But – will he remember about it tomorrow?

Lucius has always been charming and witty, and even silver looked good on him. After a night of cuddling with a hippogriff who wanders onto the Malfoy property, he finds out that there is more to life than hourly manicures. It is up to Lucius to find his way to his hippogriff again, with the help of Voldemort, Draco, and some very dead Italian designers.

What happened to Quirrell that infamous day in Book One?

Headmistress Granger has some ideas for modernizing the school's curriculum. Severus Snape is damned if he'll let her get away with it. And the staff is stuck at Hogwarts for the summer until there is an agreement. Pure crackfic written for the Winter 2009 SSHG Exchange on LJ.

A young Slytherin sets out for the Forbidden Forest to help Professor Longbottom repair the damage done to the school garden and finds more than he bargained for awaiting him in the woods.

James Potter is stumped. How can he get the girl of his dreams to go out with him if she refuses to listen? He'll just have to come up with some catchy way to MAKE her listen. . . Based on the lyrics of "Oh! Darling" by the Beatles; and written for the Five-Witch Tournament between myself, lupa_mannera, DarkFaerii, secret_witch, and akeyana on HarryPotterFanfiction.Com.

Blaise Zabini, the Care of the Magical Creatures teacher at Hogwarts, suddenly receives a Floo call from an old friend, who is in urgent need of Blaise's help. Blaise dashes off to give him a hand, and in process of helping his friend, Blaise solves a mystery with the assistance of his cat Macavity.

It's the last day of school for the Marauders, Lily and Izzy. The graduating ceremony has taken place. A funny, emotional story about their farewell.

11 years old. Isn't that a little young to think you've fallen in love? Well... my neighbor says it's not. Of course, under tyranny from my mother, I could never say what I wanted; James and I just stayed friends. Then came the divorce, and Hogwarts... how much would change and how much would stay the same?

I just thought of this re-reading my fic--hilarious!

A brief autobiography of Filch's cat, Mrs. Norris.

Mr. Weasley gets the family a new... Well, I dunno if one would consider it a pet. All humor and tormented Weasleys, Harry and Hermione at the Burrow. If you've played "Chamber of Secrets" on PS2 or Game Cube then you pretty much have got the idea of what this is about. (Think about what Harry has to defeat in the beginning before degnoming.)

And things get worse for poor Winky! A cross-over of elves from six different universes: Harry Potter, LOTR, Artemis Fowl, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Santa Claus and the North Pole, and featuring Elfquest's Winnowill!

Let's see what our favourite blonde-haired, grey-eyed Slytherin has to say about Spring. Read on for Draco's thoughts on melanoma and bunnies amongst other things.

Harry and Hermione go on a humorous and revealing adventure a while before going to their seventh year at Hogwarts. Is it possible for them to meet two wizards their age in a similar search for Voldemort? What kind of suprises await them?

Ginny Weasley is confused. Draco Malfoy is confused. Harry Potter is confused and Hermione Granger is confused. Who loves whom and why? Who is with whom and who wants to be with whom? Ginny is confused; who is it that she wants to be with? She's always had a schoolgirl crush on Harry, but is that really all it is? And what about the other man? Hermione feels indefinite about her love interest and does not know what to do. Ginny discovers a dark secret by means of her past. Can they cope?

Draco has a plot against Harry Potter. A sinister plot. But will Harry end up being the true victim? Femmeslash. Female!Harry/Pansy.

As the War wraps up, Hermione tracks a Death Eater to Cardiff.

Harry takes a break from Horcrux hunting, working in the WWW. BeST submission to the may 2007 FA Challenge: Prompt: Cornelius Fudge bought Dandelion Wine from Harry Potter

Ginny is dating Harry. Harry is graduating. Why is Ginny getting drunk with Draco Malfoy? Very fluffy and ends happily ever after. D/G, with later mentions of R/Hr.

What happens when Harry accidentally casts the wrong spell and causes the worlds of Harry Potter, Star Wars, and The Lord of the Rings to collide? Chaos, chimney sweeps, ferrets named Tim, and... a boxing match? One can only imagine what this fic holds in store. Featuring all your favorite characters from all those stories, plus a few others and a cameo appearance by America's favorite referee.

A random, stupid parody of the Chamber of Secrets movie, involving Harry being an idiot, Lucius being HOT, and Lockhart... well, you'll see. Oh, yeah, and David Bowie makes a guest appearance.

Blaise Zabini, the Care of the Magical Creatures teacher at Hogwarts, arrives for the summer holidays to a small inn in Aberdeen with his cat Macavity, a Kneazle. The very first day at the inn he encounters a mystery, which he solves with some help from Macavity.

Post-Hogwarts. Ron and Draco live together, but none of his friends know. They have a Christmas party and Draco must hide himself somehow; hilarity ensues.

Death Eaters have taken Hogwarts. The Order has fallen. Who will save them? Only the greatest witch in all fan fiction. But who will save us from her?

A Ministry spokesman holds a press conference to announce the new policies put in place at Azkaban and to answer questions posed by reporters.

Percy Ignatius Weasley decides that he wants a chance to be on his own, away from all of his brothers. He proposes to his parents an opportunity they couldn't refuse: to spend the entire summer in London on his own. When he arrives, it isn't quite what Mr. Optimistic had originally planned. From Firewhiskey to "woman", Percy finds the real world not as comforting as he thought.

Students keep catching fire in Snape's classes. What is going on? Who is behind it? And what will Snape do?

This is a fun J/L story that starts in First Year. Sarcastic, witty, and humorous, "Reflections" is told form Lily's PoV as she looks back on her memories.

What happens one day when the notorious Deanna Tyler (of Slytherin Rising fame) get bored. What mayhem will commence?

The sixth-year students get to vote for head boy and head girl.... but what happens when one of Harry Potter's fans promises his hero a victory since he's the one that's got the whole school hooked? WE WANT POT!! WE WANT POT!! Chaos insues.....

Illness has temporarily taken River and Wrackspurt out of commission. But rather than inflict dead air on their loyal fans the Saturday before Valentine's Day, the WWN has agreed to let Annie and Angelina guest host one episode. The guys might live to regret it…. Companion to "George & Annie: an Unofficial Biography." No slash.

Peeves has his work cut out for him with a new kid on the block.

The sorting of Narcissa Black.

This fic is a prequel to the

Fan fiction fights back! Or, at least, fan fiction Harry does! He's fed up with the author leaving him out and intends to ruin her latest R/Hr fic. But can Harry really fight fan fiction, or the power of words? It's not looking likely... Oh, well at least the rest of the gang get a laugh!

Ever wonder what happened on Molly and Arthur's midnight stroll?

Two Americans are assigned a report on wizards, but what will they do, since wizards are extinct? But when Albus Dumbledore comes and takes them to the past, they are trapped in a whirlwind of Oreo cookies, snogging, ferrets and a really bad grade on their report.

His hair is as yellow as a '70s Beetle. His eyes are as gray as cement. He's not really daft, and he makes her laugh. (But her poetry makes him lament.) One-shot.

Gilderoy Lockhart is on a lecture tour before teaching at Hogwarts.

A Czech friend of Professor Blaise Zabini found an important manuscript and asked for Blaise's help. Blaise obliged, accompanied by his smart cat Macavity...

On Severus Snape's birthday, two people come together for drunken introspection and might just wind up friends.

Harry muses on love and friendship.

A mysterious book on a secondhand book stall turns out to be a history written by Professor Binns - but it is nothing like his lessons! Muggle readers will be startled to discover how little they know about what really happened to the Druids, what made the Romans so powerful and what it is about werewolves that makes so many people hate them.

A smoky corner office. A pouting dame. Follow Neville as he tails Moaning Myrtle in her mysterious doings as a '20s-style detective. A short little ficlet.

Blaise stood Draco up. He needs a substitute. He finds one in a pile of photos Colin was looking at which was not meant for modeling purposes and insists that Colin persuade this person to model... Guess who? I won't tell you, it'll ruin the surprising twist in the story...

Harry returns to Diagon Alley and Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes to talk with Ron about the future.

Harry, being an idiot, somehow gets onto Platform 5 1/2 instead of 9 3/4 and winds up on The Panda Express. Fortune cookies, chopstick wars, and confusion of whether or not the eyes of the people are opened or closed. Stereotypes and free food for everyone!

The Harry Potter universe has many examples of the false economy of isolating and imprisoning decent people "for their own good". Sibyll Trelawney is a case in point. What if she was a valuable resource that was squandered by Dumbledore?

Everyone has at least one odd characteristic or trait. Whether it be a large wart atop their nose or a slight stutter, no one can ever truly say that they are perfect. There is always that something...

Ron and Hermione have someone new to defeat, and this time, Harry isn't with them. Where is Harry, who is this someone, and will they succeed? I'm told it could pass for fluff.

Ever wondered how Trevor made it from King’s Cross to the Hogwarts’ boats in his first year? Suspected fiendish plots, but been unable to pin-point the culprit? Look no further – the answer is here! Read all about it in the words of both the man – er, toad – himself and also the vile toad-napper.

Forty-two women, three monkeys and Harry’s scar.

We all know about Hogwarts, but what about the other schools in the Wizarding World? This story takes place in Salem Massachusetts, USA where four young witches discover that even though they appear different they have one thing in common, and become true friends. slightly AU.

Gary Splotter returns to Hogwarts for his third year. Unfortunately for Gary, the famed murderer, Layed Back, is after him this year. Faced with this fact and the Dementors roaming the school, the stupid child must survive dealing with Professor Drape (Spade!) and the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Poopin. With a large new cast of characters and a far more dramatic storyline, it's GS like you've never seen it before.

Romance, high drama, bitter angst - this fic contains none of those. Quickly chronicles Draco's writing career from the age of ten to the age of seventeen. Watch him as he learns what a pronoun is and why it doesn't bite.

A challenge... Insanity fills Hogwarts Castle on the first day back. Set in fifth year. Beans, brownies and giggles.

Harry's been having dreams and they aren't dreams that any normal person would have. What happens when you mess up on a spell once and you can't help but mess it up again? Continuation of "Oh, Dear Christ!"

This story is a twisted version of the fairytale Rapunzel. Argus Filch attempts to make some personal improvements to increase his attractiveness. Somehow things don't go according to plan... and the only one surprised by this is Filch.

Spearfishing with Draco Malfoy? Every fangirl's dream...

This is not simply a question; it is the question. What will the answers be? Ron and Harry are men on a mission.

Hermione has several encounters with someone who seems to be sure that she has feelings for a certain redhead.

A day in the ordinary life of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. Full of laughter, pranks, and James trying to impress Lily. Basically, the usual.

After finding the last of the Horcruxes, Harry faces Voldemort in the final battle, then embarks on a whole new path. Can he do it without his friends by his side? AU, crossover with DLM and told in first person from Harry's point of view.

How can you summarize something so stupid, so pointless, so annoying and so moronic? Hmm... SPAM, I think. Spam. Yes, Spam. Lovely, lovely Spam. Not to be read by Bush supporters. A must for people who don't want to wait five chapters to get to the punchline!

Hermione Granger was not a gossiper- she was just curious. Which is why, when she heard a voice, it was in the name of curiosity that she stopping and listened. Pokes fun at slash.

Another nineteen years later, two old friends enjoy the simple pleasure of each other's company.

Remus gets more than one birthday surprise. (Remus/Ron)

Dumbledore had grown accustomed to hearing news of former pupils being captured and sent to Azkaban, but being Flooed and informed that his own brother had been arrested for performing improper charms on a goat was an entirely different matter.

On Twelfth Night, Professor Blaise Zabini, sitting quietly at home, receives an urgent call from a friend....