Voldy's Day Voldy's Way

7:30 am: Wake up to alarm clock and put it on snooze.

8:00 am: Wake up to alarm clock and snooze it again.

8:30 am: Blast alarm clock to smithereens and go back to sleep.

10:00 am: Get up and slip on the robes of evil.

10:05 am: Brush teeth with evil toothpaste and clean head with evil soap.

11:30 am: Scream at Wormtail so he can make me an evil breakfast. The most important evil meal of the day.

12:00 pm: Finish evil breakfast and caress wand.

12:30 pm: Admire myself in all my evilness.

1:00 pm: Feed a mouse to Nagini and watch all the digestion while laughing evilly.

1:30 pm: Get out karaoke machine and sing both to "Macho Man" and "I'm Too Sexy for My Shirt." Very evilly, of course.

2:30 pm: Yell at Wormtail to make him bring me my evil lunch. Yum, PB and J.

2:55 pm: Death Eater Tea Party time. Set out Mr. Fluffles and Miss Pettycote on teak chairs that creak evilly.

3:00 pm: Set out Dr. Floppy. I evilly forgot to before.

3:01pm: Explain newest evil plot at tea party and rant about Harry Potter while followers all nod sarcastically and evilly.

4:00 pm: Berate Nagini for ruining my Simon Cowell doll.

4:15 pm: Put Nagini in her cage with a Harry Potter doll and hope she eats that instead. I wouldn't want her to get Paris Hilton or Brad Pitt!

5:00 pm: Take evening shower with evil shower gel.

5:45 pm: Yell at Wormtail for folding my robes the wrong way and evilly make him do it over while Cruciating him over and over.

6:00 pm: Get out karaoke machine again and sing to "Break Away" and "What's Left of Me." Yell at Lucius Malfoy for being near my door when I did so and evilly kick his butt out my door.

6:55 pm: Scream at Wormtail to make him get me an evil dinner from the Chinese takeout place across the street. Dumplings and rice, the most evil of all dinners. Muahaha.

7:30 pm: Take an evil beauty nap.

7:35 pm: Wake up from evil beauty nap.

7: 40 pm: Call up the local snake charmer to get Nagini to evilly fall asleep. Hey, I was too lazy to make a potion!

8:00 pm: Take evil nightly shower using evil shampoo.

8:30 pm: Yell at Wormtail to make my bed.

8:31 pm: Get into bed after Wormtail has made it and evilly say goodnight.

9:00 pm: Secretly get out of bed and go up on nearby cliff.

9:30 pm to 3:30 am: Sit on cliff while evilly making out with anything in sight while yelling at the moon, praying for evil lasagna to fall into my house.

3:45 am: Trudge evilly back down the cliff and go in house. Set alarm clock for 7:30 a.m. and go to sleep, evilly.

3:45 to 7:30: Have a lovely evil dream while asleep and be rudely woken up by alarm clock, which I will turn to snooze. Very evilly, of course.