Lunatics

Surrounded by Lunatics

(No pun intended)

Well, there's no denying it. I'm surrounded by lunatics and there's nothing I can do about it. Ah, I know what you're thinking, of course you're surrounded by lunatics, we're all surrounded by lunatics! It's a cruel, inescapable fact of life.

Well, I'm not surrounded by the lunatics you're thinking of. No. I'm talking about real lunatics; people possessed to the very point of insanity by one thing.

Love.

Yes, I know. It's not uncommon. But, when your two best friends are getting all lovey-dovey and your friend's entire family is getting sappy and your worst enemy is getting gushy and your ex is snogging some total weirdo instead of you in a pink teashop, you feel a bit out of whack. So, to put it simply, I'm the first one I know out of most of these people to kiss a girl, yet I'm the only one who doesn't have a "significant other", and I hate it. I'm surrounded by couples, or lunatics, or regularly fine people except for they happen to be under an incurable spell that has fascinated and yet eluded the understanding of wizards and muggles alike since Adam and Eve .

I feel so alone right now. And you can stop laughing, because it's not funny. I mean, it's pretty pathetic when even Loony Lovegood has a boyfriend, and I can't even get a date with the ghost that haunts the girls' toilet on the second floor (not, of course, because she dislikes me, but because I'm not a blob of ectoplasm and not stupid enough to ask Moaning Myrtle out on a date, which would probably take place in the U-bend.) Yeah, I'm in a social ditch right now. And you know what? According to Lupin, my dad was some total babe magnet! Apparently, "animal magnetism", as Ron calls it, is just not genetic, no matter how much I look like my dad. Which is really not fair, because even Percy has a girlfriend, and he's really a right pain in the you-know-what! And me? No.

I just don't understand it. I thought I would be the first one to have a girlfriend, and I really was, except, would you count someone you kissed then got dumped by while drinking coffee filled with confetti a girlfriend? I didn't think so. And here I am, the famous Harry Potter, dateless and babe-less, while complete slime-balls like Draco Malfoy have got a girlfriend (or three).

Alright, so laugh all you want, but seriously, now, my dad had a fan club, and do you see me brushing off chicks like dust? No. Do you see me with a different girl every week? No. I'm not even like Sirius, my godfather, who could turn the hardest heart into a pool of goo over his brown eyes...but I guess I shouldn't expect that to happen, seeing as my eyes are green.

Aw, brilliant, Ron and Hermione are having a little 'session' by the fireplace. No, they aren't kissing, thankfully enough, but they're doing homework. Together. Ron never did his homework before, but I guess I should be used to being brushed aside. It's all about Hermione now. That's all it has been since Christmas break.

Well, I'm surrounded by lunatics, and there's nothing I can do about it. But, come to think of it, I'm kinda wishing I was one of those lunatics too. Wanna help me out?