In Vino Veritas

Title: In Vino Veritas

Prompt: Cornelius Fudge bought Dandelion Wine from Harry Potter

Rating: PG

He was going to do it! He had taken all he was going to take, the sly looks and sudden silences when he entered the room. The last straw was the patronising air that prig, Percy Weasley, adopted every time they had to interact. Did he forget where he came from? Who he owed his position to? And now that - Bootlicker - had invited him to dinner at the Ministry, as if conferring an honour! The colourful pamphlet in his hand crackled suggestively as his fingers balled into fists.

Still, all good dinner guests brought wine, didn't they? And if that wine did not quite agree with the host, then it was not the innocent guest's fault, now was it? Sniggering to himself, Cornelius ran his eyes down the list of new products available from WWW, the sparkling bottle of pale yellow Dandelion wine calling his name in seductive tones. Perfect!

~~*~~

The brass bell over the door tinkled as another customer pushed into the crowded, colourful confines of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, smells assaulting the senses from all sides. Harry glanced up at Forge, who was nodding over a copy of the Daily Prophet, and shook his head as he pushed himself to his feet and slouched out to see who had come in. The twins had agreed to let him have a few days of 'normal life' serving at the counter in their Diagon Alley shop, while Ron and Hermione did some much needed research before the trio headed out again on the next leg of their Horcrux hunt.

At first he could not see anyone in the shop until he noticed movement over by the window, a silhouette outlined against the weak summer sunshine. The customer seemed to be looking at something across the street. Harry frowned; the only thing across the street was Ollivander's shop. Taking a deep breath, Harry asked if he could be of help, the figure's shoulders twitching for a moment.

"It seems such a shame that Ollivanders is all boarded up like that. So many purchased their first wands there, have done for centuries, you know." The man heaved a large sigh, then started up again. "The first Ollivander made the wands for the original founders of Hogwarts, according to Orgenius. He even had Rowena Ravenclaw's own wand in the window for a while." The figure turned and both speaker and listener gasped as they recognised each other in that instant.

"Potter!"

"Mr Fudge," Harry replied in controlled tones. "How can I help you today?"

"You help me?" Cornelius asked, surprised. "Why would you help me?"

"I am assisting the Weasley twins in the shop this week and you are a customer," Harry stated the obvious, keeping his tone pleasant by a dint of effort.

"Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived serving in a joke shop," Fudge mused, his lip curling derisively at his perceived irony of the situation. "Very well, I want a bottle of Dandelion Wine. Is it any good?"

"Of course it is, Madam Rosmerta's finest," Harry said scornfully. 'Brewed in the back cellar of the Three Broomsticks, in a cast iron tub,' he added gleefully in his thoughts. "Can I interest you in a tasting?" he asked formally.

"Only fools and philistines buy wine without taste testing," Fudge said loftily, making an airy gesture. "Bring me a sample."

Harry bowed slightly and only just stopped himself tugging his forelock in disgust as he backed away and disappeared behind the curtain that separated the workshop from the sales floor. "Hey Forge, have we got some Veritaserum? I need some, quickly!"

A long arm came out of the shadows and deposited a familiar tiny bottle in his hand as Gred stopped by his brother, identical grins of malicious delight lighting their faces. "Is little Harry-kins pissed at a punter?" one of them asked.

"Like you would not believe!" Harry muttered, quickly assembling a tray, a white cloth, a small wineglass and a dollop of potion into the clean glass before hurrying out again.

Fudge did not notice the slight dampness in the glass as he watched Harry uncork and pour a sample of the wine. With gloating glee, he mused that it was most gratifying to have one's position in the world reinforced by simple service, was it not? Taking the proffered glass, he made a production of sniffing and swirling, checking the bouquet and the colour before taking a healthy swig and rolling it around in his mouth. It wasn't bad, as far as Fudge could tell, not bad at all, in fact.... He finished the sample and nodded his approval as Harry topped it up again.

"So, Minister, is it true Ollivander had Rowena Ravenclaw's wand in his shop?" Harry asked carefully, keeping his head down as he waited for the answer.

"In the window actually, not marked, of course. Used to brag that a cored wand had been designed by Ravenclaw herself and that was why all his wands were cored, not like the inferior rubbish wizards from the continent had to use. A good quality wood with a reliable magical core did it every time. It was part of Ravenclaw's philosophy that a wand chose the wizard, but that's what happens when a Ravenclaw is in charge of something so important, don't you know. Intellectuals, heads in the clouds and so out of touch with the realities of a situation until it bites them on the arse. I shall miss Orgenius, despite him going a little peculiar toward the end there."

"Peculiar? How?" Harry prompted quietly, perhaps this was the information he needed for the next step in his journey. He waited for the ex-Minister's answer with anticipation.

"Oh, the old fool thought Ravenclaw's wand was possessed, said it seemed to talk to him every now and again. Then Tobias Langford tried to use it, managing to stab himself in the eye, although why he was playing with it in the first place was a mystery. 'A malicious act of a possessed and daemonic tool', Orgenius said at the Leaky Cauldron a couple of days before he left." Fudge drifted off and took another swig of the wine.

"What else did he say about it?"

"Foolish talk of Hor-hic-cruxes and soul fragments, things of Dark Magic, silly old fart." He stared blearily at Harry, trying to focus on the teen. "Said You-Know-Who had stolen the wand and did something terrible to it before the Aurors recovered it from Knockturn Alley, as if -hic- such a thing was possible." He snorted into his glass before taking another swig.

"Why isn't it possible?" Harry asked, curiously.

"No such thing as You-Know-Who!" Fudge spluttered loudly, starting to go purple in the face. Harry thought the man might give Uncle Vernon a run for his money. "Foolish, scaremongering, bloody Harry Potter! Rude boy ... liar ... needs to be punished for his insolence, damn his - hic - eyes!"

Harry ducked the wildly flailing arm as Fred and George poked their heads around the curtains to watch the ex-Minister's antics. They shook their heads and grinned at Harry who was having a hard time believing what the Minister had just told him, even if he was Veritaserumed and incapable of lying.

"How much did you give him, Harry?" Fred whispered with lively curiosity.

"Er, about a quarter inch in the bottom of the glass," Harry mumbled.

"Ah, that would explain it..."

"...overdosed to the max..."

"...and giggly as a girl..."

"Good one, Harry! What did he want -- "

"-- the wine for?"

"He didn't say..." Harry started to explain.

"Dinner with your prat of a brother," Fudge answered truthfully, his choler beginning to even out as he calmed down.

The twins exchanged long, knowing looks and disappeared for a few moments before reappearing with a gift-wrapped bottle, which one of them presented ceremoniously to the former Minister. "With our compliments," the other said gleefully.

Nodding regally, Fudge took the bottle as if it was his right and exited the shop with his head held high, his hat askew, and leaving behind a puzzled young man and two very satisfied pranksters.

"I thought the wine was just a base for prank potions," Harry said, puzzled.

"It is," Forge assured him, high-fiving his twin, and grinning at Harry's puzzled look. "Since you were having such success with Fudge, we simply added Veritaserum to the whole bottle," George explained further.

"His dinner with Percy will be a very, er, honest, one!" Fred said, laughing.

"Oh, to be a fly on that wall!" The twins fell on each other's shoulders, cackling insanely.

Rolling his eyes, Harry folded up the towel neatly, and went to find Ron and Hermione. They had some work to do -- a wand maker and wand to find. This had been a very profitable stint in the joke shop. He only hoped all his leads would come this easily!