Curiousity

Curiosity

Hermione Granger was not a gossiper- she was just curious. It was curiosity that ran through her veins, it was curiosity that made her stand outside a room for five minutes before going in. It wasn't like she was going to tell anybody; it was only to satisfy her own curiosity. Which is why, when she heard a voice, it was in the name of curiosity that she stopping and listened.

"Are you sure we can do it in here? I mean, we tried it here before. That grove down by the lake is better for..."

That was how it started. She stopped walking, certain that she'd just heard a voice coming from the broom closet. And it was just her curiosity that made her stay there.

"Ron, don't be a pain. The grove is getting boring."

At that, Hermione's mouth nearly dropped open. It was Harry! And, no less, standing in a broom closet with Ron. Now full of sprouting curiosity, Hermione put her ear against the door of the closet to continue listening.

"But this is too small."

For a second, Hermione wondered if maybe she shouldn't be listening to this. Maybe there was a reason they were... um, doing this in a broom closet and not in the Gryffindor Common Room. But she decided that her curiosity was more important than her prefect duties.

"Small is cozy, sometimes..." Harry's voice took on a lower tone, which of course made it harder to hear. That was why Hermione pressed her ear against the door harder, but the rest of his words were lost.

"Who are you spying on?"

Hermione jumped and jerked away from the closet door, staring at the smugly grinning Seamus Finnegan. It was a split-second decision between denying it and upholding her good reputation or continuing to listen. "Ron and Harry. Now hush." Hermione put her ear back against the door, trying to maintain some of her dignity.

"...it's not fair!" Hermione glared at Seamus, who had joined her at the door. She'd now missed part of their conversation and the beginning of Ron's sentence. "Yours is bigger than mine!"

This time, Hermione's jaw did drop, right in synch with Seamus'. A passing student stared at them as she walked by, but neither Hermione nor Seamus noticed. Both were busying not trying to think of what could be compared in size, in a closet, between two men.

"We go through this every time. Mine is always bigger than yours. Just shut up and put it in."

"Now that wasn't very nice, Harry," Seamus said, trying very hard not to laugh, while Hermione's eyes were widening.

After a short pause, they could hear Ron sigh in exasperation. "This isn't working. Take it out... anyway, it has a weird shape and it's big for a-"

"Or maybe you're just whiny. How do we prove that?" Harry sounded almost bored, and his mouth seemed to be full of something.

At this point, Hermione was torn between just throwing open the door and running away. She was also seriously regretting even beginning to listen to this conversation, and whatever it was that they were doing in there. Seamus, on the other hand, appeared to be going into a seizure as he tried to laugh his head off somewhat quietly.

"I think I'll just have to taste it."

Seamus was now officially away from the door, he was laughing so hard. Hermione gave up trying to excuse this as an innocent situation, though she wasn't sure why she kept listening. Let's blame it on her curiosity.

"You'll get your clothes all sticky and then all the school will want to join us." Harry's voice had risen in irritation.

Seamus, who had somehow calmed down enough to hear Harry, glanced at Hermione. "You know, Harry is one odd guy, but on the other hand, it's kind of kinky..."

Hermione blushed and- blame it on her curiosity- went back to listening.

"...just be careful. Don't shove it in there."

Ron went silent after that, which turned out to be even worse than listening to the goings-on of whatever they were doing in that closet. It made Hermione imagine stranger things than what (she hoped) was really happening.

"Ouch! It's got into my eye! Shit, Harry, can't you control that thing?"

"Well, sorry. You were the one who wanted to taste it."

Seamus was biting his lip and had his hand over his mouth. Hermione was completely and utterly speechless. A tiny corner of her mind was wondering how she was ever going to look Harry in the eye again, but she barely heard it over the other voice, which was saying: no wonder he had so much trouble finding a date!

"It would be easier if you'd just let me hold it."

"Not in a hundred years. It's all mine."

Hermione could take no more. She broke away from the door, her stunned expression fully opposite of Seamus'.

"Who knew Harry was so... gifted?" Seamus said, which made Hermione immediately think of naked Harrys dancing the mambo. Not knowing why other than that she was still curious, Hermione put her ear back to the door.

"Hum... Harry, that's gooooood..."

Hermione fled.

When Harry and Ron got out of the broom closet, both were licking fingers that were marked with chocolate (Ron had a smudge on his left eye). They dumped the empty baskets that had been sent by Mrs. Weasley as her usual Easter presents in the first trashcan they came across. Too many people stealing out of baskets that hadn't been sent to them had taught the two to eat in secret before word got out.

What Harry couldn't understand was the appearance of the book Coming Out: A Gay Man's Guide To Opening The Door on his bed one evening. He also found it strange that Hermione went instantly pink when he tried to talk to her, and positively fled the room at the next opportunity. Seamus was beginning to pick up the tendency to raise his eyebrows whenever Harry would complain about his inability to get a girlfriend.

Of course, he didn't know about Seamus' beliefs about his talents in dark closets. He didn't know what assumptions had been made that day he and Ron had eaten their baskets. And he didn't certainly didn't know what Hermione Granger had heard through that door.

All in the name of curiosity, obviously.