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From zed’s ANALogy and TOPology Potterverse. Harry and Draco spent some quality time together in a disused equipment storeroom with disastrous results. Will Harry be able to save the day yet again, and live up to his boast: "Don’t worry. I will be."? Featuring Delinquent!Harry and Smug!Draco, sarcastic classmates and the dreaded best-friend-from-Hell, ItchyFist!Ron.

THE RECIPE FOR DISASTER``49 packets of Cheesy Nibbles, 15 kegs of Butterbeer, 2 crates of Firespirits, 45 twenty-something magic folks. (For best results include a squeeze of Werewolf, a pinch of rat, a plastered brace of hosts, and for that sharp tang - one socially inept, mentally unstable DeathEater.)``**To aid mixing, be sure to add a dash of Sirius Black: Cocktail Mixer Extraordinaire.``Instructions: Put folks together in a small cottage in a remote village in Wales. Add all alcohol, and leave to marinade for the evening in own juices. Then stand well back.

This fic is nothin more or less than a simple parody of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. In this chapter, Harry finds a "noble steed," and "knights" some of his friends. But what hiss happen next? (Dramatic music plays in the background.)

Sequel to "Harry Potter and the Half-Witted Prince." A spoof of Deathly Hallows. Harry is retarded, Ron likes dancing, Hermione is hot. What more needs to be said?

Meet Draco Malfoy--a teenage Slytherin who is certain he would have``all the answers if he could:````a. lose 15 pounds``b. win the Quidditch Cup``c. win the House Cup````Draco Malfoy's Diary is the devastatingly self-aware, tongue-in-cheek daily``chronicle of Draco's permanent, doomed quest for self-improvement--a school year in which he resolves to: beat Potter at Quidditch, beat Granger at O.W.L.s, and beat Weasley at everything.

In a script-like fic, Alex Trebec hosts Harry, Ron, and Malfoy in a difficult journey.

Tired of all those 5th year fan fics that seem to be cut from the same robe? All those worn out, over used plot lines for Harry's Fifth Year getting you down? Are you ready for something new, something original, something that has never been written before in all of Harry Potter Fandom?! WELL THEN, don't read this fic. However, if you're the kind of person that can laugh at yourself, than have I got a Fic for you. Enter here, and you'll find...well, just enter and you'll find out. A parody of Harry Potter's Fifth Year and the ever omniscient and unseen Order of the Phoenix (well, at least until June 21st) which I probably enjoyed writing more than you'll enjoy reading. Go on, just try and prove me wrong!

“Dear Mr. Potter, ``It has come to our attention that recently your reputation has taken a slight fall. We have had an idea that could reverse this unfortunate problem. We would like to sponsor a contest where a lucky, young witch wins a chance to go on a date with you! This would greatly improve your approval rating with the public. Please send an owl back with your response. ``Thank you very much, ``Mervalyn Skower, spokeswitch for Mrs. Skower’s Magical Mess Remover.”

After returning from a term of service in the British Royal Navy, Peter Pettigrew reunites with his old friends Sirius, Remus, James and Lily. James and Lily are worn ragged by their new child, Harry Potter, and Sirius makes an attempt to amuse them that brings serious consequences upon them all. Mostly a parody with lots of humor, but it also partially adresses why Peter turned to Voldemort. Rated R for language and some adult humor.

What happens when Dumbledore gets sick of Harry taking too long to kill Voldie? He turns hippie. Not only that. DARK hippie. Yes, you heard it right. He's going to use Harry to kill Voldie and become the new baddie himself. And he's transformed all of the staff into peace-loving fools. Oh, the horror!

Viktor's on "furlough" from the Order; he and Hermione engage in a bit of the old nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Or at least, they try to. Problem is, Harry and Ron are particularly dense about reading between the lines and figuring out what all the nudging and winking mean. Viktor and Hermione are simply trying to catch some time alone, and frankly, subtlety is getting them nowhere. But the two of them are nothing if not clever and resourceful! Featuring a very knowing Neville, a slightly strangled Ginny, an extremely naive Harry and Ron, and a very randy (but still very levelheaded) Viktor and Hermione. Rated R for severe comic naughtiness and wicked innuendo. We all knew there was something missing from the Hogwarts curriculum.

What really happened in HBP. Lots of DracoObsessed!Harry, MarySue!Ginny and Dumbledore's bling bling.

A new danger threatens Harry. Is it Voldemort? Dementors? Dragons? Death Eaters? No! It is the horror that is Mary-sue! Will Harry survive this new threat?

This is the diary of Severus Snape. Proceed with extreme caution. By the way, I got the idea from Cassandra Claire's Very Secret Diaries of The Lord of The Rings.

"Tell me, my Lord, have you some ridiculously elaborate plan to slowly capture the boy, while leaving enough clues around for someone to become suspicious?" A parody of Harry Potter fics.

Godric Gryffindor loves Helga Hufflepuff. Helga Hufflepuff loves Salazar Slytherin. Salazar Slytherin loves … well, Rowena Ravenclaw knows, and she’s just waiting for the fun to start! A parody of the classic musical comedy “Annie.”

Dr. Seuss meets Harry Potter. ``Talking of hate – there’s the Potter boy, Harry: Obstinate, full of himself, and contrary. “Harry, our hero,” they whimper and boast – the kid’s as appealing as toe jam on toast.

Author loves wolves. Author disapproves of the way 'Little red riding hood' goes. Author rewrites the story. Author can't think of a good summary. Author hopes people like the story. Author should stop referring to herself as 'author'.````Starring (in order of appearance): Ginny Weasley, Molly Weasley, innocent flowers, Remus Lupin, defenseless bugs, a tall, dark stranger, Minerva McGonagall, another tall, dark stranger, Tom Riddle.

A Harry Potter alternate universe moment. Why the Sorting Hat doesn't - and shouldn't - have a sense of humor.

So, the Author loses control of the story. Not a good thing to happen. You'll find out.

Severus Snape confesses he is a Death Eater to Dumbledore. A parody :)

Ask the DADA Teachers is an advice column. But it's a special advice column. They answer advice from people in Hogwarts! In this very out-of-character fic, you the reader can send in your own made-up stupid, goofy and wrong problems. The sky is the limit.

Seamus decides that a prank must be played on Draco Malfoy since Snape seems to be almost taunting him with it. He does so and is punished. He discovers a small door during his detention that somehow leads into the mind of the Boy Who Lived. Quite a few riotous moments occur after this discovery is made. Neville's debacle in the showers is just one waiting for you. You want slash? It's in there like Ragu, baby!

For Draco it starts out as just another revenge plot. He focuses his energy on Ginny Weasley because she's weak and meek. Then he manages to get her angry causing a whole new side of her personality to be revealed and Draco realises she's not what he expected.

If you think you've got what it takes you work for the self-proclaimed evilest Dark Wizard in the history, read this story and think twice. It will serve as a guideline for all you need to know if you want to be a Death Eater (there is a quiz that you can do and it'll tell you!!).

Twelve people get a rather threatening letter to be in the Room of Requirement--or else. So when they do go in, they read a book. A 'Sue story that will most likely scar them for life.

Back by popular demand! Those fangirls, never giving Hermione peace about their captured hotties. She has (reluctantly) written another book on how to care for a Hogwarts hottie, this one on the ever popular Draco Malfoy.

Lily Evans participates in a student exchange program where she would spend an entire year at a fellow wizarding school, Hogwarts. Will Lily's "condition" hinder her and stud, James Potter's relationship? Will an unknown shadow threaten her life? Maybe so...

Two people meet in a cafe and find their way through a conversational minefield as a Deluxe Time-Turner interrupts their false starts, gaffes, faux pas and fandom clichés on the way to falling in love.

Once upon a time there was a group of individuals more powerful than the average person. They decided to form a band of which the likes had never been seen. Fabulous secret powers were revealed to them the day that held aloft their magic wands and said, "By the power of Cheese Monkeys, I am Mary Sue!" ``And then Albus Dumbledore and the rest of the canon characters chucked 'em out of the school.

Ever wonder what would happen if you mixed the Andrew Llyod Webber musical 'Cats' with J.K. Rowling's 'Harry Potter' series? Well, here's the answer: Cats... Harry Potter Style. You'll see the characters as you've never seen them before... in full cat costume, including wig, makeup, and unitard while singing, dancing, jumping, twirling, spinning, and falling all over the stage. Set in the beautiful location of the Hogwarts School junkyard, this fic will truly be one you'll never forget.

A girl. A boy. A problem. A complication. Several cliches. A resolution. The H/Hr romance to end all H/Hr romances.

Neville Longbottom has a secret love ... and it's Severus Snape! But does Snape feel the same about Neville? And exactly how do they convey their feelings through song anyway? A parody of Rodgers' & Hammerstein's musical "The Sound of Music"

Voldemort pays a visit to Harry but ends up flirting shamelessly with Aunt Petunia! Honestly, carrying on like a couple of teenagers....

Someone tries to fulfill their “Final Battle” story requirement with disastrous results.

Halo addicts, verbal romances, a considerably intelligent four year old and mistold adventures, this a fiction for anybody who's ever been on a long bus ride to enjoy! Just wait to say: "That's SO true" to nearly every line! This is a Crack!Fic of epic proportions for anybody who's ever been on a good, long bus ride!

Dumbledore's mind is rotting. The time has come for bad stuff to happen! A stupid 5th year adventure with weird stuff, guest appearances, and an "incident".

After Lucius Malfoy’s plans for murder are foiled, Draco has to hide out in a cottage with creatures who force him into slavery. But more designs for his demise are being put into motion. Can Harry save the day again? Will anyone live happily ever after? This story is AU. Includes creepy house elves, an evil witch, a poisoned apple, a rhyme-off and a clueless hero to save the day. Harry/Draco. Lucius/his hair.

Dumbledore had his reasons for locking Sirius up in his own house. But what reasons does Black himself have for going quite, quite mad?

Did you ever wonder what would happen if the world of Harry Potter collided with the world of Star Trek? Well, I did...and out came this.

The world of fairy tales and the wizarding world collides when Snow White suddenly ends up in the Burrow. With Naked!Draco, Er!Ron, the rest of the Weasleys and crazy fairy tale characters.

The girls of Harry Potter do a parody of the song "Cell Block Tango" from the movie "Chicago."

Are you tired of stories where Draco and Harry fall desperately in love, only to have one of them die in a dramatic, rather predictable (if sudden) manner? This is a fic written in script form; a romantic parody in five acts. Includes the Obligatory Gratuitous Sex Scene.

Why does everyone always treat me (Hermione) in the same way? I feel trapped... hear my point of view, and decide for yourself.

MWPP-era Hogwarts does The Rocky Horror Picture Show (no, not Debbie Does Dallas style), featuring Brad!Remus, Janet!Sirius and high camp Riff Raff!Snape. Warning: will include campness, corsets and cross-dressing.

Hermione has been writing letters throughout the summer to Harry though never sending one, until now. A disobedient owl reveals to Harry that he's not alone in his feelings, though Hermione wished it never happened H/Hr

A songfic to "Kiss Today Goodbye" from the musical "A Chorus Line." It's kind of over done, I suppose, but Harry and Hermione love each other (everybody knows this). If only that bad ol' Voldemort weren't in the way! (H/Hr)

Well, I finally have another one up, as I promised. The very secret diary of Draco Malfoy the Third. A parody of Cassandra Claire's VSDs. WARNING: Humor and nonsense ahead. As well, I know it's nowhere near as good as the original VSDs, but it's a parody, people!

It's Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts and, due to the events of the previous year, he's a manic depressive with a fixation with death, Hermione's got the worst documented case of PMT in the history of Hogwarts, and poor Ron's got all this to deal with. Then along comes the Curse of Ravenclaw Tower, something that makes Ron's day that little bit worse. Also featuring in this comic tale are Ginny, Neville and Luna (because I like to make everyone suffer).

Mary Sue is sick and tired of romance novels, so when she's offered a starring role in a Harry Potter fanfic, she jumps at the chance. Problem is, things aren't going exactly according to plan... My mom says it's stupid, my beta says it's funny. The only way you can find out is to READ!

What happens when you stick our favourite Harry Potter characters in the Big Brother House without the use of magic? Mayhem, angst and a dash of the ol' ROMANCE, no doubt!

Daphne Greengrass has always felt that she was the most overlooked, happiest Slytherin. However, now that she has left Hogwarts, joined the Aurors and is trailing the remaining Death Eaters across the Sahara Desert, everything seems to be going pear shaped. This wasn't supposed to happen!

"Grease and Oil on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"``"It is Princess Hermione, my dear Queen."``"WHAT?!?! How can this be? I won the '91 Beauty Pageant of Faraway Land! I am an ex-Miss Faraway. And I am also a former Miss Fairytale Universe! No way that little brat is more attractive than me!"``Snow White and the Seven Dwarves - The Harry Potter Version!``With Narcissa Malfoy as Queen/Witch, Hermione as Snow White, and Grease and Oil (you should know who) as the mirror!

A few years after Harry Potter defeated the Dark Lord, the fugitive Lucius Malfoy mysteriously appears dead on his own doorstep, supposedly killed by one of his fellow disbanded Death Eaters. The plot thickens when Draco Malfoy shows no emotion over the unsolved murder of his father, but he has his hands full with other things- such as Ginny Weasley. But she's not exactly the type of girl he can take home to mom, at least not his mom. Features homicidal mother-in-laws and in character Draco. D/G pairing, Post-Hogwarts

Welcome to a segment of Interviews, the DADA Teachers Talk Show! This sickly show is like a combination of a super cheesy David Letterman and Oprah Winfrey show with your twice as cheesy host Cornelius Fudge! This show is the reason talkshows and Harry Potter do NOT mix.

Vernon Dursley observes as three-year-old Harry Potter is visited by a kindly elf on Christmas Night. Based on "The Night Before Christmas."

O/C: Chester B. Humpledincker: The horrific mistake Mother Nature didn't want to admit to; a face that would make Voldemort grimace, and a brain that could only be summed up by one word: deficient. The anti-hero the world hates to love...

Harry is angsty, Voldie's a pip. There's fighting and crying but no big field trip. It's funny, it's lovey, but there's true gross gore. There's Hagrid and Hedwig and Mary-Sueness galore. Ron and Hermione stop by for a second, I can't think of another rhyme so I'll just stop.

Harry is King of the Wizards. He and his knights of the Head Table, including Sir Aragorn, Sir Boromir, Sir Ron, and Sir Gilderoy, undertake the Quest for the One Ring.

What happens when I lock Harry, Hermione, Ron, Draco, and Ginny in a room? Chaos ensues and our characters go nuts! Who will join them?

Hogwarts' lawyer visits to sort out a semester of student problems, such as a student with a localized growing portion and a girl with a werewolf boyfriend. He finds nothing that a little bribery or blackmail can't resolve.

Harry/Ron, Hermione/Pansy, Crabbe/Goyle, Draco/Snape, Filch/Peeves/Mrs. Norris, Creevey Bros./Giant Squid, Mary Sue/Kyle Dustruffle... hey, wait a minute... who's Kyle Dustruffle?````The Wizard Chess Slash Series is a slash satire that parodies every slash pairing and ship out there in fandom. If it's been written about, it's made fun of in this series.

One lonely night after the Dark Lord's Defeat, Professor Snape decides he wants to have sex. As blunt as that.

Drusilla Quigley returns once more to interview none other than Albus Dumbledore. So what makes everyone's favorite headmaster tick? Miss Quigley is about to find out, and she's going to have an interesting article to write indeed...

Yes, it's that time again...the Trio are back at Hogwarts, and it seems that a 'special event' has been organised for the amusement of students and teachers alike. Expect character manipulation by the All-Knowing Authoress, random references to certain SHIPs, and the return of a certain winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile award...

Harry Potter, Arthur Weasley, his son Ronald Weasley, HIS wife Hermione Granger, and THEIR son Viktor all go to the Dursley house for a barbeque. To their surprise, there is not much of a fight from the awful family. "Dudley was everywhere, covering every wall in a mosaic of constantly more recent and much larger (due to the size of the boy in question) photos. In fact, it seemed almost as if a group of girls came and decorated the room as if Dudley was actually the lead singer in a pop group."

Songfic to "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" from "The Lion King." Harry appears as Simba!

What if, all the world's a stage, and the characters of HP fan fiction are actors? This is the story of what happened between 'gigs', when characters meet in the Great Hall to share their complaints about how they're portrayed. Dumbledore has been rooted out of retirement after 'dying', James has doubts about Harry's paternity, Remus rants, and Voldemort does a Gilderoy. In short, mayhem ensues. These are not Jo's sterling characters. This group of players has been forced to enact some of the most atrocious parts in fan fiction-dom, and they're all primed and ready for the casting grouch.

Hermione Granger wakes up one morning and realises that she is in love with... who?! You'll just have to find out! With a worn out plot line and several spoilers for Astronomy Tower fics, this is a lovely parody by the lovely hanet... I LOVE SEVERUS SNAPE... *coughcough* (Hr/Everyone)

A humourous fic about Hermione, Ron and a misunderstanding over wizardporn.

This is the sequel to "The Adventures of Lord Voldemort." Join Lord Voldemort, Bella, Lucius, Narcissa, Crabbe, Goyle, and Rabastan on the European jaunt of their lives! This is from Lord Voldemort's point of view in diary form. A little random. A LOT of crazy.

Harry appears in the desert, naked. I don't need to say anything else about this story.

Oliver Wood: More singers, more failures and more… Gilderoy Lockhart! Weekdays, seven to eight on your Weally Wunderful Wizawds Watcher! And remember... more Gilderoy!

It’s a parody.. It’s a soap opera, it’s... Till Death Do We Angst. If you enjoy the popular works of Cassie Claire and... Cassie Claire, then join us for a delightful series of Mary Sue mashing, bad plot smashing, song fic bashing installments. With each chapter comes more laughs, love and angst. This is the collaboration of Director’s Cut, Pedestrial Trink and Reluctantly, Mesmer. This is... Till Death Do We Angst.

Jerry Springer invites some Dark Lords and their mistresses over to drag out the dirty laundry and find out just what makes these women hot for the villain.

The tale of an Unspeakable, and her most recent assigment: Tracking down the most dangerous 'Mary Sue' of their time. Follow Agent Karin Airbourne through a world of the deranged Mary Sues we rarely see and try really hard not to think about, either.

Determined to get at least one Weasley, Fudge arrests Ron for killing a Death Eater in battle. During court, when told to give his last words, Ron decides to sing "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen. Harry has ADHD; Ginny is constantly being ignored; Draco is epitome of his fandom; many girls faint, cry, and scream; and a few ships get poked at.

This is just a quick "what if" list I came up with one very dead day at work. Come on, you know you love "what if" scenarios! Ninja Master Dumbledore makes a rare appearance.

Here is your chance to watch Mary-Sues get ripped to shreds! Cliches, bad plots, and weird characterisation that only looks normal to the eye of the criminally insane (oh, and the author). ````You can tell it's good because ff.net deleted it!

Isn't the title self explanatory? Harry's secret is out! All of Hogwarts is soon to know that he is gay! With this Hermione becomes Harry's fag hag.

Poor, good, noble, beneficent Harry Potter. All he did was steal some ham and for that he ended up with nineteen hours of detention. It just isn't fair. How is he going to deal with the injustice of the world? By singing, of course! Yes, it's finally happened -- Harry Potter meets Les Miserables! Hold your noses and step inside.

The house of Slytherin isn't doing so well these days (these days being known, of course, as the era of the Marauders). It needs a new style, a new voice...what it needs is a revolution. Of course, every revolution needs a leader, and who better to lead this particular revolution than a young Severus Snape? The result of this need for a new way of life is a five-member group known as the Slythies...Slytherin's answer to the Marauders. In their capable (and diverse) hands, the Slytherin house thrives, indulging in extravagance, rebellion, and familiar musical numbers...`` But can this freedom last once the Slythies are forced to confront their individual demons?`` Get ready for laughter, tears...and spontaneous musical numbers!

Harry and the gang go on Jenny Jones. Why are they there? Who brought them? Can they hide the fact that they're wizards from America?

Harry has a short conversation with Hermione. Ron is missing so Hermione can say what she thinks, and knows. Written by somebody who hates Ron. Intensely.

Ever wondered what it'd be like if Harry Potter was a secret agent? Or if James Bond was a wizard? No? Good, then I'm the only one deranged enough to think of it! This book shall chronicle the adventures of Jarry Ponder in his first year at Pigpimples School of Witchcraft and Gadgetry. What more do I need to say? It's got all your favorite characters- Mumblemore, \/01~~)3/\/®7, and of course Jarry himself.

Little-noticed second spoiler briefly appearing on AOL before the Ministry of Magic threatened an Unforgiveable Curse on the perpetrators.

It's Harry's seventh year and Christmas is here! But Harry is anxious about the looming terror of the Horcrux hunt; so anxious that he blows up at Ron and Hermione, wishing that he didn't exist! It will take convincing from a certain deceased headmaster to show Harry just how valuable he really is! Based on Frank Capra's classic film.

A misunderstood boy attempts to depart from the mortal realm (read: he throws himself off a tall object)...will he succeed, or will that special someone save his life?

Inspired by the Bert and Ernie Sing-Along LP! Casting Severus Snape as Bert and Harry Potter as Ernie! (Bert and Ernie of Sesame Street.) Warning: Harry is wildly OOC. Snape is fairly OOC.

When Neville comes across a strange and interesting plant, will it bring him the girl of his dreams, or the destruction of the wizarding world? Romance, suspense, and hilarity blossom in this parody of the musical "Little Shop Of Horrors." Includes Neville/Ginny, Singing!Snape, a sexy Mandrake named GinnyII, and a very reluctant Trio as backup singers.

Sup yo? I be Hairy Pimper, in one of da four crackhouses of Ho-warts Elementary skoo. But mah rents, dey be mad stupid yo, dey don't understand whatta fine-ass biatch dey got fo' uh son. Like here, at da breakfast table, dey be all...

It's Harry's second year at Hogwarts, and Severus Snape continues to serve his years at Hogwarts. But students are getting frozen, and he's getting tired of being the one to solve everyone's problems. Featuring a lovely song from Professor Sprout. A parody of Boublil and Schonberg's musical "Les Miserables."

The final battle with a twist.

Sirius and Remus decide to lighten up the Order's mood by doing a humourous little spoof of Harry and a dementor.

Have you ever wondered what would happen had Harry been a girl? All the drama, hormones, uncertainties of Harry Potter...in a girl's point of view!

Snape and McGonagall attempt to revive the Dueling Club at Hogwarts.

Songfic to Vanessa Williams "Saved the Best For Last". Harry comes into the common room during one of Hermione's study sessions feeling particularly emotional about a girl. Hermione gets upset and tells Hermione just exactly what she thinks about Harry.

Ever wondered what Harry Potter and his pals would say if they could read fan fiction? That's right, they'd probably sue for defamation of character. And just to ensure that event never happens, I have penned a letter for them that outlines precisely why we fan fiction writers are so unbearably cruel to them...

JK Rowling retires for a little while and the characters are stuck with a VERY STRANGE author. But things don't go out the way she planned...

Seven Hogwarts students are afflicted with the seven deadly sins. Oh, the torment! Featuring Draco/coffee as the main ship. Seriously.