George Harrison

J.K. Rowling has grown frazzled from having every second of her life devoured by the menace that she created, Harry Potter. In a desperate attempt to end all her stress, she writes the very last chapter of the Harry Potter series.

Excerpt: "Eskimo girl, won't you come out tonight, come out tonight, come out tonight?" Ron sang to himself as he made his way outside into the two foot deep snow (and it was still snowing). "Wohoo!" Ron rolled around in the bitter cold for maybe three minutes before he had to come back in to get some more clothes on. "I almost forgot to put on my lucky underwear!" he shouted as he came back in and ran up the Grand Staircase to the Gryffindor Tower...

Harry goes to the magical school of magical magic (Hogwarts) for another Harry year.

It's Ron's fourth year and his 15th birthday! Yes, we're goin' to a party, party!

When Hagrid forgets to gather the Christmas trees to put up around Hogwarts, he employs the help of Draco, Potter, Weasley, and Granger.

Double Fantasy: the long-awaited sequel to both "The Cruel Fate of the Innocent" and "The Dueling Club Revisited". Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, and all the other people that you'd expect in any respectable humorfic come together for Christmas dinner.

Harry, in a fit of desperation and a thirst for knowledge, goes to Dumbledore's bedroom in the middle of the night to inquire him about a city's name.

An account of a weird dream that Harry had one day in the History of Magic class.

A short story in which Ron and Harry (mostly Harry) confront mood-swing!Hermione.

The Beaters: a legend, a phenomenon. The rock group that forever ``changes rock and roll. This is their story.

Harry and the gang try in vain to figure out what year they are set in.

Snape and McGonagall attempt to revive the Dueling Club at Hogwarts.

When George accidentally smashes the Snitch at a Quidditch match, the whole school goes into hysterics. Read it or George will smash you, too.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione move to darkest Oregon in the Heart Of The Country to get away from city life.

I was inspired by the 'Can't buy me love' thing sent in, where a reviewer said 'Do one on Paperback Writer', so I said, 'Heck, why not.' I hope someone has not already done this. Anyway, it's loosely based on the lyrics to the hit Beatles song 'Paperback Writer'.