The Dueling Club Revisited

Ah, the Dueling Club. The club that brought so many hours of enjoyment to the students of years past had gone dormant, and was nearly awakened and killed again with the coming of Professor Lockhart. Well, three years after that folly, Professors Snape and McGonagall decided to start the grand old game up once again.

All students over the age of thirteen were invited to join, and those who wanted to join were asked to come to the Great Hall for their first lesson. After all of the students had crowded into the Hall, Snape stood on the teacher's table and said, "Okay, everyone, we're going to learn you how to fight."

McGonagall pushed Snape off of the table and said, "What he meant to say was that we will be teaching you the fine sport of dueling."

"Ah, yes."

"Now," Professor McGonagall said, pulling out her wand, "I shall demonstrate a few simple dueling hexes--"

"Oo, oo! Let me show them!" Snape interrupted, jumping up and down with his wand high in the air.

McGonagall's facial expression turned to annoyance, and her voice was in a tone that most students didn't feel comfortable with. "Fine, Severus. Have it your way."

"Okay!" Snape jumped up on the Slytherin table with a big smile on his face. "I need a volunteer!"

No student dared to raise their hand.

"Okay, I'll just have to pick one of you..." Snape looked around the crowd and then pointed at a small third year Hufflepuff girl with long brown hair and big blue eyes. "You there! Girl! Come here!"

The scared looking girl slowly walked over to where Snape was now standing, which was off the table in a clearing in the crowd. She nervously chewed her nails as she stood there under the watch of every one else.

"Now," Snape said happily, "what is your name?"

The girl was frozen stiff. "Umm..."

"Do you have a name?" Snape asked patronizingly, provoking some laughs from the Slytherins.

"My name is Cyan," the girl said pusillanimously.

"Two points from Hufflepuff!" Snape shouted.

"Why?" the girl timidly asked.

"I don't like your name."

Cyan bowed her head with dejection.

"Now, first, you hold your wand out in front of you, parallel with the floor... Do as I say girl!"

The girl held out her wand as Snape had instructed, and Snape did the same.

"Now, you basically block my shots." Snape began to swish his wand at the girl, and she tried desperately to move her wand to block the fierce slashes. Every once and a while, a click could be heard when the two wands met. While the poor Hufflepuff girl was barely able to keep her face turned towards the action, Snape swished his wand around at her expertly. Suddenly, with a great thwack!, Snape hit the girl on her side and shouted, "Touché!" Snape jumped up on the table and started to cabbage patch, screaming, "I won! I won! I beat her!" McGonagall climbed up onto the table as well and slapped the greasy-haired man, then pushed him off the table once more.

"Don't listen to that loon!" she said to the students, who were beginning to file out of the Great Hall.

The students began to come back into the Hall somewhat.

"Another volunteer!" shouted Snape, thrusting his wand at the crowd.

"Severus!" McGonagall quickly walked up to the Potions Master and was about to slap him silly once more.

"Wait!" Snape shouted, shielding his face with his hands. "Give me another chance!"

McGonagall hesitated for a moment, then said exasperatedly, "Okay!"

With another big smile plastered on his face, Snape looked through the crowd. He then saw who his next opponent would be.

"Potter! Front and center!"

Harry slowly pushed his way into the clearing where Snape was and pulled out his wand. Beads of perspiration dripped down the young boy's face as he rolled his wand between his fingers.

"You saw how to begin?" Snape asked him.

"Yes."

"Then let's go!"

The two held out their wands parallel to the floor; then, without warning, both of them began to wave their wands at each other violently. Snape went on the offensive right away: he put both hands on his wand, held it behind his head and came down forcefully at Harry's own head, only to be blocked by Harry's wand. A struggle ensued as the two stood, wands grinding against each other. Snape was pushing with his hickory wand as hard as he could on Harry's holly, slowly inching the two towards Harry's face. Snape was now sweating profusely, and as he hovered over Harry, drops of sweat began to fall on Harry's face; a few went into his eyes.

"Argh! My eyes!" Harry quickly rolled over, holding his hands over his eyes, letting Snape fall with a thud to the ground. Snape looked to his side with a scowl at Harry, who was now forcefully blinking. Both of them stood at the same time, glowering at each other, Harry with red eyes.

"Bum rush him!" Ron shouted at Harry from the crowd.

Harry, wand pointed forward, charged at Snape. Snape grabbed his wand, one hand over the other, and thrust it towards the ground.

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

With a blinding flash and a deafening blast, there was a huge explosion from the point where Snape's wand was driven. While the crowd was not hurt, Harry flew across the room and hit the wall, a bit dazed. Snape laughed an evil laugh, then slowly walked up to Harry. He was about to give the winning blow when Harry lunged from the ground at Snape and sent him on the floor.

"A million points from Gryffindor!" Snape shouted lividly, throwing Harry off of him.

Snape got up and tried to grab Harry, but the Boy-Who-Lived scuttled under the Ravenclaw table. Snape threw himself on top of one of the benches and grabbed the end of Harry's robe as he tried and failed to crawl out of the other side.

"Come back, you little bugger!"

Harry began to scream as Snape pulled him out from under the table by the robe.

McGonagall ran up to Snape and slapped him. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm teaching a dueling class!"

"You seem to be trying to kill our students!" McGonagall replied hotly.

"If it comes to that, then so be it!"

McGonagall looked around to apologize to the students for Snape's childish behavior, but they had already left, trying to escape the insanity of it all.