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Harry Potter meets the Princess Bride - warning: it will make very little sense if you've never see/read The Princess Bride. I suggest you do, it's excellent. Anyway, slightly random and mad, it's romantic and sweet. I think so.

Words: 5,909
Chapters: 1
Hits: 395

Remember how Hagrid suggested he might find a lady friend for Grawp? Well, what if he did? Warning: if you are not amused by smutty innuendoes then do not, I repeat, do not read this fic.

Words: 761
Chapters: 1
Hits: 395
Dress Up by sygirlvalor
02/28/2005

Poor little Harry. Always having the bad hair, the big ugly clothes, those horrible glasses. But it doesn't have to be that way, you know.

Words: 2,566
Chapters: 1
Hits: 395

The long-awaited sequel to 'Suit You Mr. Potter!' Still good for a giggle even if you've never seen the Fast Show.

Words: 1,105
Chapters: 1
Hits: 394

Harry finds his best friends irritated with him, Voldemort reveals a mysterious secret about Harry's past, and Harry is horrible at U.S. geography!

Words: 3,318
Chapters: 2
Hits: 394

Draco is poor, Harry helps the helpless, and Draco really wants to kill him.

Words: 2,687
Chapters: 1
Hits: 394

Once upon a time…is such a cliché. Ginny, Parvati, Lavender…all of my girlfriends have started their autobiographies with those four little words. I hate cliches; they’re just overused, too cheap for my taste. Every fair maiden from here to THE END can use that line.

Words: 1,232
Chapters: 1
Hits: 394

A parody. Harry finds a very peculiar and perilous handbook, and travels through an unbelievable alternate universe where everything is upside-down.

Words: 4,002
Chapters: 1
Hits: 394

A story filled with cunning and deceit, romantic intrigue and heartbreak, and American Exchange Students. The sequel to "A Fanfic Unlike Any Other Fanfic" and based on many cliches in the fandom, mostly those about OCs. This includes Harry/OC, Draco/OC/ another OC (no slash), Lucius/OC, Lily/Narcissa, James/OC/Draco (no slash). As you can tell, it gets... strange....

Words: 3,614
Chapters: 1
Hits: 393
Plum by RavenRosebud
11/16/2004

Snape meets with Dumbledore and Harry serves a detention.

Words: 2,682
Chapters: 1
Hits: 393
Hogwarts Air by Silver_Stag
10/06/2003

Welcome aboard Hogwarts Airlines! Please keep all magic out of the aisle and make sure that there are no loose bolts in your brain. Thank you for flying with us, we hope you live to make the return trip!

Words: 1,012
Chapters: 1
Hits: 393

A one-shot attempt at sixth year. Featuring weird weather, corny poetry, and some sheep costumes. H/L.

Words: 1,767
Chapters: 1
Hits: 393
Magical Karma by willysunny
12/09/2003

Harry and Draco have joined a new Hogwart's dueling club. Harry is winning and has just been tipped off on a spell by a Weasley twin. Draco is desperate to beat him. The next thing that happens is complete "Magical Karma".

Words: 1,974
Chapters: 1
Hits: 392
Mastermind by Trillian Black
09/26/2003

Colin Creevey appears on Mastermind. Can you guess what his specialist subject will be?

Words: 523
Chapters: 1
Hits: 392
The Wonder Year by Srox4690
05/29/2003

What happens when our famous Hero goes through puberty? Well, with the help of his best friends and a new love he is in for a wild ride!

Words: 1,609
Chapters: 1
Hits: 391
Drop/Add by maggiefields
01/19/2003

Hagrid's had enough of Malfoy's antics in Care of Magical Creatures.

Words: 776
Chapters: 1
Hits: 391

Anyways, you know when you get a clog in your sink and you don't know what to do? You run to your parents or the unclogging stuff under the sink. Well, imagine you didnt have either. What would you do then? Ron and Harry have a suggestion that you might want to think about.

Words: 1,912
Chapters: 1
Hits: 390

When Harry walked into the Great Hall at the start of his sixth year, his entire world turned upside-down.

Words: 2,208
Chapters: 1
Hits: 390

A sequel to "A Contraceptive Controversy". Frank Longbottom finds a certain Muggle innovation lying around the castle and has difficulty identifying it. Fortunately, the Marauders are there to help.

Words: 2,096
Chapters: 1
Hits: 389
?s by Trillian Black
01/06/2004

Not everybody's gone mad, just a large group. Unfortunately Harry is part of it. Could a pair of ?s be to blame?

Words: 785
Chapters: 1
Hits: 389
Flying Lessons by the_verb
03/17/2004

Filius Flitwick's first experience on the Quidditch Pitch in the 1930s was certainly not what he expected. The same goes for Minerva McGonagall and Santiago Sinistra.

Words: 1,078
Chapters: 1
Hits: 389

Hogwarts has turned into a giant love triangle! Harry discovers secret loves between his friends and enemies as well as discovering his own love. Christmas at Hogwarts is very different this year; from morning to night there are surprises left and right. Harry/Hermione, Ron/McGonagall, Neville/Snape, Draco/Goyle/Crabbe/Blaise, Cho/house-elf/giant squid.

Words: 3,958
Chapters: 1
Hits: 388

Cedric Diggory is dead and Voldemort is back. It is up to a Hufflepuff and two red-headed Gryffindors to boost morale throughout Hogwarts...

Words: 1,351
Chapters: 1
Hits: 388
After the OWLs by Flighty
03/10/2004

The original Marauders have finished their OWLs early.... What will happen? And what happens when some NEW marauders at Hogwarts finish their OWLs?

Words: 892
Chapters: 1
Hits: 388

The Fat Lady has a nice chat with a stranded Gryffindor. Have you ever wondered about the pink-silk-dressed guardian of Gryffindor Tower? Here is a (small) part of her story.

Words: 831
Chapters: 1
Hits: 386

Malfoy is drawing on the walls, Ron supports him in his artistic endeavours, Harry tries to play the hero, Hermione wants to be the hero, Fred and George go to the library, and chaos ensues! All thanks to that one little Plot Bunny... [Semi-crackfic]

Words: 936
Chapters: 1
Hits: 385

Harry is out of clean socks, so he pops off to the laundromat, where he runs into his arch-nemesis Voldemort! Is Voldemort waiting there to kill Harry? Or is he just doing his laundry? Will black always be in style?

Words: 779
Chapters: 1
Hits: 385

Where Fred and George have a brilliant plan, Ginny is annoying, and Ron quietly has a nervous breakdown. Written for triatha_ron, 2007.

Words: 2,621
Chapters: 1
Hits: 385

James, Sirius, Remus, and Remus's girlfriend Rebecca set up a prank during an awards ceremony that they deem will be the best joke Hogwarts has ever seen.

Words: 2,053
Chapters: 1
Hits: 385
Red by RavenRosebud
11/16/2004

Harry and Severus continue their relationship and Harry comes out to his friends with very interesting consequences.

Words: 2,502
Chapters: 1
Hits: 384

There's more to the Interruptions Saga, as it's come to be known. But, things are not what they seem! The marauders and Lily show you some of their most embarrassing moments, including James and Lily's wedding disaster. There is also a bit of rambling, but that's purely my fault for not editing what was said. This is your last chance to learn the further secrets of the marauders! Enter at your own peril!

Words: 6,972
Chapters: 1
Hits: 384

When great heroes are spoken of, how shall I pass over you, oh Harry Potter? A hymn of praise to the Boy Who Lived, written in the style of the Homeric Hymns.

Words: 1,666
Chapters: 1
Hits: 383

Filch. He's mean. He's cruel. He's, overall, quite unintelligent. He collects Technicolor Kitten Plates. So what happens when he meets another mean, cruel, quite unintelligent, Technicolor Kitten Plate collector? Read and find out!!!

Words: 2,377
Chapters: 1
Hits: 383

Your favorite girls are back again! This time it's Halloween and the girls have more than a few tricks up their sleeves...

Words: 946
Chapters: 1
Hits: 383

Well, basically, this is making fun of all Mary Sue-ness. And no, ShangDuck13 and Ava Rain were NOT HIGH when this was written. Anyway, using her beautifulness and perfect hair flippage, the ultimate Mary Sue saves the day. Or something.

Words: 2,452
Chapters: 1
Hits: 382

My sequel to my fic "Unknown Fame." Harry knows how famous he is in the Harry Potter books that his Muggle friend, Jo (to us the wonderful JK Rowling), wrote, but when he brings one of the movies home, things become so much worse for him.

Words: 2,069
Chapters: 1
Hits: 382
The Errand Day by CodyBrown
06/17/2003

Harry escapes for one glorious morning from Privet Drive and runs errands alone.

Words: 1,943
Chapters: 1
Hits: 381

Nobody knows exactly why it happened. Perhaps it was the depletion of the ozone layer surrounding the Earth. Perhaps it was the knowledge of the upcoming doom about to befall the school, due to an attack from the Dark Lord. Or maybe it was just really, really hot outside. Whatever the reason, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry went insane.

Words: 1,043
Chapters: 1
Hits: 381
What? by Stradd
07/12/2003

Takes place sometime towards the end of GoF. Harry's been ba-a-ad and Cho doesn't like it. Ginny Weasley comes along and secrets are revealed. The girls are having their night out and Harry has his boys(only) night out with none other than...

Words: 538
Chapters: 1
Hits: 381
Barbie-Roth! by Snowpoke
11/30/2004

Ron and Harry are thrown into the world of Muggle babysitting after asking Hermione for help one too many times. Now they must play Final Fantasy VII (or some incarnation of it) with her little cousin. Let's face it: Muggles are weird. Especially little ones with too much time on their hands.

Words: 1,745
Chapters: 1
Hits: 380

Christmas. Of all the holidays the Marauders have spent together, Christmas was the best one! So, why should this one be any different? Just because Lucius and Snape are staying at Hogwarts this year doesn't mean things will go wrong, right? WRONG!

Words: 1,087
Chapters: 1
Hits: 380

I’m short. Extremely, undeniably short. Shorter than short. I’m guessing that you have probably never known someone as short as me. I mean, even my littlest students are taller than me! It is really very pathetic when you have to stand on a stack of textbooks to see over your desk. And to need to stand on seven whole Charms textbooks?

Words: 526
Chapters: 1
Hits: 379

A big, bearded wizard holding a large cardboard box stood nearby. The box was emitting rasping noises.

Words: 740
Chapters: 1
Hits: 379

Old Man Fate works hard to keep things working in the world. It doesn't help that his assistant, Cupid, who makes couples fall in love, likes to take matters into his own hands. So what happens when he decides Harry and Draco should no longer hate?

Words: 1,615
Chapters: 1
Hits: 379
Best of Enemies by Forgotten
05/14/2004

How could Harry and Draco become friends? They can't! Maybe, just maybe, they can be the best of enemies instead.

Words: 2,999
Chapters: 1
Hits: 378

Snape's allergies to one of the ingredients in the Wolfsbane potion causes his problems to multiply.

Words: 2,023
Chapters: 1
Hits: 378

Unexpected visitors from other universes throw Hogwarts into confusion. Will Harry save the day once again? Will the visitors save Harry from a fate worse than death? And who's this other villain with red eyes?

Words: 4,463
Chapters: 2
Hits: 378

How ironic. Some of our favorite characters have just gotten diaries. On the last day of term. First chapter, Harry, Ginny, and Hermione. Who's next?

Words: 715
Chapters: 1
Hits: 377

Words: 2,622
Chapters: 1
Hits: 377

Just a short parody from a scene when the famous trio found the writings on the wall[the second film]

Words: 511
Chapters: 1
Hits: 377

Ever wanted to know what it's like inside the head of a Malfoy? Follow the life of sixteen-year-old Draco as he goes on a voyage of self discovery. Enter his mind and hear his thoughts about family, friends and a certain Dark Lord....

Words: 734
Chapters: 1
Hits: 377

Bored while JKR writes the next novel, the characters try to kill some between-books down time with a disastrous baseball game.

Words: 1,045
Chapters: 1
Hits: 377

The sequel to "Cliche? No Way"! Draco is still living with the Weasleys, who find some very weird porcupines, and they discover Ron's secret...! Also, the author writes a very long and confusing paragraph that has absolutely no impact on the story, therefore concluding this lame summary.

Words: 1,879
Chapters: 1
Hits: 376

In which Dumbledore has a Big Secret for our hero, Little Harry. Suffice to say, our hero is a bit less than impressed. Oh, and someone faints.

Words: 881
Chapters: 1
Hits: 376
Signs by Tegan
08/14/2002

Crop-circles, henges, Buckingham Palace encased (only by a third) ``in a briar patch, and the whole of London painted red. The Apocalypse? No, no, ``something more sinister. Such as the dread Hogwarts Seventh Year Pranks.

Words: 5,101
Chapters: 1
Hits: 375
School Time by Sharp Tongued
12/10/2004

In which Ginny is nuts, Draco is terrified, Ron is hiding from someone, and the teacher goes into shock. Just another day in Wizarding primary school.

Words: 2,253
Chapters: 1
Hits: 375
100 Miles Away by Miss Kitty
02/24/2003

Songfic. After losing her parents to Voldemort, Hermione leaves England for New York, but not without wishing for one more moment with Ron. Will she be able to go back to him before she loses him forever?

Words: 849
Chapters: 1
Hits: 375

Colin Creevey and Draco Malfoy decide that, because of betrayal from woman-kind, they need to become Death Eaters. Because it will be really angst-ish. But little do they know, the Death Eaters are more twisted than anyone could have ever imagined.

Words: 3,078
Chapters: 1
Hits: 374

Divination- The Art of fortune telling. Well, there wouldn't be any Divination if there weren't any fortunes to be told, right? So who decides all these fortunes, who decides the life of our unexpected heroes? No, I'm not talking about a cookie. Join our dear friends Harry, Ron, Hermione, and other people who shouldn't have been there but have been dragged along anyway as they accidentally take a surprising and comical journey to find out.

Words: 710
Chapters: 1
Hits: 374

Arthur and Molly are blessed with their first little bundle of joy, but is parenthood as easy as they expected it to be? Of course it isn't, that much is obvious.

Words: 885
Chapters: 1
Hits: 374
Pink by ~*Sparky*~
02/24/2004

“You would look far more dangerous had you not dipped your hair into your breakfast, Padfoot,” said Remus, propping himself on his elbows. ``Sirius slowly brought his hand to his head, and touched the ends, the sticky bits clinging to his hand. He let out a howl, and met Remus’s eyes, horrified. ``“My HAIR!”

Words: 832
Chapters: 1
Hits: 374

And here we are with another round of enchanted snowballs for your reading pleasure! Coming to a computer near you this December, it's the Great Filk Wars, Gryffindor Mistletoe, and the Stuffed Elf Janitor! Stay tuned for more snowballs this December and January.

Words: 567
Chapters: 1
Hits: 373
Trash Bags by Mary Weasley
06/17/2003

It's another amusing karaoke session with Lavender! What will the crowd do?

Words: 779
Chapters: 1
Hits: 373

Harry is quite fed up with how J.K. Rowling writes his life story. The only solution can be to fire her, but when he starts writing his memoirs, he finds it isn't easy to tell his story from his own eyes... Especially when he lets his friends edit it... (Co-author: Marrietta Malfoy.)

Words: 1,867
Chapters: 1
Hits: 372
Finding Hedwig by Eracya
04/07/2004

Harry and Hedwig star in the spinoff of Finding Nemo.

Words: 560
Chapters: 1
Hits: 372
What's in a Name? by FayJay
08/01/2005

Mrs Norris is a singularly improbable name for a cat. Unless one happens to be a Jane Austen fan...

Words: 746
Chapters: 1
Hits: 372

Remus is practicing spells one day when Sirius comes in with a red face and hidden hand.

Words: 1,023
Chapters: 1
Hits: 371

It's time for the Hogwarts Talent Show for a new year. Acts include 'Return of the Dead' and 'Harry and the Prefects'. A must-read for slash fans! H/G, H/D. Character death!

Words: 610
Chapters: 1
Hits: 370

Voldie in love?!?!? But with whom? You'll never guess who, and you'll never guess how! And, with infusions of Monty Python and the Holy Grail and LOTR, how can you go wrong?

Words: 944
Chapters: 1
Hits: 369

After Dumbledore's death, Hermione gets her first official Order assignment. Babysitting Draco Malfoy! Banter, hexes, Weasley products and craziness ensue. Dramione love/war story.

Words: 4,417
Chapters: 2
Hits: 369
Hero by dreamergirl
01/23/2003

Songfic to Hero from the Spider-Man soundtrack. Harry reminisces about his life as a 'hero' and his feelings for a certain someone. Takes place at the beginning of Harry's 7th year.

Words: 1,001
Chapters: 1
Hits: 369

Harry is missing, Hermione is worried, Draco is being insufferable and Ron’s got a theory.... It’s just another day at Hogwarts.

Words: 27,238
Chapters: 1
Hits: 369

Sirius hasn't been himself since reaching Grimmauld Place. Remus decides to do something about it. Hilarity ensues.

Words: 1,262
Chapters: 1
Hits: 369
Madame Maxime and Me by bob
12/07/2003

Parody of songfics and weird pairings. Set to "My Beloved Monster" by the Eels. It's weird and disturbing, just to warn you.

Words: 516
Chapters: 1
Hits: 369
Arbitrary by MRBenner
06/01/2003

A day in the life of the sixth year Gryffindors. Involves potions disasters, Chocolate Frog cards, and sneaking into the Slytherin dorm.

Words: 5,113
Chapters: 1
Hits: 369

Draco insults/injures a house elf and is punished in the most unbearable way. Chaos and comedy ensue. Will he survive and make it from Rags to Quiches?

Words: 745
Chapters: 1
Hits: 368

Ginny is doing her homework late at night in Gryffindor Tower when suddenly she feel like she's being watched. Is someone there that shouldn't be there? Let's have our red-haired heroine find out.

Words: 542
Chapters: 1
Hits: 368

She's a witch, she's a witch... How do you know... She turns me into a newt.... Well if the truth be told, the scene really didn't go that way, but Monty Python had to work in our word. Monty Slytherin, however, were free to tell the truth about the Witch.

Words: 1,640
Chapters: 1
Hits: 368

Minerva McGonagall and Xiomara Hooch have been friends for a long time. But how long is a long time? What happens when they meet as young girls? Will two girls who are completely different ever get along?

Words: 2,013
Chapters: 1
Hits: 368

A pantomime version of Harry Potter. Cue bad jokes, silly songs, quotes and puns galore and the obligatory custard pies. The plot - Voldemort plans to take over the world, Draco crossdresses and Ron collects Happy Meal toys. All together now: "Oh no he doesn't!"

Words: 6,572
Chapters: 1
Hits: 367

Mrs. Norris goes prowling to find students breaking the rules. Unexpectedly, she makes a new friend.

Words: 942
Chapters: 1
Hits: 367

Gilderoy Lockhart arrives at Hogwarts after three years in St. Mungo's. He has got his memory back, partially atleast. So who does he see in the portrait? And pray tell, why does he fall in love with that person?

Words: 1,078
Chapters: 1
Hits: 367

At the annual Order reunion, Fred and George's children decide to follow in their fathers' footsteps... Chaos and general silliness ensues! Mild George/Alicia, Fred/Angelina, mentions of Lee/Katie.

Words: 1,085
Chapters: 1
Hits: 367

Harry, Ron, and Hermione are on the train after their third year at Hogwarts, and Harry feels that he must have missed something in the movie. How did Professor Lupin know how to use that map?

Words: 507
Chapters: 1
Hits: 367

What happens when everyone we can think of decide that they are sexually deprived all at once? This, evidently. Featuring Kelso!Draco, sulking!Umbridge, dragqueen!Harry, and insane!Authorettes, this galactially stupid one-shot was written with alternating words. That explains a lot. Proof that there can be an R-rated humourfic.

Words: 544
Chapters: 1
Hits: 366
MacRon by Gromit
02/11/2003

MacRon wants nothing more than to be Heir of Gryffindor and he will stop at nothing to achieve that. This is a parody of Shakespeare's Macbeth and also makes fun of the cliched aspects of HP fan fics. Nothing is sacred... nothing at all! Staring Harry (Duncan), Viktor (Banquo), Hermione (Lady Macbeth), and Draco (Macduff) and the Desperate girls (Myrtle, Lavender, and Padma).

Words: 2,419
Chapters: 1
Hits: 366
Soul Maties by Bagge
03/09/2006

They are large, they are mean, they are Crabbe and Goyle. They are bullies and they are tired of playing the second fiddle. Time to get some real friends.

Words: 1,219
Chapters: 1
Hits: 365

It came to me when I found a picture of Draco sitting by the fire in the Slytherin Common room.

Words: 839
Chapters: 1
Hits: 365
The Journey by Fanny Toric
10/20/2005

Lupin and Snape are men on a mission, albeit one without any kind of thought-out plan. They're on their way to a small town somewhere in the Transylvanian mountains, but as for when they get there... well, they're just not all that certain about what they're actually supposed to be doing there. They are certain about one thing, however - there is no one they wouldn't rather be sent on a mission with than each other. ...But as we all know, it's not the goal but the journey there that matters! Right? Well, they're not thrilled about that, either.

Words: 12,198
Chapters: 1
Hits: 365

And so, another epilogue is upon us. This is an epilogue to Several Blushes and Cookies, but it's not neccessary to have read the others first. This is a new chapter where Malfoy makes a comeback of sorts and we find out why he's really wearing those dog tags.

Words: 3,148
Chapters: 1
Hits: 364

Flesh eating chickens have come to terrorize Hogwarts students, one Care of Magical Creatures class at a time. Of course, Harry and Draco are first.

Words: 563
Chapters: 1
Hits: 363
Lockhart's Diary by rubykate
04/03/2004

Lockhart kept a diary during the events of Chamber of Secrets, and here it is.

Words: 2,992
Chapters: 1
Hits: 363

Prequel to "Written on the Wind." Draco stumbles upon secrets, forgotten from long ago.

Words: 928
Chapters: 1
Hits: 363
Summertempt by Sadie
07/02/2002

What the Hogwarts ghosts get up to while the students and professors ``are away.

Words: 2,064
Chapters: 1
Hits: 363

It's not easy being a toad, especially when you belong to one Neville Longbottom.

Words: 602
Chapters: 1
Hits: 363
Death's Horcrux by dreamspell
01/08/2009

HP/Discworld crossover. Death is unimpressed with Voldemort's quest for immortality, especially when it involves his property, but is determined to be patient nevertheless. Voldemort is unimpressed with Death's interference and is most decidedly not going to be patient. The ensuing confrontation can only be described as "...FUN".

Words: 2,187
Chapters: 1
Hits: 362
Gifts by reena
10/10/2004

Draco is a very bad boy. Oh, he really is. But he luuuurves Pan-- Har-- stuff.

Words: 1,806
Chapters: 1
Hits: 362

It's the beginning of the end... and Sirius is already causing trouble! The often humorous trials and tribulations of the Marauders in their last year at Hogwarts, through their never-ending classes, raucous pranks, and numerous relationships. Established Sirius x Remus, James x Lily.

Words: 1,482
Chapters: 1
Hits: 361