The Omnipotent Authorettes and the Corridor of Perpetual Orgies

"Draco Malfoy is a large and thoroughly bastardly git," snarled Dumbledore. "And I hate his robes." He turned and farted onto Professor Hagrid. Hagrid snorted and groaned horribly loudly. Just then, Draco happened to be prancing by. He licked the hairball-flavored scum named Umbridge on the face, and sighed exquisitely happily.

Umbridge wet herself in anticipation. She made Draco moan loud enough that Dumbledore came out and screamed euphorically; Hagrid had to calm him by stroking his wrinkly nose.

Crabbe and Goyle were, of course, pigging out in their closet with corsets on. They heard the commotion of several orgasms occuring at once, and came out to investigate. They thought it looked like so much fun that they immediately started doing it themselves. Neville and Ginny occupied their closet soon after, because unlike anyone else in this story, they believed in a little discretion.

Cornelius Fudge walked in, and because he was cheating on his wife, started trying to seduce Professor McGonagall. She merely groaned pleasurably and said, "I'm already taken. Oh Snaaaaapey!! Have you brought the Viagra yet?" The other Author stared. She hadn't expected her friend to write THAT. The first one stated simply, "If I hadn't written it we all know you would have."

The Sane Author coughed. "Okay, back to our slightly pornographic but incredibly fun-to-write story!" The First Author sighed painfully, berating herself for ever letting the so-called "Sane" Author take so much credit. After all, it was HER idea to type this out in the first place.

Colin Creevey skipped Potions to walk down to the corridor where the communal orgy was going on. He decided to join in, so he dragged Cho Chang along. Harry sat on them, dressed in a silk camisole and lacy thong. "DRAAAAAAG!" he bellowed, grinning from ear to ear. Then the Authors decided that they were getting far too little action, so they walked out of their computer and into the scene.

They walked over to Draco (who was blissfully naked) and pulled him off of Umbridge, for he needed to have a bath so he could be rid of the Umbridge-cooties since he would otherwise give them to the Authors, who were already very aroused by his lack of coverings. They picked him up and dropped him splashingly into a conjured hot tub. They washed him while Umbridge sulked in the corner of her circular room.

"So now we do it?" asked Draco plaintively. "Now? How about now?"

"Okay," the Authors chorused.

So they did it in the hot tub, with everyone around them in blissful ignorance, because they were already getting laid with each other. The only one there who wasn't enjoying herself was Hedwig, who had come to deliver a stern letter from the Authors' mothers. She was, however, afraid of water, and wouldn't go near the hot tub. "Good on us, really," remarked one Author, and went back to snogging Draco, who was having a grand old time. "It may even be the best day of his life, you know, depending on what JK comes out with next," said the other Author quickly, intent on delivering her line but not wanting the "Sane" Author to have all the fun.

And they all shagged happily ever after.

The End