Have a Merry Christmas

Have a Merry Christmas

(It is Christmas Day and the Marauders are seen waiting for dinner at the end of their house table, in the company of Lily Evans, Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape. Professor Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Flitwick are sitting at the front of the house table, unaware, and unable to hear what is going to come next. All the Marauders are sitting in a row, while Lily and the evil ones are sitting across from them. The tragedy begins.)

Sirius: James, why is it that you're the only one here who actually can have a pretty good Christmas, while we (looks at S.S. and L.M.) must suffer? You at least have Lily!

Lily: (coughs) Err, sorry Sirius. (glares at James) It's never going to happen.

James: (completely ignores what she just said) I guess it's because of my gorgeous looks, Padfoot.

Sirius: (whispers) Err, James, that's not my name! (winks)

Peter: (whines) I'm hungry! Where's the bloody food?

S.S.: (rolls eyes) For the love of God! Is that all that imbecile pigs think about?

Lily: (gasps) Don't talk to him like that!

L.M.: (sarcasm and talking in a high pitched voice) Ooo! A wittle mudblood sticking up for you, Peter. You should be vewy pwoud!

Remus: (angrily stands up with wand pointed at L.M.) Open your big trap again and I'll blow your arse off! (points his wand at S.S.) That goes for you too Snivellus!

Sirius: (lowers Remus) Remy, calm yourself! But I think you should have also called them lousy miserable little-

James: (stands up) Hey! If there is going to be anyone who's supposed to be standing up for Lily, then it's me and not you two! No offense though.

Lily: (also stands up) I believe I can take care of myself, thank you very much! (storms off toward the front of the table to where the professors are. James sits back down in his chair, confused)

Sirius: (worried) She's not going to tell on us is she?

Remus: (sighs) Siri, not to be mean or anything, but, only a stupid idiot would think she would do that! Do you honestly think she would tell on (points to marauders) us? And for what may I ask?

Sirius: (offended) Well, sssooorrrrrrryyy!!!!

Peter: I'm still hungry! Remus, do you have any chocolate on you?

Remus: Even if I did, I wouldn't give you any! (Lily comes back to the table)

Lily: I asked Dumbledore what the hold-up was-

Peter: (eagerly leaning toward her) And?

Lily: (looks at him Peter funny then continues) He said that the food will come-

Peter: (can't contain himself) Spill woman!

Sirius: (aggravated) she would if you would stop interrupting! Continue Lily.

Lily: (smiles) Thanks Sirius! Anyway, the food will come after he says the famous phrase, "Merry Christmas!"

James: (rolls eyes) And when will that be by any chance?

Lily: I guess in a few minutes. Who knows......?

Sirius: (looks at Remus) Remy, are you gay?

Remus: (puts on a very disgusted face) No! (raises his eyebrow) Are you?

Sirius: (stand up) Do I look gay?

All (except Sirius): ......

Sirius: (glares at everyone) Well I'm not! ( sits down and mumbles ," But Peter is.")

Peter: (heard what Sirius just said) Hey!

Sirius: (fakes being confused) What?

Peter: You just called me gay!

Sirius: (still in the act) No I didn't!

James: (looks at Peter) Peter, for the last time, please stop accusing Sirius of things that he's innocent for!

Sirius: (hugs James) Thank you, James! I just have no clue why he does that to me! (sticks tongue out at Peter before he lets go of James)

D.: (stands up)

Lily: (looks at Peter) Hey Peter, the time has come!

Peter: (does victory dance in his chair) Yea!

L.M.: (aggravated) By God!

Remus: (points his wand at L.M.'s head) Remember what I told you? (L.M. rolls his eyes)

Sirius: (leans toward James) They better not over do it this year or Peter might wet himself!

D.: Merry Christmas! Let the feast begin! (plates fill with tons of food)

James: (looks across at Lily) So, when should we go out? (Lily shivers)

S.S.: (disgusted) Please not while people are eating!

Remus: (stands immediately and pulls out his wand) Wand at the ready. Avada Ke-

James: Remus!

Remus: (freezes) What?

James: Can't you kill them after dinner?

Remus: (puts wand away and sits back down) I guess, but I would prefer to do it now! Ok, fine! I won't!

Sirius: (glares at James) Crap! How could do tell Remus something like that? Thanks a lot!

Lily: (smiles) Lucius, would you mind passing me the gravy.

L.M.: (holds in his disgust and anger, while he smiles back) Which one?

Lily: Oh, um, the country gravy. (he looks confused) It's the white one with the black specks in it. (he passes it to her) Thanks!

L.M.: (through gritted teeth) Don't mention it!

Sirius: (gasps) Oh-

James: My-

Remus: Gosh!

Lily: (confused) What?

Peter: (also confused) Yeah, what?

Remus: Ok, let me break it down for you guys. Did you just see what happened?

Lily and Peter: Yes, but what happened?

Remus: (sighs) Lucius was just nice to you Lily. (Peter also gasps)

Lily: (still very confused) Yeah, so?

James: Name one other time he has been nice to you. To anyone!

Lily: Err....

Sirius: (nods) Exactly! He hasn't been nice to anyone! Ever!

L.M.: (can't take anymore criticism) Well, I'm finished and quite full. How 'bout you Severus?

S.S.: Well actually I am ( L.M. kicks him under the table) err, quite full! (both of them get up and start to head for the door)

Sirius: (couldn't be any happier) Great! (shoos them) Go on then! Toodle-loo!

L.M.: (turns around) I hope you die a horrible death!

Remus: (loses it) Petrificus Totalus! (spell hits S.S.) Locomotor Mortis! (spell hits L.M.) There, now we can eat in peace!

Sirius: (dying of laughter) Although that was hilarious, don't you think you went a little crazy? (baby voice) Is it that time of the month again?

Remus: (sighs as if annoyed) No, Siri, it's not. I did what I did because those two got on my last bloody nerve! Anyway, you would've probably killed 'em, Sirius!

Sirius: (thinks about it) Well, you do have a point!

James: (hugs marauders) I'm glad that we're all friends! (looks at Lily) Come over for a hug. Please?

Lily: (sighs, and smiles) I guess! (she goes around giving them hugs and James sneaks a kiss on the cheek).