The Way of Desperation

This wasn't his way. This wasn't the Black way, the Sirius way, or even the Padfoot way. This was desperation.

Not that he knew exactly what he was doing, or rather, what desperation was doing for him. What did he really want from Remus?

Trembling, Sirius Black walked slowly up the stairs to his dormitory room. Clutched in his left hand and concealed in the folds of his robes was a cub of tea. Or it looked like tea, anyway. He hesitated in front of the door, then pushed it open.

Remus was lying on his bed, idly waving his wand with one hand as the other held a book in front of him. Small objects appeared in front of him at random; pieces of parchment, socks, jewelry, flasks and vials. Looking up as Sirius entered, he smiled and put down the book, leaving a conjured bottle lying on the floor.

"Hey Padfoot," he greeted the other boy. "What're you hiding there?"

Sirius gave an inward sigh. No use. What were you planning to do, anyway? "I, er, I brought you some, um, tea, Moony." He sat on the edge of the bed and handed the saucer to Remus.

He received a curious look from Remus and felt a rush of blood to the head. He could only hope it wouldn't turn out to visible, as he shook his dark hair in front of his face.

"And none for yourself?" Remus asked.

He grinned through the dark locks. "I wasn't the one that spent the whole night as a wolf-"

"No, but you were the one that spent a good part of the morning away, probably snogging one of your girls, after spending the whole night with a wolf."

Sirius shifted in his seat. He had been away the whole morning, yes, but most definitely not snogging anyone-especially girls.

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Remus had to smile. Did Sirius really think he would fall for this? He, who was undoubtedly the brightest of them all? Granted, he was not so talented in the ways of romance, but he could most definitely identify a potion even if it were crudely hidden in a cup of tea.

He swirled the concoction to give him time to think. It was most definitely the Unctuous Unction. He didn't see how drinking it could be dangerous at all; wasn't he already Sirius' best friend?

Remus smiled broadly. "I didn't know you knew how to make tea," he commented, before sniffing the potion again. It smelled rather good...like ink, and comforters, and some sort of cologne...

Sirius merely shrugged and looked away, his hair swinging down over his face again.

Remus looked at him. Suddenly he roughly put the cup down on his bedside table. This was insane; if he was Sirius's friend, why were they both sneaking around like this? "Sirius, you pillock."

Sirius looked at him warily. "What? Have you drank it yet? Does it need more sugar..." He half rose from the bed.

"I don't need a potion to be your best friend, you git."

Sirius sank back down on the bed, finally having the grace to look guilty. "Moony..." he murmured, looking down.

Remus looked at him and then at the tea. The way it had smelled, and the steam rising from it in spirals...He looked back at Sirius, heart pounding. Now or never...he started it, right? It has to mean...

"And I don't need a potion to be attracted to you either," he heard himself say.

Sirius looked up, startled, and Remus felt his heart race and his breath go shallow. Was he wrong?

"What?"

Heavy seconds passed as Remus grew steadily redder. Finally he mumbled "Look, Padfoot, forget it..." but quickly forgot what he was trying to get Sirius to forget as the dark-haired boy leaned forward and took both of Remus's hands in his.

For long moments neither said a word, both going over what was happening and what it meant. Then Sirius, always the instigator, bent forward and caught Remus' lips with his own.

Remus wondered if he were dreaming, if his sleep could possibly be so cruel as to provide him with such a realistic fantasy. That was when Sirius slowly stretched himself out beside Remus, still kissing him and now pressing his full body against him, and Remus decided hazily that no dream could fill him with such emotions...

Sirius broke it off, and they lay there, heads inclined. They were both breathing heavily, and then Remus chuckled.

Sirius met it with a small laugh and nuzzled Remus' face with his own before giving him a small kiss on the lips. Remus found it quite enjoyable and returned one of his own...but before they got too serious there was a thud on the door...and then it swung open, letting a blushing James Potter fall clumsily onto the dormitory floor. Standing behind him was Lily Evans, slightly open-mouthed.

"Ah...Padfoot...Moony..." said James, flushing crimson as he straightened his glasses on his nose and scrambled to his feet. "Just thought I'd come show Lily the, ah, newest poster..." He gestured toward his own bed.

Remus, alarmed, looked at Sirius; however he merely slid an arm around Remus's shoulders and lay his head on his shoulder. "More like come show Lily the result of your latest potion," he said accusingly.

Lily smiled shyly. "I think it's grand, really," she said, looking at James.

The normally gregarious Potter simply shrugged, his face still red. "Well, um..." Looking for a diversion, he seized the first thing at hand; the small bottle on the floor. "Yours...?"

"Yes, actually," said Remus, and he waved his wand and said lazily, "Accio lotion."

"Right, well..." At a loss for words, James mumbled "We'll be going." and taking Lily's arm, was out the door.

Shutting the door behind him, James looked at Lily, who was still bright red. "And you said you thought it was grand," he joked, smiling slightly.

"Well...it's simply that I saw that bottle Remus summoned...and..."

James raised an eyebrow.

She shrugged. "It was Love Lotion..."

James laughed and grabbed her hand, heading down the stairs with her beside him.