Does This Sound Familiar?

It was a sunny and beautiful first day of school at Hogwarts when the Hogwarts Express stopped at the front of the large castle. The twinkling sun shone down and glinted off the forest blue lake, unicorns pranced in the dark green fields, and children laughed as they got off the shiny red choo choo train.

Harry Potter, one of our multiple protagonists, got off the train, the slight warm breeze tousling his raven black hair, whipping it into his emerald green eyes. He looked around, stopped in his tracks, opened his perfectly carved mouth and said... "Yo!"

A girl turned around and her long, straight, shampoo-commercial shining jet black hair twirled and flipped and flipped and flipped and flipped some more...and...and her dark violet eyes glittered as she replied, "Yes?"

Harry was dumbfounded at this girl´s beauty and was about to say something when he was immediately tackled by Fred and George, who had surprisingly gotten tan, muscular and hot over the span of three months thanks to Bowflex.... and steroids.

Harry looked up after pushing them off and was disappointed to see that the beautiful vision had vanished. Hermione and Ron, other protagonists, stepped off the train after taking an unusual amount of time to get off even though they were right behind Harry in the first place. But traditionally in fanfics, that´s ok.

Hermione looked exactly the same. The End. Ha ha, not really. Anyway...

Ron stepped off, also. His dark red hair was now sexily shaggy, his sapphire eyes were sexily blue and his also-bowflexed body was sexily... sexy.

The Wonderful Trio walked toward the castle talking. Harry was thinking about the girl he had seen for only a second. But in that second his life had changed from purposeless to.... almost having a purpose. Along with the whole Dark Lord stuff and crap. But traditionally, that´s ok.

Ron waved his hand in front of Harry´s face, snapping him out of his daze, "Yo, Potter, what is wrong? You look like you just saw a gorgeous girl and can´t the image of her out of your head."

After this statement Harry looked up, but not at Ron. He felt an electricity in the air, and was met with the familiar image of long, straight, shining shampoo commercial jet black hair. Ron looked where Harry had directed his emerald gaze.

His sexily dark blue eyes widened as he took in her majestic form. As if sensing their stares, she turned around, her hair flipping and shimmering in the bright sunlight. Her violet eyes caught the boys´ and she smiled her Mona Lisa smile, white teeth making every boy looking temporarily blinded by the brightest teeth in the history of ever, as she stopped where she was to wait for them to catch up.

"Hi! I couldn´t help noticing you looking at me, is something wrong?" Her voice was like music to their ears. They laughed nervously at being addressed by a goddess who they immediately assumed to be nice and funny and incredibly intelligent.

"Uh, er, um, uh...no. You, uh, look, er, fine," Harry stuttered.

"Smooth, Potter, real smooth," a voice drawled from behind the violet-eyed beauty. "Can´t seem to string two words together around your new girlfriend."

The girl turned around to face Draco, flipping her hair strategically to reflect as much sunlight as was humanly possible. "I´m sorry, you must be mistaken. I don´t even know him. Perhaps you could introduce me to your charming friend here."

Draco´s normally pasty white complexion turned rather red at this. Partly because she called Harry charming, partly because she seemed to like Potter better than him, and partly because he was having an aneurism at seeing this perfect stranger. At this, he immediately felt the impending urge to do good deeds, like help old ladies across the street, disband the Death Eaters, and put Microsoft out of business. Although he did not know what Microsoft was, it sounded like a money hogging, monopolizing corporation bent on taking over Wall Street and America as we know it, so that fit into his new attitude, too.

The girl waited for an answer, her hair fanning out behind her even though the humidity and still air made every other girl´s hair lie as flat as Elton John´s...ahem...you know what... at the Playboy mansion. Draco felt stunned and replied intelligently and coherently, "Uh, eh, er..."

She laughed, the sound spreading throughout the castle and making everybody fall silent in admiration and watch as she flipped her hair again and asked, "Is everyone in this school mute?"

To this statement, Harry finally tried to speak up, but was caught off guard by half a dozen seventh year boys flexing their muscles and proclaiming their undying love for her by way of miraculously having engagement rings just "lying" around in their pockets.

It was then that they were magically transported into the Great Hall because Dumbledore was sick and tired of watching the whole darned school stop in the middle of the lawn and admire a very hair flipping, unnaturally perfect girl.

After everyone was seated, Dumbledore got up from his seat in the front of the Hall and started to speak. When he realized that no one was listening to him because they were too busy watching the new girl, whose hair was still magically billowing out behind her he stopped.

Halting in the middle of his speech, he gestured to the girl and asked her to stand up. Gracefully getting out of her seat, she smiled a dazzling smile and flipped her hair for effect. Dumbledore cleared his throat and started once more with the girl by him, facing the Great Hall. "I have to announce the arrival of a new student, Mandie Lang, who moved here from Hawaii. Do you have anything else you want to share with the school, Mandie?"

Mandie smiled again, her blindingly perfect white teeth blinding everyone, "Hi fellow students! My name is Mandie Britney Lang and I moved here from Lanai, the island mainly known for mass producing pineapples," pulling one from her pocket she presented it to Dumbledore with a hair flip, "I am looking forward to learning with all of my new friends! I like to surf, and I don´t want to brag, but I was surf champion on Lanai AND Oahu, for FOUR years in a row. But that´s not important. I really appreciate books and writing and learning from amazing teachers such as yourselves," she said, addressing the faculty table where the male teachers were smiling insipidly, "I am so grateful to be here, hope I get to be wonderful friends with all of you! Bye!"

She sat down again as all the boys stood up and clapped while thinking about becoming her very close personal best friend. Everyone was taken by this gracious, beautiful, caring, intelligent new girl. (A/N. *gag gag*)

Harry, who was the new Quidditch captain, immediately gave her the position of Beater even though he had never actually SEEN her fly, let alone actually do anything physical other than flip her hair. Which she did very well, in his eyes. But, remember, traditionally, that´s ok.

That night, Mandie walked up to her dorm with all of her new friends, which was all of Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin, who now had a club named, "Disband The Evil Axis: Death Eaters and Microsoft."

But, even though all the other houses had expressed a desire to merge with Gryffindor and create one giant superhouse named, "Gruffleclawtherin," Dumbledore had insisted on keeping the houses seperate. So after she said good night to all the other students, the girls and boys of Gryffindor followed her up. The girls watched how the boys coveted her and were visibly taking notes.

After every other girl had fallen asleep, Mandie noticed that she had forgotten her pajamas. "Oh no, whatever shall I do?" she pondered.

Then she remembered that whenever she needed pajamas, she would always just ask her friends. Not wanting to disturb her sleeping roomates, she tiptoed across the hall and knocked on the fifth year boy´s dorm door. A shout emerged quickly, "No, Seamus, we are NOT opening the door until you get those girl´s shower pictures! Dammit, you´ve been holding out on us!"

Mandie laughed and replied through the wooden barrier, "I am pretty sure my name isn´t Seamus, and that you never told me to get pictures of the girl´s shower!"

After that, she heard rustling and murmurs of, "Good lord, get some pants on!" A moment later, a flushed looking bunch of boys opened the door so quickly that Dean was promptly whacked in the head and rendered unconcious.

Mandie looked down concernedly and asked, "Is he going to be all right?"

The boys looked at their fallen comrade and tried to kick him out of the way with their feet, "Uhm yeah, sure. It´s just a bump."

She smiled again and asked politely, "I´m sorry to disturb you but I seem to have misplaced my pajamas..."

She was cut off by a soft voice from behind saying, "Why don´t you just sleep nude?"

Whipping around, still flipping her hair, she saw Seamus at the bottom of the stairs, taking a picture of her butt. He immediately turned red and ran from the room. Turning back around a little more confused she continued, "Anyways, may I borrow some boxers or something?"

Immediately it became a mad dash for the guys to reach their trunks. Neville Longbottom shouted, "Here!" and pulled down his own white boxers which sported flying pigs, and held out his arm, his voice eager.

At once, all the guys shouted, "Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" and shoved Neville to the back of the room while presenting her with about six pairs of boxers and t-shirts.

Laughing again, she looked a pair of bright green silk ones that said on the fly, "Do not open until Christmas."

Handing them back to George, who seemed to have miraculously appeared, "I don´t think it is Christmas yet, George, so thanks anyways."

He smiled and shrugged, turning bright red. Finally deciding on a pair of Harry´s dark red and gold Gryffindor silk boxers and Ron´s grey Chudley Cannons shirt and waved good night to the boys who were not so discreetly checking out her ass.

The next day Slytherin boys were very happy to discover that they were paired with the Gryffindors for their lessons that day. Sitting in their first class, Potions, Hermione leaned over and whispered in Mandie´s ear, "Watch out, Snape can get really nasty, sometimes. So don´t think that a simple hair flip will work for him."

Mandie smiled and waited for class to start. To begin Snape snapped, "You, new girl with the impossibly good hair, what do you get if you add four fifths of an ounce Botry herb to three eighths of a boggle of Fritnish pelt?"

Mandie ignored Hermione´s frantically waving hand and replied calmly, "Well, sir, if that was possible I am sure with a few alterations to the boggle matrix you would get an ambulate solution which is commonly known as Pepto Bismol."

Snape looked stunned, so she flipped her hair to finish.

He snapped out of his daze and stuttered, "Well...well...yes, here is someone who might be able to show up Ms. Granger. Who has better hair. And isn´t so damn annoying. Well, one hundred points to Gryffindor..."

Malfoy cut in, "Hey, that is not.."

"Shut up Draco," Snape cut him off.

Even Professor Snape was thinking about how perfect Mary-Sue, I mean.... Mandie, was. Anyway, for some reason, Potions was suddenly over. But traditionally, that´s ok. Anywho, they all went down to the greenhouses, where they found a note on the door telling them to report to one of the Charms classrooms. When they arrived, they found a rather nervous-looking Professor Sprout wearing a marching band uniform and a rather tight smile.

Gesturing to the many instruments crowded into the corner of the dusty, underused classroom that hadn´t been taught in since Binns was actually alive, Professor Sprout announced, "Hello! Instead of me teaching you Herbology, this year I will be instructing Magical Music!" Confused, everyone sat down on the floor, as the desks had been hastily made into guitars. The strings looked suspicously like spaghetti, but everyone was a little too nervous to ask.

Professor Sprout stood up in front of them, still with the stretched smile, and explained, "Hello class! The reason I am not teaching Herbology this term is because...I well..." she paused, her face turned very splotchy and she cried out, "Well, my cat ran away and then I had what you would call a nervous breakdown and pulled out half of my hair and had to use Rogaine for Women, and that didn´t work so I had ANOTHER nervous breakdown and then my plants attacked me and I fell into mental paralysis, so I now am so scared to apporach any foliage that I have to teach music, instead." She broke down into tears and fell into a chair and sobbed.

Mandie got up among the very frightened students and handed Professor Sprout a Kleenex while patting her back consolingly. Turning around to the door she held out a perfectly manicured hand and shouted, "Accio Guitar!"

Immediately a hot pink electric guitar flew into the classroom and into her hands. Pulling up a wooden stool, she smiled graciously towards the rest of the kids, "As Professor Sprout is currently indisposed, I propose we have a singalong!"

Hermione scoffed and whispered to no one in particular, "I bet she can´t play."

At once, forty heads turned and glared. She shrank back for once in her life. Everyone faced Mandie again while she flipped her hair out of her eyes and strummed her guitar, which was magically amplified.

Playing a few chords, she started to play the extemely complicated song by Christina Aguilera, Beautiful. And while her guitar playing was perfect, she even started to sing, and her musical ability captivated the boys as they nodded and forgot to blink.

"I am beautiful, no matter what they say! I am beautiful, in every single way!"

Hermione muttered under her breath, "U-G-L-Y, you ain´t got no aliby, you ugly, yeah yeah, you ugly." Luckily, no one heard her. Because of course they would defend Mary-Sue... dammit...I mean, Mandie. Duh.

Professor Sprout even began to look happier as she heard Mandie sing the uplifting song. Jumping up she started singing along, which although sounded horrible, Mandie was able to cover up by somehow managing to play bass as well.

By the end of the class, everyone was a bit more interested in music.