3,441 - 3,460 of 3,602 Stories

Ever wondered how Trevor made it from King’s Cross to the Hogwarts’ boats in his first year? Suspected fiendish plots, but been unable to pin-point the culprit? Look no further – the answer is here! Read all about it in the words of both the man – er, toad – himself and also the vile toad-napper.

Forty-two women, three monkeys and Harry’s scar.

We all know about Hogwarts, but what about the other schools in the Wizarding World? This story takes place in Salem Massachusetts, USA where four young witches discover that even though they appear different they have one thing in common, and become true friends. slightly AU.

Gary Splotter returns to Hogwarts for his third year. Unfortunately for Gary, the famed murderer, Layed Back, is after him this year. Faced with this fact and the Dementors roaming the school, the stupid child must survive dealing with Professor Drape (Spade!) and the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Poopin. With a large new cast of characters and a far more dramatic storyline, it's GS like you've never seen it before.

Romance, high drama, bitter angst - this fic contains none of those. Quickly chronicles Draco's writing career from the age of ten to the age of seventeen. Watch him as he learns what a pronoun is and why it doesn't bite.

A challenge... Insanity fills Hogwarts Castle on the first day back. Set in fifth year. Beans, brownies and giggles.

Harry's been having dreams and they aren't dreams that any normal person would have. What happens when you mess up on a spell once and you can't help but mess it up again? Continuation of "Oh, Dear Christ!"

This story is a twisted version of the fairytale Rapunzel. Argus Filch attempts to make some personal improvements to increase his attractiveness. Somehow things don't go according to plan... and the only one surprised by this is Filch.

Spearfishing with Draco Malfoy? Every fangirl's dream...

This is not simply a question; it is the question. What will the answers be? Ron and Harry are men on a mission.

Hermione has several encounters with someone who seems to be sure that she has feelings for a certain redhead.

A day in the ordinary life of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. Full of laughter, pranks, and James trying to impress Lily. Basically, the usual.

After finding the last of the Horcruxes, Harry faces Voldemort in the final battle, then embarks on a whole new path. Can he do it without his friends by his side? AU, crossover with DLM and told in first person from Harry's point of view.

How can you summarize something so stupid, so pointless, so annoying and so moronic? Hmm... SPAM, I think. Spam. Yes, Spam. Lovely, lovely Spam. Not to be read by Bush supporters. A must for people who don't want to wait five chapters to get to the punchline!

Hermione Granger was not a gossiper- she was just curious. Which is why, when she heard a voice, it was in the name of curiosity that she stopping and listened. Pokes fun at slash.

Another nineteen years later, two old friends enjoy the simple pleasure of each other's company.

Remus gets more than one birthday surprise. (Remus/Ron)

Dumbledore had grown accustomed to hearing news of former pupils being captured and sent to Azkaban, but being Flooed and informed that his own brother had been arrested for performing improper charms on a goat was an entirely different matter.

On Twelfth Night, Professor Blaise Zabini, sitting quietly at home, receives an urgent call from a friend....

Part two in the thrilling two-part tale of Harry's exploits with his fellow fantasy fellows! Things get heated up in this segment as Harry and Anakin have a showdown. Plus, a twist at the end!

Charlie Weasley and his mates have delivered the four dragons for the Triwizard Tournament. They're off to Hogsmeade for a little R&R when Charlie meets a very flirtatious Rita Skeeter.

Just a bit of fluffy fun with the trio, set after PoA. Ron gets angry with the ball, and hilarity ensues.

Harry is wondering where Dumbledore is ... Crookshanks may just know the answer. One-shot. Gen, Trio!fic.

After the fiasco at the Department Of Mysteries, Severus Snape gets two for the price of one during a run-in with Neville Longbottom... Humour, UK English, as canon as I can make it.

Draco has some "interesting information" for Snape, and it concerns Remus. Misunderstandings ensue.

Hermione and Neville try to learn how to fly. Their first day isn't exactly a success.

Mantolwen: Welcome to the Epically Bad Tale of Hagrid and Fang.``Fang: *barks*``Hagrid: Ow!``Fireboltflyer: You wouldn't believe how messy his hair is. Two-hundred and three. You'd better read this before I snap all the combs.``Fang: *cowers*``Hagrid: Don' worry, Fang, it's jus' my fandom.

Hermione's summer turns into a very long lesson when she agrees to teach Grawp for Hagrid. Grawp doesn't really understand much and Hermione is neglecting her work. Harry and Ron decide to come to the rescue, and that's when the real problems begin.

Professor Blaise Zabini and his cat Macavity find themselves in an alternative universe. There they encounter a mystery and some very pleasant people....

It was a subtle game he played, stealthily hunting down his prey, but he was good at it - that is until he came upon the lioness. On that fateful day, the tables would be turned. The conqueror would become the conquered; the hunter would become the prey.

Lily Luna Potter is fed up of living in the shadow of her older brothers... and cousins... and parents... and well, any other Weasley/Potter out there. With a little help from her friends, her crush and some blonde hair dye, will she finally prove herself? Look out world, here comes Lily!

This is it folks, the Official (please note the capital O) History of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes! Not at all exaggerated and extremely boring! From the begining, well, not the end, since there isn't an end, awe bullocks, now I've messed the whole thing up...That's right, from the top folks!

I, Rita Skeeter, have become aware of the increasingly depressing epidemic at Hogwarts -- Incurable Singleness. And since I'm such a good person, and totally devoted to delivering YOU the truth everyday, I have decided to take up a little project.... The following are actual transcripts. All names have been removed for the protection of my job ... I mean, their identities.

April 2007 challenge fic. Prompt: Tom Riddle got lost in the jungle with Captain Kirk. Shore Leave has never been weirder! And what is with Randy Jannie and her heaving bosom?

The last day of term was a bore, ``Except for the heads of the four-- ``Hogwarts houses, and those, ``That each head of house chose... ``Read on if you want to know more!

Poor Harry Potter--his life is made so difficult by his wicked stepmothers and cruel, greedy stepbrothers, and the crude house-elf Kreacher. When an invitation to a ball arrives, Harry is so excited. But his wicked stepmothers squash his excitement. Luckily for Harry, he has a fairy godfather.

Blaise Zabini, the Care of the Magical Creatures teacher at Hogwarts, suddenly inherits an estate. He goes to see it and finds that a valuable thing is stolen from his new house. Macavity, his cat, assists him in recovering the object and in finding the thief.

"If Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, the four brightest blokes Hogwarts has seen in generations, can't decorate a bloody Christmas tree, there is something very wrong with this world."

One Christmas, Luna Lovegood gets the brilliant idea of spreading Christmas cheer to the people whom she considers to be the most miserable at Hogwarts. And, of course, Luna does not see any way this plan could go wrong.

I always snatch the Snitch. I'm always a winner, golden and perfectly round and armed with wings, forever meant to fly, because I am

Ron + Hermione + detention + toothbrushes = one wacky story! Ooh la la, detention has never been this fun!

Hermione makes a startling realisation concerning Snape. Of course, the whole gang gets dragged in, and Madam Pomfrey is left confused. Snape/Luna if you squint.

Setting: Dreary who-knows-where. Characters: Neville Longbottom with an abundance of Creepy Men in Dark Robes. Plot: Survival of the fittest- erm...sort of.

Luna Lovegood has her eye on someone.

Sybil Trelawney is tired of being underappreciated. She undertakes the bureaucratic system to alleviate her problems.

In which Ashlin is jelloid, and Holly is worshipped by a leech with a flamenco skirt and a trout that gets eaten with a tomato and expensive red wine. In Swedenland.

Handsome, strong sixth-year Robbie Giordano would lose a battle of wits with a stuffed iguana (whatever that is), but for some reason he's in Ravenclaw. This is how he found out why. Fluffy one shot canonesque of Sirens! WARNING: Contains MAJOR Sirens spoilers.

Gossip flies around the halls of the Ministry, and Hermione starts to think that Ron has a disturbing secret. Features a smidgen of H/D.

They were on their way to a party, but instead, four famous heroes find themselves ghostbusting.

If these walls could talk they'd tell you to shut the heck up. Set in the Pandora's Box universe.

Jasper Fforde's literary detective, Thursday Next, is called in to deal with a problem at Hogwarts concerning a certain Potions Master ...

The first half sits slumped. Mouth agape, eyes drooping. Trying everything in their power to stay awake. Those who aren’t half asleep are plotting a mysterious death of their teacher or how to get out of the class. They sit and tap their fingertips together, plotting, praying he chokes on his food or falls to his death. Or sneaking out of this cold place. Wasn’t Hell supposed to be hot? A blaze? A humongous fire pit? It is underground, though. That and the teacher are the only thing that make it qualified for anything close to Hell. Sometimes they like to think of him with horns sprouting out of his head. His train of his robes a tail. His wand a miniature pitch-fork. Strutting through his cave, around stalagmites.

A character exploration of Peeves and why he is the character/force of destruction that we all know and love.

I am transported to Hogwarts and witness a series of wacky events throughout the progression of the day. (The result of being too sick to sit up straight and half unconscious from cold medicine.) Total insanity.

The Marauders find themselves sitting around bored and decide to pass the time with some friendly fun.

Cormac McLaggen claimed he missed Quidditch trials in 1995 because he ate doxy eggs for a bet. But was the timing of this "Fear Factor"-esc challenge more than just coincidence? And what do the Weasley twins have to do with any of this?

We all know what happens when a wizard travels through the barrier between platforms nine and ten at King's Cross station. What we don't know, is what happens when a Muggle accidentally stumbles onto platform 9 3/4. How will said Muggle handle the situation when a rambunctious prankster crosses his path?

This is a one-shot. In it, there is this new thing called powersnot that Harry and some others want to create; it will fight Voldemort to the death, which says something, since powersnot almost never loses its battles. A bit of light fluff included, nothing serious or big. This is a silly fic, but most people (so far!) like it and find it funny and cute. Read and be the judge!

March 2007 Challenge fic. Prompt: Gideon Prewett gave Gregory's Unctuous Unction to Professor Grubbly-Plank. What are the Prewett brothers up to, and how much trouble can they get into?

What will happen when Peeves, our favorite Poltergeist, falls in love? Who will it be, and what will be the end result of it? You will get under the skin of Peeves, and find out a lot more about who he really is. Is he as bad as he seems, or is it all just an act? Who is his loved one?

Everyone at Hogwarts has been mysteriously killed. And it's all Raffi's fault.

The origin of Harry Potter, told as it could have been.

Once upon a time there lived a princess. She lived in an odd-looking castle far away in a land called Ottery-St. Catchpole with her father, the king, her mum, the queen, and her six older brothers, the princes.

Of Harry stupid Potter, Parvati stupid Patil, the Yule stupid Ball, a most disgruntled Ginevra Weasley, broken feet, erected towers, magazines for witches, double meanings of flashes of green light, and complete loads of rubbish.

Remus tries to make sense of an Order mission gone wrong by asking Sirius about it. Bad idea. Very, very bad idea.

Sirius doesn't think girls can prank. Sirius is about to be proven seriously wrong.

Well now, it's been a while, but the parody kings of fanfic are back, with another random fic of pointlessness. From the team that brought you 'You Asked for It', 'Okay It Had to Be Done', and that sandwich you had the other day, be sure to check out this exciting fun-filled piece of excellently written work, coming to a monitor near you. Especially if you can read French.

Ron is finally facing his feelings, scary though it may be. The Christmas Hogsmeade visit presents an opportunity he cannot pass up. His adventure leads him to turn a corner. A look at an R/Hr date from a confirmed H/Hr shipper.

Four boys. James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin were not always inseparable. It was a chance meeting helped along by books, robes, and lots of candy.

In retrospect, Harry should've known that Umbridge's field trip to the ancient springs of Jusenkyo would end badly for everyone. Having fallen into the Springs of the Drowned Emo and Drowned Emu, Harry supposes he's luckier than, say, Snape (Spring of the Drowned Unicorn) or Zacharias Smith (Spring of the Drowned Flea Circus), but there are more problems in the upcoming year than just the curses: Voldemort takes advantage of his own cursed form to infiltrate Hogwarts as Luna's new pet bunny. And there's really no way to explain Lucius Malfoy, the benevolent Buddhist monk. (AU OotP; Ranma 1/2 crossover)

It is Ginny’s twentieth birthday, and she wants to play a game with Harry.

Suffocation never sounded so bad...

Any press is good press...right? D/G, one-shot. Written for the 2009 Draco/Ginny Fic Exchange at Livejournal. Nominated for Funniest Fic.

Luna is always one for being the center of attention, and her classmates are always ones for finding ways for making her such. And when Luna waltzes into Potions class one day with a live duck tucked under her arm, Professor Snape can't help but ask for the reasoning behind it.

My Prisoner of Azkaban parody appears, bringing with it Snape's ACTING, a furious audience, and no plot whatsoever! Because we have trees!

A "Bonding" schedule with the in-laws? What could possibly go wrong?

Ron and Harry are rushing back from a hard potions lesson; they're late for dinner and starving. But there's no way either of them is going to dinner when there's that irritating cricket hanging around. Maybe Neville can help? Err... maybe not.

Sirius is finally done with school, but he as one major thing from Hogwarts that won't leave him alone. The moody Christen Nelson, and her Muggle family.

Ron and Harry pull quite the prank on Hermione. But magic can do funny things... Dudley/Hermione, anyone?

Hestia Jones shows up for her first Order meeting. Gideon Prewett was expecting someone else. Gen. One-shot. Written for the As Summer Ends challenge on first_order (LJ community).

Fred and George cause trouble. Involves love potions, Cuba, and... Pansy Parkinson?

What if Argus Filch decided to write fan fiction?

Teachers sometimes act worse than their students, and Severus Snape is no exception. Join him as he endures another Hogwarts Staff Meeting. Poor man.

Charlie Weasley's been invited to a girl's birthday party, and it looks like he might just be part of the prize.

Severus Snape discovers an unpleasant aspect to being a Death Eater. (Edging toward crack.)

Pansy wants insurance. Draco... doesn't. It might take some convincing and some off-topic conversations to get him to change his mind.

On a perfect, almost summer's day, sometimes it is nice to be alone. Harry, Ron and Hermione spend the day alone doing their own thing...

Peter thinks about what he expected and what he got. Two very different things indeed.

Back by popular demand! In this final installment of the "Clash of the Clouds" trilogy, Anakin Skywalker is once again on the loose in Hogwarts, this time armed with Harry's wand. It is up to Harry and the other Hogwarts occupants to stop him before it is to late. Featuring (for you girls out there) a John Mayer concert, Remus Lupin in a show-stopping number, and Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz! Snape hates, Squigley levitates, and poor Seamus is still getting beat up. So come on down to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and join the party!

Front page headlines from the Wizarding world's best-selling newspaper.

Ever wonder why the Auror's capture rate of dark wizards is quite high recently? The secret's out with Hermione Granger explaining to fellow readers of the secret behind their success! Set Post-Hogwarts in a newspaper article style.

An Alternative Universe version of how Harry's first trip to Hogwarts could have gone, with some very Muggle-esque influences.

Hermione is in a bad mood. She's about to be torn apart from her friends. They're going to seperate schools. But Hermione doesn't even know about Hogwarts yet. So go on. Tell her. She won't believe you. Not yet.

Life is tough for Harry and Spider-Bat. They have two jobs: delivering pizzas and working for a newspaper. Fun fun fun.

Ask Snickers: The Ravenclaw House advice column run by none other than Bella Primro and her best friend Sirrah Mallagen, along with the rest of their gang, the Racketeers, who are trying to rival their Gryffindor counterparts, the Marauders. As they ask each other stupid questions and make enemies, they come across a few surprises.

Inspired by the introduction of this wonderful character in Order of the Phoenix, I wrote a short story about a few days in the life of Dung.

Professor Binns' narrative now tells the real story of Julius Caesar's invasion of Britain and his assassination.

All was quiet in the waiting room of the esteemed marriage counselor, Dr. I. D. Vorce, save for the ticking clock on the wall and the numerous couples screaming their lungs out at each other. In this story, said marriage counselor will receive a visit from the unhappiest couple in the wizarding world: the Lestranges. Much like my other stories, this is extremely OOC for the sake of comedy. I hope you enjoy it!