The Very Angry Troll Impersonating Hermione

It was a beautiful, autumn evening and the tinted, orange sun was shining perfectly down on the two friends by the edge of the lake at Hogwarts. They were reviewing for their test in Potions, which would involve one, possibly both, taking a poison then having to cure themselves with their self-made antidotes before the poison kills them and giving their Potions Master his ultimate delight.

Harry flexed his over exhausted fingers and stretched back over the grass, making the ever ready Hermione point out the obvious.

"Harry!" she screamed. "We have to get this potion right!" He waved his hand carelessly back at her, showing how much effort he would be giving. She sighed exasperatedly and went back to her work.

As he was lying back, he heard steps coming from behind him. He opened his eyes and looked at the upside-down, red-haired, freckled and most familiar visitor.

"Hey, Ron," he greeted him, laying his eyes to rest once again. "Trying to get some air before you go back into vacuum mode?"

Ron pushed, more rolled him over playfully, while laughing along with him. "My vacuum mode is actually quite comfortable, thank you very much," he replied.

Hermione harrumphed and stood angrily to her feet. Harry opened his eyes barely, still not caring what all was going on around him. "You think you're sooooo cool, don't you?" she yelled, more than asked Ron, whose mouth was working wordlessly. "I wish you would just die!" She turned her back on the two mystified boys and walked determinedly back to the castle.

Harry had picked up his head in curiosity after the first question, but was still just as clueless as Ron.

"What did I do?" he asked innocently.

Harry shrugged and lay back down. "You know how girls are," he answered shortly. "Their hormones are more screwed up than ours."

Ron took this as a plausible answer, but still wanted to delve deeper into the painstakingly impossible world of the female mind, which they found out as they went on.

After several more questions and much time later, they paused and thought over what they had come up with.

"We can definitely rule out her being a vampire..." Ron said, ticking off one finger on his right hand.

"I think we can leave Imperius curse out, too," Harry said, with Ron nodding in assent. "Wait! What about..." Ron sat up straighter waiting for the hopefully amazing answer-- "Nope. Nothing."

"Oh, for Merlin's sakes," he groaned, "why are girls so crazy?" As if the answer wasn't obvious.

"Do you think she's doing the Time Turner thing again?" Harry asked, bored with the discussion, but not half as bored as to do his schoolwork.

Ron shook his head lackadaisically. "I doubt it. She would've told us this time."

"I got it!" Harry yelled out, making Ron jump to his feet. "It isn't really Hermione, but an evil Troll that Voldemort sent to confuse us with!" Harry started rolling in laughter, but Ron sighed and sat back down defeated.

"But-- But-- She told me to die." Harry looked at him sympathetically, silently wishing he knew as well what she had meant.

"All comes in good time," Harry reeled off, "or something like that." As he laid back down, he noticed a figure coming towards them slowly. He couldn't tell who it was, but could tell that they had Gryffindor robes on. As they got closer, he realized it was a girl and presumed it to be Hermione.

"Well, talk of the devil," he said slyly, pointing over his head for Ron to look.

He looked over to where Harry was pointing and broke out into a smile. "I knew she'd be back to apologize," he responded happily.

Her hair seemed rather frizzled for it only being in the fall. She strode purposefully to the two boys, but was stopped in her tracks as another figure ran by her and jumped on Ron, engulfing him in kisses and hugges.

"Won Won, I missed you," she said rather loudly. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming out to the lake? Isn't it romantic?"

As Harry was rolling around laughing again, he noticed the now extremely angry face of Hermione. He crawled over to Ron, who really wasn't in the position to be tugged on, and pointed at Hermione.

He got the point.

"Hi, Hermione," he said timidly, but trying to maintain his innocence. This seemed to put her over the edge.

"I still wish you would die!" she yelled at the top of her lungs, as she was swiveling around to go in the direction of the castle, she also screamed, "of suffocation!"