Dear Occupants

A/N: I have taken a great deal of liberty with characters and situations that have happened in the time before this is set. Therefore, Draco Malfoy did not become a Death Eater, Snape didn't kill Dumbledore, and no other Minions of our favourite Snake Master made their way within the grand castle of Hogwarts.

Dear Occupants of the House of the Darkest Colour,

Just a little letter to enlighten you all to the ever pressing fact that...

I. AM. BORED.

Already.

Three days into Summer Holidays and I think that maybe this room I am becoming ever more acquainted with deserves some sort of organization and re-evaluation.

One small chest-of-drawers, third and fourth drawers unusable due to previous Dudley ownership. Drawer two contains something that I assume is a Boggart. Although my experience with these is rather limited.

One wardrobe. Reminds me of my former room. Smells like Dudley's old socks. Oh, wait, that may be because there appears to be a pair in there. Wonder when that happened?

One desk. One leg snapped in half. Due to own tantrum. Held together with chewed gum. Blueberry flavour.

One bed. Mattress is flat, pillow non-existent, sheets paper-thin. Squeaks at any movement which incites Vernon to yell in his sleep.

I wonder if it's possible to rearrange such a room. Perhaps a wizard poster would help.

Love your ever so lovable bumpkin,

Harry.

P. S. Hedwig's hungry for those muffins, Mrs Weasley. Can she have some more?

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Dear Harry,

It's only been three days what on Earth has happened? You sound more than a little out of it.

Things here have been a little boring, so your letter was more than appreciated. Just be sure not to do anything drastic. I think that Dumbledore is under the impression that your sanity is on the verge of a breakdown.

Perhaps we should look into getting you a new bed. Your's doesn't sound so comfy.

Love, Moony.

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Dear Harry,

Harry! Stop acting so strangely. Honestly, your relatives' place isn't so boring that you need to resort to sending the Order a letter that makes absolutely no sense! Practice your Occlumency and finish your homework. I'm sure that a little work on the theory aspect of your studies would help raise the final mark on your N.E.W.T results.

Things here at Headquarters are busy, what with all the missions. You-Know-Who has been awfully quiet lately though.

Make sure to let the Order know the minute you have any visions. Although, if you are practising Occlumency you should have no trouble in sleeping.

Love, Hermione.

P.S DO NOT PUT A POSTER UP.

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Dear Harry,

Mate, that letter was fantastic! The look on Dumbledore's face was priceless! I wish I had a hold of one of Creevey's cameras. Lupin thought that maybe Sirius' sense of humour had in fact rubbed off on you, after all. As you probably noticed, mum sent a huge batch of muffins along for Hedwig. She said that we wouldn't want her to go hungry over summer hols.

Ron.

P.S. Put the Chudley Cannons and Puddlemere United posters up. The Beaters and Seekers on the teams are awesome at insults.

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Potter,

Perhaps it would be wise to remove you from the care of those...people. Your sanity is obviously fighting a downhill battle that it was already losing.

Snape.