Mary Parker

I, Rita Skeeter, have become aware of the increasingly depressing epidemic at Hogwarts -- Incurable Singleness. And since I'm such a good person, and totally devoted to delivering YOU the truth everyday, I have decided to take up a little project.... The following are actual transcripts. All names have been removed for the protection of my job ... I mean, their identities.

H/G fluff. Hermione and Harry join the Weasleys at the Burrow for Spring Break and the regular romance, fun, and clichéd happy endings ensue. Butter dishes, fluff, and fun for all.

"Harry, when are you getting here, mate? She's driving me nuts. I'm falling apart here. She's bossy and disapproving and I'm never good enough for her. But I really don't like fighting with her. She's smart and funny and when she looks at me with her big blue eyes, I start to feel something inside...it's wonderful and fluttery. And when I feel that, I don't want to let it go, like it's something hanging on a thin string about to break, and as long as I keep looking into those eyes, it'll stay." Ron took one surprised look at what he'd wrote and threw it in the nearest trash bin. R/Hr.