2,081 - 2,100 of 3,594 Stories

Harry and Hermione are married and have way too many kids. Living in a typical Muggle home, they have a whole bunch of problems, including a broken washing machine, sour milk, missed dinner dates, and small children with nightmares, but that's all right, because to an Auror working all the time, life with his family is 'just another day in Paradise'.

What would you do if you suddenly woke up in the middle of the Sorting Ceremony and discovered you were an American transfer student? A brief gothic tale.

Dudley's died and gone to Heaven! The question is, does he get in?

'Hermione was no other word for it, breathless. You couldn’t fault her for it, though. She had good reasons.' ``Merely the beginning of a more than slightly amusing tale. Why not drop in and laugh at poor Hermione's predicament?

It's the day after final exams, and the junior students are forbidden to go outside and play, due to the threat from Voldemort. What will Madame Pince do when they all invade her nice, warm, quiet library?

Hermione, currently working at St. Mungo's hospital, has organized a fundraiser event. Not only are Potion Masters from all over the world invited, but also the reclusive Severus Snape from Hogwarts... who actually doesn't know yet what's awaiting him. ``Hermione might be in charge this evening, but that doesn't mean it will be a quiet and peaceful event.

This is a group of songs edited for HP characters!

'That night in the library, when you were a sprite and I was...curious. A glittering sprite in the dark. All I did was sing and you laughed a river of smooth wine.' This is the continuation of a more than slightly amusing tale (started in 'Late Night Thoughts'). It appears the predicament has expanded. Poor, poor, Blaise. Romance and confusion. HG/BZ. One-shot. Love it!

Harry receives a chain letter. Watch as people lose their minds because they believe that a small piece of paper can do terrible things, things you thought only Voldemort was capable of. Yes, paper can do them too!

Take one unusual incident. View it through the eyes of many different people. Hear their thoughts and their take on the occurring incident. Different incident, different setting, and different characters on each part.

Some stories were omitted from the Canon. I'd like to say these are them, but to tell the truth... these are just rants of my odd little imagination. *twilight zone-esque music starts here*

The Ministry has ignored Percy’s Flobberworm Juice Proposal. What some might see as a defeat, Percy is using to implement his Escape Plan. He’s making lemonade out of lemons, and Fred and George will be the sweetener! Or will they sour the mixture?

Desperate to prepare Harry for what lies ahead, Dumbledore attempts the one thing that can help him - to split Severus Snape in two.``Desperate to start climbing the nine steps to bliss with Ron, Hermione attempts the one thing that can help - get him in the rose bush.

To everyone, it seems that Harry and Ginny hate each other... but do they really? What happens to make them spill their secret?

Blaise wants to be a super hero. Hermione doesn't think he can do it. Will he prove her wrong, or is he just another wizard in spandex and sunglasses?

The Hogwarts professors decide to have a party, with alcohol, and Peeves isn't about to be left out of the fun. One-shot, complete, utterly insane.

Summary: Ron thinks that Harry and Hermione are more than just friends. Harry assures him that's not the case, but Ron doesn't reslly believe him. He wants to ask Hermione about it but he is afraid to. One day in class, Snape has them make a polyjuice potion, and Ron gets an idea. During the class though, Harry sees something that starts him thinking about, maybe, being more than friends with Hermione. The entire trio end up having a very strange day.

Remember Mrs. Weasley's clock? Where do wizards get their fancy magical timepieces? A wizarding watchmaker becomes friends with our favorite red-haired twins in this answer to the Anti-Mary-Sue Challenge.

Harry is sick of Umbridge and everyone pushing him around. Halfway through fifth year, he decides to Do Something about it. Warning: Contains nuts. And cults, falling sugar bowls, terrible handwriting, and beleaguered caretakers. So AU it isn't even funny.

Hermione's got a baby -- and a secret. Snape has Paternity Issues. But in this little parody, nothing is what -- or who -- you think.

Love spell goes wrong in Hogwarts. Who will be whose *****?``Set in the sixth year.

Both Ron and Ginny try to hide something from each other.

When Muggle Studies is made compulsory for all students at Hogwarts, how will the 5th year Gryffindors and Slytherins react at having to work together? This fanfic contains a hyped-up Arthur Weasley, a group of small children and Severus Snape, Babysitter Extraordinaire!

Today is Hogwarts' Inspection Day! A humorous one-shot fic, it includes dirty socks under Harry's bed, something... totally nasty under Ron's bed, and a whole lot of humor.

Ron wants to throw Hermione a birthday party. Harry is scared. Please laugh, they tried.

Hogwarts' resident Muggle Studies teacher decides to have her sixth and seventh year students produce one of Shakespeare's greatest plays, Romeo and Juliet. Oh, the events that ensue when Draco becomes jealous. D/G Meant to be a bit of a parody.

What does Voldemort do in his spare time? And what's wrong with Pink stuffed bunnies? A zany ficlet which tells, in the weirdest way possible, our favorite Dark Lord's most interesting hobby: Tea Parties!!!

Is there a main apparition point for Diagon Alley? If not, disasters may abound!

What happens when Harry and the gang find out about 'Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone'?

Thought you might enjoy a seeing a draft of my upcoming interview in the January 2003 issue of READING.

He is a teenage boy, and in the manner of teenage boys, he likes a girl. Whether she likes him back, of course, is not an issue.

What happens when two pairs of lovers, a group of crazed and unseasoned actors, and a magical night in the forest with the "fairies" are combined? Why, Shakespeare's

Harry tries to surprise Ginny on their first anniversary, with varying degrees of success...

Sarah has written a fanfiction. It has ``everything: the ever-popular Mary Sue (aka Bethany Parker) and Sarah’s two best friends instead as Bethany’s sworn enemies. Unfortunately for Sarah, though, Bethany doesn't like the life she's created. Bethany wants out, ``and the three friends aren't going to like how she gets it!

One day while poor Harry was bored, Ron farted and Adam Sandler came out of the fireplace with a MAD magazine. Join Harry while he reads this mag with much difficulty.

Neville Longbottom's taught Defence Against the Dark Arts for seventeen years now. Yet, his greatest challenge is only now presenting itself. ``There's nothing worse than having one's own child as a student.

Dracos parents die in the grocery store when canned peaches massively attack them, so where does Draco go? None other than the Weasley home. PG-13 for violent stupidness.

"NOBODY expects the Hogwarts Inquisition!"

You thought you knew what the prophesy was? Well... you were right. But what if it wasn't that? What if it had a lot more to do with Harry's... hair?

Salinas Dumbledore has graduated from school and has returned to her native Newfoundland for a solitary night on the town at the infamous George St. in St. John's. She doesn't expect to find a certain someone in there... but when she does, a karaoke-riddled drink-off ensues! Newfie Music! Drunken Raves! Cursing! Swearing! Screech! Things Newfies Only Do On TV! And best of all, GREAT BIG SEA!

Ron, Hermione and Harry with two fellow Gryffindors decide to sneak out one night ... only to return ... drunk!

Written for a veela inc fic challenge, this story recounts the antics of a naughty Neville and the hilarity that ensues. Watch for fuzzybunny!Draco and irresistable!Ron. Lily Potter also makes a cameo appearance. And the #1 question: "Is Draco gay?" is pondered, but is it answered? Read and enjoy! And if you like, review!

Harry's announcement has an electrifying effect, causing Hermione and Ron to panic, and Dumbledore to send memos to Minister Fudge and Voldemort. Mentions of H/D.

It's three days until graduation, and the seventh-year students are spending a free day by the lake. Harry gets into an accident with the Giant Squid, and curiously it is Draco who saves his life. Harry has his own weird way of showing gratitude.

One night in the common room Hermione reprimands Ron. He doesn't like it, so he gets loud; unfortunately, his twin brothers are around. They answer the question Ron shouted. The answer they give leaves the whole Gryffindor house traumatised.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone... everyone knows it. Most of us know it word for word. But one person doesn't and is rewriting it... with disastrous results. Fortunately for us, they have a picky beta-reader. The beta-reader always has their two cents worth to say. Who will go insane first--writer or beta-reader? Will the story be mutilated to be nearly unrecognizable?

In the first chapter of their second year, the Marauders discover special powers...but why do THEY have them?

Voldemort has a daughter. It doesn't seem surprising at first, but then you find out she has a huge crush on the Boy-Who-Lived. Throw in a feast, firewhiskeys and Neville's affair with Ginny under Ron's nose, and the only thing you could get is humor. Sequel to Parvati Patil and the Depressed Boy-Who-Lived.

A question from Millicent Bulstrode leads to sudden popularity for Snape. This could be the only time she gets named in a summary in my fics.

Yet another Draco/Pansy one-shot that takes place from their wedding day to somewhere shortly after it. All-dialogue, short and vaguely fluffy fic.

When Charlie Weasley comes home to the Burrow, he stops in to see Ron. Charlie hasn't seen his kid brother in what feels like an eternity. They start talking about what happened in Ron's third year at Hogwarts when Charlie gives some revealing information about one of Ron's professors.

Everyone is out to get Harry. Thankfully, Harry has the power of love on his side. A parody of the "Harry Potter and the Veil of Mystery" fanfic by Semprini.

Shortly before going to Hogwarts, James suddenly falls ill, leaving Harry to care for him. One-shot & COMPLETE

Creepy randomness, the product of a late night and several cold pills... enjoy!

Ron Weasley was many things, but stupid wasn’t one of them

Ron Weasley was your average eleven-year-old wizard at Hogwarts... He played Wizard Chess with his friends in his spare time, never missed one of those Quidditch mathces, and hated Professor Snape with every fiber in his body. This is the story of our little, innocent Ron making his way into manhood. Through embarrassing conversations with his older brothers, strange dreams featuring a certain girl, and Muggle romance novels, watch Mr. Ronald Weasley discover the art of girls and kissing. AU First Year.

A Kwikspell advertisement complete with testimonials.

Remus Lupin gets sacked, heads for the Hog's Head, and reminisces about Order history and procedure, including the infamous Patronus-communications.

Inside, you will find a group of carefully organized poems, written by Harry Potter himself. The poems are not only undescriptive and obscure, but hilarious due to their oddities!

Perhaps the nightmare we all dread coming to life is a situation where you have absolutely no idea what to do, and even if you did, you wouldn’t know how to go about doing it. Sunday morning, Draco Malfoy found himself in this exact predicament. Draco somehow is transported to a place he doesn't want to be. Not a romance.

Excerps from the mental brainstorming session between Minerva McGonagall, an author with a headcold and writer's block, and a few meandering fictional characters looking for party snacks.

Snape ponders how awful Valentine's Day can be for a lonely teacher with no real friends.

Harry's friends have been kidnapped. Draco's friends have been kidnapped. What now? Read and find out.

A cousin from Beauxbatons sends Blaise a very interesting invention of his. Hagrid has a new, very unusual, pet, but Mortie acquires a pet that is really undeard of...

One morning, while imprisoned in Azkaban, Lucius, Crabbe Sr., and Goyle Sr. awake to discover the prison empty. They escape and meet many adventures as they attempt to make it home to their families (and beloved Master!). A hilarious parody of O Brother Where Art Thou, filtered through J.K. Rowling's universe.

Sixth year at Hogwarts; Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini are using some very interesting 'substances'. When Draco and Harry place a bet, Harry completely changes in all ways and starts using the mysterious drug, too. But nothing seems to last long when the professors come up with a ‘reasonable punishment’ for the two. Who will win the bet? What will be the consequences? And why does Lucius act strangely out of character? Eventual H/D.

Each of Harry's years at Hogwarts have been exciting and he expected his fifth to be the same. What he didn't expect was two new girls, Meara Redmond and Elspeth Tweedie. Seventh years with a very unique minds and personalities, ``Meara and Elspeth bring fresh humour to Hogwarts.

Saturday morning in the Gryffindor boys' dorm. James grouses, Peter snores, and Remus is subjected to the poking and prodding of one Sirius Black. Curse Padfoot and his early rising tendencies!

Humorous fic: A day in the life of Hogwarts, from the perspective of a *genuine* oakwood floorboard. features Snape, Aurors, renegade Muggles, You-Know-Who and Bertha Jorkins.

In which Hermione is featured in and out of character, Ron is an unfaithful naughty boy, Dean is left with bruises but isn't important enough to get a line, Ginny seeks revenge and so does Lavender ... And all because Ronnie was in the bathroom.

Have you ever wondered what various Potter characters wear at night to sleep in? Well, everyone is called down to the Great Hall in the middle of the night, wearing their pajamas (or not in some cases). Who's the kid walking around in footy-pajamas? And what's that stuff on Pansy's face? And why is Neville blushing? This is a humorous one-shot.

The end of a lot longer than five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes (and counting). Written for the rt_challenge April 2006 ficathon.

George Weasley is introducing his girlfriend to his family, and that is a doubtful success - until a young girl knocks at the door and saves the situation.

Post-HBP-- Harry decides to return to seventh year at Hogwarts, and he discovers something that will help in his quest for the horcruxes a lot...

Luna Lovegood is a first year, fresh off the Hogwarts Express, and within minutes, she’s already earned herself the title ‘Loony’. Things aren’t looking so good for the young girl and her invisible Harblawengs.

McGonagall visits number 4, Privet Drive, in the first week of November 1981.

A girl appears at the school. Her name is Charlotte Snape and she's from the future. She has no idea how or why she managed to travel through time, so while they figure out how to send her back, she'll stay and be a student like Mum and be taught by Dad.

Really, who eats porridge anymore? A humourous story full of stew, chairs and beds. And a dancing dove gray ribbon.

A Christmas fic staring MWPP in the Sixties through the eyes of a chocoholic, enthusiatic, child-loving teaching assistant. Read as she slowly loses her patience with heart throb! Sirius, Obsessed with Lily! James, and a flamboyant angel Gabriel. But will she be able to pull the show off with a jazzed up 'Away in a Manger' and keep her job?

Part of my Sailing Ships Challenge. Lucius and Narcissa are in the delivery room. Lucius' hand will never be the same. And Bellatrix Just. Won't. Stop. Giggling. LuciusNarcissa

Wormtail buys Voldemort a diary. A diary that writes back. Voldemort has a lot of "fun" being annoyed, and at the end... you'll find out.

The boys pick on Ron about the strange dream he had in class. Professor Trelawney sprays him with a strange potion, and Hermione seems to be in a very sarcastic mood.

The Marauders and Snape are hitting the trail, Oregon Trail to be exact. And they're not so much hitting it as watching it on James's computer.... Anyway, it's fraught with oxen, mysterious voices and horrible music. Join them, you'll have an interesting story to tell the therapist.

Teenage Sirius Black finds his Potions Master's private``stash and decides to have a party in the dungeon.

A romance, of a sort. Because even giant squids get lonely sometimes.

Hey, you asked for it! More awful slash jokes, fandom cliches, and sudden inexplicable OOCness. This time, Seamus is being stalked. Is it the slashers, or someone more sinister, more devious... more squealing?

Join Lord Voldemort for the everyday adventurers of his life. Discover his inner feelings on subjects and skiing.

Join Hermione Granger as she leads you on a personal tour of Hogwarts. But things don't seem to go as smoothly as she had planned...

Sequel to "Snape, After Midnight" So...what happened to the picture?

Your guess is about as good as mine. It's a sequel to Humiliation's Friend and a Blush

The Marauders are skint and Sirius has a Plan to make some cash. All he needs is some help from his Animagi friends - and possibly a collar with spikes.

Harry, Hermione and Ron find themselves in a computer lab where they can surf the Muggle internet, and see what the shippers are saying. They are intrigued until they find out that in order to leave, they must choose their own ships. Includes action, trouble, people coming back from the dead, and lots of that nice fluff at the end.

Adrian finds out a secret about his love. *sniggers* One-shot.

Join Maria and Susannah at their first year at Hogwarts as they encounter Harry, Dumbledore, and Higgs. If you're looking for an intelligent parody, this is your story. And if you're looking for a dumb parody, this is your story, too.

Harry stood in the library running his finger casually across the titles. Something strange had been going on lately. Suddenly, something caught his eye! One of the books, a large gray volume, had a small yellow sticker on it. It read RESTRICTED! Could it be? Could someone have put this book away in the wrong place by mistake? Books don't just hop off shelves and start walking around.... or do they? Either way, this intrigued Harry and he picked it up and set it on the table. Curious, he opened the first page...

Harry and Draco get in stuck in a broomstick cupboard. Sound cliche? Well do you think Malfoy looks like a flobberworm? Harry/Draco

So what happens when I read a deeply moving eleven-chapter story in which Draco and Harry switch bodies and Hermione is a member of a Harry-Draco love triangle? Well... let's call it Draco Dormiens in Fifteen Minutes.

While on a date, Ron has to drag along Harry, who is VERY high from a gift that Fred and George have given him.

If Hermione hadn't met the boys on the train that first day, things would most certainly be different. Featuring Metro!Ron, Loser!Harry, Stalker!Hermione, and Smoker!Ginny.

In which a camera and white, bobbing fur cause some trouble for the Weasley family. Ginny Weasley travels to the Beast's castle in exchange for a grievous insult inflicted by her father on the Beast. This all seems to be the standard Beauty and Beast stuff, no? And yet, there is always a problem when the Beast is rather reluctant about being a boy again.