Ronald Weasley and the Exploding Vacuum Cleaner

Ronald Weasley and the Exploding Vacuum Cleaner

Ron Weasley was engaged to be married. With just two months left to go until the big day, he was currently staying with his future mother- and father-in-law for a whole month. It was his first day staying there and already things had started to go wrong.

His fiancé, Hermione Granger, had planned a "Bonding" schedule for him and her parents. It covered every single day of the whole four weeks. Ron was a bag of nerves as he really wanted to impress Hermione's parents. Or rather, he wanted to stay on her good side. He had been with Hermione for two years now and had been close friends for six years before that. He knew exactly what would happen if he disappointed her. He shuddered at the mere thought of it.

Hermione had put a lot of effort into the schedule, but nonetheless, it simply did not go to plan. For starters, Ron and Mr Granger had been booked to go fishing which, as this is Ron Weasley, we are talking about, was a complete disaster. Ron hadn't had a clue and as a result, Mr Granger had been left annoyed and soaking wet. This was because Ron had thought that an extremely large fish was a shark and had screamed like a little girl. He had caused the boat to rock and therefore, Mr Granger had found himself thrown into the water.

Although the rest of the week also went spectacularly wrong, it was the seventh day when Hermione finally exploded. She had ordered Ron to help her mother with chores around the house while her father took her shopping (with his credit cards, of course).Hermione had forbidden Ron from using magic, but fed up of being bossed around, Ron did no listen.

As Hermione and her father left, Mrs Granger gave Ron a few simple tasks, such as dusting. Leaving him to do the living room, she went upstairs to clean the mirrors in the bathroom. Once she was out of sight, Ron lazily flicked at the spotless ornaments and yawned. Why on earth was he stuck her cleaning, while Hermione was off gallivanting round the shops? At least it wasn't his money she was spending! Honestly, she called this bonding?!

After ten minutes or so, Mrs Granger returned to find Ron hovering, unsure of what to do next. "All finished, dear?" she asked, smiling kindly.

Ron shrugged his shoulders and mumbled: "Umm...yup! I reckon so, Mrs G!"

Ruffled at being addressed as "Mrs G", Mrs Granger put Ron in charge of the vacuuming. She felt a little guilty though when she felt pleased that he was nervous, as she noticed him turn even paler. "It's really quite simple," she assured him. However, it did not assure him as she sounded just like Hermione. He gulped.

Ron stood frozen to the spot as Mrs Granger wandered off in the direction of the garden. Confused, Ron looked at the vacuum. "How the bloody hell do I work this stupid thing?" he wondered aloud. Biting his lip, he withdrew his wand form his back pocket and tapped the vacuum with it. Nothing happened. Ron cursed and thought hard. Perhaps it was broken? He decided this had to be it. Feeling rather pleased for himself, Ron waved his wand and muttered the word: "Reparo!" At first it looked like nothing had happened. "Oh, damn!" he said, leaning down to look at the vacuum more closely. BANG! He was rewarded with a huge explosion which smashed the windows and covered everything in thick, grey dust.

Alarmed, Mrs Granger came rushing in. "What the...?!" she exclaimed as she took in her surroundings. For a second Ron thought it would be ok. But then she burst into tears. "All you had to do was plug it in!" she wailed, clutching the mantelpiece for support. Ron just stood there, gaping.

They stood motionless for what felt like eternity. Then there was a click as the front door was unlocked and opened. Ron met the livid eyes of Hermione and his blood ran cold. Desperate to distract her he shouted: "SURPRISE!" Hermione narrowed her eyes and strode over to him. "Oh, please god, no!" he whispered.

"RONALD WEASLEY!!!"