3,041 - 3,060 of 3,602 Stories

Divination- The Art of fortune telling. Well, there wouldn't be any Divination if there weren't any fortunes to be told, right? So who decides all these fortunes, who decides the life of our unexpected heroes? No, I'm not talking about a cookie. Join our dear friends Harry, Ron, Hermione, and other people who shouldn't have been there but have been dragged along anyway as they accidentally take a surprising and comical journey to find out.

Arthur and Molly are blessed with their first little bundle of joy, but is parenthood as easy as they expected it to be? Of course it isn't, that much is obvious.

“You would look far more dangerous had you not dipped your hair into your breakfast, Padfoot,” said Remus, propping himself on his elbows. ``Sirius slowly brought his hand to his head, and touched the ends, the sticky bits clinging to his hand. He let out a howl, and met Remus’s eyes, horrified. ``“My HAIR!”

And here we are with another round of enchanted snowballs for your reading pleasure! Coming to a computer near you this December, it's the Great Filk Wars, Gryffindor Mistletoe, and the Stuffed Elf Janitor! Stay tuned for more snowballs this December and January.

It's another amusing karaoke session with Lavender! What will the crowd do?

Harry is quite fed up with how J.K. Rowling writes his life story. The only solution can be to fire her, but when he starts writing his memoirs, he finds it isn't easy to tell his story from his own eyes... Especially when he lets his friends edit it... (Co-author: Marrietta Malfoy.)

Harry and Hedwig star in the spinoff of Finding Nemo.

Mrs Norris is a singularly improbable name for a cat. Unless one happens to be a Jane Austen fan...

Remus is practicing spells one day when Sirius comes in with a red face and hidden hand.

It's time for the Hogwarts Talent Show for a new year. Acts include 'Return of the Dead' and 'Harry and the Prefects'. A must-read for slash fans! H/G, H/D. Character death!

Voldie in love?!?!? But with whom? You'll never guess who, and you'll never guess how! And, with infusions of Monty Python and the Holy Grail and LOTR, how can you go wrong?

After Dumbledore's death, Hermione gets her first official Order assignment. Babysitting Draco Malfoy! Banter, hexes, Weasley products and craziness ensue. Dramione love/war story.

Songfic to Hero from the Spider-Man soundtrack. Harry reminisces about his life as a 'hero' and his feelings for a certain someone. Takes place at the beginning of Harry's 7th year.

Harry is missing, Hermione is worried, Draco is being insufferable and Ron’s got a theory.... It’s just another day at Hogwarts.

Sirius hasn't been himself since reaching Grimmauld Place. Remus decides to do something about it. Hilarity ensues.

Parody of songfics and weird pairings. Set to "My Beloved Monster" by the Eels. It's weird and disturbing, just to warn you.

A day in the life of the sixth year Gryffindors. Involves potions disasters, Chocolate Frog cards, and sneaking into the Slytherin dorm.

Draco insults/injures a house elf and is punished in the most unbearable way. Chaos and comedy ensue. Will he survive and make it from Rags to Quiches?

Ginny is doing her homework late at night in Gryffindor Tower when suddenly she feel like she's being watched. Is someone there that shouldn't be there? Let's have our red-haired heroine find out.

She's a witch, she's a witch... How do you know... She turns me into a newt.... Well if the truth be told, the scene really didn't go that way, but Monty Python had to work in our word. Monty Slytherin, however, were free to tell the truth about the Witch.

Minerva McGonagall and Xiomara Hooch have been friends for a long time. But how long is a long time? What happens when they meet as young girls? Will two girls who are completely different ever get along?

A pantomime version of Harry Potter. Cue bad jokes, silly songs, quotes and puns galore and the obligatory custard pies. The plot - Voldemort plans to take over the world, Draco crossdresses and Ron collects Happy Meal toys. All together now: "Oh no he doesn't!"

Mrs. Norris goes prowling to find students breaking the rules. Unexpectedly, she makes a new friend.

Gilderoy Lockhart arrives at Hogwarts after three years in St. Mungo's. He has got his memory back, partially atleast. So who does he see in the portrait? And pray tell, why does he fall in love with that person?

At the annual Order reunion, Fred and George's children decide to follow in their fathers' footsteps... Chaos and general silliness ensues! Mild George/Alicia, Fred/Angelina, mentions of Lee/Katie.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione are on the train after their third year at Hogwarts, and Harry feels that he must have missed something in the movie. How did Professor Lupin know how to use that map?

What happens when everyone we can think of decide that they are sexually deprived all at once? This, evidently. Featuring Kelso!Draco, sulking!Umbridge, dragqueen!Harry, and insane!Authorettes, this galactially stupid one-shot was written with alternating words. That explains a lot. Proof that there can be an R-rated humourfic.

MacRon wants nothing more than to be Heir of Gryffindor and he will stop at nothing to achieve that. This is a parody of Shakespeare's Macbeth and also makes fun of the cliched aspects of HP fan fics. Nothing is sacred... nothing at all! Staring Harry (Duncan), Viktor (Banquo), Hermione (Lady Macbeth), and Draco (Macduff) and the Desperate girls (Myrtle, Lavender, and Padma).

They are large, they are mean, they are Crabbe and Goyle. They are bullies and they are tired of playing the second fiddle. Time to get some real friends.

It came to me when I found a picture of Draco sitting by the fire in the Slytherin Common room.

Lupin and Snape are men on a mission, albeit one without any kind of thought-out plan. They're on their way to a small town somewhere in the Transylvanian mountains, but as for when they get there... well, they're just not all that certain about what they're actually supposed to be doing there. They are certain about one thing, however - there is no one they wouldn't rather be sent on a mission with than each other. ...But as we all know, it's not the goal but the journey there that matters! Right? Well, they're not thrilled about that, either.

And so, another epilogue is upon us. This is an epilogue to Several Blushes and Cookies, but it's not neccessary to have read the others first. This is a new chapter where Malfoy makes a comeback of sorts and we find out why he's really wearing those dog tags.

Flesh eating chickens have come to terrorize Hogwarts students, one Care of Magical Creatures class at a time. Of course, Harry and Draco are first.

Lockhart kept a diary during the events of Chamber of Secrets, and here it is.

Prequel to "Written on the Wind." Draco stumbles upon secrets, forgotten from long ago.

What the Hogwarts ghosts get up to while the students and professors ``are away.

It's not easy being a toad, especially when you belong to one Neville Longbottom.

HP/Discworld crossover. Death is unimpressed with Voldemort's quest for immortality, especially when it involves his property, but is determined to be patient nevertheless. Voldemort is unimpressed with Death's interference and is most decidedly not going to be patient. The ensuing confrontation can only be described as "...FUN".

Draco is a very bad boy. Oh, he really is. But he luuuurves Pan-- Har-- stuff.

It's the beginning of the end... and Sirius is already causing trouble! The often humorous trials and tribulations of the Marauders in their last year at Hogwarts, through their never-ending classes, raucous pranks, and numerous relationships. Established Sirius x Remus, James x Lily.

February 2007 Challenge Winner. Prompt: Professor Slughorn Spends Time in the Astronomy Tower with Seamus Finnegan.

ALL the Weasleys have red hair. A very silly little ficlet. R/H

This is some general oddness about all the characters being odd and doing odd things. Why? Because I said so! And as the author I am allowed to say so.

Harry wants Draco. Draco knows Harry wants him. But will it work?

'The inelegant rumble in my stomach causes my face to contort in concentration. Of all the times to get wind, why now?!' Professor Snape is standing up there blowing like a huge bag of hot air.

The Dark Lord is on the rise, and one by one people lose hope as people and things are torn from them. It is dangerous to be a student at Hogwarts, but our Marauders are fearless and are determined to spread chaos, mischief, and mayhem with all the enthusiasm of a basketful of puppies. Primary on this list is, of course, tormenting those who support the Dark Lord... SLYTHERINS. ``Pure and utter Marauders madness, starting with Sirius' midnight mayhem and progressing to all-out warfare between the Slytherins and Gryffindors. Featuring Sirius' teddy bear and random prank devilry.

Something is wrong with Draco and it is up to Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley to find out what! Will Ron give Malfoy the kiss of death? Will Draco remove those ridiculous boxer shorts? Will Malcolm Baddock show Professor Sprout his exotic killer plant? Only time can tell...

Written for Lar's challenge: write a fic about Harry Potter characters attending Wee Wizards camp. You get extra bonus points for mentioning camp-type activities, i.e., crafts and campfires. ``Pansy finds herself with an unlikely partner and is none too happy about it. Then again, neither is he.

Based on 'The Very Secret Diaries of the Fellowship'. Tom Riddle's Very Secret Diary the year he discovers the Chamber of Secrets and slowly falls in love with himself....

Where illusions are shattered! Where dreams are trodden in the dust! Where morons with an Imac type this s**t directly in with no revision. Watch for following pairings: Harry/Dumbledore, Padma/Dobby, Myrtle/life-size inflatable Aaron Carter doll in garter belt. Or maybe not, I don't know.

Mrs Black is snogging Caradoc Dearborn on his last Order mission. Written for Fiction Alley Park's Valentine's Day OTP challenge 2005.

Voldemort attempts a spell, which backfires and robs him of his powers, forcing him to live a Muggle lifestyle, aided by his faithful servants, Bellatrix and Wormtail.

Harry Potter wants a certain blond co-worker, but Malfoy has no idea Harry's interested in him. Harry is desperate and will do anything to get Malfoy's attention. Tired of acting as Harry's stand-in therapist, Hermione gives Harry a journal for his birthday, in order to help him work out his feelings. What follows is a series of Harry’s ramblings and scribbles about his feelings and various failed attempts at courting one Draco Malfoy.

This is a tale of love and lies, mystery and deceit, loyalty and treachery, hate and corruption. No, wait! Wrong story... it's actually about... em... sock-puppets... and... Voldemort...and one big spell!

"The commission was the most dubious one Catwoman had ever accepted. To steal a mysterious stone that nobody has seen, which was hidden inside a castle that doesn’t want to be found..." Catwoman/Harry Potter crossover.

When Ginny receives a Christmas present from her Mum, she sees that sometimes dropping a loop is the worst possible choice in knitting. (Hints at GW/DM.)

What you didn't see in Snape's Pensieve.

Harry and Ginny hate each other, and now they're in each other's bodies! Join them through their tough time being each other!

Voldemort Transfigures Harry into a donkey. It's a pity he didn't take Ali Bashir a bit more seriously.

On his first birthday after the Battle of Hogwarts, Angelina visits George with some news. Written for the Rebirth Challenge at The Quidditch Pitch.

Just a little Lockhart story, subtitled They Think I've Lost My Mind.

We've all seen interviews with the movie cast of Harry Potter, but what about the actual people in the books? Rita Skeeter now has her own chat show, and now the cast get their chance to speak.

An innocent Muggle meets the Death Eaters.

Hermione makes an entry in her diary about some strange happenings at Hogwarts. Muggles have arrived, and it's all her fault!

Harry's running from the press at the Quidditch World Cup! Can Oliver save the day? Sporks, the weapon of choice.

Seems like all the kids with the great brains have the disadvantage when it comes to Apparating, so it's no surprise that the goof-ball, James Potter, does it better than the smart girl, Lily Evans.

Scylla is a sixteen-year-old girl who was raised in London, England. Scylla is madly in love with her best friend, Terry, but doesn't know if he feels the same. Now her parents are trying to fix her up with none other than Draco Malfoy. Will Scylla choose Draco or Terry? Will she win the man of her dreams or fall for the mysterious Draco?

The Wizarding World's on strike, Harry's scar hurts and the Dark Lord pays a visit.

We know what happened to Harry, Hermione, and Neville at the Ministry, but what happened to Ron? Blowing up planets and being strangled isn't anything to what he finds out....

A rainy Saturday with nothing to do. Six teens. Hormones. What do all these have in common, you ask? ...Don't say we didn't warn you.

This is when members of Hogwarts receive random fan mail. Chaos shall ensue with the random letters they receive.

A journal, or rather, a log of thoughts from one of Hogwarts finest pranksters--aside from the Weasley Twins. Get into the mind of Sean Atkins, a fifth year Gryffindor with unique sense of humor. However, he makes drastic changes to his carefree and aloof lifestyle when he meets, ahem, the "girl of his dreams" and begins to chase after her. People think of him as a mental case--after he cleans up himself and his act... A good story about just being yourself when all else fails.

Harry, while on assignment for the Order post-Hogwarts, stumbles across a meeting of the Society for Creative Anachronism.

Hermione Krum is a married chorus girl with hopes of being a headliner in Hogsmeade. Ginny Weasley is a former headliner. What do these two have in common? They both are murderesses. Hermione killed her lover when he walked out on her, and Ginny killed her husband and Squib sister, who were having an affair. Hogsmeade's newspapers love the nitty-gritty and Ginny is at the top of the headlines. But then Hermione comes along and Ginny is old news. They find themselves competing for not only the press' attention, but also the focus of their shared lawyer, the suave Harry Potter. Add to the mix Hermione's hapless husband Viktor and a warm prison matron who watches out for her girls (if there's something in it for her), and you have Hogsmeade.

Just a series of interesting stories. One every week!

An eighteen-year-old Dung Fletcher is in dire need of money, and together with a friend he comes up with the idea of the century... to rob Gringott's.

Nick is turned down for the Headless Hunt (again) and finds a sympathetic ear in the form of second year Luna Lovegood. However when she hatches a scheme to decapitate him properly, is Nick really ready to fix his little problem permanently?

'...Naturally everyone has their mish-mash days, but mine generally only happen when the wanglesgrout has lodged itself up my nose again.' Neville asks Luna how she is, and ends up going in over his head. Luna/Neville.

McGonagall, Dumbledore, Moody and Arthur decide to go bowling.

The story so far... Harry has just found Tom Riddle in the Chamber of Secrets. Tom has begun to recount a tale of his past exploits though Harry remains blissfully unaware of the nature of Tom’s true identity. Tom kindly decides to help him out...

Bad things are happening at Hogwarts. It must be the Slytherins' faults.

Draco finally realizes what he's put into his hair. Who's going to rescue his precious locks if not Harry?

An author named Joanne speaks with an increasingly flustered Harry Potter about a series of books she has written about his time at Hogwarts. Harry is worried about the many glaring inconsistencies within the stories, and several odd titles, such as 'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone'.

What happens when Ravenclaw House has a baby staying with them? How do the Ravenclaws deal with it---not to mention the teachers! Set in the _Slytherin Rising_ universe.

One night, on a dark heath, the Dark Lord met with his minions for a night of bloodthirsty deeds. But the Death Eaters didn't really fancy all that evilness (it was a bit chilly, after all), so they showed Lord Voldemort the wonder that is The Sound of Music. Watch him laugh, cry and skip about in an amusing manner.

This is the last battle, in a humorous way. A chicken, some radioactive squirrels, a turkey, some frogs and a fox made their way into this unique fic. Read, if you dare.

Who knew that warring roommates could help your spellwork?

My name is Gilderoy Lockhart and I am perfect. I magnetically and magically attract the love of every sane human being, as well as that offer from that one wizard with a really good imagination but who unfortunately lives in Bangkok.

Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair are confused about their Floo bill. A Mr. S. Black has been using the fireplace, but the only other residents are the Jarvey and their large dog, Harold...

Remus and Sirius discover that Summoning Charms can have unexpected consequences. (R/S)

Harry is being chased by Death Eaters, until he is cornered. What will happen in the end?

Hazel and Fairley have been best friends since preschool, when Hazel dumped paint all over Fairley's new sweater and``Fairley later got blue marker on Hazel's cheek. The summer after they turn eleven, they receive unexpected news. But it can't be real, can it?``Harry Potter's just a book...

A potions accident leaves Snape as a cat until who-knows-when. Harry's already got his hands full when a prankster starts sabotaging the rebuilding of Hogwarts. But what if it's not just a prank?

Was it always meant to be? Harry and Hermione in love? Mild Fluff.

"It was a beautiful, lazy Sunday, and only the most studious of students were in the library. Most were seventh years. All were being heckled by Madam Pince." Blaise has a typical Sunday morning.

Eugene knows everything. Creepy isn't it.``Hinted at past R/Hr``Definite H/Hr

Strange things are happening to our heroes. Who is responsible?

(During Harry's second year.) Furious at how Lucius Malfoy is spreading word about the flying car incident, Arthur Weasley confronts him at the Ministry of Magic. Chaos and slash ensue. [AW/LM]

The celebration of Draco's birthday leads to a fight with Harry, who only wanted to share his Muggle customs.

Harry Potter has turned to drinking after defeating Voldemort. What's happened to our innocent, save-the-world hero?