What's Wrong with Draco?

What's wrong with Albus Dumbledore?

It was a day like any other. Albus Dumbledore, headmaster at Hogwarts was going shopping for groceries with his best shopping buddy, Dobby. They were at the junk food aisle, when it happened. Poor Dobby saw the whole thing so he decides to tell us what really happened.

"Dobby was most unhelpful. Bad Dobby! Bad Dobby! Dobby is frightened, miss. Dobby will leave now and go do laundry to make Dobby feel better. Dobby will also shut his fingers on the oven door. Dobby will also listen to Lucius Malfoy sing 'Old McDonald had a farm'-his own version of course going something like: 'Old McDonald had a farm and the Dark Lord shall burn it! He is a muggle! Ha! He is a muggle! Ha! He is a muggle! Ha! And the Dark Lord shall burn it!' Dude, if Dobby has to hear the guy sing that song one more time, Dobby will go crazy!"

Yes, poor Dobby is unavailable for questioning but I will narrate what really happened in my own words. How do I know this, you ask? Duh, I am the author. I know everything!

After Albus came back from shopping, he returned to his duties as headmaster. Harry Potter was waiting for him when he arrived.

"How was grocery shopping, professor?" Harry asked.

"Huh? Yeah...it was great. I have to leave now. I am feeling very woozy."

So the elderly professor went to the teachers' sleeping quarters to take a short nap. He looked outside the window. The night was still, except for the chirping of crickets and the occasional hoot of an owl flying off into the distance going somewhere to deliver a letter, its great sweeping wings flying towards the half-moon until it disappeared. Dumbledore blinked. The half-moon. He started shaking severely. His head started spinning and everything was turning dark. He clenched his teeth as the changing process began. He shrunk several feet, his long silver beard disappeared, certain male body parts turned into certain female body parts. He found himself wearing a petite uniform. Dumbledore shook his head. He had turned into...into...a...a...A GIRL SCOUT!!!!

"Would you like to buy a cookie?" he asked the sky before running off to find prey.

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"Did you notice that Dumbledore looked a bit odd this morning?" Hermione asked Ron and Harry.

"Well, excluding the fact that he told me he was having his first menstrual period this morning, no. He seemed like himself," Ron said.

"He told you he was having his period?!" Hermione asked loudly. Several passerbies turned to stare at Hermione, and she blushed.

"Ron! Tell me the truth!" she hissed.

"Yeah. Exactly what he said. He asked me if I would like any help crossing the hall to class too. Geez, he sounds like some girl scout."

"Ron. We should go check on him," Harry said worriedly.

"No!" Ron yelled. "Remember last time we went to check on someone?! I nearly got killed! Luckily, Millicent Bulstrode came into the shop after you two left and she saved me from Fred and George! She's a better friend!"

"Then why don't you go give her a hug?" Harry asked. "She seems lonely."

"On second thought, did I mention you guys are the bestest buds a guy could ask for? I mean really!"

"Suuuuree we are...now can we please go check up on him?" Hermione said impatiently.

"Fine!" Ron yelled.

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"Professor?" Hermione squeaked. "Professor Dumbledore, are you in here?"

The three of them slowly crept to his office. He wasn't there.

"See? He is not there!" Ron said. "Now can we leave??"

"No! We have to find him!"

"No need, darlings. Prof's right here lookin' really sexy as usual."

The three of them turned around and screamed.

"Professor!" Hermione shouted. "You are wearing pink!"

"Hey! Real men wear pink!" Dumbledore pointed out.

"He's got a point you know..." Harry said slightly moving his robes to reveal a pink shirt.

"But, real men don't wear pink tutus!" Hermione screamed, and shuddering when she looked at Dumbledore.

"Are you insulting me?" Dumbledore sobbed. "Why does everybody hate me!!??"

"Calm down, professor. It's all right. Please explain why you are behaving like this," said Hermione.

"Hehehehehehe. Who farted?" Dumbledore giggled.

Hermione sighed, but then her eyes popped out in amazement.

"I got it!" she screeched.

"You know who farted?" asked Ron confusedly.

"You know, that kind of sounds like you said Voldemort (You-know-who) farted," said Harry.

"No you crazy idiots! I know why Dumbledore is behaving like this."

"Why?" both Harry and Ron asked.

"Because he is a were-scout! All the symptoms are there! Constant giggling and girlie behavior. Don't you see? A girl scout bit him when he went shopping, so every half-moon, he turns into a girl scout and in the morning, he returns to his normal body, but he still acts like a girl scout."

"So, he could probably bite us and turn into girl scouts like himself?" Harry asked.

"Er, not exactly. He can bite you two and turn you into girl scouts, but he can't bite me because I am already a girl and I was a girl scout when I was nine."

"So, we should probably run?" asked Ron.

"Yep."

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The chase began. Harry and Ron were running away from Dumbledore who was trying to bite them.

Several minutes later, Hermione found them and said, "You know you could have asked me how to cure him right?"

"Why didn't you tell us there was a cure like an hour ago?" Ron shrieked.

"Dunno. Didn't feel like it. Anyway, you just have to offer him a cookie. He will turn back to himself after he touches the cookie."

"Right. And where do we find a cookie?!!" Ron asked incredulously.

"I have one in my pocket," replied Harry.

"You carry cookies in your pocket?"

"You never know when you might need a cookie. They are very handy."

"Right. Just offer the cookie for goodness sakes."

Harry and Ron slowly approached Dumbledore.

"Professor would you like a cookie?" said Ron slowly.

"Ooooooohhh!!!" Dumbledore yelped and he snatched the cookie.

Several seconds later, Dumbledore snapped out of it.

He looked at his scared students and then at the cookie he was holding.

"Mmm...What flavor is this cookie?" he asked.