Eight Lives

Eight Lives

The commission was the most dubious one Catwoman had ever accepted. To steal a mysterious stone that nobody has seen, which was hidden inside a castle that doesn't want to be found. Still, the client paid in cash and paid well, including a roundtrip flight to Scotland, and Selena Kyle was too strapped for cash to refuse.

Initially, things went smoothly upon her arrival. A mangy cat provided her with a set of keys to the entire castle. This particular feline was the companion of the school's caretaker, and liked him well enough to put up with the indignity of being addressed as "Mrs. Norris." As she roamed the castle, Catwoman discovered some odd things that even the American/British cultural gap couldn't explain. Such as why all the paintings moved, the students waved around wooden sticks while yelling Latin phrases, and both students and staff possessed fashion senses that seemed hopelessly stuck in the Middle Ages.

Determining the location of the stone wasn't difficult either. The bearded old principle told the students not to visit the right hand side third floor corridor on pain of death. Naturally, it was the first place Catwoman headed for.

Then things started to fall apart.

The corridor was guarded by a ferocious three-headed dog who would certainly have no difficulties in gobbling up trespassing students. In fact, she lost her first life in less than five minutes when she tried to get past it. The second time around, she managed to distract one head with a dog treat, and another one with a chew toy, but the sleeping third head woke up just as she was about to go down the trapdoor, and another life was lost. Finally, Catwoman heard an overgrown man talking about how Fluffy the three- headed dog needed to hear his lullabye to sleep, and got past the hell hound with a dog whistle and a smile.

Her claws made short work of the plants that tried to strangle her, but the next room had her baffled. A chamber full of fluttering keys, and a broomstick hovering in mid-air. Remembering how even the eleven-year olds here zoomed across the sky on their broomsticks, Catwoman gave it a shot. Unfortunately, flying wasn't as easy as it looked, and falling sixty feet was not a pleasant way to lose a life.

She was ready to quit the job until she overheard a conversation between a bushy haired girl and two boys. "Harry, Ron, I've got it!" the girl had shouted, "Nicolas Flamel is the maker of the Philosopher's Stone!" At the utterly blank looks on her companions' faces, the girl rolled her eyes and continued, "the Philosopher's Stone has the ability to convert base metals into gold. It can also grant the user immortality..." Having heard all she needed to, Catwoman silently clambered down the outside of the tower, lost in thought.

Limitless wealth and everlasting life. Catwoman had no intentions of delivering the stone to her client now, not when she'd decided that this prize was truly worth dying for.

One more life was used up in her attempt to master aerial acrobatics. After painfully picking herself up from the floor, Catwoman finally smartened up and snatched the key out of mid-air with a single flick of her whip. Following that, she was so frazzled that she failed the logic puzzle and drank the poison by mistake. Somersaulting across the chessboard almost worked, but she was cut down by a bishop just before she reached the other end of the board. Playing her way across the board proved to be much more challenging. Although there were three empty spots on her side of the chessboard, there was only one of her, and it took her two more tries before she could defeat the black side without a bishop or castle.

When she finally stumbled into the last room, there was no stone in sight. Only a large and dusty mirror stood in the empty room, and Catwoman was ready to punch her fist through it in frustration. But when she stepped up to it, she did not see her own enraged relection. Instead, she saw Selena Kyle as an old and grey woman, sipping margaritas on a sunny porch and laughing with friends. Before she realized what she was doing, Catwoman had rushed up to the mirror and pressed a hand to the cold glass. The women in the mirror waved at her cheerfully, and her alter ego raised a margarita glass in salute.

The next day, Catwoman headed back for Gotham City with only the clothes on her back and her last remaining life. Life, she had decided, was too short to waste on a quest for eternity.

***

The End