Missing in Action

Riibu

Story Summary:
Mrs Black is snogging Caradoc Dearborn on his last Order mission. Written for Fiction Alley Park's Valentine's Day OTP challenge 2005.

Chapter 01

Posted:
02/03/2006
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Little did Caradoc Dearborn know that this mission would be his last for the Order.

"Go to 12 Grimmauld Place," Dumbledore had said. "We need to be sure if Regulus Black is indeed a Death Eater. And if so, we must find a way to save him."

"To save him, Sir?"

"His brother's wish."

"Of course, Sirius. Why on earth can't he go? That place is his home!"

"He's a blood traitor. Mrs Black would kill him instantly if he dared to enter."

"I understand. Those ancient pureblood families are so fascinatingly decadent. How am I supposed to get in, then? You know my family can hardly be found in any pureblood genealogy."

"Use your talent, Caradoc," Dumbledore finished with a twinkle in his eye.

* * * * *

Caradoc had only one talent. He was an excellent lover. At least that was what his women had told him. Oh yes, he had had plenty of them -- young, old, fat, thin, beautiful, ugly, Muggle and witch. He had to admit he loved women. All of them. Perhaps one day he would find his true love, the one woman he loved more than others, but as long as he hadn't found his perfect match he just kept searching.

Caradoc didn't hesitate. He had recently dated a talkative reporter of Witch Weekly who had told him all the latest gossip in the wizarding world. From her, Caradoc had learned that the widowed Mrs Black was currently seeking a 'fresh relationship'. It sounded very promising. That night Caradoc sent owl post to 12 Grimmauld Place, introducing himself, and suggesting a dinner in a dimly lit seafood restaurant.

* * * * *

The date wasn't a total disaster, but Mrs Black stayed oddly cold. After the dessert she whispered an explanation in his ear: "I don't kiss blood traitors in public. Let's go to my place."

Oh shit, thought Caradoc. She checked out the pureblood register after all. This was most unnerving, but he couldn't retreat now. He was on an Order mission, and he had promised Dumbledore he would get inside 12 Grimmauld Place.

It was a night Caradoc would never forget. If Regulus Black would have come home that night, he would have seen - to his ultimate horror - Mrs Black snogging Caradoc Dearborn. But Regulus never arrived to interrupt them, and Caradoc learned that Mrs Black was a passionate woman who knew surprisingly many ways to please even such an experienced man as himself.

Only at the crack of dawn the disturbance came, in the form of a loud knock on the door.

"Who's that?" muttered Mrs Black sleepily. "Is Regulus again so drunk he can't cast even the opening spell properly?"

But soon a house-elf led a Ministry official to the main bedroom. It must be said that the official looked somewhat out of place there, casting anxious glances towards the bed where Mrs Black lay beside an athletic man at least twice as young as her.

"Kreacher!" screamed Mrs Black with a voice much nastier than she had used to talk to Caradoc. "Take that man away! I'm not properly dressed!"

"I'm sorry to interrupt you, Madam," said the nervous-looking official. "But I bring you sad news that can't wait." The man wiped sweat from his forehead. "Your son Regulus Black was killed by a Death Eater."

It took some time before Mrs Black could find anything to answer.

"My son is not a Death Eater!" she shouted furiously. "You have no proof! You're accusing him of something he hasn't done!"

"Madam, I didn't say he was a Death Eater. I said he was killed by a Death Eater."

A silence. There was something in Mrs Black's eyes that made the Ministry official stop what he was going to say next. Instead, he muttered a silent 'I'm sorry', and promptly fled from the room.

Caradoc Dearborn wasn't happy. The mood was disturbed, and his mission had just become utterly vain. He tried to find an excuse to leave, but as he turned he found himself facing Mrs Black's wand. Her hand shook a little, but the wand she held was pointed firmly at his forehead.

"You did it. You and your twisted ideals. Muggle-lovers." She spat the word like a curse. "You fooled him, and made him leave his own blood."

"Darling, don't blame me. Blame the Death Eaters. You heard it yourself -- the Death Eaters killed your son. Turn your anger towards them -- they killed him. I'm sorry."

"What do you know!" screamed Mrs Black. "I have no son any more! What do you know?"

The situation was getting out of hand. Caradoc knew he had to act. He needed to help this woman to get over her anger and pain, and fortunately he knew just the right way to do it. A passionate French kiss, and some more caressing -- that was what (Caradoc hoped) would help Mrs Black relax and loosen her grip on the threatening wand.

* * * * *

No one knows what happened afterwards. Some say Caradoc Dearborn was killed that day. Some say Mrs Black kept him as a prisoner in the basement to satisfy her sensual needs. Some wicked tongues claim they decided to leave their previous life behind and flee to the Bahamas together.

Only one thing is known for sure: Caradoc Dearborn never returned from his last Order mission, and his later whereabouts are unknown.