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What happens when Fred and George tried to play Cupid to Hermione?

Harry wakes up in unfamiliar surroundings and meets a woman known only as the Dungeon Master. She sends him and several companions from his own universe on a quest to conquer an evil wizard (no, not that one). Crossover with the Dungeons & Dragons roleplaying game. Takes place during the summer before Fifth Year and largely ignores OotP.

Neville didn't get to go to the Yule Ball with Hermione because of Viktor Krum. Harry is now interested in Hermione, but she doesn't want to have to choose between him and Ron. Harry wishes that Neville could be her boyfriend, so one of them might be happy. Little does he realise what will come of this wish.... (Overt H/Hr, hinted R/Hr, overt N/Hr.)

Hermione finds Ron's notes on what kissing her is like.

Draco hates Harry. Harry hates Draco. Right? Wrong. Draco loses his pants, Harry gets smashed, and what is going on in that Quidditch shed anyway?

Every year the Sorting Hat decides which House each student belongs in. But how does it *really* make the decision?

In love with Harry Potter?! HA! The only thing Draco Malfoy feels for Potter is intense hatred... isn't it?

Lord Voldemort was in the bathroom.````And, judging from the large empty space on the bookshelf, he had taken Uncle John's Bathroom Reader with him.````Have you ever wondered what life with the Dark Lord is like? What does he do when he's not trying to kill Harry? Let's all take a look at Voldemort in a way he never intended for people to see...let's go in the house with the Dark Lord.

It's a conspiracy! A SS/HG tale starring Mad-Eye Moody.

Professor Snape is a very disagreeable man, not to mention stubborn. So naturally everyone is surprised when he is chosen to be Hogwarts new Sex Ed teacher.

Born of a challenge by the Sphinx, this is my version of Quidditch in Bed, the innuendo-fest that is a Gryffindor's guide to putting the *ahem* Quaffle through the hoop. The first chapter gives a list of the titles of subsequent chapters. There were certain required elements, which are also duly noted.

A mildly fluffy romantic comedy set in Post-Hog London about what happens when Ginny ever-so-politely asks Harry to deflower her.

In which Harry quits in spectacular fashion. Nobody is happy about it... not even Draco Malfoy. (Written before HBP. Sixth year. H/D slashy overtones.)

The Slytherins and the Marauders have to face the consequences ``of their actions. A sequel to "Stuck" and "Stuck in the Muddle" (and the inspiration ``for "If Ewe Are Prepared.")

Dobby sings!

It had all the ingredients of a great evening: chocolate biscuits, a practical joke (perfectly executed, despite one slight problem with the concept), sneaking around the castle at night, narrow escapes from various predatory creatures, and a little-known secret passage to explore. Except Remus was thirty-four and he ought to know better, and he had a snarky Potions Master along for company. (Semi-sequel to "My Teenage Fan Club," but makes sense on its own.)

Harry returns for his seventh year at Hogwarts only to find he's forgotten something rather important over the summer. Harry/Draco slash, mpreg.

An April Fool's Day prank on Severus Snape goes horribly, horribly wrong with amusing results (but Snape is not amused!) Snape suspects a certain moon-temperamental DADA teacher...but is he really the one to blame?

It’s Harry’s eighteenth birthday party, and he and Draco make drunken conversation which may lead to something more. Involves secret identities, autographs, kissing, tickling, and a bit of “Who’s your daddy?” Slash.

A Lily/James love story with a definite twist. Do not read it if you don't want to see that pair as anything other than Harry's sweet, noble parents.

Everyone's fed up with Ron and Hermione's "secret" attraction to each other. What happens when a small plan to get them together turns into a massive project involving a good portion of the student body? A humorous read for anyone who finds the Ron/Hermione romance in the books mind bogglingly frustrating.

Harry is hurting after Sirius's death. One day, while he and Remus are cleaning out Sirius's room, they discover a story of sorts that the Marauders wrote during their fifth year at Hogwarts, about, what else? The many gruesome deaths of Severus Snape! These stories help Harry get through his troubles about Sirius and help him get through his depression.

It's a boring day at James' house. That is, of course, until Remus finds a book titled Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

Her milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard And they're like Its better than yours And she's like I'm not just some score Ginny is practically swimming in young men, but there's a problem...BOYS ARE NEEDY!!!

A parody of the famous "How the Grinch Stole Christmas," by Dr. Seuss.

Harry's sixth year is full of everything from Gilderoy Lockhart and his Dueling Club to the shifting loyalties of Blaise Zabini. From pranks to detention, and even a women willing to love a werewolf.

Sirius, James, and Peter seem to think that since I read so much, I should write as well. Something like keeping a journal. So they gave me this. This “nifty, big, red, beautiful book”, according to James. Peter says to make it my life’s work, adding to it as my life progresses. They’re all idiots, but maybe I’m even worse, since I’m here writing in the blasted thing. (This fan fiction is an AU)

Ron has become VERY openly gay and is in love with Harry. Draco & Ginny are dating, Ron is completely flaming, and a surprise visit from Voldemort!!!

My own take on what happened when the Marauders found out that Remus was... you know... different.

Harry gets the paper and Ron gets confused. Takes place at the Weasleys’ after Draco Malfoy has let a few (dubious!) things slip to the press.

A humourous yet mysterious fic going into the mind of someone (or something) that does not like Harry Potter. Some very sarcastic points, and some repetition. The riddle: Whose point of view is this told from?

Severus drags Harry to a Wizarding auction. "Collecting Cursed Artefacts is a registered form of madness in the Compendium of Wizarding Mental Disorders and Other Things That Make You Twitch," Severus said, "like most compulsions to collect. But it's very a popular one and I plan to beat everyone else to it." Part of the Primer to the Dark Arts universe.

Lily, James, Sirius and Remus, chatting about what they will name their kids if they ever have some - a somewhat mindless piece of fluffy dialogue, in which Lily is defenitely not lucky to have such boys for friends.

Well, the Yule Ball\'s back again. What do you think will happen when a fight breaks out between Gryffindors about who has it easier around ball time? The boys? Or the girls?

A challenge fic from MsVirginiaAnneMalfoy. The Gryffindors decide to throw a New Years Eve party. Lots of stupidity, drunkeness, and some crossdressing.

Cheer up Harry. So Voldemort wants to kill you, so what? He always wants to kill you. It's a fact. Why not relax and listen to some quality Monty Python songs?

Harry can do a lot of things, but can he get a job? ``People will speculate over the dinner table, and thus I imagined this little problem.... The Job Interview!

I originally had this on fanfiction.net but the stupid site isn't working so I decided to come over here, anyway...MWPP & Lily go to the future ``to meet The Dream Team but there's a twist :) Older Remus and Sirius don't remember coming to the future when they were kids. How can this be? Is there a chance that they could save Lily and James Before it's to late? And a new student! Who is this mystery girl, and how does she connect to Harry's past? No young Peter. Maybe the older him will show up in the story later.

It was a dark and stormy night. Harry Potter was dared to ask someone something very private, with very unexpected results.

Potions Master Severus Snape ends up getting the short end of the proverbial stick, when a malicious trick by Draco Malfoy against Harry Potter goes horribly wrong.

Harry is preparing for the start of term at Hogwarts when he receives an unexpected owl with an unusual request from Draco Malfoy. What will his Aunt Petunia say? More important, what will the Weasleys think? Harry must set aside his own feelings and desires for EVERYBODY as he tries to make it through his 5th year in one piece.

When Lily Evans find a special present from Petunia in her suitcase, Sirius uses the 'gift' to torment James.

It was the most diabolical plot of their time.... Now, if only they could pull it off. *Complete*

Unfortunately for the Marauders, the Halloween ball is gaining ground on them. While James is quite busy having girlfriend troubles, Remus prepares for a date with a full moon, and Peter deals with his demons and confronts his mango-flavoured body wash. And then there’s Sirius, who is quite busy himself with open jars of peanut butter, spiking punch, and overcoming strange feelings for a certain girl (cringe). How will the Marauders ever survive this chaotic ordeal? Will they all be driven absolutely stark raving mad in the process? Read, Review, and Find Out!

A funny thing hormone can be, and the things it can do is quite...er, quaint.

Harry Potter receives a letter from Lupin regarding a new godfather. While Harry is miserable, Voldemort continues to hunt him down.

Hermione has finished Hogwarts and is back and living with her parents while waiting frantically for her NEWT results. In a desperate attempt to calm her nerves, she calls her friends (and some people not so friendly), and their answering machines pick up, revealing some startling information.

Romilda Vane and the girls from the Hogwarts Charms Club rally together to try to catch the eye of Harry Potter and promote him for Witch Weekly's most prestigious award.

Draco, Harry, Ron and Hermione are kidnapped by two crazed authors. Lucius is all hysterical and Snape is and always will be a slime git. :) If you like violence and humor mixed together then this is the fic for you.

A humorous (hopefully) fic which follows the Marauders through fifth year and onwards. How will James ever get Lily to go out with him? Warning - Soapy frying pans ahead!

Sirius struggles to make Remus forgive him for for 'the prank' he played on Snape, but fails to understand why his friend is so upset. An unusual punishment from Dumbledore and a surprising ally help Sirius try to make it better.

A hilarious spoof from the first Harry Potter book. Harry is retarded, Ron likes dancing, and Hermione... well she's Hermione. The prequel to Harry Potter and the Half-Witted Prince.

You know this is a fan fic, I know this is a fan fic, everybody (and I do mean everybody) knows it's a fan fic. Now that we've got that out of the way- It's Harry Potter's fifth year and I have taken it upon myself to bring a little culture into the Wizarding world. What kind of culture? Well... you’ll find out. You’d think, since this is a fan fic, that I’d have no trouble in bringing the Rocky Horror Picture Show to the stage of Hogwarts.... I put a great deal of emphasis on the word think.

Snape discovers that Harry fits him perfectly. A Romantic comedy that will (hopefully) have you in stitches.

An accident with a potion upends the comfortable relationship Remus and Severus have had in the three years following the end of the war. How well do two middle-aged men react to change? This is meant as a humorous look at the MPREG cliché and has a very low squick factor.

Fred and George decide that hooking up Ron with Hermione would ``be the perfect advertisement for their matchmaking business. However, their plans ``to hook up the two don't go as well as they had hoped for they wind up matching ``up Hermione with someone else.

The Marauders vs. the Slytherins! While everyone else parties happily away on the Yule Ball, James Potter, Sirius Black, Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy have a hell of a night not being quite themselves. Chapters 1 and 2, and more to come!

Hermione and Ginny have a question. Sirius and Remus agree to answer.

How did the Marauders meet? Includes the points of view of all the Marauders.

Hermione gets mad, then gets revenge.

It's Harry and Ginny's wedding night, and it isn't just the bride with the jitters! Consumed with the job of destroying Lord Voldemort, Harry's sexual escapades have been limited at best. When he consults a Harlequin romance novel for tips, Harry gets more than he bargains for...and doesn't understand how wet knickers can possibly be considered sexy.

Thanks to *another* lost coin toss, Severus Snape has to teach the Slytherins and Gryffindor's the facts of life.

Chaos ensues after Witch Weekly, seeking to increase readers, decides to create a boyband out of five seemingly talentless wizards: Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Ron Weasley, Neville Longbottom, and Oliver "Toss Your Knickers Here" Wood.

We've all had the talk at one point or another, right? But from our parents....How would you feel, girls if you received this "talk" from Fleur Delacour? Or guys, from Fred or George Weasley? Well three certain Gryffindors are about to experience sex advice at it's worst. And what - pray tell - does Draco Malfoy have to do with it? From Harry's POV.

OotP-AU.

The young Marauders play a prank on Severus.

The O.W.L. woes of Fifth Year begin in mid-February, when every student must complete the Potions Practical Assessment Task. Professor Snape is terrified, Hermione runs amok and Ron runs to the rescue. Meanwhile, Harry Potter writes some truly awful poetry. In Chapter 1 we attend the staff meeting that Severus Snape will regret forever. (This story was written prior to OotP, and has since been rendered utterly and unapologetically AU.)

After the war, the Wizarding world needs to be rebuilt and wizards need to stand together again. The future demands a new order, and the women are up to that task. --- SS/HG/LM

A parody of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone that takes place during the Riddle era. Starring the infamous Flower Potter who survived Grindelwalds ye old grande de wrath filling in for Harry, the poor but humorous Haruko Weasley filling for Ron, and the incredibly attractive nagging bookworm Tom Riddle filling in for Hermione. Together, with plot devices, lucky, and insanity, they're going to protect the Stone of Hot Ice from Grindelwald!

Harry's wand is eleven inches, nice and supple, and so is that bit of timber he carries around with him. Warning: lewd behavior dead ahead.

Harry's in love and Hermione and Ron are going to find out who he loves, no questions asked.

Nobody knows why they all love Mary Sue. They just do. Includes a SoundofMusicsinging!Snape, childlike!Dumbledore, and as always perfectineverywayexceptherbrain!Mary Sue.

This is couple of little scenes, drawn together under the assumptions that evil villains do sit together for a nightcap like everyone else, too. These scenes feature Voldemort, the Malfoys, the Lestranges, Wormtail as a waiter, Greyback, Snape obviously... And later on, you'll meet even more notorious scoundrels that you know from outside of the Potterverse.

Here it is! Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire consensed to five lines per chapter!!!

What happens when Draco, Harry, and Ron appear on a Dating Game? Do you really want to know? Do they want to know? Chaos once again ensues between the three, along with one other....

Things start to get a little crazy when the Weasleys get a new swimming pool and are left with it for seven hours... with Fred and George in charge!

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets condensed to five lines per chapter (yes, I've counted). The second in the Five Line Series.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's (Sorcerer's Stone for you Americans out there) Stone in five lines or less!!!

Insanity ensues when, in her seventh year, Hermione accepts a challenge! Armed with friends, a new found deviousness, and a list of 99 ways to piss snape off, Hermione must make the most of her seventh year. HG/SS, but not romantically...yet

It\'s the sixth year at Hogwarts and He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named has used That-Which-Will-Not-Be-Named... for reasons that are better left unspoken! Join Harry and Draco as they valiantly try to save the day, and just end up digging themselves in deeper. Trophies, bratwurst, and mud, oh my!

Harry and Ron host a show for VH1, and they're about to discover just who's dating whom in the world of fan fictions. Even if it's against their will.

The magical world needs more than magic. They need KARAOKE! Teachers are judges, the world is the audience and Draco hates Snape's hair!

Have you ever seen that completely silly and hilarious show hosted by Drew Carrey? If you have then you can imagine what craziness and complete silliness ensues when the HP crew get's involved. With Remus as host, and Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Snape as the panel, what would happen? Read to find out.

Two letters written by Sirius, twenty years apart.

Harry really ought to learn to knock, since Remus can't learn to restrain himself.

Hermione joins an unusual club....

At age sixteen, James and Sirius are left alone in James' house for seventy-two hours. The horror. The chaos. The bloodshed. The spells gone wrong. The amazing amount of bunny ears. Also featuring Lupin As A Dining Room Chair and a Very Very Very Very Drunk Sirius making snow angels. (WHEEE!!!)

Christmas shopping is always a hassle. Christmas shopping with your two closest friends for a present for your wife, on your first Christmas together? Oh that’s always worse.``James was always intelligent when it came to spells, enchantments and hexes. Not so much in the Why These Blokes Are My Friends area, though.

Bond!Ron is back! This time he\'s sent to Boston, Massachusetts in the good ol\' US of A to recapture Draco Malfoy who seems to have escaped. And Malfoy\'s not the only person from Ron\'s past who\'s in Boston — Hermione\'s there as well. She\'s working as an agent for the American Aurors, the very agent Ron\'s been partnered with. Their sleuthing leads them to a nightclub called the Electric Dragon, home of every nefarious activity in the Boston area. While Harry\'s mooning after Ginny and Ginny\'s mooning after Malfoy, Ron and Hermione have to figure out a way to work together without killing each other. No one ever said the course of true love ran smooth.

This year, Father Christmas is busy. He asks his dear friend Albus to help him give away presents to the students of his school. Find out what our favourite characters asked for (Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, the Weasley twins, etc).

Harry is training to become an Animagus in a surrounding appropriate to his soon-to-be species. Now if they could just keep out the pesky Death Eaters....

Ron and Hermione observe their six daughters' physical and mental features before they take them to Hogwarts Express. The beginning of series of families observing their children's character traits.

"Don't touch it!" Teddy shouted, but since when had James Potter started obeying commands? He turned the hourglass and the world around them started spinning... and spinning... and spinning.

The Marauders' Sorting Ceremony! Severus Snape makes a guest appearance.

When Remus Lupin catches a horrible flu, nobody thinks twice about it. But when, one by one, the fever spreads to the other Marauders, its results bring about more attention and even more problems than they needed. (A Pre-OotP canon story.)

After a new Ministry decree forces Tonks to resign from her job, Remus matches wits with Dolores Umbridge. Who knew the kindly werewolf could be so Machiavellian?

Early married life has its ups and downs, and everyone from the Dark Lord to the house elves seem to know what's best for the yet-unborn heir to Malfoy Manor. But demons, the intervention of the local Hunt, and the dinner party from Hell aren't going to stop Narcissa getting what she wants out of life. And she's just about to meet someone with an even stronger survival instinct.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione are in their sixth years; Harry and Ron are going to be Aurors and Hermione, a member of the Department of Muggle Relations. Hermione is not in Harry's and Ron's DADA class, and is jealous when she finds out that the new DADA teacher is the most powerful witch in the world, Willow Rosenberg from Sunnydale, California. Harry still misses Sirius incredibly and wishes to bring him back, so he asks Willow if she can help... But when Willow says no, he tries to get revenge on Bellatrix Lestrange, getting himself hurt. So Willow decides to help Harry, Ron, and Hermione bring Sirius back through the veil... And discovers someone else who needs to be brought back...

Draco Malfoy is in a bit of a situation. You see, he's been turned back into a ferret. And a Weasley is the only one who can hear him talk. That Weasley is Ginny.

SLASH. Goyle wants to know what "wanking" means. Draco has to explain it to him.