It's Totally Cool (To Howl)

James' expression softened slightly at the mention of their absent friend's name. "I suppose..." he began.

"What if he bites us?" - Peter interrupted, his voice quivering.

"What if he bites Snape?" Sirius' face broke into a grin. "Picture that! Come on guys, if he was going to bite us he'd have done so already. And, honestly, can you see Remus eating a Bulgarian peasant? He's so picky about his food. And he never starts fights. Have you ever seen him really mad? He can't be that vicious a beast. I bet he has some great stories!"

Sirius was getting carried away as usual, his eyes gleaming. Peter was looking at him hopefully, wanting to believe...

"I don't think it works like that, Sirius," James said flatly. "Werewolves are monsters. Remus probably spends his days trying hard not to get mad and kill people. As for 'his stories'... you can dismiss the book all you want, but haven't you heard the real stories? Or that interview with that captured German werewolf, about the thrill of the chase. For all we know, Remus may spend his time dreaming of the nights when he can run free... and hunt..."

"Oh no. No. Not Remus," Peter's high voice rose from a whisper as his friends gazed at him in surprise, "I mean, well, you must be right James, he does turn into a... a... monster... but usually he is... nice. Remember how he always helps me in potions? And how he covered up for you guys after the, uh, bathroom incident? He is nice. Our friend."

They all stared at each other for a while. Then, suddenly, James winced and struck the table with his fist.

"Our friend. Some friend. He's been lying to us, month after month. He should have said."

"Well.... I'm not exactly surprised. Are you? I can just see it now. That first night in the Tower," Sirius put on an enormous, mock-nostalgic smile, "Talking the night away. And as we drift off, Remus whispering. 'Oh, by the way, if you feel someone biting you, that'll be me!' Or later. Like the night James won his first Quidditch match and we stole all that food from the kitchens. And he left, claiming to be ill from all that cake. What if he'd sat us down and said 'My friends, the real reason that I'm ill is I that you didn't steal enough steak for a werewolf like me', what would you have done?"

James sighed, giving in.

"Fine. No, Sirius, I still don't think it's all 'totally cool', but... we should talk to him. Hear his side of the story, at least."



"Talk to whom?"

It was typical. Remus would say "whom." He had come in in his, equally typical, quiet way, and was now looking at them with that familiar quizzical smile. But then his eyes fell on the still-open book.

"Ah..."

His expression did not change. His eyes on his friends, he stood still as if enchanted. Only his bundle of books moved slightly as his grip on them tightened. He was paler than parchment, but then that, too, was typical.

"I'll be going upstairs, then. To study."

The smile flickered to apologetic and then died as he turned and walked calmly up the stairs. As he vanished from view, they could hear him speed up.



A couple of heartbeats, and then James was on his feet, racing for the staircase. "No, Remus! Wait! What are you doing? Come back!" he shouted, leaping up the steps with ease.

Sirius jumped up behind him, but then spun back, almost knocking Peter over. "The evidence!" he explained, swooping up the offending volume. He took a moment to growl at the hairy monster in farewell, and then slammed the book shut and followed his friends up the tower.



The tableau that greeted him as he swung the door open was quite dramatic, if silent. Peter was cowering beside the entrance. James was sputtering and gesticulating madly, while Remus, on his knees, fiddled with something under his bed. A suitcase, in fact.

James turned to Sirius. He seemed to rediscover his voice. "Look! He's out of his mind. He... he wants to leave. Or even transfer to Ravenclaw!"

"I don't really want to," Remus said quietly, bending over his suitcase, "I just think it might be best. Of course," he looked back up, his voice shaking ever so slightly, "it can't work if... I'd like to ask you three to keep this to yourselves..."

"See? He's being all stiff again!" James interrupted the careful monologue. "Remus, please, just... cut it out!"

Remus lifted his eyes from his suitcase and turned his carefully neutral gaze towards James. "I do realize that I have no right to ask this of you..." he resumed.

James clenched his fists in frustration. "You say something, guys!" he pleaded, clearly out of ideas.

"All right then, I will," Sirius smiled, "AAAAAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AAAAA..."

His second howl was cut short, and the book went spinning from his hands, as James knocked him down, fists swinging.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP, you LITTLE BASTARD! HOW CAN YOU?" he shouted in between punches. Until he felt his hands grabbed from behind as Remus started to pull him off.

"Stop it, please, stop it. Why are you... what's going on?" Remus gasped out. He seemed to have lost his battle to remain calm at last; his breath was coming in huge gulps, and the shocked, confused expression on his face made him look suddenly young. His age.

"I was trying... to talk... to you," James panted with a dark look at Sirius, "tell you... it's OK..."

"He was doing such a terrible job," Sirius explained, feeling his bruises with a grimace, "so I thought I'd show you that _I_ for one would rather join you than banish you to tedious old Ravenclaw. Thought you'd laugh," he added slightly petulantly.

Remus did giggle slightly, nervously. "But... it's not OK, I know it isn't. You're trying to... I can't put you through this. You don't really want... Look, Peter is shivering." His eyes were darting from one friend to another, pleading with them. Whether to agree with him, or to contradict, it was impossible to say.

"You know Peter, he's always scared when people fight," said Sirius with a glance at Peter's corner.

"Yes, you know me," Peter mumbled, "I'm not good with... bravery."

"And it IS cold in here," James announced, taking charge again, "let's close the windows and sit down properly. And explain to Remus that he's stuck with us as friends."

Sirius sprang up, forgetting his bruises. He sat down on his bed and patted the spot beside him. "Yes, Remus, come sit here with your friend. I won't BITE."

"Sirius!" James turned towards him warningly.

"Wouldn't be so sure about James, though," Sirius muttered to himself.



Soon they were sitting round in familiar places, with Sirius attempting to pass round slightly squashed cupcakes he'd "found somewhere." Remus was calm again, but pensive. His eyes were shining. "I think... I think I believe you," he began. And, then, even before Sirius could say "gee, thanks", he continued, "You are the greatest friends I could have hoped for. I know that. I knew that. And I apologize for ever doubting you. And for all the... lying."

"Ah yes, the lying," Sirius interrupted, not wanting to give Remus a chance to burst into tears, "the lying which provided us with hours of fun and amusement. We had some great theories."

James stopped him with a gesture. "Before we tell you all about it, we have to convince you that we accept your apology. In full. Right guys?" he asked, looking around.

"Right, James," Peter said seriously, "we do understand, Remus."

"Of course we accept it. Goes without saying", said Sirius, throwing a well-aimed cupcake at James' head. "As for understanding, however, I think I'd like to understand some things better: what's it like? Do you really get claws? And big pointy teeth?" he asked, gazing at Remus' mouth speculatively.

"Yes... yes... well, not all the time, once a month," Remus was clearly not entirely pleased with the turn in the conversation, "I guess that's how you noticed? You saw the pattern?"

"Well, at first all we knew was that you kept getting sick," James explained, "All the time. For no reason. So, we decided that someone was poisoning you."

"I thought it was Snape. That's why I put the poisonous spiders in his Potions cupboard," Sirius stated quite proudly, "I was trying to scare him off. I should have known he'd like spiders, though."

"Then you told me your mother was sick," added Peter, "and we believed you."

"Well, they did, anyway. I thought you were some kind of secret agent."

"But then we met your mother over the holidays."

"She didn't seem very sickly."

"Well, of course, we now know that you are the sickle-y one. Get it?"

"Shut up, Sirius."

"All right! Anyway, we decided you couldn't be an agent, because you're not half sneaky enough."

"Then you had all those relatives' funerals"

"And Peter decided that your family was cursed."

"And Sirius, he said your family had been cursed by evil demons from another dimension."

"That's why Peter wouldn't stand next to you at that Quidditch match."

"But then last month I figured out how to predict your absences. Thanks, by the way: I bought my broom with money I'd made off the bets."

"And James figured out how he was doing it."

"And we saw Julia reading that comic-book, "The werewolf strikes at midnight..."



Remus smiled a little as he listened to his friends. Sitting there, following a lively conversation, felt so very familiar. He was starting to believe that the happiest days of his life weren't quite over yet.

"I can tell you all about it", he said after they were done, "if you want to hear it, that is."

"What _I_ want to hear," Sirius announced, "is you howling."

"Pardon?"

"Well, you must be naturally good at it."

"I'd rather not, Sirius."

"Oh, come on, teach me how to howl."

"No," Remus said quite firmly, "From what I've heard, you're doing quite well by yourself."



Of course, three years later, Sirius did get the lesson he wanted.