Rating:
G
House:
Riddikulus
Genres:
Humor Romance
Era:
Multiple Eras
Stats:
Published: 09/13/2005
Updated: 09/13/2005
Words: 988
Chapters: 1
Hits: 5,358

Swapping Spit (Kissing) with Hermione

M.S.Webster

Story Summary:
Hermione finds Ron's notes on what kissing her is like.

Posted:
09/13/2005
Hits:
3,693
Author's Note:
This fic is dedicated to the always beautiful Emma Watson. Swapping Spit with her would be a truly wonderful experience.


Swapping Spit (Kissing) with Hermione.

Once upon a time in the Gryffindor Common Room, the lovely Hermione Granger saw Ronald Weasley's notebook sticking out of his school bag. Now anyone familiar with Hogwarts and Harry Potter knows that Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger are in love with each other, though the way they argued at times would make one wonder. Now Ron and Harry were out flying on their brooms, so Ron would not be back for sometime. This would give Hermione a lot of time to sneek a peek into the private thoughts of her red headed Tarzan, a muggle fictional character.

She turned the pages slowly and to her dismay found nothing that would make her heart pitter patter with excitement. However, Hermione was as tenacious as a terrier to make discoveries and she knew Ron wouldn't let her down. If he did not produce something of interest in the remaining pages, then this might be a basis for an argument.

She then turned to the next page. She brought her hand to her mouth. The heading at the top of the page read, Kissing Hermione by Ron Weasley. With great excitement she read further. He wrote that he loved "Swapping Spit" with Hermione. She was a little amateur, but he wanted to suck her face no matter how much experience she had. Secretly he was glad that she didn't know how to lip-lock because if she did he would be jealous as to whom else might have tickled her palate.

Hermione gasped, wondering where he was getting these descriptions of kissing. "Swapping spit? Oh honestly, he made kissing sound like germ warfare."

She read on.

He wrote that he had saw his mum and dad tongue twist one time and even though he watched these two members of the "Over The Hill Gang" moo moo kissey he admitted it looked enjoyable. He couldn't wait to try this mouth to mouth stuff with Hermione. He just hoped that when the time came to launch his lips, Hermione wouldn't spoil it by eating onions or something worse. He figured breathing played a part in the snog.

"Ooh the nerve! As if I eat onions or worse anyway. Ooh that red haired lip loser." Hermione was seething.

She read on.

He wrote that he would carry mints at all times and then would give her one before the main event. He would tell her it was new candy that he wanted her to try. She is smart, but with this approach she wouldn't figure out his battle plan for her full, ruby red, love smackers. He also thought about using his tongue, but she might bite it. No, he wrote, he would teach her the finer arts of lip loving as time goes on. He then wrote that for once he could do something better than her.

"As if!" Hermione was smoldering.

Then an idea formed in her mind. When they saw each other in a while, she would pucker up making this "Expert," think she wanted to press lips with him. She would then touch this great teacher's lips with her wand and make his lips weigh 40 pounds each. The weight of his lusty red logs would pull his face to the floor. She might even step on his tongue for good measure.

She then laughed when she thought of how she would leave them that way for a few days. She giggled at the thought of what he would sound like when he would try and talk. Harryba doba somethingba toba helpba meba. She really laughed when she saw in her mind Ron putting his 40 pounders on a cart and having to use it to get around the school. The cart would keep his lips and face from hitting the floor. Then she sneered as she thought about how she would take his big lips and pull them back over his head.

"Amateur Indeed!"

She read on.

He would kiss her so much that her lustful, lucious lips would take on a leather texture.

"Oh great! Now I have leather lips."

He wrote that when he got together with his mates, he would tell them of his kissing prowess and that he would forever be known as "The Warrior Wizard with a Macho Mouth." Hermione almost choked.

"Warrior Wizard. Macho Mouth. Ooh that Ronald Weasley. I suppose I will be the Pucker Princess!"

She wasn't sure if she wanted to read anymore of Ron's masterpiece on the art of kissing. However, she was glad she did. A tear formed in her eye as she read that Ron was so happy that his Mione came into his life. That she was the best thing too ever happen to him. She changed his life for the better and that he wanted to use all of his strength and being to make her happy every day of her life. He continued to write that kissing her was the most pleasureable experience he had ever known, even playing Quidditch didn't match the excitement he felt when he was holding her close to him. He wrote that he would do his best to never let her down, and that he was determined to stand by her forever. He squiggled I love you Hermione Granger, thank you for coming into my life. At that point he signed it.

The tears were flowing from Hermione's eyes until she read the P.S. Which said, Hermione, after you read this, would you please put my notebook back in my bag, I need it for my classes.

"OOOH! RONALD WEASLEY!"

She put it back. Later when Ron came through the Gryffindor passage, Hermione walked up to him, put her arms around his neck, and told him she wanted to "Swap Spit" with him. She smiled as ther lips moved into position. Behind her on a table were Bertie Bott's extra powerful Onion flavored Beans.