961 - 980 of 3,602 Stories

Viktor's on "furlough" from the Order; he and Hermione engage in a bit of the old nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Or at least, they try to. Problem is, Harry and Ron are particularly dense about reading between the lines and figuring out what all the nudging and winking mean. Viktor and Hermione are simply trying to catch some time alone, and frankly, subtlety is getting them nowhere. But the two of them are nothing if not clever and resourceful! Featuring a very knowing Neville, a slightly strangled Ginny, an extremely naive Harry and Ron, and a very randy (but still very levelheaded) Viktor and Hermione. Rated R for severe comic naughtiness and wicked innuendo. We all knew there was something missing from the Hogwarts curriculum.

Just how did Viktor Krum ask Hermione to the Yule Ball? This fic explains everything, and find out exactly why it was a huge mistake.

Obviously, plot bunnies exist. But how much do you know about them? This ficlet attempts to explore the natural history of plot bunnies and how they have affected literature.

Written in response to the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in 10 Pages or Less challenge!

What really happened in HBP. Lots of DracoObsessed!Harry, MarySue!Ginny and Dumbledore's bling bling.

It's Bill and Fleur's wedding day, and the Burrow is in a state of chaos. The groom is unconscious, Ron's wearing a du-rag, Harry and Ginny are in a dark room with the door closed, and Fred and George are doing a bit of ill-timed market research. Also, we finally get the answer to that age-old question: is Professor Lupin in the closet? Who's catatonic? Who's bald? And what possesses Molly Weasley to do something socially unacceptable (the same infraction for which she's forever scolding her children)? Written for "A Very Random Comedy Challenge" on FAP, posted by Write Away the Pain.

Suddenly notice that you have a werewolf in the house? Who ya gonna call?

War is coming to Hogwarts, and Harry dreads facing his recent ex in battle. Terror of Voldemort’s new right-hand man is everywhere, but Harry’s coping skills in particular could use some work. Featuring evil!Draco, snarky!Ron, clueless!Harry, drunk!Sirius, and Hermione standing around looking knowledgeable. Draco wears leather, but possibly not the garment you suspect. H/D slash, Firenze/Trelawney ;)

Give two teenage boys some broomsticks and a jar of oil and you have a ficlet on your hands. Beware a silliness epidemic. H/D slash.

Confused Muggles at Hogwarts, young wizards waiting to get their ``letters…the magical world as we know it is in jeopardy when Hogwarts’ magical ``quill goes defective and takes note of all the wrong children born in Great Britain. ``Meanwhile, 11-year old Harry Potter's dull and depressing life continues at Stonewall ``High, where he encounters an oozing, undistinguishable mass of gray-uniformed ``students, trigonometry, and the snobbish girls of the neighboring Maris Academy ``for Girls, not to mention 11-year-old Hermione Granger.....Will they receive their ``letters and discover their magical destinies before Lord Voldemort snatches the ``Philosopher’s Stone ? Dunno, I haven’t written that much yet.

Harry's a drunkard whose once-popular wizard television series, "The Potter Hour," is being cancelled due to poor ratings. What's a messed-up guy to do?

Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are getting married. Yes, married. Unfortunately, last minute cancellations land them in the hands of Father Zacharias Smith, jaded and cynical with a dose of priesthood. Enter Blaise Zabini, an angry and vengeful ex-boyfriend, Matrimony Mueller, a shallow flower girl, Hermione Granger, overworked and underpaid Ministry secretary, Justin Finch-Fletchley, rabid Witch Weekly Fashion Guru and reporter and Severus Snape, oily godfather. ````Wedding, what wedding?

This is the story of James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter's first week of Hogwarts. How did they meet? How did they become friends? Who was the first one to get detention? Why wasn't Frank a Marauder? All these questions and more answered in this tale of arrogant but nervous, funny and witty eleven-year-olds. Also includes throwing candy, detention in the trophy room, a Sorting Hat song, and a bet about McGonagall.

One day the Dream Team are at Ron's house bored out of their minds. When Hermione comes up with an idea to read a book called The Hobbit, the three of them discover how a book written by a Muggle author can entertain them and do more...much more.

Molly Weasley takes Ron and Ginny to St. Mungo’s to be inoculated, and all hell breaks loose.

What happens when a fed-up house elf decides to teach Draco a lesson? Draco and Ron find out what it's like to be each other, that's what! A ferocious lawn gnome and much more.

Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy and Seamus Finnegan are taken captive by Darth Vader. Meet Darth Vader, Stormtroopers, lightsabers and Luke Skywalker.

When Remus Lupin bets Sirius Black that he can have fun with girls without snogging them, Sirius is sceptical. Who'll win the bet?

What happens when a Boggart turns into your deepest desire, instead of your deepest fear? Snape is about to find out.

It's been seventy years since our favorite trio were students at Hogwarts! Come and look in on them now, at HAPPY WIZARDS! Featuring Harry, Hermione, Ron and Ginny as well as two of the strangest (and disturbing) SHIPs I've ever thought of!

A completely pointless sequel to the Hospital Wing and the Astronomy Tower and its sequel. This here sequel is about underpants and house elves. Oh, and Blaise and Ron and Lord Lucius and Terry Boot and Sirius and Ginny and Draco and Harry(?) and Hermione and her stupid campains and I think we'll throw in Neville's granny too and... well, it's a sequel! It's full of all that sequelly goodness, so if you read the first two, you might want to read this one... (and it makes less sense than the sequel prior to this!)

Voldemort manages to get into Hogwarts one evening, and finds Harry alone. But just because they want to kill each other, that's no reason to be uncivilised... Mild spoiler for HBP.

A cross between 'Merry Christmas (I Don't Wanna Fight Tonight)' by The Ramones, and 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus'. A married Draco and Ginny have a little argument on Christmas Eve over Draco dressing up as Santa to surprise their daughter.

Halloween, Christmas, New Year's, Easter, and, especially, April Fool's Day, MWPP always have something planned...

Hermione’s year is off to a rough start. Her two best friends have hormonal overload, harassment from Draco has reached a new level, and then there are those recurring nightmares featuring a black-haired boy named Potter... and it’s NOT Harry.

A new danger threatens Harry. Is it Voldemort? Dementors? Dragons? Death Eaters? No! It is the horror that is Mary-sue! Will Harry survive this new threat?

Hey! I did it in just 10 minutes, I hope you like it! Its about Harry pissed off because his friends forgot something... read it!!! I need a fanart artist... there's more information at the end of the page. It's in honour for 2002's day!!!

This is the diary of Severus Snape. Proceed with extreme caution. By the way, I got the idea from Cassandra Claire's Very Secret Diaries of The Lord of The Rings.

Harry and Ron get stoned... and naked.

A personal interpretation of what would happen if Hermione and Draco walked down the aisle and off the plank. Swearing, a fed-up psychiatrist, ``and the love-child of this union ensue!! Based off of a scene from "The Ref."

In an unfortunate bout of Hogwarts school teachers suddenly smoking Wizarding Weed, pupils have now been forced to wear... woolly knickers and lacy black see-through halter tops? Hermione has a mad fetish for abs and Ron has a crush on Josh Hartnett and Orlando Bloom. Weird enough for you already? Slightly OOC, H/Hr, Hr/R, and Hr/every guy in the school.

Written for Headgirl's Truth or Dare Challenge. On a lazy Boxing Day afternoon at Grimmauld Place, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Sirius and Remus engage in a rather chaotic game of Truth or Dare.

"Tell me, my Lord, have you some ridiculously elaborate plan to slowly capture the boy, while leaving enough clues around for someone to become suspicious?" A parody of Harry Potter fics.

It's been five years now since Harry and his friends have graduated, which means it's been four for Luna and Ginny. Hermione, Ginny, and Luna get together once a month for lunch. All three are married now, but only two of them have children. Why doesn't Hermione? And what is the big favor she has to ask Luna? Who is going to pay the check will be the least of their concerns after this one. Oh, and I didn't put Hermione and Harry together in this one. Yes, I was as surprised as you are.

Tom's diary appears in Ginny's trunk yet again. Finally he's back! Ginny missed him a 'really lot,' and is eager to prove to everybody how smart and brave she is by finally freeing poor Tom from that awful diary... (Warning: Stupid!Ginny)

Harry's failing all of his classes! In order to be allowed to play Quidditch again, he needs to have a passing grade, and there's only one class where he may be able to pull it off--BAND! Find out all about Hogwart's best-kept secret (and for good reason).

D/H. Short but, well, I don't know about sweet - Harry's having fights with the little people in his head and Draco's hanging upside down! For enjoyment purposes only!

They say love is blind, but what they don't mention is that it's crazy, too. Cho Chang's love life isn't exactly perfect. In fact, it's insane! So many break-ups have landed her in the nut house!

Godric Gryffindor loves Helga Hufflepuff. Helga Hufflepuff loves Salazar Slytherin. Salazar Slytherin loves … well, Rowena Ravenclaw knows, and she’s just waiting for the fun to start! A parody of the classic musical comedy “Annie.”

The first in a coming series...``What do the wizards talk about in their breaks?``Sit with Arthur Weasley and read the truth... ``Starring: Coffee, Coffee, and more Coffee!

Dr. Seuss meets Harry Potter. ``Talking of hate – there’s the Potter boy, Harry: Obstinate, full of himself, and contrary. “Harry, our hero,” they whimper and boast – the kid’s as appealing as toe jam on toast.

Snape likes Lily, Lily likes James, James likes Sirius, no wait! That's not what this fic is about, greasiness and randomness....

Author loves wolves. Author disapproves of the way 'Little red riding hood' goes. Author rewrites the story. Author can't think of a good summary. Author hopes people like the story. Author should stop referring to herself as 'author'.````Starring (in order of appearance): Ginny Weasley, Molly Weasley, innocent flowers, Remus Lupin, defenseless bugs, a tall, dark stranger, Minerva McGonagall, another tall, dark stranger, Tom Riddle.

All witches and wizards display pre-training talent in the magical field. Harry made strange things happen all the time - finding himself on the school roof, setting the snake loose.... Even wizards who have grown up in the wizarding world experience such happenstances. Grab your helmets, ladies and gentlemen, because here come the Weasley twins!

Hermione has 6 people dying to go out with her. What's a girl to do?

The most dreadfully horrendous tragedy that could have ever happen, ``can Harry survive it? Worse yet, can he keep himself from going sane? It all starts ``one morning with a twist of fate. It's even worse then if he met Pikachu or Barney!

A Harry Potter alternate universe moment. Why the Sorting Hat doesn't - and shouldn't - have a sense of humor.

A horrible suspicion has been growing in Narcissa Malfoy's mind. The solution: stalk her husband Lucius.

Harry and Ron get bored one afternoon. They decide to make something up about the beginning of the world and how things were invented with Fred and George. Together they tell Hermione. Find out what happens next!

Ron is trying to sleep when he hears a little noise...

Crabbe and Goyle stumble into Snape's office, dragging Draco. The git has tried to Obliviate himself, in an attempt to forget something unspeakably horrible. But the charm hasn't worked as he intended. And Crabbe and Goyle are acting odd...

Voldemort is dead. But there's one person left on whom Harry wants revenge. And he gets it... in hearts.

Follow James Potter through his years at Hogwarts, the friends, the girls, the laughter and the heartache. But as a first year, mostly just the laughter. Remus Lupin in a dress? It just doesn't get any better.

A House, M.D. crossover. Dr. Greg House's latest patient has some interesting symptoms – one being that he thinks he's a wizard.

Recovering from the events of Goblet of Fire, Ron and Harry are at Hermione's house. In a last-ditch effort to cheer everybody up, Hermione logs on to none other than FICTION ALLEY ITSELF!!! In a few minutes, the whole lot is laughing over a humourous romance! (note: implied H/Hr)

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter are looking for some one to become their fifth marauder. Most unexpectedly, Severus Snape, shows up and decided to ask for a place in their Marauder group. All Severus wanted to do was to find out what the Marauders were up to; always sneaking out of beds when there is a full moon... but most unfortunately for him, there had to be a test. The obstacles that the Marauders were setting for him is ridiculous. They gave him points that were either three or lower. He really can't survive this nightmare!

Sirius Black offers to watch his young cousin, Nymphadora Tonks, one afternoon, not realizing that he's bit off more than he can chew.

It all begins one beautiful morning when Harry and Ron, feeling merry, decide to go for a splash in the lake. They get more adventure than they bargained for, including a rather unpleasant meeting with the giant squid, and a rescue plan involving Dumbledore and their fellow Gryffindors...

Lupin is having a terribly awful time getting his work done while Sirius keeps staring at him.

An add-on to the Translation Series. Ron never read "Translating Mad things Girls Do so Guys can Understand Them" by Hermione Granger, but that doesn't mean you can't. Read Hermione's full guide: complete with input from Ginny Weasley and an afterword by Molly Weasley. A bit of a missing moment from OotP.

When Snape makes the students of Hogwarts test one of their potions, the results prove interesting... and, according to Harry, frightening.

A little peek into what the youngest Weasley is thinking of (and trying to work up the nerve to do) in the last few weeks before her fourth year at Hogwarts. A funny, cute and fluffy prologue to a H/G (and R/H!) fifth-year fic from Ginny's point of view.

So, the Author loses control of the story. Not a good thing to happen. You'll find out.

Severus Snape confesses he is a Death Eater to Dumbledore. A parody :)

Arthur Weasley may like Muggle artifacts, but he's never had to shop like one before! A silly one-shot featuring Shopping!Arthur and Super Absorbent!Tampons.

The Lupins, parents of six kids with wildly different skills and personalities, are in for the hardest night of their life when their kids go on a rampage and nearly claim their lives a hundred times!

Ask the DADA Teachers is an advice column. But it's a special advice column. They answer advice from people in Hogwarts! In this very out-of-character fic, you the reader can send in your own made-up stupid, goofy and wrong problems. The sky is the limit.

Oh my goodness! Hermione's a poor Cinderella! Lord Voldemort as a fairy? Hagrid's pumpkins? Harry's a prince?! And what is wrong with Harry's hair?! Find out in this exciting production at Hogwarts! What happens when wizards try to put on a Muggle play?

A hilarious story in which Harry Potter tries to hire a private detective, Spade Marlowe, to find his missing author, J.K. Rowling. The detective sits Harry down and gives him the facts of life about authors and the work they ``do, and about being a famous literary character. Written in the best traditions of Raymond Chandler and Dashiell Hammett, this fanfic is intended for those bellyaching fans who keep complaining that Ms. Rowling hasn't yet finished book five.

There is a little incident in potions class one day...involving our favorite potions teacher, poor Neville Longbottom, a nap and a -er- fly...

In 1959, teenagers Arthur and Molly catch the train to Hogwarts and discuss the permission slips they got at the end of last term. Not exactly a prequel to The Permission Slip, just part of a loose series of connected fanfics.

Severus proves his love for Hermione by going to meet her father. What happens when Severus gets his first check up?

After leading myself into a trap, I was thrown back into the 1940s. Perhaps it was a twist of fate? Yeah, more like 'twisted fate.' (As told by Hermione Granger.)

What's this 'MySpace' Dudley keeps blabbering on about? Harry, being his usual too-curious-for-his-own-good self investigates one day while the Dursleys are out.

Harry Potter meets Buffy the Vampire Slayer to fill up an otherwise plotless story. It has everything any fan of either storyline would want (according to me anyway).

The House-Elf Liberation Front strikes back...

When a mysterious magical accident turns Harry's mind back``to that of a three year old — and an awfully thick three year old at that``— it's up to Ron and Hermione to turn him back to normal. But the infamous``defence against the Dark Arts jinx is against them. Contains some harsh language.``H/Hr.

Draco has gone insane. Tricks have been unleashed all week. Ron thinks it's hilarious, Harry wonders whats gotten into him, and Hermione is appalled. What's gotten into Draco?

"There are some strange things going on at the moment - I don’t know if you’ve noticed. There seems to be a total Parental Chat epidemic going around. Really, there must be something particular in this year’s summer heat." - Harry, Luna, Hermione, Ginny and Draco are all subjected to a dreaded Parental Chat.

Missing scenes from OotP: Why did Ron go all funny, really? Was it something we missed...Or was something, in fact, missing? And did anyone else suffer a similar fate? ``This tale takes place just after the Department of Mysteries battle, and is rated PG-13 for mild language and a healthy breeze 'round a couple of pairs of privates.

Padfoot -- er, sorry, Sirius -- writes a Practice NEWT essay for McGonagall's Transfiguration class. Of course, it's all just hypothetical: He's not an Animagus, he's not the one who's been doing all sorts of naughty things, and, of course, he doesn't have to resort to blackmail in order to pass the course. (Yeah. Right.) *Winner of FA's Back to School/Witching Hour Challenge!*

At a wild Quidditch party, Lily unwinds with Remus at her side, having bad consequences for not only the two, but James' heart. Rated PG-13 for sexual references.

Severus Snape is the new headmaster of Hogwarts, and his first duty is not to kill the new deputy headmaster. Harry/Snape slash.

We all know the Marauders. Remus, Peter, Sirius, and James. What we don't know is how they became Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. Follow four boys through their first year at Hogwarts where we will see the foundation set for that infamous group of tricksters, as well as a few friends...

Latest issue of Snape/McGonagall bickering! Neville Longbottom is rewardingly caught between exploding cauldrons and everybody's favourite rivalling teachers trying to Make A Point. *Complete*

Oh, dear. It seems as though Dolores Umbridge has made public her prejudices against part-humans and half-breeds. A newly-married couple has been given a nasty shock thanks to a front-page Daily Prophet headline, there's backlash at the Ministry, and -- hmm -- some of this sounds like Real Life.

A twisted saga of four year olds, Dursley family problems, and a dead frog.

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Draco, Lupin and Sirius sit down after the war and discuss some amusing philosophical thoughts.

Lily and James go out for the night, and Sirius comes over to baby-sit little one-year-old Harry!

How Godric Gryffindor got his first dragon egg.

What should three first-year students fear the most? A short Snape story. :)

Guess who's having a Wandpoint Wedding? Due to faulty Contraceptive Potion, someone finds herself knocked up, and her significant other wants to "make an honest woman out of her." Unfortunately, there are several major obstacles between them and the altar. Two-days-earlier prequel to "Wardens of Wizardkind."

These are the secret diaries of some of our favorite Goblet of Fire characters, recounting their time at Hogwarts up until the First Task. It is a slight parody of GOF and Bridget Jones.

Fleur goes to Hogwarts for her final year of magical schooling to pursue her love for Harry, only to find out that he already loves Cho. On a jealous spying search to find out some dirty information about Cho, Fleur finds out more than she bargained for. Only Ron seems to believe her. Read on to find out more...

He let his eyes fall shut and said a silent prayer that when he woke up Malfoy would be dead like he was supposed to be, or at least sane and embarrassing shrieks would not have happened and maybe the room wouldn't spin quite so much.

George needs help from the brightest witch in her year. How far is he willing to go for some assistance?

A simple, plotless little fic in the Seinfeldian style, featuring Harry, Luna, Ron and Hermione trying their hand at a famous Muggle pastime...

The Death Eaters have to decide what to get Voldemort for Christmas. Things happen. **Winner of the 2007 Phoenix Rising 'Mistletoe and Mayhem' Challenge!**

Draco's about to find out what his animagus form is.

If you think you've got what it takes you work for the self-proclaimed evilest Dark Wizard in the history, read this story and think twice. It will serve as a guideline for all you need to know if you want to be a Death Eater (there is a quiz that you can do and it'll tell you!!).