Oh, the Glory of Pants...

"Hermione!"

Hermione groaned. She was just trying to read her blasted book in peace! Why could no one understand this! "What, Fred?" she snapped, putting her wand in between the book to mark her page.

He leaned against the doorframe. "Actually, it's George." He cleared his throat and stepped into the room Hermione was sharing with Ginny. "I figure since you're the brightest witch in your year, you can help me with something."

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "No." He sat at the edge of Hermione's trunk and picked up her book. "Don't lose my page," she growled, reaching to snatch the book out of his hands.

He held it just out of her reach. "Now, now, now," he scolded, opening to her page and taking out her wand. "Help me, or I'll do it." He held the book out in a threatening way.

Hermione knew he was serious. "George, you aren't funny." He arched a brow as if to say, 'try me'. "George, give me my wand and put the book down."

"Help me, and we can make negotiations." Hermione lunged at the book. George leaned back, taking the book with him. "Now, now, now."

"George, I am at my wits end with you!" She stood up and stomped her foot rather childishly.

"Wow," he remarked, grinning a very annoying grin at her. "You really do sound like Mum!"

Hermione snatched the book, becoming very upset when George wouldn't let go. "George. Let. Go."

He did, and the book flew up in the air, landing on the carpeted floor with a muffled thud. Hermione watched, horrified. She slowly rose her head and glared at him. He laughed nervously, becoming uncomfortable under her stare. "Will you help me now?" he asked sheepishly. She crossed her arms and her stare became more intense. "It didn't have to end this way, you know," he told her, rising and backing towards the door.

Hermione, like a flash of lightening, bolted around him, shutting and locking it. "Give me my wand," she ordered, leaning against the door.

"You want your wand?" George asked. His face lit up in an unmistakably mischievous grin. "Do you really want your wand?"

She crossed her arms and glared at him. "Yes," she gritted.

The glare slipped off her face and her eyes widened as George undid his belt. He unbuttoned his pants and slipped her wand in his pants. He grinned devilishly at her. "Come and get it."

Hermione was horrified. "George, I am not putting my hand anywhere near your pants!"

George crossed his arms, his smile getting wider. "Oh, come off it! What's life without a little fun?" He winked at her. "Take a walk on the wild side." Hermione shook her head viciously. "You're no fun. I guess you're just going to be wandles--"

Hermione practically threw herself at him. She punched him in the arm, hard. "Give it back!" she hissed.

George rubbed his arm gingerly. "You can sure hit for such a little thing." She pulled her arm back to hit him again, and he flinched. "Don't hit me," he whined.

"Give. It. Back."

He smiled shyly at her. "Aww, come on 'Mione. Be fun!"

Hermione was boiling. "Fine," she huffed, stepping close to him. She swallowed hard and glanced at his pants. "You will tell no one of this. No. One."

He nodded and Hermione bit her lower lip. I cannot believe I am doing this! Slowly and carefully, she slipped her hand into his pants. I am a horrible, horrible person. She grabbed her wand and smiled triumphantly. "Ha."

George coughed. "Erm, Hermione. I don't know how to say this, but uh, that's not your wand."

"Oh." Hermione let go, but before she could get her hand out of his pants, the door flew open.

"Why was the door locked-- oh." Fred stood there in the doorway, his mouth wide open. "Woah, George! I thought you wanted to get in her pants!"

"Get. Out." Hermione hissed. Her eyes were narrowed and her bushy hair seemed to take on a life of it's own. "Fred, if you want to stay a man, you will leave."

Fred took the hint and left, closing the door softly behind him.

Hermione took her hand out of George's pants. "Please," she asked softly, not looking him in the eyes. "Just hand me my wand."

George took it out of his pants. "Here." He started towards the door. "Now will you help me?" He quickly ducked the book that came flying at his head. "I'll take that as a no..." George opened the door and stepped out, not bothering to hide the huge smile on his face. "See you at dinner." He winked.

Hermione flopped on her bed and groaned. "Oh, help me, Merlin," she muttered into her pillow. When she heard the door close, she looked up from her pillow.

Certain that no one was around, she buried her head in her pillow and laughed.