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What's it like, being Viktor Krum? You're the youngest Seeker ever to compete in the World Cup, you're entering your last year of school, and you're likely to be chosen as Durmstrang Champion. Idolized and adored by fanboys and fangirls everywhere, you've got it all, right? Wrong. All poor Viktor wants is to keep his head down, do his job, be left alone, and maybe, just maybe, to suck up the courage to talk to that bookish, bushy-haired girl that he keeps seeing in the library. But you see, there's the problem of these giggling girls and the fan mail they keep sending him... Taking a wonderful plot bunny from the L.O.F.F Guild and inspiration from The Trouble With Tribbles. One shot by the author of Past Present on Astronomy Tower.

Words: 10,884
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,829

It's the seventh and final year for Hogwarts' favorite marauders - Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and James Potter. Peter seems to be hiding more than one would know, and the power of the dark rises. Although evil leaks into every corner of the haunted castle, dungbombs and exploding lizards line the halls, showering the students with fun, hope, dung, and lizards. Detentions, pranks, and friendship galore!

Words: 16,861
Chapters: 4
Hits: 2,828

Luna Lovegood tries to play cupid on Valentine's Day but ends up getting the tables turned...

Words: 3,319
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,821

Four mini-fics! Each a parody of the proposed "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix."

Words: 5,940
Chapters: 5
Hits: 2,819

Nymphadora Tonks gets talked into teaching night school. Little does she know that her students will include an Eastern European refugee who apparently wants a sex change, Neville Longbottom's formidable grandmother, and Grawp. And just when things are settling down, Ron gets viciously attacked by a wereflamingo, a.k.a. Severus Snape.

Words: 2,654
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,814
The Bachelor/et by Alia
02/24/2004

Children and adults alike are being paired up in the world of Fan fiction. But who has to most choices? Is it Draco? Is it Harry? Find out this and more!

Words: 2,283
Chapters: 3
Hits: 2,814

James visits Sirius and his slightly mad family over his sixth year Christmas holiday. Panic, terror, and chaos ensue. Lily and Remus are tossed into the jumble and even Peter makes a cameo. Humour, insanity, Quidditch, Lily/James fluff, and quite a few Sirius moments.

Words: 27,287
Chapters: 6
Hits: 2,812

Nothing special here, unless you count the fact that Draco wears a tiara and Harry sings! Oh yeah, and he dies, too! And he comes back, too! And then Draco sings! And you can't forget the aliens! And some other stuff will randomly be thrown in there. You just can't tell with this sorta thing! AHA! Let the insanity begin!

Words: 7,762
Chapters: 7
Hits: 2,811

What happens when all of a sudden dreams start to come true at Hogwarts? Or should I say nightmares...

Words: 5,264
Chapters: 10
Hits: 2,794

Being a Death Eater can be a stressful career at the best of times. And so, Voldemort has produced this helpful guide to instruct novice minions. Includes Death Eater rules, dress code, and anthem. Be alarmed. Be very alarmed.

Words: 1,782
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,788

Lily gets bored during History of Magic, and what ensues is the best prank ever!

Words: 1,413
Chapters: 2
Hits: 2,785

Charlie Weasley's sixth-year Potions class takes a surreal turn when an actual vampire turns up to test the product.

Words: 1,602
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,784

Harry and Hermione are up late at night doing something in an empty classroom. Snape suspects, but he has no idea of what's really going on in there.

Words: 711
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,782

Draco is a pansy sap, Harry and Ron are Dorks, and Hermione Granger is the most popular girl in school. Conclusion: Hogwarts has gone mad.

Words: 3,312
Chapters: 6
Hits: 2,776

This is H/D crack!fic at its worst. Can we say cliché? Yes, yes we can. I tried to get them all.

Words: 5,024
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,774

Hermione gets turned into a Furby by Snape, who is, it seems, having a very bad day. Attempting-to-be amusing phrases strung together by something that fails miserably to be a plot - but it does TRY, bless it.

Words: 6,900
Chapters: 8
Hits: 2,772

A story in the Marauders Era based on ``The Wizard of Oz. Lily Evans finds herself in a most beautiful land, and upon meeting three new friends, they all go to Ebony City to get their deepest desire from The Wizard of Black.

Words: 13,117
Chapters: 6
Hits: 2,767

Salazar and Severus, through an accident, open their own advice column for the public-at-large. But first, they have to correct a few misconceptions about their personalities. Hilarity ensues.

Words: 11,634
Chapters: 7
Hits: 2,762
The Art of Subtext by D.M.P.
08/23/2001

Sequel to "The Art of Mental Shifting." Sirius takes Lupin over to Hogwarts in order to cure his hypnosis condition and certain... assumptions... are made.

Words: 5,381
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,750

Harry Potter and the gang have a wild night on the town in Las Vegas, courtesy of Susan DiMario.

Words: 10,859
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,738
Evil Twins by Megan Drew
01/23/2003

What could possibly be worse than Fred and George Weasley? A feminine ``version of them! Only worse...they're in Harry's year.

Words: 17,681
Chapters: 5
Hits: 2,729

What could be so sick and disgusting that it would make Ron throw up five times in one story? What could make Hermione faint, Snape scream, and everyone else go nuts? Well, it's as simple as this corny, disturbing scenario! It's Severitus with a twist! A sick, sad, strange little twist...

Words: 1,273
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,728

‘I am not pretty,’ he said imperiously, looking down his nose at her. ‘Handsome, yes, devastatingly attractive, certainly. Even beautiful, in a manly sort of way. But not pretty. I am not a chintz.’ Hermione Granger loses something she has been desperately trying to shed for a while.

Words: 3,056
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,726

In a bizarre twist of fate, Harry is replaced by a table! No, actually, he was transported through time and space to the Federation Starship Voyager, where Harry finds himself in a stranger place than Hogwarts. As time goes on, more people come, but will they get home? Much confusion and humor, and we’ll throw in some Quidditch for good measure!

Words: 6,763
Chapters: 3
Hits: 2,721

Ever wondered what would happen if the trio found out about all those cheesy Harry Potter toys?

Words: 1,393
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,716
Roommates by Deanna Jean
11/04/2007

A year out of school, six of Hogwarts sexiest, slashiest boys are shaking up together in an apartment on Diagon Alley. Mostly written for fun, and will probably include crazy adventures. SLASH WARNING. Also, this is so very AU.

Words: 3,116
Chapters: 2
Hits: 2,714
What The... by Qweasley10
11/26/2003

Formerly known as 'Any Ship'll Do'.``This story starts out with R/Hr and travels on to much more quirkier ships.``It makes no sense, hence it's in Ridikulus. Enter at your own risk.

Words: 5,605
Chapters: 6
Hits: 2,707

Harry and Ron are introduced to the wonderful world of fan-fiction. A parody of Harry/Draco fics. If you like Harry/Draco, do NOT read this fic!!!

Words: 1,876
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,695

Sex. An amazing, beautiful thing. Almost every sixth year has lost their virginity. Except the Hufflepuffs. Sad blokes. Harry Potter is also still a virgin. Hence the 'still'. Hermione and Ron have dragged Harry to a club where everyone is going to be there. Harry also... got a new look. This just may be his chance to lose his virginity...

Words: 2,527
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,693

The Author is hired to write a romance starring Fred and George, but when the 'ships get out of control, the boys demand some creative input. “We’ll make you a deal,” Fred started. “You write what you think she’d like... and we’ll only stop you if we get uncomfortable.” -- Famous last words...

Words: 4,822
Chapters: 3
Hits: 2,686

"He was like an idiot savant when it came to mayhem." MWPP go pranking, first kisses happen, and Remus is grumpy.

Words: 5,057
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,684

Lily and James have been engaged for months. They set the date a while ago, but that's all they did. Now, one week before the wedding James is busy with Auror training and Lily and Alice have one week to plan the wedding. This is a sequel to "The Bachelor Party" and the latest of my Potter Family Album fics. Lily has one week to pick out a dress, cake, invitations, write the guest list, and so much more. James and Sirius are living at home while they do their Auror training and Lily lives alone in her apartment. Frank and Alice are newlyweds and Aurors in training as well. Other characters make appearances such as Terry Boot's parents, Nymphadora Tonks, and everyone's favorite Headmaster of Hogwarts.

Words: 23,827
Chapters: 6
Hits: 2,681

Have you ever wondered about a wizard named Uric the Oddball? Locked up by the Ministry, Uric finds a time turner that takes him on a wild ride through time and space. Who will he meet, and how will those meetings change the future of the wizarding world? (This is an AU from my other Uric stories)

Words: 10,745
Chapters: 7
Hits: 2,675

Harry and friends are enjoying a relaxing evening in Gryffindor Tower when all is interrupted by the arrival of a most unexpected visitor.

Words: 1,333
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,667

After a hard night of partying, Sirius Black wakes up naked. And he's not alone.

Words: 1,238
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,664

It's Hermione and Ron's wedding day, but Arthur Weasley and Julia Granger reveal a secret that ruins the big day completely. But they aren't the only ones with a secret that could wreck their lives. One Shot

Words: 1,830
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,660

A *scandalous* scheme by Draco in the middle of the Quidditch game to attract the attention of a "certain someone"...

Words: 3,364
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,660

When Death Eaters attack Harry at home, and a suprise visitor picks him up, things get confusing. Strange new powers, pranks, and a strange order...The Dragon Heart Underground.

Words: 4,094
Chapters: 5
Hits: 2,660
Gadding with Goats by AgiVega
05/11/2003

Albus' brother Aberforth had been practicing improper charms on a goat. Ever wondered what those charms were and what kind of an effect they had on poor Albus' life? Now Albus will personally tell you the tale of Aberforth and the goat... listen carefully!

Words: 15,396
Chapters: 3
Hits: 2,660

MWPP and Lily are spending the summer at Moony's house, but what happens when a copy of GoF is found under a very messy bed and secrets are revealed?

Words: 6,588
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,658
Private Lessons by lelalee83
06/21/2005

Another day in Potions class that ends pleasantly for Harry, but not so well for poor Seamus.

Words: 1,064
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,657

On the night before the NEWTS James and Sirius attend a party given by the Slytherins and the next generation continues the tradition.

Words: 873
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,652

Harry, Ron, and Hermione are almost over with their 5th year, ``and are in Hogsmeade. Harry and Hermione are now dating, and Ron feels slightly ``left out, so he has a conversation with Madam Rosmerta at the Three Broomsticks. ``Some funny stuff, with some romance on the side.

Words: 1,493
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,637
Sex Ed by KaciJaBeth
04/04/2005

After a Slytherin girl turns up pregnant, the staff at Hogwarts decide that all students third-year and above need to be taught Sex Ed. Snape is chosen to teach the Gryffindor and Slytherin boys.

Words: 1,501
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,636

In the summer between their fifth and sixth years at Hogwarts, the Marauders are over James' house. Unfortunately for them, that is no place for a quartet of pranksters to be, as there seems to be nothing to do! That quickly changes, however, when a mysterious book appears. Curious, they begin to read... And chaos naturally ensues!

Words: 12,198
Chapters: 2
Hits: 2,634

With patience, weeks of planning and hours of effort, Ginny transforms Hermione for the Yule Ball.

Words: 3,846
Chapters: 5
Hits: 2,629

Lupin gets married and settles down at 12 Grimmauld Place; Filch has a crush on someone; Harry meets his godmother; Ron is still feeling the side-effects of - er, well, Sirius is - oh, I've said too much already! Anyway, there will be loads of hilarious happenings at Hogwarts in Harry's sixth year!

Words: 8,551
Chapters: 4
Hits: 2,626

Harry Potter is being beaten by the Dursleys; Hermione gets beeee-oootiful; Hogwarts gets a French transfer student from Beauxbatons AND a transfer from Durmstrang AND a transfer from America AND a transfer from Australia AND...; Draco turns over a new leaf; dances galore; and no one can figure out whether Blaise Zabini is a boy or a girl.

Words: 4,849
Chapters: 3
Hits: 2,625

Lucius takes a very young Draco out for a walk. Big mistake... A rather short fic I hope you'll enjoy.

Words: 902
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,612

Some secrets are just better left secret. That's what Ron thinks when he accidentally gets hold of Harry's diary. Short and silly.

Words: 998
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,602

Out of sheer boredom, I began reading HP theories from various sites, and I was amazed at what people were coming up with. Anyway, the next thing I noticed were a bunch of plot bunnies tap dancing on my desk. This is not meant to be read anyone who is sensitive about characters, theories or 'ship. Read, enjoy and review!

Words: 7,667
Chapters: 4
Hits: 2,594

The recorded conversations of the Black family's dinner.

Words: 3,746
Chapters: 6
Hits: 2,593
Ricky Lake by Double Trouble
11/06/2002

The next chapter to the Jerry Springer show: Is Harry really gay? Did he and Draco break up after all? Will Hermione give Harry up that easily?

Words: 4,670
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,592

Blend a cube of Time Machine into a cup of Gred and Forge. The Weasley twins take a journey into the future. Will it be like what they have expected? Enjoy your beverage!

Words: 5,277
Chapters: 4
Hits: 2,586
Seven Days by Arrmaitee
08/16/2004

SLASH! PARODY! Virginal Draco Malfoy watches a mysterious raunchy homemade video, and then receives an owl indicating that he will be “deflowered in seven days,” unless he can first uncover the video’s sordid secrets.

Words: 4,254
Chapters: 4
Hits: 2,583

The real story behind how Gyrffindor joined the other Founders to create Hogwarts.

Words: 633
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,582

An evangelical preacher in Hogsmeade befriends Draco Malfoy: cue smiting, jokes and ever-so-slightly-gratuitous slash parody. You won't read another fic like this :-)

Words: 17,474
Chapters: 11
Hits: 2,577

In the fall of 2000, a small committee of evil creatures decided to discover just how badly they could write when they tried. They ended up writing the most atrocious Mary Sue fic of all time. This is that fic.

Words: 6,717
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,576

A funny, slashy, funny (did we mention funny and slashy?) MWPP fic where James and Lily get it together, Sirius is, um. . . Sirius, there's some strip poker, a few laughs, and a TOTAL surprise ending (we think.)

Words: 2,505
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,571

A delve into the oft-confusing female psyche, complete with Bulleted Lists and Numbered Important Points. For the girls out there, this may help them understand themselves and the people around them. Boys out there should be taking notes!

Words: 5,641
Chapters: 4
Hits: 2,563

No Summary Provided.

Words: 254
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,562

When two fanfic authors' power becomes horribly corrupt, Harry and co. are forced into a twisted, terrifying world in which everyone is... singing! Various characters will be turned into newts, fantastic hit musical sensations, and many end up falling into a large hole in the stage, caused by a tragic accident involving the ballet-dancing Oliver Wood and Hagrid.

Words: 4,667
Chapters: 6
Hits: 2,560

St. Patrick's Day at Hogwarts. Fandom jokes and cliches abound. Oh yeah, and St. Patrick was a parselmouth. (Or was he?) (Okay, he was, I just added that for dramatic effect!) (Or did I?)

Words: 4,936
Chapters: 7
Hits: 2,560

What happens when all the characters in Harry Potter get together to play Truth or Dare? What about lots of laughter? Each chapter is for a different set of people or time period. Includes MWPPL and teachers.

Words: 1,198
Chapters: 2
Hits: 2,556

Harry and Ron are back at it again! They reeeeeeally don't want to be back, because they know what's awaiting them. "VH1 Goes Inside..." is back! Why? 'Cos there are soooo many more couples left to pick on.

Words: 736
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,539

From the original producers of "Slash...aha!" and in conjunction with the Dissendium International Creative Brain-Trust Guild Association Alliance of People, Inc. comes a brazen, new, epic story of love, sabotage, betrayal, revenge, conquest, a little bit more of that love thing and... deli meat? What? As Harry once again puts out, and Draco pushes forward with his new maniacal agenda of health, aromatherapy and animal rights, Hogwarts is seduced under the power of obviously evil and diabolically delicious pepperoni and a very busy and unchafeable redhead.

Words: 53,432
Chapters: 13
Hits: 2,539

After writing the first six chapters of A Change of Plans, P. D. Yerf decided she wanted to write an MST. Yeah, scary, I know. So, anyway, here it is, in all its random, pointless, and completely out of character glory! Includes cameos from Riley Snave (co-author of A Change of Plans) and the Male Voice from the Ron Pompeil infomercials (it slices! it dices!)! Enjoy!

Words: 14,981
Chapters: 5
Hits: 2,534
Commentarius by B.C Daily
11/17/2006

Lily Evans has always considered herself to be a rather ordinary girl. But as she enters her seventh year, things in her life start to change and Lily begins to fear that she is going a bit mad. Suddenly she finds herself Head Girl, with her mates acting strangely, and a new and improved James Potter that she can’t seem to get rid of. Based on the writing style of Meg Cabot’s “The Princess Diaries” series.

Words: 57,136
Chapters: 7
Hits: 2,531

This is my warped idea for a time travel fic! Diaries are meant to be fun, harmless things...they're not for Lily! One day she meets James Potter's (her stalker's) almost indentical twin! And who is to blame? Her diary of course!

Words: 4,338
Chapters: 4
Hits: 2,529

Ron has a brilliant beyond brillant idea! Will he be the only Weasley to shine in his entire family? Will he join the popular Slytherins?

Words: 2,486
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,519

Join the gang in their Seventh Year in a collection of episodes taken at various points of the year, filled with Teen comedy and starring Hopeless!Neville, Loose!Harry, FallDownDrunk!Ron, Nympho!Hermione, Pimp!Dean, Horny!Seamus, DrugDealer!Draco, Slash!Terry Boot, DirtyOldMan!Dumbledore, Dancing!Malcolm Baddock and Sexaholic!Voldermort. The collection of Episodes is inspired by the movies American Pie 1 and 2, as well as hopeless bouts of insomnia. Each time I cannot sleep, I shall add another one… unless people beg me to stop. Rated R due to language, adult content and because no one would read a Teen Comedy rated PG-13, let’s be honest. Enjoy!

Words: 21,651
Chapters: 3
Hits: 2,518

Harry and everyone go on the Newlywed game. What will happen? Who will win? Who will be the couples and why will Ron be sleeping on the couch tonight?

Words: 2,499
Chapters: 4
Hits: 2,517
She WILL be Mine... by kyc639
05/06/2004

When Hermione has a date, Harry realizes his feelings for her. But rather than just tell her, Harry devises a brilliant and complicated plan to get her to notice him...

Words: 8,136
Chapters: 5
Hits: 2,512

Harry, Ron and Hermione stumble across a what-if-vision. What do they want to see? What will they get to see?

Words: 4,219
Chapters: 6
Hits: 2,512

Ron and Ginny get into a fight, and some rather odd stuff begins to happen.

Words: 346
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,509

This is the same story as "The Wizard of Oz", only with different characters, and a bit different plot.

Words: 4,123
Chapters: 5
Hits: 2,503

You already know the Muggle version of the story about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Wizards tell it differently.

Words: 8,968
Chapters: 6
Hits: 2,502

At the beginning of yet another school year, head of house Severus Snape welcomes both new and not-so-new Slytherin students back with a few kindly words of wise, helpful and reassuring advice. Well, he welcomes them back, anyway.

Words: 811
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,499
Faking It by SiriusCompLEX
01/13/2006

Why that whole theory about James doing a Switching Curse with Remus would, most likely, blow up in his face.

Words: 1,145
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,496

In a world where Sirius was not framed and never went to Azkaban, two-year old Harry is in the care of his godfather. Sharing a house with Remus, all is blissful domesticity... until the day Sirius decides to put some shelves up. The Muggle Way. Will their happy home be destroyed in a cloud of brick dust and woodshavings? Will Sirius emerge with all his limbs still attached? And most importantly…will Harry ever get to Toys 'R' Us for his new paddling pool?

Words: 4,855
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,492

Rowling has said that book 2 was the most difficult to write especially the ending, in a early attempt she may have written something like this before she quickly threw it into the trash can.

Words: 1,229
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,491

The Founders in the Sorting Hat return once again, to sort out Voldemort in his many incarnations.

Words: 2,041
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,490

Spontaneous Death Reversal was completely unheard of, at least until this cloudy day in mid-2004 when an eight-year-dead Sirius Black begins banging on the long-ago locked door of the old Department of Mysteries.

Words: 2,435
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,489
I, Malfoy by That Which I Am
11/02/2006

I, Malfoy, hottest person in the school. I could have any girl (and most of the boys-even the straight ones) in the school. I, Malfoy, cleverest person in the school. I could beat Herm…Granger in any test. I, Malfoy, Quidditch player extraordinaire. I could have beaten Potter or Gin-the Weasley girl to the Snitch any time.

Words: 1,391
Chapters: 2
Hits: 2,489

Beware--it's Harry Potter, TV soap opera-style! Dashingly handsome Draco Malfoy and fiery Ginny Weasley are engaged to each other. But when Lucius doesn't agree, to what extremes will he go to separate them? Featuring ginormous complications with Cho Chang and pointless drama! Prepare yourself for sobbing!Harry with a dash of Caplocksbold!Harry, angry!Ron, Caplocks!Ron, laughing!Ron, nagging!Hermione, wailing!Narcissa Malfoy, strange!Voldemort, diabolical!Lucius Malfoy, and verypsychotic!Lucius Malfoy! Oh, yeah, you might want to watch out for those arguments between old Lucy-Poo and me. Will Draco and Ginny live happily ever after or will Lucius ruin it all?!

Words: 16,787
Chapters: 5
Hits: 2,484

Severus Snape and Remus Lupin are married and off on a whirlwind honeymoon. Some wedding guests remain to finish the leftover wine and wonder…

Words: 4,658
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,483
Life Is Cruel by Emma S.
04/17/2004

Oh, life is cruel for one Ginny Weasley. Harry Potter has stolen her heart and refuses to give it back. Not that Ginny has a problem with him having it. It's only that she doesn't have his heart as well. Cho Chang always seems to be at the end of his line of sight, and Ginny's had enough. It's time for a plan of action; revenge on the girl who stole her man's heart. Slightly AU - it's fifth year, but not OoTP style.

Words: 39,014
Chapters: 5
Hits: 2,483

Stuck at the Grangers' London flat on a hot August afternoon, Ron and Harry have three hours on their hands. And a pumpkin.

Words: 1,757
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,483

Hermione is REALLY tired of fangirls asking how to take care of the captured Ron, so she has made a handy guide to get you through all the basics of making Ron happy.

Words: 638
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,468
Green with Envy by Layla
12/04/2002

Ginny wants Harry to notice her and it seems whatever she might try to do he will not even glance at her because his eyes are glued on to Cho! Ginny will do anything and mean anything! I think Draco might have something to do with this fiasco!

Words: 3,330
Chapters: 3
Hits: 2,467

It's years after the Dark Lord was defeated. The wizarding world is at peace again, but a new evil seems to be lurking at Hogwarts. Student after student files in at the Hospital Wing, and Madam Pomfrey, unable to stem the epidemic, consults Professor Dumbledore. He turns for help to one of his most trusted employee. Will he agree? Will he succeed? And by the way, what's hydrochloric acid?

Words: 6,039
Chapters: 6
Hits: 2,461

What happens when you mix the marauders, Lily and a movie theatre? This chapter: Food and lots of it.

Words: 8,378
Chapters: 4
Hits: 2,455
Bed Games by Mimiheart
07/16/2003

Hermione listens in on Ron and Harry doing some... experimenting.

Words: 550
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,443

We offer Virgin!Sirius, Homophobic!Draco, Married!Snape, Straight!Remus, Sockporn!Dumbledore, Non-sexless!Blaise, Traumatized!Poppy, and other rare things.````Part 1: We meet Sirius, a relative, a certain hippogriff and eh... what? A Hogwarts that isn't over-run by gay students?

Words: 3,509
Chapters: 5
Hits: 2,434

When the Hogsmeade Apothecary runs low on potion ingredients, Peter Pettigrew gets his comeuppance and Snape gets the shock of his life. Read if you hate Wormtail!

Words: 383
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,431

James is a bad boy. James stares at Lily. James doesn't pay attention is Transiguration. James turns best friends into aardvarks. Bad boy, James, bad boy...

Words: 3,633
Chapters: 3
Hits: 2,425

TropicalSinger!Draco. MobBoss!Harry. IrascibleBartender!Ron. Showgirl!Hermione. Who could ask for anything more? (Backup singers not included.)

Words: 1,402
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,423
Smoke Two Joints by Peeler
07/04/2002

Neville discovers some interesting plants while doing an extra-credit Herbology project. With assistance from Rasta!Dean, he turns Hogwarts into a land of free love and inexpensive pot. But what happens when the Ministry declares weed illegal? And what does The Jammin' Lord V. think of all this?

Words: 2,250
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,422