VH1 Goes Inside Harry Potter Fan Fiction Couples... Again

Harry: I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really REALLY don't want to do this....

Ron: Uh....we're on the air, Harry.

Harry: Do you even remember what happened last time?

Ron: No, I don't....it's kinda all a blur.

Harry: You fell down so many times.

Ron: YOU HIT ME WITH A TRANQUILIZER GUN!!!!

Harry: Get over yourself, girlfriend!

Ron: Harry, you know we're on air?

Harry: Crap.

Ron: Hi, there! This is the show, heh heh.

Harry: We're back and we've got more new couples then you can believe! Let's start off with who Ron ends up with!

Ron: I hate you.

Harry: Ron and Blaise Zabini. Who the (BLEEPS OUT WORD) is Blaise Zabini?

Ron: I have no idea.

Harry: And here, you...erm, you, um, you...

Ron: What is it, Harry? Embarrassed? Let me see that list...(Looks at list)....WHAT? I DON'T LOVE YOU!

Harry: (Blushes furiously)

Ron: (Turns beet red) Anyways, let's get on with the show.

Harry: Y-yes, right. This is the Marauder Section; we get to see just who the Marauders are paired with.

Ron: Lupin and....GINNY?

Harry: This person wrote Ginny with Sirius!

Ron: Harry, here's your Mum with Lupin. And with Sirius!

Harry: T-that's impossible...Mum...HOW COULD SHE? (Bursts into tears)

Ron: Ah, sweet revenge! Let's go into the Just Plain Gross segment.

Harry: HAHAHAHA! LOOK, IT'S FILCH WITH THE GIANT SQUID!

Ron: These writers are CRAZY, who would've thought of Moaning Myrtle and Tom Riddle?

Harry: Or your brother Bill and Tonks!

Ron: Look, some nutter's put Dudley and Neville together!

Harry: You win. Dudley and Neville beats Filch and the Giant Squid hands down. Its just....gross.

Ron: We'll be back after the break!

~Commercial~

Harry: So, you know, that's how I got my rash on my....

Ron: Erm, Harry, we are on air now.

Harry: (Blushes) Oh, oh, yes.

Ron: So now we're into the Just Plain Gross segment, and have I got a really demented one....Loony and Parvati!

Harry: Funny, Luna never stuck me like that....

Ron: With all that nargle junk, you never know.

Harry: True, true. Luna's with Blaise again, who is this Blaise?

Ron: Sounds like he's busy if you know what I mean.

Harry: Wow, Ginny looks busy too, here she's with Neville, Seamus, and Snape.

Ron: I AM GOING TO HAVE A TALK WITH HER!! WHERE ARE THOSE GUYS, I AM GOING TO-

Harry: Ron, look here. You do your own sister! You must be getting desperate. Ginny's super busy, she's with Oliver right here.

Ron: Not to burst your bubble, but in this fiction you end up with Lupin, did a little extra school work, eh?

Harry: (Strangles Ron) I'LL KILL YOU!!

Ron: Don't kill me, kill the writers!

Harry: Okay, I'm game. Let's name the last few couples and get our pitchforks!

Ron: You're with Blaise, if only we knew who he was.

Harry: Hahah! Ron you're with Pansy!

Ron: So is Goyle the git, ahahah!

Harry: Seamus's with Oliver and Dean! God, get these people on medication!

Ron: This one's a bit depressing, Angelina and Alicia.

Harry: They're both so hot it is depressing.

Ron: We got Neville and Snape, that wouldn't work out; Neville would be too scared to make a move.

Harry: Whoa.....Lupin and Tonks! Who would've thought of that? Okay, time to kill the writers!

Ron: I've got my pitchfork and torch!

Harry: I've got some Canadian bacon and shoelaces!

Ron: Why? We don't want to feed them.

Harry: It's rancid bacon!

Ron: Oh, okay!

(The credits roll and Harry and Ron run off, yelling at the writers)

END

Harry: Hullo! We just finished beating the authors to a pulp, and Ron and I think it's important we name a few of the couples we missed.

Ron: Actually, the author of this story is making us do it. But there's really no difference, or so she told us.

Harry: Anyways, here they are!

Ron: Draco Malfoy and Cho Chang...interesting.

Harry: Yes, quite a delicate flavor.

Ron: .............

Harry: Seamus and Hannah Abbott! That's a new one.

Ron: TO THE EXTREME!!!!

Harry: Here's one from the days of old, Snape and Lucius Malfoy!

Ron: Malfoy won't like that....EXCELLENT!

Harry: That's it for now. And who knows, there might be another one of these coming!

FIN