Peeler

You've seen the movie (or have you?). Well it doesn't matter, because this fic bears little to no resemblance to the fine picture. I present, therefore, for your amusement, your favorite characters from the "Smoke Two Joints" series taking a mad trip through Diagon Alley. Acid; LSD; Lysergic Acid Diethylamide. Psilocin. Psilocybin. Plenty of Tetrahydrocannabinol, for good measure. Read the fic. Laugh it up. Peace out. ````Rated "R" for some profanity and extreme drug use.

In a time of turmoil and approaching war, a few in the wizarding world cling hopefully to a prophecy foretelling the birth of a wizard who will save them. ````Now a baby has been born, black-haired and green-eyed. The world lies poised on the brink. ````The year is 1927. The baby's name is Tom Marvolo Riddle. This is his story. ````*Prologue: The Prophecy*

Takes place approximately one year after "Born Under A Bad Sign", but reading "BUaBS" is not necessary. The threat of Voldemort is inescapable, and his presence takes its toll on everyone. Follow the lives of Draco Malfoy, Albus Dumbledore, and Lord Voldemort himself as the Dark Lord's shadow spreads itself again over the magical people of Great Britain. Will he seize ultimate power, or will fortune prevail once more? THIS CHAPTER: Prologue; opening scenes.

Yes, your drug-addled eyes saw right - it's a sequel to that most ubiquitous of franchises, "Smoke Two Joints". In this extended sequel- wait, make that threequel, you'll see Draco and Hermione hot-box the Leaky Cauldron's restroom, Fred and George go on a road trip, and Harry practically destroy Number 4 Privet Drive with a party involving copious amounts of weed and alcohol. Guest appearences by The Bitchy Policewoman, Lord V. & His New Monikers, Lucius M., Lucius' cane, and its new partner, the Slytherin Pimp Car. Thrill to the covert yet noisy guest bedroom liasons! Try to find Draco's pants! Question the unruly spellings! Wonder how the hell Michael Jackson got involved in it all! Light it up, smoke it up, inhale, exhale, and read on!

The war is long over, and Draco Malfoy is dying. However, his soul is not at ease. He recounts the events of the war that made him the person he is. Action.

Voldemort has united the Death Eaters with the mighty Neville Longbottom in an attempt to force the Ministry to legalize Marijuana. Meanwhile, Draco and Hermione are arrested and Snape is the victim of some good one-liners. Features many high characters, beanbag chairs, bitchy policewomen, and Lucius reminiscing about good times. Ahh, good times.

Neville discovers some interesting plants while doing an extra-credit Herbology project. With assistance from Rasta!Dean, he turns Hogwarts into a land of free love and inexpensive pot. But what happens when the Ministry declares weed illegal? And what does The Jammin' Lord V. think of all this?