701 - 720 of 3,602 Stories

Hermione says no one can bring the internet to Hogwarts. Draco disagrees. Includes Hogwarts on livejournal, cool screen names, silliness, and more.

Draco starts a diary in the hopes of writing down and achieving his life goals. But when he has life goals such as--``1. Kill Potter horribly and make it look like an accident.``2. Maim and Murder his sidekicks Little Miss Know-it-all and The Weasel King, just for fun, and the pleasure of seeing them squirm.``--who can guess how it will end.

Harry is sent by Dumbledore to be watched by Dracula, King of the Vampires. What's wrong with this picture?

This is an interview with the villain from the Harry Potter series that everyone loves to hate: Lord Voldemort. What would happen if a muggle television personality were to interview this famous fiend? Let's find out...

Professor Snape discovers a lack in his geographical knowledge.

The title explains itself.

A parody of all the things we love to hate about Mary Sues.  Includes trademark sneers and smirks, pregnant pauses, eyebrow raising, platform shoes, dark and stormy nights, secrets, love octagons and, of course, snogging.

The Princess Bride as you've never seen it before. Draco is a penniless Farm Boy! Ginny is the most beautiful woman in the world! Harry searches for the silver-handed man who betrayed his father, Hagrid rhymes, Snape dies, and Voldemort and Wormtail plot to take over the world -- or at the very least, Guilder.

So... you've stumbled across Snape's diary... do you dare read it? Open the pages and discover what really goes in inside the mysterious minds of everyone's favourite Potions Master.

Here's just another little funny fic I wrote. Basically, it involves the author (me!) kidnapping several HP characters and forcing them to act out the Matrix. Sound like fun? No worries, it has several ships, considering Harry's such a flirt. Involves Leatherwearing!Hermione, Hero!Harry, Bad Ass!Lucius, and several other favorites.

Seamus feels left out when Dean spends all his time with Ginny, Neville mourns the loss of a good friend, and someone is heading for Azkaban.

So this is a really unusual day for Draco Malfoy which drives him crazy. What happens? Read to find out!

What would have happened if James hadn't died? Chapter 1 of the Potter Place. Humor, angst (only in the first chapter), and general cuteness. AW! James is being a (good)father!!!

Have you ever wondered what happened when Lockhart asked our dear Potions Professor to be his 'assistant'?

Ginny does a favor for her twin brothers that leads her on a wild ride with her not so favorite enemy, Draco Malfoy.

Fred and George pull a prank on Malfoy... but unfortunately it goes farther than they expected it to!

When Neville makes a mistake on one of his potions, only Snape is unaffected by the results. Can he keep everyone's pants on - literally - until the effects wear off?

How Tom Riddle turned evil, and what muffins, the devil, and squibs had to do with it.

Even wondered what really was written in Tom's Diary before it was given to Ginny? The secrets of young Slytherin Heir and bizarre events from his life await you in this story...

Death Eater Draco searches for the perfect girl to fulfill the Dark Lord's request.

What happens when Hogwarts puts on LotR as its school play? Read this to find out!

Hogwarts students have dealt with all sorts of Mary Sues - the ridiculous, the annoying, and even the violently evil. But now, they have one girl that no previous fic could prepare them for - the terminally insane. Leigh is - well, we'll say "unique." You have to be, to have a pet rock - excuse us, Rok. Who talks. And who told her that she is in fact Sailor LoOn, guardian of peace, justice, and the world's bananas.``But that last part is top secret. Please don't read it. Then she'll have to kill you. Or at least poke you viciously with her Loon stick.

Another -- perhaps the most obvious -- of the end-of-year report series.

Time has passed, but Transfigurations exams are still a bane to ``Snape, Malfoy and the others, but they\\\'ve got a plan.... No sheep were harmed ``in the making of this story. Just chocolate chip cookies.

Because of Hermione Rita had to look for a new job - and she found it! Agony Aunt at "Witch Weekly"...

We all saw You-Know-Who's body lying dead on the ground when we were seventeen, so that means he's been dead for three years, right? Wrong. That's the first problem. Second problem is that Terry doesn't have a girlfriend or a real job. Third is that Zacharias and I will be sharing a room for the next six months. Fourth is that ... you get the idea.

A D/Hr fic satire, prompted by the use of the same plot line over and *over* again. Not for the weak of heart or the weak of butt.

This story is a parody of Dickens' The Christmas Carol with our favorite Potions Master taking the starring role. Severus Snape takes a trip through his subconscious and comes out with a greater appreciation for the one person who truly cares about him.

A twisted tale in which Voldemort (who else?) tries to take over the world by using a concoction of spells to turn him into Barney the dinosaur. If this seems twisted and dumb to you, read the authors note in the first chapter where I try to explain everything. Mainly a fictional (supposedly) account on the Purple One's rise to power in the first chapter, it gradually becomes more and more HP oriented. Totally HP in the third chapter.

Imagine if all the HP characters had to act out every single one of their fics? It would be totally twisted. This is my take on what might happen behind the scenes of a D/G fic.

If you love Remus J. Lupin (and don't we all?), you've probably wondered what the 'J.' stands for. Sirius Black wonders the same thing, and he isn't above using a chocolate frog to find out.

Why is everyone declaring love for Harry? Why is Malfoy off the Slytherin Quidditch team? Why is Ginny making a list? Why is Hermione so upset? And who is that girl with the funny accent? Too many Unexpected Task ideas combine to confuse everyone. Four chapters.

15 years after the trio graduates. Now their kids are taking their places at Hogwarts

Dumbledore enlists the help of a friend from the States to help his former DADA teachers work through their anxieties.

When Sirius is given an ultimatum by his mother, McGonagall enforces cannon and the PG13 rating is kept absolute, there’s only one thing left to do... Warning: Keep your tongue firmly in your cheek. Contains: slash, het, femmeslash, incest, outcest (bear with me), humor, cliché, disturbing use of drapery, utter demolition of the 4th wall, melodramatics, threesomes, some language, & near-musical encounters.

Updated to comply with Half Blood Prince. “'You do not seek to kill me, Dumbledore.' 'We both know that there are other ways of destroying a man, Tom,' Dumbledore said calmly." What are those ways, and what does candy have to do with anything?

A very \

It's bottles, powder, diapers and pacifiers for Ron and his friends when a prank's result turns... Infant? 0.o. With their arch rival the sly and evil Draco Malfoy reduced to a mere toddler, their punishment is to 'baby sit' the blond haired Slytherin, until such time as a cure can be formulated. What's a Gryffindor to do?

What happened after Harry and Hermione left the Great Hall and what Draco had to say about it. A sequel to Humiliation.

As the Ministry celebrates the final victory over the Dark Lord, Lucius Malfoy receives a very unusual offer.

The Marauders, Lily, Snape, Lucius, Bellatrix, Narcissa, and Bill are locked in a room and being forced to MST on HPPS/HPSS! What will happen when Bill annoys Lucius to hell, Bellatrix sings and shatters several windows, and Sirius decides to kill Peter?

Okay, this is really hard. It is an MST for POTC. I warn you, plotlessness possibly ahead.

Harry, Ron and Hermione have a little fun with the author.

Silly ships are spoofed in an even sillier ficlet. - ``“No,” he hissed. “I have just returned from the Dark Lord. I am in severe pain from the affereffects of the Crucio curse. You will tend to my injuries,” he said, stripping off his clothes.``“Fine,” she said, admiring his thin, paper white body.

James, Sirius and Remus lost the Marauders Map sometime in sixth year. Severus Snape is a git. Here is how they lost the map, in a very bland sort of way. Severus is a git? Brief mention of some non-existant characters. Snape is... you get the picture. THE MAPE IS GONE FOREVER!

Written for the Trio FQF in answer to the challenge: Hermione is in the delivery room; Harry and Ron attempt to be supportive but find it trying. What's worse than an anxious father-to-be? Two fathers-to-be!

Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny realize what the biggest difference is between boys and girls.

Ginny's love life just got much more complicated... and the truth is finally revealed!

'No offense guys but you reek!' Why do they reek? It's Hogwarts battle of the Sexes. Who will win and why do the boys smell of flowers? What happens next? You decide!

Severus Snape's best friend returns to teach at Hogwarts-- YES, HE HAS FRIENDS. Keep your smart-aleck comments to yourself! Some of the things that ensue: green and silver body paint, year-long chess games, action, fun, insanity for all ages! A few OCs, and a side of Severus Snape you may never have seen. Sarcasm, arguments, and reminisces about Lily abound. Voila.

Malfoys. Weasleys. One exotic Hawaiian island, two weeks' vacation. Worlds collide, mayhem ensues, the unexpected happens.

Minerva McGonagall is failing Potions thanks to several distractions of hair harassment and a certain mishap that wasn’t her fault. Honest! And now the only way Slughorn will allow her to pass his class is to get tutoring from his prized student: Tom Riddle. Pissed emotions, snarky remarks, sexual tension, and chaos ensue. And it’s going to be one hell of a year for the both of them.

-A once off parody of cliche. Featuring reluctant snogging, girly screams, pointless conferences, Mary-Sues, makeovers, no plot, attempt at witty insults, sadistic Weasleys, horny Malfoys, mindless swearing and innuendo, dodgy time lapses, powdered cheese, general insanity and a happy ending. Written for all ficcers who despise cliche-ridden fifth year fics, this fic will move you... (into the corner, shaking with fear).

“Heir of Slytherin! Seriously evil wizard coming through!”``“Yeah, he’s off to the Chamber of Secrets for a cup of tea with his fanged servant!” ``Fred and George had more in mind than just embarassing Harry! Well, actually they didn't, but they wanted to do it in a bigger way. Think cameras, costumes and watering holes! Weasley Wizarding Productions get their first hit with The Heir of Slytherin!

Or, The Tumultuous Courtship of Draco Malfoy and Ginny Weasley: A Parody.

Response to challenge #80 on blooddance.com. Snape’s mum comes back from Japan after an interesting vision that will change Severus’ life, as well as the life of one Harry Potter. Oneshot.

When Sirius's attempt to meddle in Remus's and Severus's love-affair goes awry, he decides it's high time he drop out of Hogwarts. A parody of Jim Jacobs's and Warren Casey's musical "Grease."

Molly Weasley tries her hand at matchmaking. Wackiness ensues.

This one HAS no excuse. Read if you have absolutely nothing better to do with your life. Harry and Ron join Muggle Studies class.

Spend a day viewing the Weasley family through the eyes of Ginny. It's a rough life with six brothers and a well-meaning but curious dad. And a mother who'll know if you did your homework or not!

A big project has come upon all seventh year Hogwarts students. They get to take care of Baby-Think-It-Over! Who will make excellent parents and who won’t? Follow Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, and more through their weekend with Baby-Think-It-Over!

Moony and Padfoot are sending innocent notes to each other one day during school... and it all goes downhill, chaotic and cartoonishly violent. Embarrassing moments, long lost stuffed animals, and more!

Sean shows off a trick he learned from an American relative which soon turns into a day-long contest.

The Beaters: a legend, a phenomenon. The rock group that forever ``changes rock and roll. This is their story.

Alternate Universe: Welcome to Pureblood Academy, the fangirls dream... A student called Harry Potter transfers from a poorer school to the prestigious Pureblood Academy where Harry encounters the Host Club led by a certain blonde. Chaos, comedy, and riddikulus amount of romance ensues.

When Lily Evans is the victim of a love potion that makes her drool over Professor Slughorn for two days, there is no doubt in James Potter's mind that Snape was somehow (however directly or indirectly) involved. Eager to use any excuse to terrorize Snivellus, Sirius works up a masterful plan of revenge that will make Snape the victim of his own trick. No one listens to Lupin when he desperately seeks to divert the twisted scheme, and no one escapes the disaster that ensues when it becomes dreadfully screwed up. Everybody/Somebody (but mostly artificial).

An Advice Column with our favorite Slash pair, Harry and Draco! Read their thoughts on things from ninjas to pimples and everything in between. Guaranteed to cheer you up with the glory that is Draco's sarcasm and Harry's... Well, he's Harry.

Harry, Hermione, and Ron step into Diagon Alley and decide to lunch in the area - on the Muggle side. When a visit to a nearby bookstore (Hermione's request, of course) introduces them to a crowd fans lining up for autographs, dressed in HP costumes, our everyday Muggle world clashes with the wizarding. A frustrated Hermione, a bewildered Harry and a frightened Ron try to get to the bottom of the situation - just who are Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, and Daniel Radcliffe?

In the beginning of the Marauders’ fifth year at Hogwarts, they devise yet another plan to prank Snape. But when Lily interferes with their plans, the boys have to get back at her. However, revenge is not-so sweet this time, and their plot backfires. Will they be able to get through the day without being caught?

Set during late winter of year six. Remus and Sirius discuss how they should tell Harry that they're more then just good friends.

Damsel in distress (dam\'zel in di-stres\'): adj/adv 1. a maiden in peril; 2. the subject of a hero\'s rescue; 3. Draco Malfoy.``Gen-fic.

Minerva McGonagall is desperate for an evening of peace, after a long hard day. But, it seems as if everyone is desperate to stop her from getting it! Hilarious run-ins with Severus and Madam Hooch add to the craziness! SS/XH MM/AD

What would happen if Harry Potter found himself trapped inside J.R.R. Tolkien's world? I know you all have been dying to know, so here is my interpretation.

The title's pretty self-explanatory. Would anything I said make you read this? Hmm. Figured.

Harry finds an alternative, and infinitely more fun, use for Dumbeldore's Pensieve...

Set during the summer before Harry's final year at Hogwarts. Harry decides to relax and live a little while he's on vacation. Harry meets some interesting people. Hijinks, hilarity, calamities, hibachis, jalopies, shenanigans and eventually some *hot* dirty slash/het ensue. Also features your favorite character, who shan't be named, for spoiler purposes.

What really happened during MWPP Hogwarts days? A Parody of MWPP stories.

What will Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Draco do when they get really bored during their detention?!

There's a bad guy around, and it's not Voldemort. He has folders (ring binders) instead of Death Eaters, and has a strange relation to Voldemort. Harry, Ron and Hermione save the day, in the end. What happens in the middle is a different case altogether.

The summer after her first year at Hogwarts, Lily invites her friends to stay for a few days. Her older sister's boyfriend is rude and the marauders feel that Vernon Dursley must be taught a lesson.

It\'s Picture Day. It\'s rather weird style though.

Draco is bothered by a distressing issue. It makes him push over coffeepots, try to avoid Harry Potter, and sneak out in the middle of the night with friends and minions. Especially funny if you like slash :D

I've had, you've probably had it. It's inevitable. Even for our beloved characters.

Oh, the woes of a Potions Master. Know the thoughts of everyone's favorite Greasy Git as he writes in his diary. Eventual SS/HG and SS/HP

The Marauders may be confused as to exactly which version of 1970s Hogwarts they are currently in, but even that cannot prevent them from wreaking havoc. With special guest appearances by Lily Evans, Bellatrix Black, Albus Dumbledore, Professor Flitwick, the Mirror of Erised, James’s toy snitch, and Remus Lupin’s temper. Rated for frequent use of the word “torrid.”

When a kidnapping goes awry, what's left is a very confused Death Eater.

Tonks and Remus are (finally) together! And tonight- they're going to go on their first real date. Trouble is, Tonks can't get out of bed, Remus is getting cold feet, Charlie is in the middle of a not-so-mid-life crisis, and Sirius is...well...Sirius.

A ficlet set in Al's Snitch! universe. In which Draco learns to use his ... um ... weapon.

Why won't they get out of my head?!``Go inside the mind of a beyond obssessed Harry Potter fan...

Draco's and Ginny's parents make arrangements that force the two of them to spend the entire summer in Malfoy Manor together alone....or are they?

Harry wanted to propose to Hermione before the last week of their time in Hogwarts was up. Mistakes, mistakes and more mistakes. A challenge from the FictionAlleyPark's Pumpkin Pie thread. H/Hr, R/L, D/G. Please R/R!

Seamus gets a bit catty, and it's all Dean's fault.

Seamus Finnigan has everything a man could ever want. Money. Booze. Girls. But deep down he feels unfulfilled, and as usual it falls to our one and only hero to help.

Harry comes home and Draco is hungry. What do they do?

Prof. Snape helps Ms. Granger take possession of a legacy, but before either of them can enjoy it, there's the little matter of a couple of Unbreakable Vows to deal with.

Professor Sprout has a crush on the new DADA professor - never mind that he's a bit hairy once a month. And Percy Weasley is forced to make a choice between Penelope and Oliver. Featuring a simply stunning duet by the Weasley Twins. Some slash. A parody of the rock-musical "Rent."

Well we've all assumed that Cho Chang may be a bit off, but just see how crazy she can really be. Slight R/Hr.

This is just a funny lil' fic about how Hermione is like totally clueless~!~ R/Hr (of course~!~)

Hermione and Ron have been fighting a lot lately. Will one of their rows go a little too far? Love Triangle involved.